Zero Punctuation: Mass Effect

[Jedted]

I LOVE the story of Mass Effect and think anyone who hates it is crazy, but i still found the review hilarious. Great job, Yatzee!

P.S. Why is it everyone is uncofortable with Ashley simply cause she's named after a dude in some cult horror move from the 80s(never seen so don't shoot me). What about the new Galactica where they made the Starbuck character female? It's basically the same thing except all this is an homage done by the writers of the game. It's not like your actually have sex with a dude or anything.

 

[Enigmatism]

I enjoyed Mass Effect, like some of the reviewers did. You missed a few facts, though: the textures take a while to load into a cutscene, you could have finished breakfast by the time the elevator reached its floor, and each scene is a recycling outside of the missions. Mass Effect is a good game, but there were a lot of flaws, a few you forgot to cover. PS: I did the same thing as you did, Yahtzee, other than naming him Titty.

 

[dungeonmaster]

I LOVE the story of Mass Effect and think anyone who hates it is crazy, but i still found the review hilarious. Great job, Yatzee!

P.S. Why is it everyone is uncofortable with Ashley simply cause she's named after a dude in some cult horror move from the 80s(never seen so don't shoot me). What about the new Galactica where they made the Starbuck character female? It's basically the same thing except all this is an homage done by the writers of the game. It's not like your actually have sex with a dude or anything.

WOW! how can anyone not have seen army of darkness?!
you should really go BUY it soon. but thats just cause I think that a character that only speaks in one liners is really funny lol.
and sorry I have to agree with yatzee but maybe its cause I only rented Mass Effect, and after 5 days I only had a handful of encounters.
well actually I stopped playing after getting to the first retarted vehicle section and having to track down monkeys, then after finding the monkey getting raped by like 27 aliens in the first combat I saw in like 10 hours.

 

[Kidsmoke]

Obligatory -

Dear Yahtzee,

You make my mass erect.

Sincerely,
Kidsmoke

 

[spudpuffin]

i just want to respond to yahtzee here
i just think that if you are blaming an rpg for having to much dialoge then that is like
a lactose intolerent person complaining about getting some milk and then finding out that it does bad things to them.

P.S. I truly enjoyed Mass Effect and the story of it... played it once just all the way through with none of the side quests and it didn't feel to fun. but then I played it getting all the dialoge and side quests on 2 different charectors (one nice and one an asshole)

 

[Lord_Seth]

Probably a bit too late to ask, but anyone happen to know exactly which Ctrl+Alt+Del strip that is?

 

[ElArabDeMagnifico]

After getting the PC version, it seems like half the problems (mainly the "Non-Dialogue") that he covered aren't there. Except the "too much dialogue" (which, you can skip through by being a dick to them or something) and "crappy Inventory screen" - the game is pretty awesome.

EDIT: Oh, and the codecs say that people have translators that turn what is being said to them into something familiar - so you being Mr. American, you hear american accents - which is why the elcor's voice is the one that sounds so "unique", their language doesn't involve voice, so the translator can only interperet the words, but it can't read body language and "smell" things.

 

[bandhelix]

I love this review and that fact that people correct you in so many ways. Can they not see / hear that you are a comedy LEG-END and that although we may all not agree with your points, at least we can all laugh our tits off?

First review i'm commenting on but this one had me laughing so hard i strained a muscle near my collar bone Yahtzee you completeand utter funny ass dick xD

 

[p1ne]

I never played this game on console, and interestingly enough, after going through it on the PC and then watching this review again I found that a lot of his original criticisms don't seem to apply. I never had trouble with retarded teammates that were hard to tell from enemies, the handling of the mako with mouse and keyboard is quite good, and the menu system was only confusing at first since their was no explicit tutorial for using it. Of course the game still has an unprecedented amount of text, but it's only there if you WANT to read it. You can get out of any conversation in ME anytime you want, and the game's main storyline will still be quite adequately explained as you play through it.

I really like Yahtzee's reviews a lot; I don't think there are ANY game journalists out there right now that can match him for being an excellent and consistently clever writer. But having now played ME, this review rings pretty false with me. Yeah, it was written for a different version of the game than what I played, but they can't be THAT disparate.

 

[Pancake-Bandit]

I love how Yahtzee bitches, and moan, and whines about not being seen as a real reviewer, when he never actually gets around to reviewing.

Dear Yahtzee: Reviewing entails addressing the things everyone might like or dislike, like the glaring technical problems that plague Mass Effect, instead of just focusing on what YOU like or dislike.

Still, I have to give you points for making fun of CTRL-ALT-DEL (which everyone on the internet should do, because it is a horrible abomination), and the Evil Dead reference, which made me cringe.

 

[Nadsat]

I love how Yahtzee bitches, and moan, and whines about not being seen as a real reviewer, when he never actually gets around to reviewing.

Dear Yahtzee: Reviewing entails addressing the things everyone might like or dislike, like the glaring technical problems that plague Mass Effect, instead of just focusing on what YOU like or dislike.

Still, I have to give you points for making fun of CTRL-ALT-DEL (which everyone on the internet should do, because it is a horrible abomination), and the Evil Dead reference, which made me cringe.

I think, my friend, you appear to have missed the point. Yahtzee's videos are designed, primarily for comedy. The reviewing thing is very much a secondary aspect. If he wanted to be seen as a respectable reviewer he would be writing for Gamespot, IGN or some other brown-nosed company

 

[Bin Face]

I never played this game on console, and interestingly enough, after going through it on the PC and then watching this review again I found that a lot of his original criticisms don't seem to apply. I never had trouble with retarded teammates that were hard to tell from enemies, the handling of the mako with mouse and keyboard is quite good, and the menu system was only confusing at first since their was no explicit tutorial for using it. Of course the game still has an unprecedented amount of text, but it's only there if you WANT to read it. You can get out of any conversation in ME anytime you want, and the game's main storyline will still be quite adequately explained as you play through it.

Digging up an old thread I know but, as this guy has mentioned nearly all the flaws seem to be corrected on the PC version. I rented it on 360, and its just my humble opinion, but this game is far more enjoyable on PC. (assuming you have the hardware)

The inventory system has been reworked so its not a chore to equip crap and free up space.
You can now give complete orders to seperate team mates.
You now have an improved quick inventory system that has bindings, (much like WoW) which is loads better for using on the go.
The mako driving is not a chore anymore with mouse and keyboard.
No more texture pop-ins.
Lower load times.
More saves.

If you ask me this game seems to be better suited for PC. But I totally understand shipping to the 360 first, as thats where the sales are at.

Basically kudos to Bioware and their partners in this port from the 360 to PC. They've improved and fixed the errors and annoyances the community had with the original version.

 

[JakobBloch]

What a misinformed hate speech.

Yeah I love Mass Effect so shot me, I am a fanboy

=)

 

[Chr_play]

Mass effeckt is a okey game, story is a little crapy. But i like the combat, and driving in this game is something you get used to. Great review tho

 

[li-ion]

I played Mass Effect on the PC and was tempted to call my character in a certain way but eventually didn't.

I don't think that the game has too much dialogue. I found Jade Empire worse in this respect. My complaints are that I spent too much time on the menu-screen because I was loaded with all kind of weapons, armor and mods all the time. Every time I got used to a certain gun another one popped up and even though you can just take the mods from one to the other, there are usually 5 million new mods in the inventory at that time. For about half the mods I didn't really get what they were for anyway and generally just took what increased damage (in general, not for certain types of enemies at a certain time of the year) and reduced heat. Another thing are the side missions which were not really deep and doing them felt awkward anyway, since I was somehow supposed to save the galaxy. So I wondered why nobody bothered my hanging around at some meaningless planet or similar looking space stations driving and shooting stuff.

I liked the combat, even though I didn't really bother about my squadmates who got in my way half of the times anyway. A friend of mine stopt playing after a while because he found it too shooter-like, while he likes the system of fallout 3. I feel the other way round and stopped playing fallout since I don't like the vats-turn-based-real-time-melange. The story also kept me interested enough to hunt down the bad guy in the end. It's nothing Oscar Wilde would be proud of, but it's better than most sci-fi 'literature' you find at the train station.

 

[Um...TE]

A beautiful game horribly mauled by repetitive gameplay elements, clunky combat and a UI designed to cause carpel tunnel. In my opinion, 2008 was a poor year for games. The best game I played in 2008 was re-playing The Witcher from 2007. Oh, and the Left 4 Dead demo (if you've played the demo, you've played the game).

 

[seandingley]

RE: Your comment about handsomeness...

My housemate and I did our best to create the ugliest guys possible just for plain amusement. My housemate then decided to make the ugliest girl possible... which was not only funny but terrifying!!

 

[ssgt splatter]

fat man on a unicycle lol

 

[SpartanTnT]

I never made the connection that Ashley had the same name as The Evil Dead's protagonist, that's pretty weird.

 

[DEATHHAXX]

Hilarious review especially that joke at the end but ctrl alt del isnt that bad a comic