Zero Punctuation: Metal Gear Solid 4

[Aries_Split]

Also, pro tip, Aries Split, Metal Gear Solid does NOT have "great storylines", what it does have is crap that you would see on a "Sci Fi Channel Original Movie". Come on, An evil cloned brother living vicariously through possession of a severed arm? Oh yeah, that's best seller material alright.

Face it, the plot devices and general story conventions of MGS suck, and you know it

If you actually played metal gear solid 3, you would know that ocelot is the son of the sorrow, who has the ability to communicate with the dead. Ocelot unknowingly inherited that ability, and THAT is how liquid is controlling him. Again, if you play through the first games ,you'd know this.

Also I = MGS Geek
And what the hell qualifies you to give pro tips?

 

[Drbog]

I'm glad somone finally agreed with me! I like the story but they really dumbed the rest of it down! My biggest gripe is the invisable-anator which make you totally undetectable..

 

[Susan Arendt]

Yahtzee is even banning the less erratic commenters... someone's getting very conscious of how they are received - even by incompetent faggots. [Ban me, Yahtzee!]

Yahtzee doesn't moderate these threads, we do.

 

[cutekittenkyti]

O_O myoipiczeal where are you?
I just watched thise reveiw three and half hours after it came out, and I knew that you would have finished a transript BUT THERE ISN'T ONE!
GASP *faint*

well today, I don't feel like writing one, meh...

but I'm off to go play with the kittes ~Laaaaaaaaaa<3~

(and they are real kitties not imaginary ;p)

 

[Isaac Dodgson]

If you actually played metal gear solid 3, you would know that ocelot is the son of the sorrow, who has the ability to communicate with the dead. Ocelot unknowingly inherited that ability, and THAT is how liquid is controlling him. Again, if you play through the first games ,you'd know this.

Also I = MGS Geek

Good for you...sniveling fanboy

The review is hardly meant to be taken as an end all final say "This is the truth for me and everyone" opinion review. It's supposed to be entertaining, witty, and provide a few laughs as well as some insights onto the games mechanics. He always blows things far out of proportion, points out the tiniest but most glaring of flaws, and will tear them apart until theirs nothing left but you, and a depressingly large size of other fan boys in tears and disbelief that Yahtzee could possibly tear apart something that you all old more dear then the bloody air you breath, to which you then denounce Yhatzee and all others who agree with him and see us as "pants on head retarded" to even consider bashing these so called glorious and wonderful games.

Yes I'm over generalizing here, and yes you are by far not as bad as I'm making you out to be, but you are, good sir, pretty damn close. Get off the net, all of you and go back to your wonderful MGS or other games and enjoy them, while we enjoy other things and move on with our damnable lives.

[/troll]

 

[Aries_Split]

Personally I see you as trying to start a flame war. I never actually attacked you, and assumed we were having a mature discussion, but I see I was wrong. In any case, you can go back under your bridge. [/anti-troll]

 

[shadow skill]

Yahtzee it would have helped if you went into the practice mode that is in the game or checked the options. I wonder why people expect a game with a four in the title to explain all the stuff that went on in the prior games? I mean really just seems kinda stupid to me. Oh and Yahtze you should make it clear that you played the game on easy if that is in fact what you did, because I played the game on normal and the tranquilizer gun only drops people in one hit if you get a head shot. So I wouldn't call it an over powered weapon.

Frankly it would be like me saying Ninja Gaiden 2 is easy after only playing on Path of the Acolyte.

Oh and without Spoiling Triffid and Aries you are both wrong. (Though you are correct Aries that Ocelot is the son of The Sorrow.)

 

[Sennz0r]

I hope he'll never talk trash about my favorite games of all time

..although, those are horribly out of date..

 

[Spleener]

My one major disagreement on him is his comment about the 10 million stealth tricks that you'll never have to use. I mean, every MGS game adds more tricks that you can go the entire game without using, yes, but I think I prefer there being 10 million different tricks that you don't have to use 90% of to a more Metroid/Zelda style thing of "hey, here's a new item/technique- and coincidentally, here's a problem where using this new item/technique is the only viable solution!" It makes me feel like I'm trying to find out the best way to get through a situation rather than that I'm trying to figure out how the developers intended me to get through it.

His basic point of that you need to be a fan of MGS1-3 to like MGS4 is spot-on, though. It still has the same convoluted story, ridiculous cutscene:gameplay ratio, cheesy gameplay elements (cardboard box), and what-not as the series always has, it just does it all better than the first three. If you liked 1-3, you'll like 4 even more. If you hated them, 4 won't convert you.

 

[TerraMGP]

Did the man who wrote the Chzo series REALLY just complain about overly elaborate and redundant story? Yatzee, please stop putting out the boring attack reviews and get back to how you used to do it. We know who you really are from your games and this attitude is a real turn off.

 

[Isaac Dodgson]

...No, not really trying to start a flame war...just aggravated at something else, my apologies

 

[Flamewall]

Okay, is anyone else picking this up. First Yahtzee does his legendary "run-over-the-mill"-review on Halo 3. Then he hammers down SSBB and now he shoots down MGS4. Is anyone seeing a pattern that Yahtzee has a habit of trying to sequantially piss off every single game console owner on the planet. Halo 3 wasn't exelent, but it was still good, SSBB probably isn't even half as bad as the review it was given and i don't believe that a game that multiplied the sales of PS3s eight times over can honestly be this bad.
I don't know anyone that owns a PS3 and SSBB hasn't come out yet in the Europe (on friday it will and I'm sure as hell gonna buy it) but I just feel like Yahtzee is forcing bad reviews only because it wouldn't be good for the rating if he praised games (even the good ones) and neither would it be good if reviewed only bad games. (Though I still read these articles and some of them are really good I smiled a little when I saw this http://www.alexa.com/data/details/traffic_details/escapistmagazine.com and compared it to the day of the SSBB review.)

 

[TerraMGP]

When I heard that Yahtzee was reviewing Metal Gear Solid 4 I literally shouted for joy. I had hoped he would tear into Hideo Kojima's god awful writing, and I wasn't disappointed.

Kojima is one of those writers who likes to latch on to one theme and hump it to death for 16 hours. That's why you have bosses who talk your ear off before (and after) every fight and your constantly bombarded with codec calls from your support team waxing poetic about their motivations and tragic pasts. "I'm only on a mission to stop a nuclear war, but what the hell, go ahead and tell me about the 15 most tragic moments of your life and what it means to be a soldier."

Before the fanboys start (or rather continue) shouting about how all of the cutscenes and codec calls are skippable, let me point out that obviously this isn't the game's intent. You're supposed to pay attention to every damn thing that's said or else Kojima wouldn't have included it. The games are just bogged down with boring repetitive plot. It's a soap opera with guns.

I like the Metal Gear Solid games, but even I've grown tired of the bad writing and endless dialog.

If you actually played metal gear solid 3, you would know that ocelot is the son of the sorrow, who has the ability to communicate with the dead. Ocelot unknowingly inherited that ability, and THAT is how liquid is controlling him. Again, if you play through the first games ,you'd know this.

Oh yes, that makes perfect sense. Ocelot is possessed by Liquid's ghost because his dad could communicate with the dead! See, without knowing that the whole thing seems silly.

Its not bad writing, Its just that its not for impatient people. This is why more people need to be forced to tabletop game. Frankly I think Hideo does a very good job, and I still think Yatzee is being a bit hypocritical having played HIS games.

and yes I agree, he is spitting out bad reviews for their own sake, someone needs to tlak to him.

 

[Isaac Dodgson]

Okay, is anyone else picking this up. First Yahtzee does his legendary "run-over-the-mill"-review on Halo 3. Then he hammers down SSBB and now he shoots down MGS4. Is anyone seeing a pattern that Yahtzee has a habit of trying to sequantially piss off every single game console owner on the planet. Halo 3 wasn't exelent, but it was still good, SSBB probably isn't even half as bad as the review it was given and i don't believe that a game that multiplied the sales of PS3s eight times over can honestly be this bad.
I don't know anyone that owns a PS3 and SSBB hasn't come out yet in the Europe (on friday it will and I'm sure as hell gonna buy it) but I just feel like Yahtzee is forcing bad reviews only because it wouldn't be good for the rating if he praised games (even the good ones) and neither would it be good if reviewed only bad games. (Though I still read these articles and some of them are really good I smiled a little when I saw this http://www.alexa.com/data/details/traffic_details/escapistmagazine.com and compared it to the day of the SSBB review.)

Bingo... It's his shtick to rip apart decent, or big name games. That's the appeal. Some take it far to seriously (as I just pointed out, despite being at Aries_Splits dispense), while others understand this and watch it for a good laugh.

 

[TerraMGP]

It was appealing when he was honest and just didn't give a damn what people thought. This trying to be indy for the sake of being indy crap is newer, and it makes him as bad as any of the idiots on G4

 

[Alphavillain]

Mr. Croshaw must be some masochist to slag MGS4, the most wanked-over franchise in video game history. Broadly I agree with what he says: I don't think I'll finish my second play-through of the game, it's just not a game that demands the attention to it from a player that Kojima thinks.

 

[Aries_Split]

Its not bad writing, Its just that its not for impatient people. This is why more people need to be forced to tabletop game. Frankly I think Hideo does a very good job, and I still think Yatzee is being a bit hypocritical having played HIS games.

and yes I agree, he is spitting out bad reviews for their own sake, someone needs to tlak to him.

Patience has nothing to do with why Metal Gear's writing is bad. A GOOD writer can take all of Kojima's plot points and deliver them in a compelling way in not even half the time. Not that any good writer would want to, some of those plots are just idiotic. Have you even played Metal Gear 2? Not Metal Gear Solid 2 (although that's an argument in itself), Metal Gear 2 on the MSX. If you've played it and still swear by Kojima's writing, I have five words for you: "Ninja from NASA Special Forces."

I still remember that....

 

[TheLaughingMan9]

Found it hillarious, saw mostly valid points, but I still like the game for what its worth.

 

[TerraMGP]

First off I know the story and he was building to something, second its not bad writing to draw points out. Some people actually PREFER that. I for one would rather have the detail as opposed to being rushed though everything. Its patience more than anything, and the writings not bad it just needed all of the games to come togeather. Its like a book, which is why I play many games is to get the story.

 

[LewsTherin]

First of all, THIS IS ONLY A REVIEW

Shockingly enough, Yahtzee is NOT the infallible source of gaming information upon which the world turns.

If you don't agree with the review, disregard it.
If you don't like with Yahtzee's satirical method of reviewing, disregard it.
It's his style, the way he does his job, as Flamewall has pointed out

This is only what HE thought of the game, not the final word ever to be said shut the book and solder the cover shut law.

Secondly, its is a VIDEOGAME
Total realism isn't necessary, and if someone likes the storyline and you don't, please be kind enough to NOT start a flamewar over it.

Seriously....