Zero Punctuation: Killzone 3

[Darkhill]

It was made by the Dutch? Now it's just downright bizzare. Still, it's obvious it was made for the American market, perhaps the Dutch wrote it as satire, which was promptly lost on the American actors/localizers?

Anyway, the baddies were just too likeable, I felt sad having to kill them :'(

 

[SPARTANXIII]

The first minute of this is every British person's view of Killzone and America in general.

And I'm not even joking!

 

[Ashcrexl]

i notice he didnt mention the much more fun multiplayer section of the game. i am surprised!

 

[Carnagath]

Giggled like a 17 year old girl in a male strip club. It's lovely to see Yahtzee in such good shape just in time for some good old DA2 bashing. Eh? Ehhh?

 

[mjc0961]

I don't mind R1 being used for firing in PS3 games because Sony put the worst "triggers" ever on the Dualshock 3. But I didn't have to worry about it anyway because I got used to the Move and now it's awesome. I've never had the red light reflected on the screen, at least not during gameplay. I also guess that's why they made all the menus and loading screens red.

Anyway, thanks for not hoping on board the troll bandwagon and saying that everyone is multiplayer is playing marksman infiltrator medic whatever class is up next on the troll of the day calendar like so many stupid forum goers do, while also complaining that the non-silenced M82 is overpowered which doesn't make sense because the only class that gets one is the infiltrator, which means they should never get shot by one because everyone is playing marksman infiltrator medic shut up already, trolls!
Yes, successful trolls are obviously successful seeing as I want to choke them all, and that means they win, but oh well. I'll just kill them online with my SMG as a tactician and then they can go whine about how everyone is a tactician with an OP SMG because that's what killed them last.

Huh? Oh right, review. Yeah, that bit at the start about Americans begging for help was a bit silly this time, because as has been stated many times, we didn't make this game. Oh well. We've done enough of them for the joke to still be funny. I also liked the little censor bar at the sausage slicer machine that read "Could be wurst".

Also I'm surprised there weren't any comments about the stupid stealth section, where you go and hide in a dark cave to wait to ambush some enemies, which would be normal except that the ISA all have stupid blue lights on their uniforms. So you have a giant "HERE I AM" lit sign on you. It would be fine if your attempt at stealth failed because of them, but then the Helghast will look right into that cave at you, with your big blue lights turned on full blast, and not see you. The fuck? That whole part made no sense.

 

[TheMan2203]

I don't own a PS3 but i have played killzone 2 and i thought the controlliers were weird in that too, i spose its to make it stand out from certain other rivals that we wont mention here but it does make all the gunfights tie your thumbs and fingers in knots.
Also 100% agree that the cover system is truly pointless in these games.

 

[ksn0va]

Ow!

LOL, that actually does hurt.

 

[dogenzakaminion]

I played this game co-op with a friend over the weekend. While I'm SOOOOO glad that proper splitscreen co-op has made a return, why does the screen split have to be so awkward? Tons of the screen are just black, wy couldnt they extend the lenght of the viewpoint to take up more screen real estate? Silly.

Also, the cockney thing is so true. 1. It never made me feel like the Helghan were evil...just made me feel like we were fighting in a post apocalyptic east London and 2. Why isn't the main character cockney? That would actually be cool! And having a charasmatic sounding lead whould be a nice change of pace.

I'm gla Yahtzee mentioned the stupidity of the ISA too. Is it just me, or are the troop carier flying box thingys the worst designed piece of military hardware in fiction. I mean, what is benefitial about it?? Explain game, EXPLAIN!

 

[mjc0961]

HOORAY! Another tiresome brown n' gray cover based FPS with Nazis!

Killzone 3 is actually quite a bit colorful once you get out of the 2nd and 3rd levels. The first (just a tutorial) will show you some colors, then you go to brown and gray town for levels 2 and 3, then for level 4 you go to a jungle and colors come back.

 

[cjackson92]

Pretty accurate tbh. I still liked KZ3 though, worth he money. They could have done a better job though, which is disappointing.

 

[Seneschal]

So, could anyone here please explain just how the Killzone controls differ from the norm? I've only ever watched gameplay videos on youtube. I've heard it handles differently, more sluggishly and with more realistic "weight". Could anyone elaborate on just what that means? It sounds interesting, but I can't quite imagine what it means for the gameplay.

 

[Julian Daniel]

Just as I've always thought: Killzone is nothing more than a poor man's Halo.

Halo is already horrible enough it can't get worse.

Mr. Yahtzee, I blame your dislike of Move Control on your ignorance/stupidity, as it works better than Dualshock AFTER you spend more than 10 Minutes with it.

I play online only with Move, and I'm still better than moster other players even in my first matches.

 

[hecticpicnic]

Just as I've always thought: Killzone is nothing more than a poor man's Halo.

Even thought they have nothing to do with each other?

 

[ProtoChimp]

Wow this game looks shockingly shit, also my mate said it's only like 4 hours long. I despised killzone 2 so I won't be borrowing my mate's PS3 for this... maybe Infamous 2.

The only worthwhile thing I got from this video that wasn't obvious (no offence to yahtzee, it was a good episode I've just always hated killzone) is that that advert for the film "Faster" looks shit... no wait that was obvious. Never mind then.

 

[Sojoez]

In my humble opinion, this 'review' fits perfectly in the section of tvtropes.com called "Did Not Do the Research."!

 

[Mr Chris]

Have to say I had more issues with the 'stealth' section than anything else. Someone's already mentioned the glaringly bright blue lights all over the uniform but what about the "oh, if I crouch amongst 5 blades of Helgrass then I'm obviously invisible, even to Higs looking down at the grass from above, because for some reason standing in anything remotely organic seems to render enemies blind."

 

[KelsieKatt]

Yahtzee... Please learn your history and the overall standard for ALL Playstation consoles.

R1/L1 are for shooting, period. No self-respecting PS3 exclusive would ever map aiming/firing to R2/L2 and I for one wouldn't touch any game which did with a 50 foot pole.

If you want real triggers, go play an Xbox or Xbox 360 game, those flappy paddle things are a pathetic disgrace which doesn't even come close.

Until Sony can make a proper trigger, it's going to stay that way. However, then again, does it really need to? Why fix what isn't broken?

Any game that has R2/L2 for aiming is almost always a lazy port where the developers simply slapped Xbox 360 controls directly onto a PS3 controller.

R2/L2 is not the standard.

That said, if a minority of people want it, I don't see anything wrong with having a seperate option, as more customization options is always better.

----

As for the Killzone series itself, I personally found it to be an extremely generic pile of crap, but that's something else entirely.

 

[GuiltBlade]

Just as I've always thought: Killzone is nothing more than a poor man's Halo.

I don't think this is applicable when it cost more to make and more to buy than Halo.

The games actually don't seem that similar aside from the 1st person perspective and the fact that its in the future after space colonisation.

But still don't think I'd enjoy it. First problem is the idea that every planet is always united under a single regime. How long have we inhabited this world and how unified are we?
I guess that's a genre flaw though.

Next its villains all come from the school of logic which states "I do it because I'm evil". This just bores me to death.

And finally games all about shooting, shooting and even more shooting get dull after the first play through no matter what expensive add-ons it uses.

Also as a guy in England I can honestly say we would make terrible dictators, but excellent villains.
No two English people can agree on the condition of the weather, let alone how to rule the world.
But as we don't get guns to make it easy to let our frustration out, we get terribly good at being inventive.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

Oh look, Killzone 3 tried to rip off Halo Reach with Jetpacks and space combat... and wasn't as good! Well wasn't that unexpected. (the sarcasms so thick I can taste it.

 

[Metalmurphy]

Silly Yahtzee, everyone knows R1 is the superior button.