Zero Punctuation: iPhone Games

[Scrythe]

Oh Yahtzee, you dolt. You haven't learned by now that this is how we breathe on Mars?

 

[duchaked]

oh man, my iTouch is alright with some games support, but I haven't bothered buying anything on it

I did try Plants Versus Zombies on the iPad though...holyyy craaap!
so the mouse and keyboard PvZ...bleh hate using that, just the feel of a mouse and keyboard (I'm thinking...spreadsheets)
but the touch screen for the iPad I was like man...I'm like the plant god king fighting off these zombies hahaa

and yeah, awesome review and video...been a while since I burst out laughing so many times ^^

 

[ScotRotum]

I breath on mars because the dinos terraformed it, thanks space velociraptors.

 

[darkman80723]

Easy, the few hundred dollars Ive saved by not buying one act as this amazing filter that magically turns CO2 to Oxygen

 

[A Gent of Villainous Intent]

I just noticed that the first two posts of any Yahtzee topic get that poster put on probation.

 

[Calvar Draveir]

I expected AC: Brotherhood today, but this is cool too.

 

[Cyrax023]

angrybirds is over rated.

No it's not.

It's a simple entertaining game.

It sells itself as a simple entertaining game.

Folks call it a simple entertaining game.

IT's exactly rated for what it is.

It's place on the chart is by >sales<, and many of these sales aren't from bullshit preorders either.

cool u story mad bro ? .

 

[quhouv vhqwiufv qwiu]

I'm a bit of a newb, but can someone tell my why the first 2 users to post were put on probation?

 

[Gerkuman]

I don't understand why Yahtzee can say that Sonic Colours is a bad game not worth reviewing just based on the existence of cutscenes; avoiding the question of whether the gameplay is any good. I think he may have been using that as a way to avoid reviewing the game, but that's just me. I think I'm just dissapointed that I won't get to watch him getting angry, it's really entertaining.

(Edited for Accuracy)

 

[Brutuz]

I prefer Android to iFail.

 

[Xman490]

Nowadays, tortured cutscene bullshit is the only thing keeping new games "new." I saw the trailer for L.A. Noire (Rockstar's new GTA clone) that was 100% cutscene.
I kind of expected you to review Colors, since it's a fitting sequel to Uncoordinated (I mean Unleashed). The gameplay is also more 2D than Unsatisfied had by proportion, and there's more running into sudden death traps. I'm still expecting a Fable III review, unless there's too much sameitude for your attitude.

 

[happyschnapps]

I thought Yahtzee hated big corporation - what a sell out!

Go Android!

 

[kwagamon]

According to Yatzhee, not owning an iPhone means I must be living on Mars....

Awesome! I'm a mothafuckin' Martian! Suck it, iPhone owners! While you play about with your silly little touch-screen hand-held appliance, I'm building death rays! (I'm assuming that's what Martians do all day. I'll report back on my progress.)

 

[TheLoser22]

It's very easy, Ben. All you have to do is just practice holding your breath for really, really long periods of time. After a few strenuous months, maintaining yourself on a lifeless planet is child's play.

 

[The Youth Counselor]

I only liked 3 games on the iphone:

Face Fighter [http://www.appyfacefighter.com/main.html]

Ninja Ropes [http://www.sarkscape.com/games/iphone/ninja-ropes/]

Zen Bound [http://zenbound.com/]

In summary I am able to breath on Mars because I do not need an expensive fashion accessory that does a little bit of everything in a half assed way, including the function in it's name: phone. I had also never got along, with touch screens ever since I found out some high school gossip about me originated from him. Where I live, iPhones are also a mugging magnet.

PS: I would use my Uncle's Oki 900 [http://www.hackcanada.com/blackcrawl/cell/oki/oki900.html], if it still worked.

 

[Tiewing]

So this is what Yatzhee likes huh? iPhone games. This guy is becoming a little too indie for my taste. (Indie in reference to the style of the games, not the mega corporation that is apple of course.)While I do appreciate his outlook on mainstream video games and their various...issues, I can't help but think that he is a little too biased towards his own personal favorites of long ago. Yes these reviews are meant to be very jaded and most of all funny, but being that he has said more positive things about these iPhone games than he has any of the half way decent titles that have been released this year, I can't help but think that Yatzhee's idea of innovation is in fact over simplicity.

 

[emeraldrafael]

SNIP

How about the castlevania games on the consoles, sinc ei said games that werent on consoles.

 

[MR.Spartacus]

I packed it in a million inflated condoms. How else would you do it?
Iphone games though? Can't say I expected that. I'll definitely try none of those titles.

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

Also remember the Brisbane-based Krome studios that went out of business after you called their The Force Unleashed Wii port crappy? Yeah. I blame Yahtzee.

I mean it was a crap port, no denying, but since a positive Zero Punctuation review correlates directly to a 300%+ sale spike, a negative review correlates directly to a company going bankrupt...

 

[Steamtech]

Breathing on Mars actually isn't that hard, you can filter breath through your bum if it isn't filled with iBone.