Zero Punctuation: Resident Evil 5

ElTigreNegro

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Jan 17, 2009
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bjj hero said:
Cracked me up. I hate RE games with a passion, I didnt play 4 but I downloaded the demo hoping things had improved... OH... DEAR...

Controls were shit, cant move and shoot, very bad but could be explained, your aiming I guess. Cant move with a knife drawn. WTF?
I guess you just suck at aiming, go back to play Gears of War if you just want to run and shoot aimlessly.
 

Gladion

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Jan 19, 2009
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I think he got REALLY nitpicky in this episode, even for his own standards - but it was hilarious :> Especially the part in which he described Chris' phsysique. Awesome XD
 

ssgt splatter

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Oct 8, 2008
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Oh my F***ing god, my lungs I can't breathe!

Talk about sidestepping a pot-hole just to fall off a bridge. HA!
Beautiful Yahtzee
 

Duh

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Feb 19, 2009
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ElTigreNegro said:
Duh said:
your armor inside the pocket of your armor was possibly the most bizzre thing ever

i knew capcom were idiots as soon as they axed Clover studios and kept franchises they would never ever ever make sequals of, and if they did they would probably fuck it up, like giving Amaterasu gigantic boobs or making Joe emo.
The reason Clover studios went down is that their games, sans Viewtful Joe, had low sales. Sadly, it was the consumers who pretty much killed that studio. But they sort of revived as Platinum, so not everything is lost.
i know that, they're making games for sega now at this exact moment (i know they are an independent studio hooray for that), but i liked Viewtful Joe and Okami so much that its sad to know ill never see them again

i know there was a Viewtful Joe 2 but i didnt realy liked it, whenever a series do the 2 playable characters thing they fuck it up, like Pikmin

pikmin was great but when Nintendo decided to make it more complex it was doomed, the simplicity of pikmin was what made it a realy fun experience, but now this is getting a little bit of topic
 

arcstone

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So incomprehensibly true.
Although I was expecting him to say something like "africa have sure become quite ethically diverse lately, hasn't it?"

And the loincloth and chucking spears bit made me gasp for my breath.

Still love the game, though. :)
 

bjj hero

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Feb 4, 2009
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ElTigreNegro said:
bjj hero said:
Cracked me up. I hate RE games with a passion, I didnt play 4 but I downloaded the demo hoping things had improved... OH... DEAR...

Controls were shit, cant move and shoot, very bad but could be explained, your aiming I guess. Cant move with a knife drawn. WTF?
I guess you just suck at aiming, go back to play Gears of War if you just want to run and shoot aimlessly.
Actually, once I figured out only head shots count the demo was easy. I said the controls were shit, not the aiming. Theres no good reason not to be able to move and shoot and no excuse not to be able to move and use the knife.

I dont play GOW, prefer CoD 4 myself. Its not "aimless" shooting if there is an enemy on the recieving end of the bullets. I guess moving and shooting would be too much for you, one thing at a time...
 

ElTigreNegro

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Jan 17, 2009
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bjj hero said:
ElTigreNegro said:
bjj hero said:
Cracked me up. I hate RE games with a passion, I didnt play 4 but I downloaded the demo hoping things had improved... OH... DEAR...

Controls were shit, cant move and shoot, very bad but could be explained, your aiming I guess. Cant move with a knife drawn. WTF?
I guess you just suck at aiming, go back to play Gears of War if you just want to run and shoot aimlessly.
Actually, once I figured out only head shots count the demo was easy. I said the controls were shit, not the aiming. Theres no good reason not to be able to move and shoot and no excuse not to be able to move and use the knife.

I dont play GOW, prefer CoD 4 myself. Its not "aimless" shooting if there is an enemy on the recieving end of the bullets. I guess moving and shooting would be too much for you, one thing at a time...
It's ok, you just don't like fun games.
 

tk1989

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May 20, 2008
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hahaha, what a brilliant review! Wtf is up with the inventory screen? lol.

I was thinking of getting this game, but now im worried that itll ruin my memories of RE4.. lol
 

BUG.exe

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Mar 11, 2009
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great review! finally somebody else besides me thinks this game looks exactly the same as RE4 but with different wallpaper. why do developers continue to give players AI partners? it never works except in republic commando, but nobody played that game.
 

Tanzka

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Jan 7, 2009
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I knew this was a piece of junk. Thanks Yahtzee, you and NC are the reason I get up on wednesdays, and you really didn't disappoint. I love it. :D
 

bjj hero

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Feb 4, 2009
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ElTigreNegro said:
bjj hero said:
ElTigreNegro said:
bjj hero said:
Cracked me up. I hate RE games with a passion, I didnt play 4 but I downloaded the demo hoping things had improved... OH... DEAR...

Controls were shit, cant move and shoot, very bad but could be explained, your aiming I guess. Cant move with a knife drawn. WTF?
I guess you just suck at aiming, go back to play Gears of War if you just want to run and shoot aimlessly.
Actually, once I figured out only head shots count the demo was easy. I said the controls were shit, not the aiming. Theres no good reason not to be able to move and shoot and no excuse not to be able to move and use the knife.

I dont play GOW, prefer CoD 4 myself. Its not "aimless" shooting if there is an enemy on the recieving end of the bullets. I guess moving and shooting would be too much for you, one thing at a time...
It's ok, you just don't like fun games.
Great come back, were you thinking about that long?

Ill stop poking the fan boy now.
 

WaffleGod

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Oct 22, 2008
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BUG.exe said:
great review! finally somebody else besides me thinks this game looks exactly the same as RE4 but with different wallpaper. why do developers continue to give players AI partners? it never works except in republic commando, but nobody played that game.
probably for some pretty damn good reason...
 

300lb. Samoan

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Mar 25, 2009
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Roffey123 said:
Oh how I will hate the coming days as I try to complete this game with her in tow.
I just don't get it. If you know you're going to hate playing a game, WHY WOULD YOU PLAY IT? It reminds me of trying to play engineer in TF2 when a soldier is near-by picking up every scrap of metal every single time he fires one rocket - you just want to ***** slap him and tell him to use the dispenser but you know he won't listen! An entire game of dealing with that sounds like a damn nightmare!
 

Teachingaddict

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Nov 8, 2008
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First time comment on a Yahtzee Review


But.....


I loved that last line

Capcom aren't bad people ...............they're just idiots


Lol
 

bjj hero

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Feb 4, 2009
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300lb. Samoan said:
Roffey123 said:
Oh how I will hate the coming days as I try to complete this game with her in tow.
I just don't get it. If you know you're going to hate playing a game, WHY WOULD YOU PLAY IT? It reminds me of trying to play engineer in TF2 when a soldier is near-by picking up every scrap of metal every single time he fires one rocket - you just want to ***** slap him and tell him to use the dispenser but you know he won't listen! An entire game of dealing with that sounds like a damn nightmare!
Exactly, play what you enjoy. You have the best name ever btw, are you really 300lbs?
 
Nov 15, 2007
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I always thought Resident Evil was more about inventory management than killing zombies so I guess RE5 is going back to the basics.