Zero Punctuation: Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days

Harlief

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Jul 8, 2009
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So... Q and Y.
I'm guessing the quake franchise accounts for at least two thirds of games starting with Q, and according to Cheat Code Central, the only games starting with Y are:
Yoda Stories
Ys Origin
Yu-Gi-Oh! Online
 

Impluse_101

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Jun 25, 2009
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Three words, Best Review Ever.

Thank you Ben Yahtzee Crawshaw for doing your job to dam near the FULLEST YOU'VE EVER DONE.
For you I burn a JRPG.
 

civver

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May 15, 2009
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So much hate. All the better to fuel Yahtzee's style of comedy. You've entertained and amused me again just like old times past. That last line is just perfect. The final nanoangstrom-sized gold lettering of "hate" on the proverbial circuit board.
 

Godfather912

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Aug 24, 2010
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This was hilarious but man you were REALLY angry Yahtzee! I mean REALLY, REALLY angry! It almost seemed like this was worse than Too Human by the sound of your voice... Still, I agree and again it was still awesomely funny! :D
 

Zanaxal

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Nov 14, 2007
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Yay now i don't have to think of buying it, thank you yahtzee for saving me the trouble of having to try it.

I did like the first one for the characters and plot(like a prison breakout, bankrobbery) but it got boring and pointless and almost chesthigh to the end (Colombia? Whole army want to kill u wtf?). But they do indeed seem to been thrown out the window in favor for a money making sell out scheme.
 

Jake the Snake

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Mar 25, 2009
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Wow, that was one of the funniest reviews you've ever done Yahtzee, have some Branston pickle as a reward. Maybe that'll take the sting out of how bad this game was.
 

DanHibiki

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Aug 5, 2009
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With the market so saturated by FPSs, TPSs, and SSSs, you'd think they would have worked out basic shit like controls and cameras by now.
 

Mangue Surfer

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May 29, 2010
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DanHibiki said:
With the market so saturated by FPSs, TPSs, and SSSs, you'd think they would have worked out basic shit like controls and cameras by now.
You don't get it. The game was designed to be unpleasant.
 

fullbleed

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Apr 30, 2008
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Surprised you didn't mention the level where Kane and Lynch are stripped naked and tortured and you play the rest of the level naked and bleeding.


Seriously what is that about?
 

ImprovizoR

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Dec 6, 2009
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This is probably the first ZP review that I agree with almost completely. I only played the demo and I immediately knew the entire game was gonna be shaky camera, gritty realism and mandatory cover system. Even the demo sucked for crying out loud. I did like the visuals however but I wish these guys would just stop making Kane and Lynch games, it obviously sucks and people don't give a shit about the game. Focus on the god damn Hitman series. It already has a huge fan base, bigger than this stupid series will ever have.

I'm looking forward to Mafia 2 review, hopefully next week.
 

eyefork

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Mar 17, 2010
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BlueInkAlchemist said:
And Yahtzee once again proves his clairvoyance, as the DNF business seems almost frighteningly prophetic. It's finally coming out and it's going to be another generic brown FPS. Hoo-ray.
So you've played the game already, huh? As for it being a prophecy, the game was either going to come out or it wasn't. 2 outcomes. I'd say it was a guess more than a prophecy.
 

Enigma6667

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Apr 3, 2010
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THANK YOU!! Just a big fat fucking thank you!!

I'm so glad there's someone else who thought that this game was putridly awful. I only played the demo, and it was one of the worst damn demos I've ever played, and the fact that you played the full game without gouging your eyes out amazes me.
 

ALPHATT

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Aug 15, 2009
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BlueInkAlchemist said:
Rolling on the floor, laughing. Not even going to abbreviate that, it's worth every word to say.

The final joke is priceless.

And Yahtzee once again proves his clairvoyance, as the DNF business seems almost frighteningly prophetic. It's finally coming out and it's going to be another generic brown FPS. Hoo-ray.
oh f you. I knew the escapist was notorious for asking practicly anyone to contribute but you take the cake. Oh, alright I may have been a little too harsh but fuck it I won't change my mind about you.
 

gphjr14

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Aug 20, 2010
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Played the first one on PC and played the demo for the 2nd, didn't really care for it. The movements are too sluggish and like Yahtzee stated the camera wobbles too much which at first it was neat but during gun fights its a annoying.
 

OrpheumZero

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Feb 25, 2010
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Hehehe. Had a feeling the review would go something like this. It's like the Nostalgia critic ripping on turds like Quest for Camelot. No point to the plot, unexplained instances, and a plot thinner than a cracker.

Definately wonder how he will treat Mafia II. Eh, probably with some favor.
 

Waif

MM - It tastes like Candy Corn.
Mar 20, 2010
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I was actually thinking about getting this game when it first came out. It seemed different and unique, and something that might actually be fun. Though now I see that it is indeed both different and unique, in the capacity that it's discovered a whole new level of horrible game that was until now previously undiscovered. Good thing I saw this before I spent the money on it. Though yeah, about that Duke Nukem Forever...

Anyway, thanks for the epic video Yahtzee ^~^!