Zero Punctuation: Mass Effect

[R Man]

"jst to put it this way, i love RPGS, i dont get how masseffect is one though. and its no bloody fun, having 2 pause 2 open ur effing combat wheel thingy every 2 seconds."

well if thats true about the combat wheel then thats pretty shit."

Its not true. I hardly ever bothered using the combat wheel. There is not any reason to use it more than once a battle and even then even once isn't usually nessesary.

This is actually really funny.

One of the things I've noticed about this game is that everyone loves to spout opinions on it, yet few actually spend enough time on anything higher than casual (very easy) difficulty beforehand to have any idea what they're talking about. If you don't use the combat wheel often you are doing something wrong. Yes, it pauses combat. You will be doing this all the time as was obviously intended. The most particularly useful and frequent combat pausing is done when fighting geth hoppers. You will not come close to surviving hardcore or insanity without using the wheel. Maybe veteran, but you'd still be making things harder on yourself just to play the game like it's Halo.

I don't use the combat wheel because I use tactics rather than jumping around trying to do a Master Chief impersonation. I hide behind cover and I time my shots well. When I'm outmatched I don't fret or panic, I fall back. I don't always use the wheel because I ensure that when I fight it is on my terms. Obviously it doesn't always work so I break out the combat wheel.

Also Hardcore and Insane Difficulty are called Hardcore and Insane for a reason. They are more difficult to play and when I do start playing a 'tougher' game then my use of the combat wheel goes up correspondingly. Not all gamers are hard core players though, and many (Especially with RPG's) just want to play for the story line. If you do play on harder difficulty then you have to expect to use special abilities, grenades and healing more often as that is the point of higher difficulties, to be more of a challenge.

 

[Ebers]

Suck my cock on this one Yahtzee, you prick.

For the last time, Yahtzee is not gay...didn't you see his Guitar Hero 3 review? Geez...he couldn't have been more convincing...

In the end, I guess it's a matter of opinion.

You're damn right it is. And while you are entitled to have your own opinion, there's no need to get all affronted when someone expresses their's, vomiting puerile hate-speech all over a forum...you knob gobbler.

[Insert random sycophantic comment aimed in Yahtzee's general direction]
Do a Christmas special...please...so Tiny Tim gets better.

 

[PurpleRain]

Funny, but seriously, learn about Japanese culture before you slame JRPGS. There is a reason why the guys are pretty, and there's nothing wrong with it.

No, there is something wrong with it. Firstly, I would like to play my game were the main character's sexuality wouldn't be questioned. Secondly, the games just suck the balls! They're the least fun thing I have ever done. I play the demo of Blue dragon that was on my Mass Effect 'extras' disk, and found that the game sucked... HARD! It was so boring. I want to play a game for fun because that's what they're all about. But no, FF and BD and al the rest of the JRPG's are all the same, click attack, then click on the enemy to attack, and maybe do a special move... were's the fun in that! I don't have to learn about Japanese culture to know what I don't like, and this is it!

 

[JaidenChan]

Ahaha I find it RATHER amusing how people whine when their games get SMASHED by Yahtzee...

I'll tell you losers who are all defensive about your games:
Don't be so stupid!

I love JRPGS, I love Zelda, I love a lot of games that Yahtzee reviews, and you know what I do?

I LAUGH WITH IT.

You have to learn not to be so stuck onto your games! Face it, most of the stuff Yahtzee reviews is true, and that's what makes it funny. So don't go around insulting him, hes just trying to provide entertaining reviews for you guys.

 

[asdaa]

Yeah, what the hell is with the huge swords in JRPGS? Nah, i probably know the reason. (enisp)

 

[J-Val]

I really have to disagree with Yatzhee this time round. Most of the time I find he hits the nail on the head, but this time 'round he just seems to have missed completely and hit a different nail.
For starters, I get the sense Yatzhee hasn't played the game. If he had, he would have found plenty of other things to criticise. Instead, he seems to have barely scratched the surface. For example, he claims you can either be a brown-haired man or woman, despite the fact you can change your hair colour. That doesn't sound like much, but the fact he missed something as obvious as that is troubling, and casts doubts on how thorough the rest of the review was.
Secondly, he seems to be complaining about things that just aren't true. Mass Effect's dialogue IS punchy and succinct, much more so than the other RPGs Yatzhee is apparently comparing it to. Conversations usually only take around about a minute, slightly longer for more the more epic matters, and responses and questions are usually only one line long, maybe slightly longer. If anything, conversations and character development are the centre of Mass Effect's fun.
And lastly, the combat. Me, I'm not a massive RPG fan. I was bored by Morrowind, lost interest in Deux Ex: IW, and cast aside KotOR. But that never happened with Mass Effect, and the fact it has such an enjoyable combat system must have at least supplemented this.
In Morrowind, combat was, to quote Gilbert Grape, dancing to no music. You get through it, but you don't feel any exhiliration. KotOR's turn-based/real-time combat was slightly better, but you didn't feel very connected. And even Deus Ex, with it's FPS combat, failed to impress. Mass Effect has a combat reminiscent of Gears of War, as is the enjoyment gained from it.
I definetely never had any trouble with my squad blocking my line of sight, and thats what irks me when Yatzhee claims that this happens all the time.
At any rate, I'm definetely not an RPG fan, but I was still drawn in by Mass Effect. The fact Yatzhee spends most of the review griping about trivial matters, and barely goes into detail with the game, reveals that he has barely played it. He may have completed it, but he hasn't played it.

 

[Ebers]

...but this time 'round he just seems to have missed completely and hit a different nail.

What does that even mean?

That doesn't sound like much, but the fact he missed something as obvious as that is troubling, and casts doubts on how thorough the rest of the review was.

I don't think he "missed" so much as didn't care to mention that you can change your character's hair style. And just how thorough can a roughly 5 minute review be on a game that can take upwards of 20 hours to complete (if you go all out with the side quests). Hell, there are conversations in Mass Effect that go on for longer than Yahtzee's review. I find it troubling how serious you're taking his review.

The fact Yatzhee spends most of the review griping about trivial matters, and barely goes into detail with the game, reveals that he has barely played it.

Or it reveals that he does not have the time, or possibly the patience, to go through every single detail of such an epic game. You can't seriously expect him to play through every last side quest, read every single word in the codex, and basically play this game until it has spun itself into a smoldering husk inside his 360's disc drive just for a short video.

He may have completed it, but he hasn't played it.

He's played enough of it for this review though. Or are you going to demand that he unlocks every achievement before he does another review for the Xbox?

 

[3JL]

...but this time 'round he just seems to have missed completely and hit a different nail.

What does that even mean?

That doesn't sound like much, but the fact he missed something as obvious as that is troubling, and casts doubts on how thorough the rest of the review was.

I don't think he "missed" so much as didn't care to mention that you can change your character's hair style. And just how thorough can a roughly 5 minute review be on a game that can take upwards of 20 hours to complete (if you go all out with the side quests). Hell, there are conversations in Mass Effect that go on for longer than Yahtzee's review. I find it troubling how serious you're taking his review.

The fact Yatzhee spends most of the review griping about trivial matters, and barely goes into detail with the game, reveals that he has barely played it.

Or it reveals that he does not have the time, or possibly the patience, to go through every single detail of such an epic game. You can't seriously expect him to play through every last side quest, read every single word in the codex, and basically play this game until it has spun itself into a smoldering husk inside his 360's disc drive just for a short video.

He may have completed it, but he hasn't played it.

He's played enough of it for this review though. Or are you going to demand that he unlocks every achievement before he does another review for the Xbox?

I agree.

 

[Corbineau]

Hmm, the male protagonists in Japanese RPGs often look like girls because it's one of the cultural standards in Japan. You may want to read on <a href=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bish%C5%8Dnen>Bishonen or something. It's not like we don't have cultural memes of our own, in movies, shows and games alike. I mean, what if some Japanese fellow asks you why are there always so many women in James Bond movies, and why most of them fall for the protagonist as soon as he enters the scene?

Huh?

I'll just tell them that Bond is a handsome seductive man.

So you're saying in Japan, girls often like the "homosexual" looking guys?

Also, in America.

 

[J-Val]

What does that even mean?

It means that he seems to have missed the point.

I don't think he "missed" so much as didn't care to mention that you can change your character's hair style. And just how thorough can a roughly 5 minute review be on a game that can take upwards of 20 hours to complete (if you go all out with the side quests). Hell, there are conversations in Mass Effect that go on for longer than Yahtzee's review. I find it troubling how serious you're taking his review.

He mentioned it in Tabula Rasa, so how is that any different? And a review can be thorough enough to actually touch on the core of the game. He spat out the plot in about ten seconds and then spent the rest of the review moaning about dialogue and combat and RPGs. And I wouldn't make the mistake of taking Yatzhee's reviews seriously, but when he just dismisses a game with no apparent reasoning it's annoying.

Or it reveals that he does not have the time, or possibly the patience, to go through every single detail of such an epic game. You can't seriously expect him to play through every last side quest, read every single word in the codex, and basically play this game until it has spun itself into a smoldering husk inside his 360's disc drive just for a short video.

I never demanded a complete comb of the game, but for him to at least give it the time he gives to his other reviews. This review gives the impression he played it in a day, wrote about it in five minutes, and took the rest of the week off. If he can play through Assassin's Creed, a repetitive, soul-draining game, I think he can spend a few more hours searching Mass Effect.

He's played enough of it for this review though. Or are you going to demand that he unlocks every achievement before he does another review for the Xbox?

Again, you're putting words in my mouth. Perhaps actually bothering to try and get the to grips with it would be nice.

 

[hickwarrior]

Val, perhaps bothering to listen to the ignorant hate speech part? He did say it is an ignorant hate speech. So why do you take it seriously then?

 

[Ebers]

And a review can be thorough enough to actually touch on the core of the game. He spat out the plot in about ten seconds and then spent the rest of the review moaning about dialogue and combat and RPGs. And I wouldn't make the mistake of taking Yatzhee's reviews seriously, but when he just dismisses a game with no apparent reasoning it's annoying.

He did the plot, combat, driving, talking, character creation, inventoy system and gear customisation. If that's not touching the core of the game, I'm not sure what is. Yes, he may not have spend much time on any of it, but there's so much in this game that he couldn't have gone into detail on any of it without the review taking upwards of 10 minutes, even if he talked at his usual head-exploding speed.

He didn't dismiss the game, he just didn't like it as much as you. That much is obvious. And when he doesn't like a game, he'll start with the ignorant hate speech. That much is also obvious. Taking moments from his own experience of the game, then exaggerating them for comedy is what Yahtzee does. If you want a full-blown in depth review, go read Edge or something. Detail is not what Yahtzee does in his video reviews. That may not have worked for you in this particular case, but that's just too bad.

I never demanded a complete comb of the game, but for him to at least give it the time he gives to his other reviews.

He barely mentioned the multiplayer parts of Halo 3, yet he'd obviously played enough of the rest of the game to do a review. As far as Mass Effect goes, if he'd got the Paramour achievement, then he'd have experienced enough of the core elements of the game to comment on them. And he had, so he did.

 

[FoX_HunteR]

He doesn't need to play the full games,
would u buy a game you hate and play it all the way through?
of course not,
he played it enough to write his review and thats all thats needed.
Sure, he might play some games longer than others,
but its most likely because its a better game, and he enjoys playing it, even if just a little.

Besides, how is it hurting you?
Does it really kill you that much to know he only played Mass Effect for a day?
If he even did play if for that long in total.

Also, I'm sure hes got other things to do with his week,
friends, family and ect. ect.

I personally found that the review was what i was thinking,
I couldn't sit through the entire game either,
but thats because i have ADD and need to do something more hands on,
like work on my car or wank,
cause I'm sure thats what came to mind, right?

 

[VeryOblivious]

He spat out the plot in about ten seconds

Would you send me a PM with the plot? I don't care how long it results to be, according to you.

 

[toastiest]

It's very much like how the Mass Effect lovers are so adamant to make sure that you know how great the game is, there are also those of you who are so adamant about how Yahtzee's review of it was perfect and couldn't have been improved by much. Two extremes.

The game isnt perfect and I am sure some people would not enjoy playing it; however, Yahtzee's review was pretty rubbish in my opinion.

I've watched most of his reviews and none of them felt as empty as the one he's posted on Mass Effects. Fair enough he may not enjoy RPG games or this game in particular but if he is going to make a review on it, bother to go and do just a few side quests (to see that they are repetitive) and delve deeper into the game or just don't bother creating a review at all (could have saved himself a lot of trouble by not having to play the game at least).

I'm only just a girlfriend of a gamer looking for some tips on Mass Effects and came across this thread to find, in my opinion, J-Val making a pretty rational statement and the rest of you shooting him down with childish "Ohh so you want him to get EVERY achievement then huh yeah?? hmm?" so thought I'd like to say that what J-Val said wasnt as ridiculous as what the rest of you are making out.

I am a huge fan of Zero Punctuation reviews and I know and love some of the games he reviews and I've always found them amusing and truthful even if it is saying how crap some of the elements are. This did not ring true for the Mass Effect review.
Yahtzee influences a lot of people with his reviews and I don't believe that he gave the game the few bonuses it deserves as briefly mentioned by J-Val.
What he did include was funny punchlines about the surface of the game such as customisable characters, American accents and the crappy sex scene. He didn't mention things like the different solar systems and whether he thought they were any good, the often confusing multistorey buildings, your ally stating that the coast is clear when there is blatantly still enemies about, and the ones mentioned by EvilDuck on 1st page were all very true like the good/evil element wasn't even mentioned.

Your allies really do not get in your way that much considering the amount of time you battle with them and around different maps. As soon as they get in your line of fire they make sure to move and their health is not really affected by much.
As for getting confused who's enemy and who's not... if you can differentiate between red (enemy) and blue (your team), you shouldn't have a problem.
To have gotten these major points wrong, is a little troubling.

Everyone complains about the Mako truck that you have to drive around, but a few trips around a few planets, I could control that thing with my eyes closed because of the way that it generally stays going in the direction that you point it even though it's rocky, it doesn't matter if you did fall off the side of a mountain (which is actually quite fun trying to land it straight with the boosters), and it (nearly) always lands on its feet. It fails mainly because you were stupid enough to try to climb mountains too steep and slippery, which you learn not to. What I didn't like was that it was slow.

The dialog can seem long if you are tired, but you can skip through it as he says and often it is only long because you are asking for it. You tend to have the option to say goodbye fairly quickly.

Must say "mass erect" part was amusing. This might seem really sad but the fun part about getting the blue alien to ride my purple dildo wasn't getting to see her bare arse at the end of it but the accomplishment of getting her to want to stroke my visor helmet with my little dialog choices.

Anyhoo, seeing as we watched his review before playing, we were influenced and made our character named "Ghey Shephard"

 

[SilentScope001]

Would anyone also send me a PM with the plot of Mass Effect? I'd be interested in reading that plot.

EDIT: Never mind. I think I got it from Wikipedia. The irony is this: What if you don't LIKE the story or the depth? If so, then ME isn't really good at all.

 

[Ydna]

Just stop taking it so seriously people. It's not a personal assault on folks that enjoy the game. It's just a review of an RPG game, by somebody that doesn't like RPG games. Sueding won't be happenning here!

I love a good percentage of the games Yahtzee bashes. I find him to be outright wrong on many occasions (in addition to bending the perspective on even his own opinions) but that's not the point at all. It's comedic regardless, that is unless you take it personally, as an attack on everything you love.

In this particular case he even disclaims at the end that the items he disliked are things RPG fans love. That apparently wasn't enough I suppose (?)

 

[AngryCola]

"jst to put it this way, i love RPGS, i dont get how masseffect is one though. and its no bloody fun, having 2 pause 2 open ur effing combat wheel thingy every 2 seconds."

well if thats true about the combat wheel then thats pretty shit."

Its not true. I hardly ever bothered using the combat wheel. There is not any reason to use it more than once a battle and even then even once isn't usually nessesary.

This is actually really funny.

One of the things I've noticed about this game is that everyone loves to spout opinions on it, yet few actually spend enough time on anything higher than casual (very easy) difficulty beforehand to have any idea what they're talking about. If you don't use the combat wheel often you are doing something wrong. Yes, it pauses combat. You will be doing this all the time as was obviously intended. The most particularly useful and frequent combat pausing is done when fighting geth hoppers. You will not come close to surviving hardcore or insanity without using the wheel. Maybe veteran, but you'd still be making things harder on yourself just to play the game like it's Halo.

I don't use the combat wheel because I use tactics

That doesn't make much sense.

Regardless, if you only want to play on casual and laugh as your enemies explode when you spit at them, that's completely fine. Mass Effect's default difficulty is kind of a joke, and I have a feeling 'veteran' was normal/default, while 'casual' was 'easy' for a long time during development. This would also explain there being no extra achievements for veteran. Then towards the end some genius, possibly the same person who designed the inventory system, decided it was all too different for people and they had to make it easier by default.

Anyway, talking about tactics as they relate to casual is pointless to begin with. The player has already decided they would rather things be a cake walk. There really is no need for strategy in casual... period.

So yes, if you only play on easy you don't need the combat wheel I guess. You will, however, entirely miss the meat of the gameplay. So just flat out suggesting to people that they never need to use it is inaccurate at best, with more of a tilt towards bad advice.

 

[VeryOblivious]

Would anyone also send me a PM with the plot of Mass Effect? I'd be interested in reading that plot.

EDIT: Never mind. I think I got it from Wikipedia. The irony is this: What if you don't LIKE the story or the depth? If so, then ME isn't really good at all.

I just finished reading, although I still want to read it from J-val.