Zero Punctuation: Sonic Unleashed

antipunt

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Jan 3, 2009
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MiyaKome said:
Like the MGS4 review, this one is flawed with the fact that he didn't like the game to begin with. He picked it apart for the sole purpose of picking it apart, which isn't so much of a review as it is a huge complaint over the fact that Sonic doesn't tickle his fancy.

The game, while very light and somewhat cheesy, is, overall, enjoyable.

His section of the day levels are completely false as they're the obvious highlight of the game. As others have said, it captures speed nearly perfectly. There is virtually no loss of frame rate as you fly across the screen, and is, essentially, a perfect 3D rendition of what the old Genesis games would have been. You can even go so fast that the music can't always catch up with you, it's fantastic.

Though, perhaps the horribly biased and unprofessional review is due to the fact that he was butthurt over constantly obtaining E's on his first run of a level.
seriously?...
Sry, didn't mean to pick on you, but your post is a paragon example of 'holier than thou, without a proper explanation'. Since I'm bored, I think I'm going to do a little something I call "an attack of rational thought!"

1. SOMEWHAT cheesy?...
2. You're complaining that Yatzhee 'picked apart the game' a bit TOO much? Do...you even KNOW what Yatzhee DOES at all? [btw, he also mentions in his review that he knew it was going to be bad, but it was SO BAD, that it surprised him altogether; I don't think that 'surprise' was due to premeditated bias]
3. yay stable frame-rate and...*wha? Wow your expectations are high
4. "butthurt"..nice...; and no I highly doubt Yatzhee was just oh-so very hurt about the E-ratings..................

done; good night; sonic = dead
 

Who-Cares

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Jan 4, 2009
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God, I wish he was dead, when I was about 4 I've already beatin' all of the sonic games...but now I'm sixteen and wish he'd die already...sigh, I'm a nerd...and I loved them, but face it you can't hope for better, in case you haven't noticed their getting worse and worse, which I didn't think was possible, but still, all in all that was a pretty funny review.
 

Pastey Old Greg

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Jul 2, 2008
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I shut my brain off when playing this game, and actually came away pleased. I mainly got it for the Sonic daytime levels, and to the game's credit, those are immensely fun. As for the night levels, I would like Sonic Team to look at my bug testing report...

LET ME CONTROL THE GODDAMN FUCKING CAMERA YOU STUBBORN PRICKS. Thank you

XOXO
-Greg

Seriously, if they would have let me focus the camera wherever I pleased on the night levels, I wouldn't have to make blind jumps, or wild guesses based on the fact that the camera just randomly panned out backwards three miles mid-jump. It wouldn't have excelled the night levels in quality, but they would have at least been tolerable. Otherwise, it was a fun platformer with gorgeous art design and awesome music, and honestly, who needed more than 15 seconds to talk to villagers to figure out where to go?

P.S.- notice the hypocrisy in some people who claim that the people who liked the game are hivemind lemmings, are the same people who say "Yeah, good job Yahtzee, it's shit" without even looking at the game.
 

MiyaKome

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Dec 31, 2008
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antipunt said:
seriously?...
Sry, didn't mean to pick on you, but your post is a paragon example of 'holier than thou, without a proper explanation'. Since I'm bored, I think I'm going to do a little something I call "an attack of rational thought!"

1. SOMEWHAT cheesy?...
2. You're complaining that Yatzhee 'picked apart the game' a bit TOO much? Do...you even KNOW what Yatzhee DOES at all? [btw, he also mentions in his review that he knew it was going to be bad, but it was SO BAD, that it surprised him altogether; I don't think that 'surprise' was due to premeditated bias]
3. yay stable frame-rate and...*wha? Wow your expectations are high
4. "butthurt"..nice...; and no I highly doubt Yatzhee was just oh-so very hurt about the E-ratings..................

done; good night; sonic = dead

The frame rate issue was actually one of the main concerns about the game before its release.
 

SoDaRa

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Jan 7, 2009
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I probably have a 1/100000000000000000000000000 chance of him reading this but I might as well say it out of that chance. I actually quite liked the game and wish it not have a story line but other than that it was fabulous. Did you play the Xbox 360/PS3 version (I know you used the Wii version of the box but I'm just making sure you didn't just get the 1st one you saw) because I hear that one is the worst, the Wii one is much better with short dialogue trees instead of stupid walking around and talking. Also it has less levels that are'nt as much trial and error. Truly you have to review both versions of the game to fully review it. If he sees this I am the happiest person in the world for 2 seconds and am the happiest guy in the Universe if he sends back for 3 hours (more like 1 minute but still I will be very happy).
 

terribleyetfun

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Jan 9, 2009
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you have inspired me Yahtzee It`s time to make a sonic trash scoop or at least one made out of a stuffed hedgehog
 

Ange1ofD4rkness

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Jan 14, 2009
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Yeah I agree to his review. The old sonic there was no issue with camera...I mean this is the game I grew up on. Now me personally I like Sonic Adventure 1 and 2. I mean those were cool because well good story line, and Sonic wasn't really a p*ssy nor were some of the characters. Now I made the mistake of buying Sonic The Hedgehog for the Xbox 360 and all I can say is they need to stop adding these power ups (I mean Sonic Adventures power ups were okay). Also stop adding characters, Shadow was the last cool character. I mean I could go on but all I can say is make it with a good camera, cool character, none of these stupid power ups, and so on.

All I can say is that this review was lagit. Let Ben start making games or be part of the planning processes (or atlese Beta test), cause his reviews find it all...you know I am studing game design if there are any game designers reading this
 

ElTigreNegro

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Jan 17, 2009
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MeatSnack1 said:
Yahtzee, Sonic fans (like myself) know full well that sonics recent games have been shite.

But remember that for the fans it dosent matter, as long as we keep the love with us.
I'm a bit confused about this, how exactly you get "love" by playing awful games?
 

Kanashe

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May 8, 2008
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Tsk, tsk tsk....I knew that one day you'll come to this Yahtzee, I always knew you were nothing than a stiff played out troll. And well now you currently proven my point, not only did you lie/troll/bash on the game, but not one of your jokes was funny, but just simple lame ass humor. I knew that in time you would become what is know as the 'youtube generation', a retard who only trolls and a acts like a big shot with huge ego, because of all the sheep you have. You aren't a critic Yahtzee and never were, nor are you a reviewer, your a simple troll who likes to bash games because they aren't a pushover and you belive you know about games. Wich you don't in the slightest. I liked the game and I don't give a fuck what anyone say's (speacylly you Yahtzee sheep and old school whiny brats)
 

chaos666

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Jan 20, 2009
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Great review and roast for that matter. Poor Sonic he used to be on top of the world, now he's nothing. To think when he first came out I thought he was going to knock Mario out, but instead he hit a wall (3D) and never recovered. RIP Sonic.
 

MeatSnack1

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Jan 3, 2009
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I'm a bit confused about this, how exactly you get "love" by playing awful games?[/quote]

we dont. we remember a better time.

besides the DS games are actually preety good.
 

Cliff_m85

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Feb 6, 2009
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Poor Sonic. I remember him being my first video game and loving him so much I asked my mom for a stuffed sonic.

Now he's turning tricks to pay for his meth habit. :(