Zero Punctuation: Nintendo 3DS

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Unhappy Crow

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Mar 14, 2010
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Good thing I'm waiting to get a 3DS by Xmas this year. That way, we'll get some good games in store and hear some of the upcoming games later this year and next from E3 2011.

And I want to add this: Why the hell is half the people here raving for Portal 2? I don't have the game(yet), but I would rather be anxious to play it more than wait for Yahtzee to talk about it.
 

WaderiAAA

Derp Master
Aug 11, 2009
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Sorry, won't join you on your planet. I've gotten used to putting up with all the shit (most of which at least isn't bundled with the console) and ocassional evilness from Nintendo as long as the console will have a Mario game, a Mario Kart game and a Zelda game (and Paper Mario and Kid Icarus doesn't hurt either).
 

vviki

Lord of Midnless DPS
Mar 17, 2009
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Great one Yahtzee! Bash that 3D with all your might and I hope it will disappear soon! I saw the news for 2D glasses and as soon as those hit the shelves in Germany, I'm getting a pair.

Also, you rule in creating avatar names. I almost died laughing at SENOR KOQUONFAES! I'm so naming myself that way in some game :D
 

Dana22

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Sep 10, 2008
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"The thing about 3D is that I stopped noticing it until it fucks"

Well that only means it works as intended, right ?
 

lord.jeff

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Oct 27, 2010
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I did try the 3DS in a best buy it is crap, chances are it'll go the way of the DSi.

That being said I am still a huge fan of Nintendo because despite their many cock ups they still have some very good titles and are a major force in pushing gaming forward.
 

Shameless

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Jun 28, 2010
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NightmareTaco said:
Thrust said:
Assassin Xaero said:
Every time they have a success it is followed by a failure? Which was the last failure? I didn't think the Gamecube did that bad, especially with Metroid Prime.
It was the least selling Nintendo console, which is probably the reason that made Nintendo change it's direction towards casual players.
I guess Virtual Boy didn't make it onto your list of Nintendo consoles? Lol.

I think the 3DS will be a good purchase... next year. :) For now I'm excited for their silly ports.
I was talking about about home consoles, but yet again I should have been more clear =p
 

CopperBoom

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Nov 11, 2009
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SckizoBoy said:
Surprised he didn't make comments to the effect of 'literal head-fuck'.

Less than an hour on 3DS = splitting headache... not impressed.
I worked with the 3DS using it daily for nearly a year and I never got headaches so it just depends on the person.

Games used to be *WAY* more 3D, so consider yourself protected.
 

Moriarty70

Canucklehead
Dec 24, 2008
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I don't know, if 3D could slap me in the face, I'm afraid of what it'll slap me with. For those not aware, the earliest adoptors of new tech is usually the porn industry.
 

scw55

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Nov 18, 2009
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I tried a 3DS in a shop and I felt travel sick. I have normal vision.
I won't be playing the DS in 3 dimentions when I eventually get one for Pokemon.

It feels like you're looking at a magic eye.
 

DanDeFool

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Aug 19, 2009
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And this whole 3DS thing is triple-y lame because now Mega Man Legends 3 is going to be cancelled (probably) due to the fact that nobody wants to buy this gimmicky piece of crap.

For my part, Nintendo has been sliding steadily downhill ever since they decided to release the N64 with a cartridge slot instead of a CD-ROM drive.
 

TheRealCJ

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Mar 28, 2009
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Enlong said:
OhJohnNo said:
Portal 2 should be an interesting review - "Hey! Let's see how much I can praise this game without losing my fanbase!"
Only if the game was good enough to overcome the deadly sin of being a sequel.
Uh, yeah, except he's said that a good chunk of his favorite games are sequels; Half-Life 2, Thief 2, Silent Hill 2...
 

Stammer

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Apr 16, 2008
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I like the 3DS. I'm probably going to buy one at some point before the next handheld generation. But I totally agree with Yahtzee on at least one thing:

Having a platform that requires motion controls and the user to remain completely motionless simultaneously is a really, really poor design choice! lol

(Also this episode was hilarious. I actually laughed several times out loud, particularly when he started talking about running into groups of schoolchildren.)
 

KDR_11k

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Feb 10, 2009
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Yahtzee always needs at least two weeks after a game's release to create a review, one week for playing, one for creating the video. No surprise then that Portal 2 didn't get reviewed this week.

I agree that the launch lineup is lame. My game of choice was Samurai Warriors Chronicles which reviewers appear to be allergic to. I like it but since Yahtzee is a reviewer it would likely cause internal bleeding for him.
 

PixelKing

Moderately confused.
Sep 4, 2009
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Am I the only one who got the old zp reference in his little paragraph during the credits?
 

Xander_VJ

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Nov 8, 2007
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C14N said:
Good enough review but I can never understand Yahtzee's insistence that all the Zelda games are the same. The major home console releases change greatly from one game to the next, especially when put beside a series like Call of Duty or even GTA.

Ocarina was the first 3D one.

Majora's Mask had the "masks" thing and the "3 days" thing added so much to the depth of the game, especially for things like side quests. It wasn't just a time limit on dungeons like I had expected.

Wind Waker had a completely different art direction and overworld (lots of tiny islands with a few big ones instead of a field with a few towns). Once again, it totally changed the way of doing sidequests compared to MM or OoT.

An Twilight Princess, while looking a bit like OoT again in terms of art direction was still very much its own game. It was probably the most like a bigger OoT but there were still the wolf/twilight sections to add something new.

Even the plot changes greatly between the games when you look at it closer than "kid saves world, there's a princess in there somewher". I think Yahtzee just gets annoyed because the standard weapons (sword, bow, boomerang and bombs) show up in every one but even then, every game has introduced a few weapons/items of its own.
Not only the major console games, but almost every single entry in the franchise.

Yahtzee hatred for the "Zelda" series seems to come from somewhere else, because when you really look the games, that kind of claims he does about the franchise are pretty irrational.

Maybe because its a popular AND respected series?

When something you dislike is praised like that, you tend to hate it even more and your mind over exaggerates the flaws it sees.
 

DSQ

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Jun 30, 2009
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Assassin Xaero said:
Every time they have a success it is followed by a failure? Which was the last failure? I didn't think the Gamecube did that bad, especially with Metroid Prime.
Did we buy the same Gamecube?

But your kinda right. The gamecube only bad but wasn't awful until you compared it to how much fun you were haing on the ps2.

As for the 3DS, i think of it as an upgrade for the ds. I'm really only buying it because i want Pheonix vs Layton and the rest the the new games i would have been getting on the DS if it wasn't for the 3DS.
 

Aptspire

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Mar 13, 2008
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Heh, I also thought PilotWings was more of a bundle game :p
and also, hurray! Portal 2 review next week 8D