Zero Punctuation: Red Dead Redemption

[HigherTomorrow]

I got to say, I absolutely adored Red Dead Redemption, but you pointed out all the things wrong with it.

I feel that the drunken controls aren't enough to exactly break the game, but they're there, and complaints are just another form of love, right?

 

[AvsJoe]

Wow, I'm surprised that Yahtzee liked this game as well as everyone else. I must be missing a gem here. Also, did anyone else catch that recording blip at 2:28? I hate to nitpick but that startled me worse than anything Freddie Kruger did during the new Nightmare movie.

 

[lonercs]

He shouldn't ***** about travel time in a game that offers free instant travel.

What the options that is easily missed? I realized that I could travel to my waypoint with camping and coaches after I beat the game and most of the treasure hunting challenges. They should of covered that in the manual.

 

[wonkify]

I liked "Green Spleen Submarine" best. Beautiful.

Not getting the game though as it isn't available for my gaming platform--PC.

And I have officially sworn off on ever again paying good money for crappy ports of console games that offer none of the PCs functionality and are released ages after the real release.

Screw that, I'm not going to financially support being disrespected any longer.

Plus you will probably have to have an internet connection stuck in your ear the entire time you play it or something when it comes out anyway. And submit to a rectal exam...while playing it. And submit a DNA sample...while playing it. And...you get the idea.
All because it's on my eeeeevil PC and not a console.

 

[LadyRhian]

Dear The Escapist,

I don't want to have to stare at some woman with gross noserings that seem to be attached by chains to her hair while watching Zero Puntuation.

And here I was wondering why she had such a funky moustache!

 

[J-Alfred]

Well, I've been playing it for about eight hours now (primarily dicking around and slicing my fingers off) and I seem to have been given some magic disk handed down by Skynet from its pre-nuke days because my game hasn't glitched once, and I've experienced no bugs at all.

Of course, I still have to deal with those fucking lions. I played the first "sherrif" mission where you go to a house and shoot some bandits, and then the game said "you're quite far from civilization. would you like to learn how to fast travel?" No, I said, I'd like to explore the sandbox of this sandbox game, not get roped back into the one corner where things happen. So I set out on my horse, found a treasure map, shot up some horse thieves, picked some pretty wildflowers, and then *RAWR* mountain lion attacks and kills me in two hits. I'm of the theory that the game only spawns a mountain lion when it feels you've been dicking around for too long and wants to strongly encourage you to start another story mission.

All in all, though, I'm liking Red Dead. It's certainly a more immersive experience to ride around an entire country rather then the same city the whole time, and the music always puts me in the right mood for exploration. Although...

What's up with the graphics? Ok, they're great and all, but why does every tooth in every mouth have to be painstakingly rendered? That chick on the farm Bonnie might have actually been attractive if it hadn't been for her grotesque teeth, and the same is true for everyone in the game so far. But that's just a minor nit pick.

Good review, Yahtzee. I'm not surprised that you don't love it as much as the rest of the world seems to. I guess the only problem is that you didn't say which wild west cowboy game is best. What will the deciding contest be for this one?

 

[Seagoon]

i just bought this today and it seems pretty fun...

 

[Donttazemehbro]

Ok what is wrong with you, i was mad enough when you couldn't find valid arguments against Splinter Cell conviction and now this. IT IS NOT!!!! GRAND THEFT HORSES. You cant expect the game with the same engines and the same developers to not have any similarities, that DOESNT mean its the same fucking game! Hunting, gathering, sharpshooting and other activities give you progress through challenges, these unlock new and BETTER guns not the same ones. Also, once you beat the game, if your smart you'll get the title. Trust me. It takes you awhile to get the controlls, maybe if you DONT rush through the game. I have no problem, sure i did at the beginning but like most gameplay mechanics YOU HAVE TO PRACTICE. Otherwise it wouldn't be a challenge. Also, you mentioned long travel times, you walk 50 feet out of a city and pull out your campsite, you can travel to ANY waypoint you set, you DONT have to walk or ride everywhere. Also, when you pull out your gun your DONT have to hold down a to run. Ill agree that the jumping mechanic is a pain in the arse but seriously man. Also, you DONT have to do the minigames but they can give you something to do if you get board with the story missions which can frequently happen if your rushing through it. And, Some of the glitches you mentioned only happen on the PS3 as far as i can tell, it never happened to me on my XBOX. The health, stamina and Dead Eye do regenerate on their own but as you said in Alan Wake you can have those if things get a little more dangerous like if your mauled by a cougar you use medicine so the next hit wont kill you. Guns auto aimed in GTA, MW2, sometimes in SSC, and SAINTS ROW TWO, funny how you didnt mention that.

 

[lumpenprole]

I don't know why everyone is such a wuss about mountain lions. I've killed like three that attacked me.

 

[bloob]

He shouldn't ***** about travel time in a game that offers free instant travel.

most of the time in missions it doesn't give you that option.

It was a good game it was just missing something, it felt like it never really got going.

 

[Donttazemehbro]

I don't know why everyone is such a wuss about mountain lions. I've killed like three that attacked me.

YEah its called guns and bullets used to kill things.

 

[hypercube]

Funny review, but I've not had any glitches so far, I've managed to walk through doors without bumping into them, and in general enjoyed it immensely.

 

[Sheppard]

Ok, I have a question Mr.Croshaw: what system did you play it on? I have on 360 (I'm proud to say I was the first one in Vancouver to have it) and I don't get any of those buggy issues. I've never had to restart it, and I've never had graphical glitches...

 

[SuperUberBob]

I like how Donttazemehbro didn't take the review personally when providing his opinion.

 

[Mirokunite]

not as annoying as the hunting mission where you have to kill a Grizzly Bear with just the melee knife though...god that took me ages.

Should have shot the bear twice with a repeater, then knifed it. You'll get the mission completed.

 

[wonkify]

The thing that i found most odd about this review was that you contently complained about the bugs and glitches. I have played the game for about 20 hours and have only very rarely experienced any of the problems you had. I was using the 360 version, so if its a that was what you where using you might have just had a weird copy of the game and if not then it my just have been a problem with the version you where using.

Um, you do realize that this is a 'review' in only the most distant sense, right? It's as much a comedy send-up as a review. Yes he does mean it about the problems he names in very funny ways, but this is much more for entertainment.
Lots of game companies look forward to Yahtzee doing a send up of their game. It's quite an event and much valued.
You might want to check a few other sources in addition to Extra Punctuation for 'reviews' to argue with.
Just sayin'.

 

[Moloboen]

Hahaha I love red dead redemption and yeh those damned npc's always try to run me off the road but other than that i havent expirienced many glitches :O (Gota kill em mountain lions man. Gota kill em).