Zero Punctuation: Heavy Rain

Recommended Videos

Clueless Hero

New member
Oct 5, 2009
185
0
0
Most of the review is pretty accurate, except for the end where he implies that he knew who the killer was going to be from the start.

I, on the other hand, was blown away when I found out who the real killer was, mostly because of the fact they drop a crapload of false clues in the story to make you think it's different people throughout the story.

Maybe Yahtzee is just psychic...
 

Yopaz

Sarcastic overlord
Jun 3, 2009
6,087
0
0
delta46 said:
WAnk!
wank !
Wank!
Wank!

I'm glad that someone saw it was just a big quicktime event
Well, most of those I've seen talk about it says it is, and it really fucking IS!!! When they announced the movie I thought that would be the game except they removed the buttons you need to press.

I didn't want him to do a review of this game because I thought I knew what he'd say about it. I was wrong, he did surprise me and I love this review.
 

almostgold

New member
Dec 1, 2009
729
0
0
Wasn't gonna get it before, still not gonna get it now. I watched a friend play and I can honestly tell you it was the most boring game I have ever seen. Bad gameplay, bad pacing, bad characters, bad story.
 

PhiMed

New member
Nov 26, 2008
1,483
0
0
Eagle Est1986 said:
Huh, early this week, I assume there's been a day-light saving change somewhere in the world that isn't here?
Kinda disappointed he even reviewed this to be honest, not his best. Still, Final Fantasy XIII and God Of War III soon, can't wait!
I wouldn't hold my breath for a FF XIII review from Yahtzee He's been quite clear on his thoughts of JRPGs. Finished God of War III today. It may be my new third favorite game ever. Super epic.

OT: This was the funniest review of his in months. Shampoo-drinkingly will have to be added to my lexicon of awesome Yahtzee-inspired adverbs.
 

Darks63

New member
Mar 8, 2010
1,562
0
0
When i saw the review supplement for Heavy Rain I knew Yaz would rip it a new one, I was not disapointed.
 

FallenMessiah88

So fucking thrilled to be here!
Jan 8, 2010
470
0
0
Funny as always but im still getting this, mostly just to get a break from all the gods of war rip offs and power armored space marines! :p
 

Galad

New member
Nov 4, 2009
691
0
0
hmm..

I already spoilered myself in the forum, seeing how I'm unlikely to play this game anytime soon but shouldn't that info about the killer be in a spoiler tag?
 

geldonyetich

New member
Aug 2, 2006
3,715
0
0
ForgottenPr0digy said:
I'm surprised Yathzee actually like the game
Interesting interpretation of, "as a game, it's a stack of poo poo pancakes."

That's pretty much what I derived from researching it, really. It's not so much a game as it is a cinematic experience. Then, it's not so much a cinematic experience as it is a movie with some elements of interactions being rendered on PS3 hardware.

On the other hard, it did make Yahtzee highly uncomfortable, so it served as an excellent game for a Zero Punctuation review.
 

demouse

New member
Nov 23, 2009
40
0
0
pretty much exactly what i expected of his review and the game.

still, very entertaining review, if the game was on PC id consider buying it
 

werekitsune

New member
Oct 18, 2009
38
0
0
Hm, I hear Heavy Rain is really good, so I'll probably buy it, but I didn't like this episode that much. Yahtzee's pacing and tone sound rushed and really off.
 

AvsJoe

Elite Member
May 28, 2009
9,051
0
41
Oh wow, for a game he kinda liked, he really obliterated it! Very funny video!
 

Amata

New member
Mar 18, 2009
16
0
0
Definately one of his funniest reviews, I hope he will do God of War III soon, and maybe even FFXIII. I know he's not too keen on JRPGs but he did do Valkyria Chronicles, so yeah...

Anyways I loved the bit, "Baron von Teapot's fucking ludicrous adventure". :p
 

phlegethonic

New member
Apr 4, 2009
13
0
0
Joa_Belgium said:
I feel obligated to jump into this discussion and tell this so-called critic and his followers what Heavy Rain is really about. This video that does nothing more and nothing less than rants on an ingenious game is in my opinion a valuable waste of internet space and the biggest load of ass paint I have ever seen.
From the review of Arkham Asylum:
"Consider me a praiser by exception and that everything I don't mention is perfectly fine."

You seem to be confused about the meaning of the word "critic".

crit·ic
(krtk)
n.
1. One who forms and expresses judgments of the merits, faults, value, or truth of a matter.
2. One who specializes especially professionally in the evaluation and appreciation of literary or artistic works: a film critic; a dance critic.
3. One who tends to make harsh or carping judgments; a faultfinder.
A critic is not someone who effusively gushes about how great something is; that is what is known as a shill, or possibly a Gamespot employee.
A critic offers criticism of something, in this instance, a game. If you are criticizing him for not giving Quantic Dream a lavish bouquet filled with praise, then you are not a legitimate critic in any sense of the word.

If you didn't get the point of the emotional immersion in the story and the bond you create with the characters, you have failed to understand the point of Heavy Rain. Do take notice of the fact that the majority of the reviewers are giving this game 90 at least.
Well, that shows what you know. Argumentum ad populum is not a logical argument, it is a fallacy that assumes because a lot of people agree upon something, then it must be true.
I certainly like your use of phrases like "emotional immersion" that could have been lifted straight from a press release.

That says a lot about you and your "understanding" of the fact that these characters are supposed to be portrayed as real people with a life. But apparently, all you want are artificial characters with no realistic background that are always getting their heads blown off for no apparent reason.
The name of this website is The Escapist. Most gamers do not play video games so they can simulate doing shit that they could easily do in real life. No one wants to play a washing machine emulator and no one wants to play a masturbation simulator. My point being, at no point in the review did he really criticize the characters, so you are just doing a knee-jerk defense against a straw man. Well done, you!


So in conclusion: you have lost all credibility, Yahtzee, if you ever had any to begin with. The only thing missing is the spoiling of the Origami Killer's identity. That would have really been the finishing touch on this mountain of wannabe review crap.
Who are you to declare this? The almighty critic god? It is clear that you are not looking at this review or subject objectively, but throwing ad hominems at a well-known and respected game critic for not giving the game a tongue bath implies that you are not a credible witness in this case, and you are just leaping off a cliff to fanatically defend a game that has "emotional immersion".


Yes, this is my opinion and I'm not changing a single word. Feel free to ban me.
It is unlikely that anyone will ban you. It is HIGHLY likely that people will call you out, rightfully, as someone who doesn't know what the hell he is talking about.
 

Quicksilver1111

New member
Sep 18, 2008
42
0
0
Thank you for mentioning a frustration I've had before the game was released. Why couldn't they change the killer each time? The whodunnit element is set up so it's easy to find out who it is fairly early on. As for voice acting, the only one I really hated was Norman's voice, especially when he got angry.
 

SamElliot'sMustache

New member
Oct 5, 2009
388
0
0
Joa_Belgium said:
I feel obligated to jump into this discussion and tell this so-called critic and his followers what Heavy Rain is really about. This video that does nothing more and nothing less than rants on an ingenious game is in my opinion a valuable waste of internet space and the biggest load of ass paint I have ever seen.

If you didn't get the point of the emotional immersion in the story and the bond you create with the characters, you have failed to understand the point of Heavy Rain. Do take notice of the fact that the majority of the reviewers are giving this game 90 at least. That says a lot about you and your "understanding" of the fact that these characters are supposed to be portrayed as real people with a life. But apparently, all you want are artificial characters with no realistic background that are always getting their heads blown off for no apparent reason.

So in conclusion: you have lost all credibility, Yahtzee, if you ever had any to begin with. The only thing missing is the spoiling of the Origami Killer's identity. That would have really been the finishing touch on this mountain of wannabe review crap.

Yes, this is my opinion and I'm not changing a single word. Feel free to ban me.
Oh, joy.

What characters were in this game exactly? Between the four protagonists, you could maybe muster up two dimensions between them. The Dad didn't have a personality until the first kid died, and even then it consisted of nothing more than "I'm sad" (yes, an understandable emotion, but like I said, it's the only trait that was applied to him, besides "devoted" after the second kid gets snatched. I guess he has the mutant power of gaining humanity after tragedy strikes); the Girl, well, Yahtzee pretty much summed up that she's only there to be exploited; the PI had the slightly interesting hook of having asthma, but that got dropped in favor of a twist that, even forgiving the huge narrative cheat (and it is a cheat, for those of you who know what it is), was dull and uninspired; FBI Guy had potential, but his side of the story amounted to a couple of cliches stapled together (good cop/bad cop on one hand, and the Hollywood version of drug-addict on the other, where the effects of said addiction is mere plot contrivance). These were about as artificial as characters get in any form of storytelling, existing only to recite the exact same tired lines as every bargain-basement TV movie.

And thank you for telling us all what Heavy Rain is really about. It's opened my eyes that we can bond with these dull people through shaving, brushing our teeth, and watching them walk into a wall for the 800th time while the camera and the controls decide whether or not to work properly. Personally, I'd rather have bonded with the character because they had some interesting quirk or were funny, or had some good cameraderie with the people around them, or were mysterious in some way, but I suppose that will have to do. I have seen the light!

All sarcasm aside: your holier-than-thou attitude towards the review is hilarious. Especially how you take the time to lecture us all on how great the game is, but really only sounding like David Cage's publicist. After all, it's hardly an either/or scenario between "emotionally immersive" vs. "heads blown off for no reason", as there are numerous games that can get the former without being pretentious swipes from bad films (see: Silent Hill 2, Psychonauts, Ico, Shenmue, Assassin's Creed, hell you can argue GTAIV, the Metal Gear series, or the Final Fantasy series all do this).

And you're certainly free to love Heavy Rain, no one here will stop you, but don't assume that those who don't are a bunch of plebians screaming 'EM0 F@G11!!1" at the thought of mature storytelling. :)
 

Gladion

New member
Jan 19, 2009
1,469
0
0
Joa_Belgium said:
Fanboy is pissed?

Let me just give you a quick summary of answers:

a)These are not serious reviews, but joke videos.
b)Real reviews mean jack shit. A game could recieve 100% from every reviewer in the world, but that does not mean it's good or that I have to like it. It just appeals to many people. See MW2.
c)I'd love to ban you simply for trying to come off as clever, acting as if the mods were very predictable by saying "feel free to ban me".

Keep your pants on, don't take a shit on my opinion as well, please. I love Heavy Rain. But as Yahtzee also stated, it's hardly a game - the term "interactive drama" the developers gave it fits it pretty nicely.
 

BloodSquirrel

New member
Jun 23, 2008
1,263
0
0
Brotherofwill said:
Man I don't get Yatzhee sometimes. It's funny and he's a really great guy, but what's he exactly trying to get at?

He keeps on complaining about lazy sequels, cookie-cutter bland adventures and an overall lack of originality, but then he doesn't do anything about it. He keeps on reviewing shitty, mainstream titles instead of maybe branching out a bit to show us some better games. He said that 'noone likes it when I'm being nice', but that's just not true. His Psychonauts review owned, I bet thousands of people picked that up and tried it because of his recommendation. I did. He just doesn't do anything about it. He has a viewership of millions, he really could pitch some new concepts at us instead of whining and repeating the same tripe.

So the pacing is off? I strongly disagree. In order for these 'visceral' moments to work, the pacing has to be balanced with high to low moments. Like in great movies, starting slow is often extremely helpfull because it makes the more accelerated bits seem more extreme. It's supposed to be a murder mistery like 'Misery' or 'Don't Look Now', it's always good to set these up in the frameworks of common lifes to get the necessary shock value later on. U2 was great, but the shoot-bang-bang formula will only work so well, and no single moment is able to stand out. Excessive action is really a problem in modern entertainment.

I loved the beginning of this game. You really don't know what to expect. It starts incredibly slow. Ridiculously slow. I sure as hell made some jokes about it, while I was playing it (like shake contoller after the peeing animation), but it still worked because it was new and set the frame works. My mother was interested in the game from watching the first 10 minutes, that says it all (and she's very hard to get interested in games). The only thing she's been interested in in this medium is The Last Guardian, because it resembles the imaginative.

I don't mind that he doesn't like it. Hell there are loads of things that I didn't like about it. Voice acting was extremely unbalanced, it relied on a fair share of clichees and the timing that the game is on can be iritating at times. But it was a breath of fresh air in the current releases. Atleast he can highlight that it does some new things, instead of giving people the impression that this is a Sims game.
If you really thought he was going to like this game, you haven't really been paying attention.

For starters, Yahtzee's complaining and pretensions to some kind of greater standards have always been something of a joke. He's always contradicted himself on what he claims to want, and and he's always been more fanboyish about the few things he does like than than genuinely able to explain what they're great. Psychonauts is a perfect example- the game was fun, but it was hardly deserving of being placed above many of the games that he's reviewed. Or how about Painkiller, one of the dumbest, most simplistic shooters of the decade? It's fine if you like that sort of thing, but don't come to me afterward pretending that you're too good for Halo.

Until the day where Yahztee gives a good review to a game that it isn't cool to give a good review to, like, say, Halo, I'll never consider him a serious critic.

Second, Yahtzee has never liked games that put story over gameplay. He's complained about quick time events. He's never been patient with games. What, exactly, made you think he'd like Heavy Rain? Even if I did take him seriously, and even if I didn't personally find the idea behind Heavy Rain to be incredibly dull, I still wouldn't have expected him to like it.
 

mesoforte

New member
Jan 5, 2010
123
0
0
A1 said:
JaredXE said:
A1 said:
delta46 said:
WAnk!
wank !
Wank!
Wank!

I'm glad that someone saw it was just a big quicktime event

Excuse me? At what point did Yahtzee actually describe the game as such?
I believe it's the part where he says the QTE's are the core, skin, seed and whole fucking apple tree of the game.

But that's because I payed attention.


I payed attention to that too. He never uses the words "a big quicktime event".

And sorry if I come off as rude but it seems that you're just using your own preconceived idea as an interpretation of Yahtzee's words. One could just as easily say that Yahtzee means that QTEs are a very essential part of the game. This would seem to be an especially valid interpretation in light of the fact that he also indicates that QTE's are not the only part of the game.
I wonder if this is how cults get started.