Zero Punctuation: Mass Effect

[Boricua_bob]

Is it really wrong for me to like JRPGs? Like Kingdom Hearts, Super Mario RPG, Final Fantasy 2,591 Part Deux?

 

[Sylocat]

I wonder if it is possible to make an RPG that Yahtzee could like. Play as a socially challenged misanthrope. Use special abilities to channel your rage into non-violent activities in order to avoid behavior that would get you thrown in prison. Obtain and equip over 300 witty remarks and devastating comebacks. Learn to summon your disgust, and ultimately choose not to save the world because, you know. . . screw 'em.

They've done that already. It's called Second Life.

 

[Heroic One]

You seemed awfully bored in this review.

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

don't be cruel about ctrl+alt+del, it is the best webcomic ever

Bu-ha-ha.

http://badwebcomics.blogspot.com/2007/06/ctrlaltdel.html

Sadly, I read reviews on GameFAQS, and McG's reviews, and that is still the most unprofessional review I have ever read.

 

[Agent_4]

I was really looking forward to Yahtzee bitching about the elevators

 

[herodotus]

Some PC reviews would be welcome now mate! Great review again, though. I enjoy RPG's (like to see you do "The Witcher") but I take this for the wildly funny entertainment it is.

 

[Quistnix]

The Bruce Campbell thing bothered me too. And Bean, that sounds like a game I would enjoy

 

[AnGeL.SLayer]

a reassuring cuddle lol

 

[The Tingler]

I DID enjoy the game, but having a game of this depth means there is an even greater amount of things for the developers to fuck up - which with so much to create they inevitably do.

You didn't miss much with the sidequests though Yahtzee. Basically they follow this pattern: 1. Go to planet on the other side of the galaxy to where you currently are
2. Land buggy
3. Struggle to drive it
4. Finally find the blip on the map that means the mission
5. Shoot people/Geth/people-Geth/other things in usually the same reused bunker
6. Collect your reward from someone on the Citadel who is at one of the points furthest away from the spaceport

 

[errlloyd]

I am fairly sure its pronounced caly-fy-gee-an and I would be worried if guys say that too you.

Lol nice review.

 

[hickwarrior]

I didn't know that bruce campbell bit thingy. But this is a good way to show to cater to the fans huh?

anyway, this one is very funny, especially the less conversationg song of elvis. Great job.

 

[Stomp224]

You can make love to Ashley Williams...?! Didn't Bruce write a book called 'Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way?' Maybe its a guide to bedding his Mass Effect persona

 

[Lord Scottish]

He shows Planescape Torment and the complains about dialogue? Although PS;T did have the best dialogue of any game.

Hard to believe Mass Effect comes to us from the same company that brought us Baldur's Gate and (indirectly) all of those other great Infinity engine games like Torment. Sigh...

 

[Projekt Spartan]

Well Yahtzee may have named him Titty Shepard, but i named my dude Dick Shepard. Pretty funny meaning if you think about it.

 

[jadias]

Yahtzee you beautiful bastard. This is spot on. I hated this game with all my heart, no matter how much I wanted to love it, despite loving RPGs (including most previous BioWare games). I thought I was the only one.

 

[YATA]

my friends have told me this game really sucks, this just furthurs my conviction. Plus i HATES X 3 KOTOR. Am I doomed to hate mass effect even though i've actually been looking forward to it?

 

[nightfish]

He shows Planescape Torment and the complains about dialogue? Although PS;T did have the best dialogue of any game.

probably because it was hilarious whereas ME dialogue is about as funny as those Christmas cracker jokes.

 

[thestor]

When Yahtzee said "And less skinny underdressed girls claiming to be men", he showed three JRPG characters, to the very right Tidus from FF10, anyne know who the other two girl-guys were?
In regards of dialogue, a lot of dialouge is bad. If the dialogue is good, it can make up for it to a certain degree, but the ebst dialogues squeeze a lot of meaning and fun into very little words, my fav (though not a rpg) in this regard is "Sacrifice".

 

[the_pearson_person]

Hehehehe!


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[stiver]

Hated KOTOR, but everyone was ejaculating over their controllers for this game and telling me to join in the circle jerk and get it. I figure with this review, and my disdain for the long drawn out Bioware RPG games that accomplishes nothing ,I can steer clear of it.

so thank you charismatic stallion for helping me avoid another shitty game.