Zero Punctuation: Portal 2

[Xersues]

Here is a good complain about the first Portal

To damn easy

The second one is easy as hell as well. To me, making portal levels is about as hard as animating cartoons from scratch. You work your ass off making this gorgeous set-piece and artwork just to find out you've only make 10 seconds of it.

Portal 2 is easy. The coop campaign is awesome and you can be really clever with the puzzles, but there are only really a very very small handful of ways to complete them. Making it feel so linear that there is no point of doing it again.

Seriously, the free coop mods are most likely going to be more entertainment than Valves. Because Valve will stick to the mantra that "this is an action game for non action people". Screw that, it needs more platforming elements and some serious skill to get through them to be enjoyable. Otherwise, each mission takes 2-5 minutes to figure out.

 

[Daemascus]

Now all i need to see is his review of Duke Nukem Forever and my life will be complete. For a bit.

 

[demoncub1990]

this makes me wish that i had a PS3 even more but whatev great review yahtzee

 

[yourbeliefs]

I also agree that the co-op mode has a serious flaw of having no replay value. To be fair I haven't played it yet, but I know if I were to jump online I'd just find people who have already played it to death who just bark commands at me the whole time, essentially making me a tool (in more ways than one) to progress as opposed to us using our collective reasoning to figure out a particular puzzle. Maybe I could convince a friend to play it with me, but that isn't even guaranteed sadly.

Overall a good review and about what I expected him to say.

 

[TheRealCJ]

It's rather funny. I got epically chewed out by multiple people and got called a troll when I used the exact same arguement as my reason why I thought portal one was better than portal two on a thread a week ago.

apparently it's only a valid arguement when Yahtzee says it...

 

[Madd the Sane]

18 posts with one mention of cake, and it not being "a lie."
This looks promising.

 

[TimeLord]

No memes?

Well my response to that is Lemons and Spaaaaaaaaaaaace!

 

[Russian_Assassin]

To be honest, I liked the second Portal better. Maybe because it let me explore the personality of my arch enemy some more, or maybe it was figuring out the story behind Aperture. All and all, I regard both Portals (the games, not the actual portals) as two of the best games I've played in my life.

Also, how could someone not like the turret opera?

 

[Xman490]

Your opinion tastes like shepherd's pie and sawdust, with a few of the cherries we expected.
Now, that's the Yatzee we love-hate.

 

[Steve the Pocket]

Very, VERY surprised he didn't complain at all about the shameless retconning of the first game. Given how he feels about shameless sequels, even if Portal 2 doesn't qualify as one by a wide margin, I would think yoinking away a happy ending in a patch, just so there can be a sequel, would be on his top-ten list of biggest dick moves a developer can pull.

That, and

Spoiler

the guy with the British accent becoming a villain

...something he's raged against very loudly in the past.

 

[For.I.Am.Mad]

"..the fans are annoying..." I can relate to that.

 

[Mad1Cow]

Portal 1 was indeed amazing because no one expected it to be and I especially like that Yahtzee went so far out of his way to look at the developers commentary. I think compared to the drivel we've been having recently (ahem CoD blah, Mario bleck, Fallout New vlarghpoo) in terms of sequels this is one of the best sequels I've seen since "sliced bread: the second loaf".

It's refreshing compared to everything else out there and the humour did make me laugh, but yes it was a different kind of humour and the exploration puzzles were a little too open as appossed to the tight compact gameplay of Portal 1. However this is like a daddy trying to outdo his father in the same field, it's just pretty darn impossible because as much as danny boy can try, he won't have nearly the same impact as daddy did, even if he did the exact same thing...

 

[ActionDan]

I agree with all you said about it. It was rather easy aside from maybe 1 or 2 puzzles near the end.

 

[Deathlisk]

I wish I had a portalgun in real life.
Great positive-ish review though!

 

[Drummodino]

He loved it... you can tell. Problem is he loved the first one more. I don't think anything is ever gonna trump that for him.

 

[MasterProcrastinator]

"With one of my fat friends."

After listening to yours and Yug's podcast just prior to watching this review, I found that line all the more amusing.

 

[beema]

Apart from being hilarious, this is actually the best review of Portal 2 I've seen. It's fair and balanced and makes accurate critiques instead of just gushing about how brilliant everything is. I agree with everything that's he said, and the mention of the un-replayability of the co-op is an especially frustrating truth.

I began co-op with a friend, and it was marvelous. We got through about 1/3 of it before we had to call it quits.
By the time I was able to get back and play it on another day, the same friend had already played through the rest of co-op with someone else (traitorous swine!). Even so, he agreed to go through my remainder with me. Except the exact thing mentioned in the review happened: since he knew every puzzle already, we blew through them, him dragging me by the hand, which was terribly un-fun and ruined the experience of figuring out the puzzles together. This is the same friend that I can replay the same L4D maps over and over with and have tons of fun, so it's not the person at fault. It's just the inherent flaw in having a linear, static, puzzle game with more than one player.

Why didn't I just play with someone else, you ask? Because within two days of Portal 2 releasing, every friend on my Steam Friends list had already beaten both the single player and co-op. I guess they are all in college or unemployed or something.

I STILL have one level or so left in the co-op that I can't beat because I have no one to play it with because nobody wants to replay it!

 

[LadyMint]

Hahahah! You hit the nail of my co-op problem right on the head. I've been playing with my brother all this time, getting through the rooms we haven't before. Then when I switched to playing with a friend of mine, he ended up yelling at me for constantly telling him how to solve rooms, which meant I ended up standing around waiting for him to figure out how to do things that I already knew how to do. It doesn't bother me now, but I can see it getting really old if I keep playing with other friends.

Also: Holy crap, but there were so many moments when I thought to myself, "Geez, ANOTHER test chamber?" I preferred the parts where I was wandering the bowels of Aperture science in such a way that I didn't immediately recognize that I was just trapped in another puzzle room. The dilapidated parts of the facility were a far more interesting sight to me than the sterile test chambers.

I still like this game much more than the first one, though. The story might not be as subtle but it excited me to unravel it.

 

[The Electro Gypsy]

Yay the Portal 2 review. I'm so glad he picked up on the hat thing (and the absurd length between puzzles, but personally I could live with that). The hats really can just fuck off, they and the items ruined TF2. But while they ruined TF2, I don't hate them cos Valve were experimenting which is more than can be said for most companies, I just wish they stayed away from other good games that don't want ruining.

Also, this means he either got it on PC or PS3, and I'm banking on the PC, so woo (now stop getting games on the XBox if they're not exclusive D

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

Did he just say that there's no potential for new meme's in Portal 2? Have you been paying attention the last few weeks Yahtzee? Does space ring a bell, or lemons?