Zero Punctuation: Risen 2: Dark Waters

[OZITOMAI]

i never really liked pirates as a game and i dont know what was that thing after credits but it was funny/good

 

[omicron1]

By the way, you can dodge by double-tapping the arrow keys. (Edit: I hear this may have been appended in a patch. Still...)

No, they don't tell you. Yes, it's useful. Guardians, especially, are much less of a potion-drop once you discover it.

Also, to kick you have to be holding right-mouse. No, they don't tell you that either.

Also, for one example of 'Nuff Said, what's-his-face on Treasure Isle (the deserter) can be shot point-blank.

There's about six of them, all told. Not terribly useful, but there you go.

 

[Grey Day for Elcia]

Can't play this game... It's rated Arrrre!

Rofl. You just had to, didn't you. XD

 

[Metalrocks]

never cared for the game anyway. even angry joe was pretty pissed about it.

the ending was just hilarious. the barney scene just cracked me up. "we know you are there, its just we dont like you". im still laughing wile writing this.

 

[Phlakes]

...That was one of the best things I've ever seen in my life. Freeman's Mind is cool and all, but DJ Yahtzee needs to be a thing.

 

[dmcc85]

i believe it's all abou the money. these developers do not have much of it. in comparison with earlier games like gothic 1-3 it's still an improvement.
only the story-liniarity is a bit itchy for a RPG.
other games leave more freedom in decision-making and character/story developement.
but if you like "pirates of the caribean" or "Pirates" in general, this game is for you to play.

 

[K4RN4GE911]

The ending bit was good. And really, who does like Barney?

Oh yeah, I definitely hate that purple dinosaur.

What? Oh, Barney Calhoun.

That guy's a badass, how could you hate him?

 

[3quency]

De Montford University hahahaha.

That made me laugh so much.

I'm going there in September.
Yay?

 

[blackrave]

Never gave a crap about Risen and will continue doing this
Also, pirates aren't exactly my thing. Yes, I played hell out of Pirates! (recent version, not the first one), but still I feel meh about pirates.

The Barney moment in the end was funny
"Please stop banging on the door, we know you're there, we just don't like you"

 

[Allan Foe]

Aren't we perhaps a tad biased towards Pie Rats, eh old bean?
Oh, but it's not like SOMEONE wrote a whole novel about them, mmm-hmmm.

 

[pearcinator]

I had never heard of this game but you know what!

I would throw all my money at a big-budget developer (Bioware or Bethesda) to make a pirate-themed RPG! Everything you said about Risen says that it is pretty crappy but I like the idea very much and would definitely get out of the tired old medieval RPG's.

---

About that half-life video at the end...you sounded a lot like John Cleese.

 

[Amaror]

or is a feature for them. Like making the game not too easy.

See, but none of the problems I had with Risen 1 were related to difficulty.

For example, if you're not using swords, the game beats you over the head with how you should have used swords. Most rare items you find are swords...

There are 3 sword types in the game (long, bastard, and two-handed, iirc, maybe there were only 2), but only one type of everything else.

Getting the ability to prospect is a difficult thing since there is only one person who trains it, but then the only thing you can do with the ore is smith it.

And you can only smith it into swords...

While we're on smithing... I hated how you had to wait until the local blacksmith was done with the forge/anvil/whetstone/etc to use it, but then he inevitably moved to the next one you needed, meaning you had to wait some more.

Then the UI was arduous, the Quest tracker, asinine, and the map was well nigh on useless.

I also really don't like the skill system. I know it's a carry-over from Gothic, but, as Yahtzee said, it makes it feel like everyone else is more capable than you, which doesn't bode well when you're the intrepid hero. The fact that there will always be someone else who is at least as good as you makes you wonder why you can't get more help taking down the Personification of Evil d'jour.

IDK, I enjoyed the first game for a while, but after a time the frustrations outweighed the charm and I shelved it and any interest I had in the second.

p.s. oh, and there is the fact that the first game was wildly misogynistic, but that's a different topic altogether.

Ok the sword thing was retarted of the developer, but i didn't mind since i like swords more than anything else nontheless. I liked the skill system. It doesn't makes you a mighty god, but rather shows that the only special thing about you, is your will to take on the evil. I think the Map was rather usefull. It showed the main roads ´, so you know where to go and it showed were you're objectives were, what more do you want?
But then again i know how you CAN be pissed of by such things, i just happen to like them or don't mind.

 

[DoanDavid]

The Half-Life bit at the end reminded me of Freeman's Mind http://youtu.be/7J80KD4BG7M

One of the finest youtube comedy-series out there. If Yahtzee made more like this it would be awesome!

 

[Britisheagle]

Half Life ending was brilliant.

Also another good review, my thoughts exactly - brilliant ideas but just poorly executed. Still, kudos for them trying to do something a bit differently!

 

[Namehere]

Well there's a game I'll probably avoid. There's two reasons really, the first one being that the review didn't really show me a game I'd be very interested in. The second being that the review was a little overshadowed by something. And that's surprising because there were an awful lot of crab jokes, usually its hard to top that.

On a side note, I happen to have a massive evil underground complex and the slaves... Sorry, sorry, government doesn't like it when I call them that. My LABOURERS, god damn pinkos, could use a bit more colour in their lives during that early morning grind, do you hire out? The rates are of course entirely unfair.

 

[templar1138a]

It's too bad the mechanics sound so bad. There do need to be more RPGs that aren't in a medieval setting (elves and dwarves are just fine in the Industrial Revolution, for example).

They did make that game, it was called Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magick Obscura and it was great. You can get it from GOG [http://www.gog.com/gamecard/arcanum_of_steamworks_and_magick_obscura].

I said they need to make more RPGs that aren't in a medieval setting. I bought Arcanum years ago, still have it, still try to play it, still sigh in disappointment. It's just not up to snuff with today's graphics and I need to do a lot of grinding to get my skills built and be able to learn the tech schematics/spells I want. That game needs a kickstart on Source or Havok. Or better yet, there needs to be a new Industrial Fantasy game based on modern standards (except, y'know, a more fulfilling experience).

The closest I've gotten is Fable III. That's pretty sad.

 

[cefm]

Sounds every bit as awkward as the first. I did play the first the whole way through, once and with a guide after leveling in such a way that I was screwed the first time I tried, a couple of mods helped it a tiny bit graphically but didn't really change the gameplay which sounds a lot like this. I know their budget isn't huge and that excuses the graphics, but their combat and leveling system does need an overhaul of some sort if they ever want to reach a wider audience. Right now combat is just broken and leveling puts too much focus on cash, and from the sounds of it certain skills are imbalanced to the point of being indispensable or utterly useless, and you don't necessarily know which is which without a guide or blowing a huge chunk of change and possible working yourself into a hole you can't climb out of when the enemies scale up.

Sounds like you just described an Elder Scrolls game.

 

[scienceguy8]

Having seen the game on Steam one or twice and having been intrigued, I may pick it up anyway. Probably at reduced price, however, and only after I get a new computer.

As to the end sketch, I would have figured the Black Mesa personell would have been a little more fond of the stylings of Oingo Boingo.

 

[Chairman Miaow]

Every aspect of the game was absolute bullshit, and the ending was so flat, I wasn't even sure it was the ending, yet I still had fun. Whaddya know.

Also, the Black Mesa radio bit was brilliant.

 

[GrimGrimoire]

It's too bad the mechanics sound so bad. There do need to be more RPGs that aren't in a medieval setting (elves and dwarves are just fine in the Industrial Revolution, for example).

They did make that game, it was called Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magick Obscura and it was great. You can get it from GOG [http://www.gog.com/gamecard/arcanum_of_steamworks_and_magick_obscura].

I said they need to make more RPGs that aren't in a medieval setting. I bought Arcanum years ago, still have it, still try to play it, still sigh in disappointment. It's just not up to snuff with today's graphics and I need to do a lot of grinding to get my skills built and be able to learn the tech schematics/spells I want. That game needs a kickstart on Source or Havok. Or better yet, there needs to be a new Industrial Fantasy game based on modern standards (except, y'know, a more fulfilling experience).

The closest I've gotten is Fable III. That's pretty sad.

What wouldn't I give for a good and original RPG with an original setting. I agree, Arcanum is good, but it hasn't aged too well. Though I still play it on my laptop.
Or really, I can even take another medieval RPG if it has a good setting and a good plot. And a "living" world.