Zero Punctuation: Hitman: Absolution

Triaed

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"... several degrees better than a fish skeleton down the cock-hole"
My, did the Hour of Love from the Escapist Expo rub on you, Yahtzee? That is mighty praise!
 

Zombie_Moogle

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AMMO Kid said:
I'm glad you hold Blood Money as the best and Silent Assassin as the worst. The Hitman series is my favorite and I never got why everyone loved the second game so much.
I thought I disliked the Hitman games prior to watching this, but the only one I had played was Hitman 2, which I've now been informed was the worst in the series. Might give them another try
 

Punch You

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Anyone else think Yahtzee should review Playstation Allstars? I think we need another game like Brawl that will make Yahtzee go absoutely berserk. I don't think we've had one of those in a while.
 

Smolderin

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Yahtzee:
Several degrees better than a fish-skeleton down the cock-hole.
Wow! That is high praise coming from Yahtzee, good on the developers! Ha ha ha, I kid. You would be hard pressed to impress the almost un-impressible. I played the game myself and it is pretty decent....not great mind you but I think the developers are on to something. I would encourage them to continue on this path and learn from their mistakes. Anyways, once again a great vid from Yahtzee...bringing smiles to my face every Wednesday.
 

Imp_Emissary

Mages Rule, and Dragons Fly!
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Waaghpowa said:
Agent 47 actually has a band aid over his bar code because he attempts to cut it off, as shown in a cutscene.
That kind of makes the whole thing sound worse actually.

Anyway, good show Yahtzee.
Also, why are you so scared of theme park mascots? I remember from the review of Epic Mickey it had something to do with you going to Disney Land as a kid, right?
 

Doom972

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"Neither the worst or the best Hitman" Sums it up well. Since I like even the worst Hitman game (that's codename 47, IMO), I found it very enjoyable.

The Contracts mode was inspired by the Hitman community habit of posting fan-made contracts on forums and challenging other players to do them, and it's implemented quite well.

People complain about the new score system but it has been a part of every Hitman game since Silent Assassin. The only difference is that if you fucked something up, you know about it immediately and won't get disappointed when you find out you didn't get the score you were trying to get at the end of the level.

One thing that bugged me was the way that they implemented challenges and unlockables. I knew that they're there, but I didn't really feel their effect.

I'd say that it's the 3rd best Hitman game: Blood Money > Silent Assassin > Absolution > Contracts > Codename 47.
 

Waaghpowa

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Apr 13, 2010
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Imp Emissary said:
Waaghpowa said:
Agent 47 actually has a band aid over his bar code because he attempts to cut it off, as shown in a cutscene.
That kind of makes the whole thing sound worse actually.
Why? Because he made an attempt to carve a chunk of his flesh off? Sounds like a better way to hide an easily identifiable marking than simply putting a piece of tap over it.

But I suppose that simply having a band aid in the spot where the bar code was might raise suspicion from people who are looking for a man who is supposed to have a bar code on the back of his head.
 

Doom972

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Waaghpowa said:
Imp Emissary said:
Waaghpowa said:
Agent 47 actually has a band aid over his bar code because he attempts to cut it off, as shown in a cutscene.
That kind of makes the whole thing sound worse actually.
Why? Because he made an attempt to carve a chunk of his flesh off? Sounds like a better way to hide an easily identifiable marking than simply putting a piece of tap over it.

But I suppose that simply having a band aid in the spot where the bar code was might raise suspicion from people who are looking for a man who is supposed to have a bar code on the back of his head.
I never got why he couldn't just start using wigs. Ever since I played the first game, I wondered if they'll implement it in the next game.
 

Imp_Emissary

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Waaghpowa said:
Imp Emissary said:
Waaghpowa said:
Agent 47 actually has a band aid over his bar code because he attempts to cut it off, as shown in a cutscene.
That kind of makes the whole thing sound worse actually.
Why? Because he made an attempt to carve a chunk of his flesh off? Sounds like a better way to hide an easily identifiable marking than simply putting a piece of tap over it.

But I suppose that simply having a band aid in the spot where the bar code was might raise suspicion from people who are looking for a man who is supposed to have a bar code on the back of his head.
No. It's worse because that means he did a really crap job of cutting it of, seeing as you can still see it on either side of the band aid, or did that change?

If not I agree with the person saying; "Why can't he just put on a wig?". Because even if he did cut it off, I think he could still be soptted by the pretty big scar cutting it off would leave.
 

Furrama

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Yes Yahtzee. Listen to your inner ocelot. Burn them. Burn them to the ground!

Mwahahaha!
 

Waaghpowa

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Imp Emissary said:
If not I agree with the person saying; "Why can't he just put on a wig?". Because even if he did cut it off, I think he could still be soptted by the pretty big scar cutting it off would leave.
He wouldn't look like a bad ass if he wore a wig, imagine if he wore a Owen Wilson wig.
 

Preacher zer0

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I was bitterly dissapointed with Absolution... until I switched to Purist difficulty and restarted the entire game and now I'm enjoying it.

I do miss the agency support, collecting and choosing weapons for the jobs and a few other features.
Absolution is 100% story driven and some expected Hitman gameplay features have been bent and bowed (or just removed) to fit that narrative.

We've been "off the books" with 47 before but this time we get not a single crumb of help from anyone, including the designers.

It's enjoyable enough story-wise (if a little... boombastic) as I did kinda care about the narrative running through the series and it feels more like Hitman when you play on Purist but even so, once I've finished the story and uploaded the most brutally impossible contract I can possibly create, I'll still be going back to Blood Money whenever I get the urge to play a random Hitman mission.

In fact what Absolution has mostly done is make me decide to get BM for the PC (my old copy is ps2) and dig out Hitman 2 and Codename 47 and play the whole saga all over again.


Big Fat Edit: ...oh and dudes, he didn't mutilate the barcode to HIDE anything.

Symbolisim ffs!

He did it for himself.

To symbolically feel that he has literally severed his connection to the agency.
Like a cop handing in his badge... except when your badge is inked into your head, you may need to take extreme measures.

It's a moment designed to let us see a little more of how 47 views himself as a person.
It's a warrior making a gesture to himself, a promise to himself and Diana and the girl marked in the only real currency he knows... blood and pain.

This is another major reason why games are being dumbed down... it's not always the developers or publishers who are to blame. >.>
 

inkheart_artist

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It's always weird listening to Yahtzee's reviews of games I've never played and have no interest in either way. Especially when most of the core of the review is about comparing it to earlier iterations I didn't find interesting enough to try either. It's like you're missing half of the joke. Still, sounded like it was a competent review of the game, I guess.
 

Imp_Emissary

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Waaghpowa said:
Imp Emissary said:
If not I agree with the person saying; "Why can't he just put on a wig?". Because even if he did cut it off, I think he could still be soptted by the pretty big scar cutting it off would leave.
He wouldn't look like a bad ass if he wore a wig, imagine if he wore a Owen Wilson wig.


-_- You are sentenced to death by this gavel.
 

Al-Bundy-da-G

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Liked the review and Absolution, but is anyone else annoyed about the pop-out video frame/ad that there is apparently no escape from, except the back button?
 

Imp_Emissary

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Furrama said:
Yes Yahtzee. Listen to your inner ocelot. Burn them. Burn them to the ground!

Mwahahaha!
Ummm...The ocelot said to get therapy actually.....
 

Waaghpowa

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Imp Emissary said:
Waaghpowa said:
Imp Emissary said:
If not I agree with the person saying; "Why can't he just put on a wig?". Because even if he did cut it off, I think he could still be soptted by the pretty big scar cutting it off would leave.
He wouldn't look like a bad ass if he wore a wig, imagine if he wore a Owen Wilson wig.


-_- You are sentenced to death by this gavel.
Oh come on, Judge wigs make anyone look like a bad ass.
 

Sheo_Dagana

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I burst out laughing when he ripped on the scoring system. It's true... I really hate it as well. It would force me to want to reset every goddamn time I was spotted or did something 'wrong', not because I was trying to get challenges or anything, but because I would look up in the corner, see the negative score, and sigh heavily. It's worth noting, however, that if you knock a guy out and then hide his body, the negative score you get will be balanced out by the score received for hiding a body.

To play Devil's Advocate, I'll say that the 'US Average/World Average Score' posted at the beginning of each level was kind of nice. It gave you an idea of what you were in for and kind of encouraged me to explore a bit more before leaving a level. A post-game score wouldn't have done that. So I guess I'd say to post the averages in the beginning of the level, and keep the player's score secret until the end.

I agree that this is not really the best Hitman, nor is it the worst. Absolution has a surprising emphasis on stealth, one that shocked me just a bit. I kept thinking, "Soon these tutorials will end, then I'll get my sandbox." The Sandbox never really comes, at least not on the scale of anything in Blood Money.

I know, I know... part of me wants to like Absolution better because there is a more obvious attempt at telling a story than in the past games, and it certainly affords the player more choice than other modern games do, but Blood Money is just better. I suppose I would say that Absolution is a great game, but only an okay Hitman title.
 

Imp_Emissary

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Waaghpowa said:
Imp Emissary said:
Waaghpowa said:
Imp Emissary said:
If not I agree with the person saying; "Why can't he just put on a wig?". Because even if he did cut it off, I think he could still be soptted by the pretty big scar cutting it off would leave.
He wouldn't look like a bad ass if he wore a wig, imagine if he wore a Owen Wilson wig.


-_- You are sentenced to death by this gavel.
Oh come on, Judge wigs make anyone look like a bad ass.
Hmmm. Okay.
THe sentence is reduced to Agent 47 trying to beat you for one hour.


-_- It won't hurt but after about 15 minutes, you'll feel every silly!
 

Dead Seerius

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After weeks of hearing Yahtzee preach about how much he dislikes the 'spunkgargleweewee' genre, this review was pleasantly enjoyable.

Funny? Check.

Honest? Check.

Actually talks about and reviews main aspects of the game? Praise tha Lawd, check!