Zero Punctuation: iPhone Games

Shjade

Chaos in Jeans
Feb 2, 2010
838
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Dr. Paine said:
In all seriousness, very funny review, first time I've actually done a real laugh at a ZP video for a while now.
Agreed. The ninja game description alone got me.
 

rezaDN1992

New member
Jan 27, 2010
42
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You can skip the cut-scenes in sonic colours. AT least i think. But he did the gameplay, so he could at least tell if that was good or not. And i hope he will review donkey kong, kirby and epic micky. Hopefully there will be a wii game he likes ( propebly not )
 

Raykuza

New member
Jul 1, 2009
255
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I'm pretty sure rooted Android phones have an app that lets you breathe on Mars...
 

mjc0961

YOU'RE a pie chart.
Nov 30, 2009
3,847
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Tell Apple to call me when the iPhone gets buttons. And stops being expensive as hell, along with being on AT&T which is also expensive as hell and quite shit in my area (by the way, Mars is great this time of year, none of that cold and snow bullshit). Or when the iPod Touch stops being expensive as hell and loses the cameras again.

Kinda sad to hear that Sonic Colors isn't going to get a full trashing. I guess I've just been burned by the little blue turd so many times that anytime someone hurts him back makes me smile.
 

tadaaaaa

New member
Nov 20, 2009
16
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I'm sad you weren't more critical. I mean, what the hell? There's more innovation in free Flash games than on iPhone. But you didn't have a bad word to say about any except Doodle God.

This is the first time I've felt Yahtzee is being retarded, and it's because he screwed up on telling them they suck.
 

Luke Cartner

New member
May 6, 2010
317
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The easiest way to breath on mars (or to put it better not have an iPhone) is to have the HTC Desire (or in fact any android phone) it's like an iPhone but you know actually worth having...
 

theultimateend

New member
Nov 1, 2007
3,621
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Cyrax023 said:
angrybirds is over rated.
No it's not.

It's a simple entertaining game.

It sells itself as a simple entertaining game.

Folks call it a simple entertaining game.

IT's exactly rated for what it is.

It's place on the chart is by >sales<, and many of these sales aren't from bullshit preorders either.
 

De Ronneman

New member
Dec 30, 2009
623
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Angry Birds is a big fat rip-off. It's almost a perfect copy of ArmorGames's Crush the Castle, even though it's not technically by them, I couldn't be bothered to look up who it was. Point is, Crush the Castle has been on PC for years.

Cut the rope is fun, but it's annoying at times. Finding out how exactly to get all stars is a challenge. It has issues, but it's pretty awesome.

Fruit Ninja is boring. It is. I don't like it. Maybe it's personal, but I don't like.

One thing I hate about iPhone games in general is the "holiday skins". The obligatory "omg, now all characters have pumpkins for heads for only 0.79!" Now Christmas is coming up, those start popping up too. Angry birds is particularly guilty of that, promising free Christmas to those who bought Halowe'en...

I do like the fact that it's so easy to access.

If you are looking for a cool game, check out Ash. It's a nice little RPG like we used to play on the NES.
 

ark123

New member
Feb 19, 2009
485
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All three games are on Android, and you don't need shiTunes to use your goddamn phone
 

Riddle78

New member
Jan 19, 2010
1,104
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Here's how you breathe on the surface of Mars:
-Go to your local space administration.
-Get trained as an astronaut
-Hop on the next manned flight to Mars
-Upon reaching Martian orbit,visit the surface via lander.
-Leave the lander while wearing a presurized spacesuit,with an onboard air tank.

THAT is how you breathe on Mars!
I'm just following Yahtzee's instructions. There isn't a single iPhone in my home.
 

MikoSquiz

New member
Nov 23, 2009
9
0
0
Wow. First Yahtzee makes a career out of ripping on every minor imperfection in any game he can find.. and when he finds a bunch of lazy half-arsed commercial knockoffs of tedious Flash games from two years ago, he can't praise them enough. What the hell?

He even went easy on the spectacularly atrocious Doodle God, possibly the worst thing to ever have been promoted as a 'game', never mind sold for actual money to paying customers.
 

Bewts

New member
Mar 8, 2010
11
0
0
I have an android as well, nexus one. I have angry birds but I pretty much just play emulators on it.
 

Danpascooch

Zombie Specialist
Apr 16, 2009
5,231
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I hope by "don't have an Iphone" he meant "Don't have a smartphone"

I just don't want to pay for Apple brand. Buy an Iphone and pretty soon I won't just have to start paying to charge it with the only compatible "iElectricity" but I'll be forced to pay for authentic apple brand "iAir" to breathe.

Android suits me much better.
 

Infernai

New member
Apr 14, 2009
2,605
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It's quite simple actually...i simply made a deal with some aliens from an unspecified galaxy to allow me to breath on any surface or in the vacuum of space...the only problem is, i can't actually get into space due to human limitations but hey, watcha gonna do?
 

Danpascooch

Zombie Specialist
Apr 16, 2009
5,231
0
0
De Ronneman said:
Angry Birds is a big fat rip-off. It's almost a perfect copy of ArmorGames's Crush the Castle, even though it's not technically by them, I couldn't be bothered to look up who it was. Point is, Crush the Castle has been on PC for years.

Cut the rope is fun, but it's annoying at times. Finding out how exactly to get all stars is a challenge. It has issues, but it's pretty awesome.

Fruit Ninja is boring. It is. I don't like it. Maybe it's personal, but I don't like.

One thing I hate about iPhone games in general is the "holiday skins". The obligatory "omg, now all characters have pumpkins for heads for only 0.79!" Now Christmas is coming up, those start popping up too. Angry birds is particularly guilty of that, promising free Christmas to those who bought Halowe'en...

I do like the fact that it's so easy to access.

If you are looking for a cool game, check out Ash. It's a nice little RPG like we used to play on the NES.
I remember thinking "Angry birds is REALLY popular, I need to check that out"

And then thinking, what the fuck is this? I've been playing this for years!

Seriously, the thing it ripped off is BETTER also, it's ironic, at least the original had different types of ammo and such.
 

cystemic

New member
Jan 14, 2009
251
0
0
dont have an iphone and dont want one, I'll stick with my android thank-you. the only game I enjoyed on my friends iphone was robot unicorn attack but you play it on facebook.
LMAO at cat+internet=youtube, thats definitely true
 

Porecomesis

New member
Jul 10, 2010
322
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0
tadaaaaa said:
I'm sad you weren't more critical. I mean, what the hell? There's more innovation in free Flash games than on iPhone. But you didn't have a bad word to say about any except Doodle God.

This is the first time I've felt Yahtzee is being retarded, and it's because he screwed up on telling them they suck.
Yahtzee is a game critic, not your personal comedian. If he humours you, it is just to keep your attention. Although why he doesn't clap again is beyond me.


I don't even have a mobile phone, much less an iPhone.