Zero Punctuation: Resident Evil 5

[runningfatman]

heh that was great btw i bet capcom loves u yatzee but other then that i liked this good job and keep it up

 

[Paradox244]

As far as I can see, story has never been one of Capcom's strengths. I'm playing Dead Rising, and the story is pretty weak. It's hardly surprising that the story in RE5 is weak as well.

 

[Heroic One]

Judging from a few images here and there, I thought your partner was a latino woman.

 

[Al X and Ur]

wow, i never had any of the problems you did, i played the game with a friend of course, the only thing i dont like is quick-time, but in all honesty, as long as you ignore the fact that the game has a story plot, its awesome.

 

[Grampy_bone]

I'm impressed. He actually stayed on topic and made some good points in this review.

 

[Internet Kraken]

Here's a thing. Picture a poor clueless newb stumbling into a forum and happily posting something like "I just played this game called Final Fantasy VII and I really liked it! Are there really six others? Do they have Sephiroth in them? I loved him, he was awesome!". He's new. He doesn't *know* the topic that he just discovered last week has been discussed for years. People have very strong opinions about it. Other people have equally strong, *opposing* opinions about it. Flamewars have raged for months. Friendships were broken forever. It is a fucking touchy subject. The post is not unlike stirring up an angry hornet's nest, assuming it doesn't get ignored as a troll in the first place.

Usually by the time you manage to explain all this to the newb, he tries to defend himself with "Well I didn't *know*, geez. Lay off already." You know what? No. No, the entire fucking population is not going to magically forget all the baggage attached to the topic just because you're a delicate little flower who couldn't spend five fucking minutes with an FAQ. If you come late to the party and start spouting obviously ignorant shit, you're going to get your ass toasted.

And the same applies even moreso if you get into a topic that actually has real fucking relevance, like racism. And ten times as much if you're a large gaming company instead of a random shlub with a keyboard and modem.

So no, "lol we didnt mean to be racist" is not a fucking defense, Capcom.

Having black people as zombies doesn't equal racism. It's only racist if you perceive it as racism.

 

[Ryuzaki]

This has got to be one of the best Zero Punctuation episodes I've seen. I laughed for almost the entire length. Looking forward to next weeks show.

 

[RTR]

I wholeheartely agree. RE4 is one of the best games I've ever played. RE5 felt like RE4, but it still felt like a departure from what made it excellent. The survival horror style is now more actiony and I found the controls awkward for that playstyle. The inventory is god-awful, and Sheva is just eye-candy, unless you play with a friend. The story and dialogue are hit-and miss, but I've come to accept that coming from Capcom.

 

[-bladerunner-]

AH! KKK.....oh it is a Capcom developer being a idiot. Oh well....

 

[solidstatemind]

A few thoughts off the top of my head:
1) to those slagging the 'Yahtzee lovers', congratulations on your membership in the 'Yahtzee haters'. Yes, you're a part of a herd as well. Now go over to your side of the corral.
2) I had no plans to purchase RE5, and now I know that I can just replay 4 without missing too much, I feel my choice was validated. But regardless of whether you agree or disagree with his assessment, this review was pretty funny, and raised some interesting points about the game.
3) "...the verbal warfare equivalent of two retards playing HAPPY-SLAPS!" was a certifiably hysterical line.
4) sorry to disappoint you spelling Nazis out there, but according to the OED, 'octopi' is an accepted plural for 'octopus'. . . and who really gives a shit, anyway? I mean, we're not discussing somebody's doctoral thesis here.



heh. '...and it's MY WALL...'

 

[JoeKickAzz]

Resident Evil 2 is still the best game in the series.

HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?!?!?!

Resident Evil 4 was clearly the best out of the series.

and also great review yahtzee. funny, true, and funny again

 

[srpilha]

Here's a thing. Picture a poor clueless newb stumbling into a forum and happily posting something like "I just played this game called Final Fantasy VII and I really liked it! Are there really six others? Do they have Sephiroth in them? I loved him, he was awesome!". He's new. He doesn't *know* the topic that he just discovered last week has been discussed for years. People have very strong opinions about it. Other people have equally strong, *opposing* opinions about it. Flamewars have raged for months. Friendships were broken forever. It is a fucking touchy subject. The post is not unlike stirring up an angry hornet's nest, assuming it doesn't get ignored as a troll in the first place.

Usually by the time you manage to explain all this to the newb, he tries to defend himself with "Well I didn't *know*, geez. Lay off already." You know what? No. No, the entire fucking population is not going to magically forget all the baggage attached to the topic just because you're a delicate little flower who couldn't spend five fucking minutes with an FAQ. If you come late to the party and start spouting obviously ignorant shit, you're going to get your ass toasted.

And the same applies even moreso if you get into a topic that actually has real fucking relevance, like racism. And ten times as much if you're a large gaming company instead of a random shlub with a keyboard and modem.

So no, "lol we didnt mean to be racist" is not a fucking defense, Capcom.

+1 on that

I have to say this is the first review to which I go just "meh" (instead of liking it very much) - prolly 'cause I'm not a RE person.

I keep my moderate Yahtzee-fanboy badge, though

 

[Roffey123]

Oh how I will hate the coming days as I try to complete this game with her in tow.

I just don't get it. If you know you're going to hate playing a game, WHY WOULD YOU PLAY IT? It reminds me of trying to play engineer in TF2 when a soldier is near-by picking up every scrap of metal every single time he fires one rocket - you just want to ***** slap him and tell him to use the dispenser but you know he won't listen! An entire game of dealing with that sounds like a damn nightmare!

It is, suprisingly, possible to hate an element of the game but like the game itself?








Muggins.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

I think this is the first ZP review which I have agreed with every point. Bravo, Mr Yahtzee

Ditto... this review was frighteningly similar to how I feel about the game.

Although I would add to the ranting and point out the game's biggest flaw for me: the fact that all the fiddly retarded swapping and mixing has to be done in real time.

 

[Destroy Gundam]

What's up with the way he pronounces Bowie?

Keep in mind that he's British.

I liked RE4, except for that quick-time knife fight with Krauser. But I'm not sure if I'll get RE5.

 

[Grim-aces]

He is absolutely right about your partner, there is one part early in the game where you have to go through a dark tunnel and one of the character has to hold a lamp with a car battery hooked to it. I grabbed the light and she is left to defense, which was a mistake on my part, the first enemy pops out and she was waits till he hits her in the face with a shovel to fire off a round. After I killed the enemy and spent 5 minutes trying to slash her throat open with my knife I confined her to flashlight duty, my second mistake. She couldn't even perform that simple task, I had to fight a horde enemies with her pointing the light to the side. My guess she was making shadow puppets while I was being horribly raped and beaten.

 

[the protaginist]

"With enough small herbs to knock out Cheech Marin!"

I fell out of my chair luaghing. Hats off to you Mr. Croshaw.

 

[Nunka]

And the creepy Merchant guy died.

What?! That guy was the only reason I kept playing RE4. What a damn shame...

 

[Kraven Angelous]

Resident Evil 2 is still the best game in the series.

HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?!?!?!

Resident Evil 4 was clearly the best out of the series.

and also great review yahtzee. funny, true, and funny again

If you are less than 16 years old I will not pick on you for this statement. RE4 and RE5 are the least Resident Evil-ish games in the saga, even the Early build of Resident Evil 4 was more Resident Evil-ish. Therefor, Resident Evil 2 IS the best of the series.

 

[kommando367]

I agree with this review in everyway, the inventory screen, way its made up in a very similar way to RE4, the triple cunted hooker, etc..., and the merchant was my favorite character.