Zero Punctuation: Oblivion
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
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Finally theres someone that states the fact that Oblivion does in fact not shit diamonds.
I Think it was okay, but it was far from perfect.
The fighting system was nice, the leveling and stats system was simple enough, and the graphics where pretty as long as they weren't someones face.
Stuff I did not like about it would include: Completely one-dimensional characters, the "radiant" AI of characters making completely nonsensical conversations with each other (that was actually quite entertaining for about a minute and a half), allies that constantly jumped in front of me while fighting and then throwing a fit when my arrows hit them.
And also that no one in the game seemed to ever show any amount of hesitation before charging straight at a pack of enemies no matter how ill equipped or hurt they where.
This got quite annoying when I was supposed to escort someone.
I Think it was okay, but it was far from perfect.
The fighting system was nice, the leveling and stats system was simple enough, and the graphics where pretty as long as they weren't someones face.
Stuff I did not like about it would include: Completely one-dimensional characters, the "radiant" AI of characters making completely nonsensical conversations with each other (that was actually quite entertaining for about a minute and a half), allies that constantly jumped in front of me while fighting and then throwing a fit when my arrows hit them.
And also that no one in the game seemed to ever show any amount of hesitation before charging straight at a pack of enemies no matter how ill equipped or hurt they where.
This got quite annoying when I was supposed to escort someone.
I really wanted to get into this game, but too many things made me say, "What the hell is THAT about?" for me to tolerate playing it for very long. =\
Jesus... Oblivion, no joking, nearly killed me. It drove me insane, to the point where I had to stop playing games at all for almost four months. I had foolishly decided to try maxing out my stats. I couldn't bring myself to play any other way, knowing in the back of my mind that I wasn't leveling up in the most efficient way. It was mindless button pressing and note taking to make sure I optimized each level up.
At some point I hit rock bottom, and in a fit of desperation, I broke the disk and deleted the game. I took up jogging and canceled my WoW account. I had to take a step back and remind myself that there are things worth doing and things not worth doing. Now I cheat at most single player games so I can get Yahtzee-style instant gratification. The way I see it, I got to level 70 in Oblivion, so I've earned every unlockable ever made for the rest of my life.
Edit: I started this off joking, but it's a lot closer to the truth than I want to admit.
At some point I hit rock bottom, and in a fit of desperation, I broke the disk and deleted the game. I took up jogging and canceled my WoW account. I had to take a step back and remind myself that there are things worth doing and things not worth doing. Now I cheat at most single player games so I can get Yahtzee-style instant gratification. The way I see it, I got to level 70 in Oblivion, so I've earned every unlockable ever made for the rest of my life.
Edit: I started this off joking, but it's a lot closer to the truth than I want to admit.
I'd have to agree with Yahtzee about Oblivion; I have yet to finish it too, because after a certain point you start to ask yourself "Why bother"? When I played Oblivion, I had decided to go through the guilds before the main quest, so by the time I got to it I was about level 15-20. This meant that all enemies were hulking monstrosities. This was fine because so was I. Unfortunately my allies were not, so the only people who survived each combat besides me were the heroes, who would be 'knocked out' about five times in each battle. Really.
It also meant that combat degraded into me flailing madly with my knife in each combat (I was an assassin), because I knew that it makes almost no difference later in the game. I also turned down the difficulty a notch, because this changed combat from a very dull and samey grind to a dull and samey blur, where I always ended up looking like a deity. The worst part is that when you're an assassin (or other sneaky class), when you sneak attack someone you do 6x damage. Unfortunately, I could do twice that number of hits in under 10 seconds. This is what really got to me. For my class, I either had to spend the game running backwards firing arrows, or change the difficulty and turn into a blur.
Also, the main quest. Being a member of the dark brotherhood was fun. Being an arena fighter was fun (if repetitive). Being a mage was fun, and being a thief was fun (being a guild fighter, less so, whatever). But going through the main quest was dull and had too many recycled elements. I gave up half way through the "Get help from the other cities" quest. Every city has an oblivion gate outside it and I got really bored. I finally gave up after I closed the wrong gate for a city. There were three equidistant oblivion gates AND I CLOSED THE WRONG ONE. After that I have never played the game again.
Ps. Yahtzee was right about immersion, too.
It also meant that combat degraded into me flailing madly with my knife in each combat (I was an assassin), because I knew that it makes almost no difference later in the game. I also turned down the difficulty a notch, because this changed combat from a very dull and samey grind to a dull and samey blur, where I always ended up looking like a deity. The worst part is that when you're an assassin (or other sneaky class), when you sneak attack someone you do 6x damage. Unfortunately, I could do twice that number of hits in under 10 seconds. This is what really got to me. For my class, I either had to spend the game running backwards firing arrows, or change the difficulty and turn into a blur.
Also, the main quest. Being a member of the dark brotherhood was fun. Being an arena fighter was fun (if repetitive). Being a mage was fun, and being a thief was fun (being a guild fighter, less so, whatever). But going through the main quest was dull and had too many recycled elements. I gave up half way through the "Get help from the other cities" quest. Every city has an oblivion gate outside it and I got really bored. I finally gave up after I closed the wrong gate for a city. There were three equidistant oblivion gates AND I CLOSED THE WRONG ONE. After that I have never played the game again.
Ps. Yahtzee was right about immersion, too.
Does anyone else notice the sound at the last line of Yahtzee's review? Kind of like a VCR tape over rewinding itself or a reel of movie film spun way too fast past it's length?
Now you mention it, that character always had me go WTF, but this makes complete sense..franzuu said:
Still makes it very vague at the start. The Elder Scrolls series do seem to repeat this little mystery start, maybe so you can paste your own life to the start to enhance immersion? Still failed in the case of Oblivion though, ah well..
I know, hence the "And to be a jerk:". Thought I might as well tip it in since I was already talking about nitpicking anyway.star_topology said:
Has anyone ever tried to create a likeness of them or a celebrity using oblivion?
Also, Chuck Norris has already been done on a youtube video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDsL6HxE-S0
Also, Chuck Norris has already been done on a youtube video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDsL6HxE-S0
Huh? where do you talk to this person?
and are you telling my That the head of the tiefs guild mages guild fighters guild and the Grand Champion of Cyrodill spends her spare time jamming a dead guys rod down her twat?
SERIOUSLY??? thats what they came up with
again where do I find this npc to talk to them?
and are you telling my That the head of the tiefs guild mages guild fighters guild and the Grand Champion of Cyrodill spends her spare time jamming a dead guys rod down her twat?
SERIOUSLY??? thats what they came up with
again where do I find this npc to talk to them?
Huh? where do you talk to this person?
and are you telling my That the head of the tiefs guild mages guild fighters guild and the Grand Champion of Cyrodill spends her spare time jamming a dead guys rod down her twat?
SERIOUSLY??? thats what they came up with
again where do I find this npc to talk to them?
and are you telling my That the head of the tiefs guild mages guild fighters guild and the Grand Champion of Cyrodill spends her spare time jamming a dead guys rod down her twat?
SERIOUSLY??? thats what they came up with
again where do I find this npc to talk to them?
Damned bang on review.
I've always thought of Bethesda (makers of Oblivity) as a bunch of wankers. Partially because they take a great idea like Oblivion and then not only unfulfill it's massive potential but make key areas so bad it's just not any fun to play. Also because when it comes to their fans they are unmitigated gits.
Can you believe that people complained to them about things like fast travel for 6 months before the game was released, asking for something like WOW's fast travel system, and all Beth did was tell them to fuck off. Hell they did the same thing when people asked for something as simple as an option to turn it off. A thing that would have, and did take all of 5 minutes of coding (thanks to a modder). Of course at this suggestion they got insulted that these ungrateful wanks could think differently from them, and subsequently told them to stfu and fork over $50+ for the game anyway.
In terms of public relations with their fans they are the equivalent of Hitler at a Jewish Banking convention.
I've always thought of Bethesda (makers of Oblivity) as a bunch of wankers. Partially because they take a great idea like Oblivion and then not only unfulfill it's massive potential but make key areas so bad it's just not any fun to play. Also because when it comes to their fans they are unmitigated gits.
Can you believe that people complained to them about things like fast travel for 6 months before the game was released, asking for something like WOW's fast travel system, and all Beth did was tell them to fuck off. Hell they did the same thing when people asked for something as simple as an option to turn it off. A thing that would have, and did take all of 5 minutes of coding (thanks to a modder). Of course at this suggestion they got insulted that these ungrateful wanks could think differently from them, and subsequently told them to stfu and fork over $50+ for the game anyway.
In terms of public relations with their fans they are the equivalent of Hitler at a Jewish Banking convention.
Good Review, I tried to play Oblivion several times (yes tried and gave up after like 3 hours of boredom) and could never get into it... And considering the hardware requirements it looks a bit crap, Interiors and Buildings look great, but the environments, especially grass look AWFUL
Anyway, thanks again for providing lolworthy material, I think I will play through Condemned again after that cat joke
Anyway, thanks again for providing lolworthy material, I think I will play through Condemned again after that cat joke
Uh-oh.
This is the second review in a row where Yahtzee reviews an RPG. And the second where he has something kind to say about World of Warcraft.
Either he needs to spend a weekend marathon playing an FPS, or he is even now developing his own Painkiller and Electrodriver to commence a murderous rampage throughout the entire South Pacific.
The results should be amusing one way or another.
This is the second review in a row where Yahtzee reviews an RPG. And the second where he has something kind to say about World of Warcraft.
Either he needs to spend a weekend marathon playing an FPS, or he is even now developing his own Painkiller and Electrodriver to commence a murderous rampage throughout the entire South Pacific.
The results should be amusing one way or another.
Oh my god that review tickled me something rotten. I am so hungover and have no energy what-so-ever, but still i found myself screaming with laughter at some parts. I literally jumped out of my seat at the cat/piss bit. Spot on Yahtzee.