Zero Punctuation: Splatterhouse

Misho-

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May 20, 2010
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Nobody has given a good (or even passable) score to this game... I think it was a poor year for Namco :p
 

Angnor

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Nov 11, 2010
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i am not god said:
"Always, always love you more if you finish into their face." That's the kind fo stuff we want to hear.

Seriously, I found that hilarious.
I have to agree, in that it was both absolutely horrible and hilarious at the same time.

Shock humor is apparently better than the shock value of the games gore...
 

se7ensenses

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Jun 10, 2009
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The part where Yahtzee said girls will love you more if you splooge all over their face is wrong. It's their HAIR that they love it all over.
 

stormtrooper9091

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Jun 2, 2010
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poor, gullible me. There I was thinking Yahtzee went old school and decided to review a really old game in this new age. Turned out it was just another pointless remake. Oh and it's apparently bad.

Nothing against Yahtzee here, the games seem to be dying if that's all they can think about, sad, sad state of affairs
 

comet5002

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Mar 27, 2009
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I wish he'd stop reviewing all the currently coming out big titles and review some of the more obscure ones.

I had already seen previews for Splatterhouse and already decided that it looked like crap. I didn't need his review to reinforce that.

How about reviewing some lesser known titles so I can see if I'd rather buy those, eh?
 

rezaDN1992

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Jan 27, 2010
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I hope he will do Donkey Kong next week. But he seemed more possitive about this game then some other reviewers. And I Am looking forward to his next award giving episode.
 

Brad Shepard

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Sep 9, 2009
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For once me and Yatzee agree on something.

The minute i saw that this game was nothing but boobs and blood, i just stoped caring. I also have the bad feeling that someone is going to blame this game for going on a rampage.
 

PrinzMegahertz

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Apr 1, 2010
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Usually, Yahtzee overexaggerates things in order to make his point, but in this particular case the truth is even worse. Words cannot transmit the pure agony of seeing the same stupid killing animation over and over and you are forced to battle nearly every boss a thousand times, except for the last boss, which you don't battle at all. You press some buttons and there goes your climatic ending.
 

lozfoe444

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Aug 26, 2009
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Developers rush things toward the end because not everyone is going to get to the ending, so why spend all the money on something not everyone is going to see.
 

Mrsoupcup

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Jan 13, 2009
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When is he going to review Fable 3? I really wanna see Yahtzee tear that game a new asshole.

(Lionhead steals another of my 60 bucks D:)
 

Stratlin

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Mar 19, 2010
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Well, I didn't think that this is how I would make my debut post on the escapist forums but... I think some people may have missed the phrase (around 2:08) "in classic wad of gore fashion..." which is an obvious reference to God of War.

It's not quite "Like God of War, But" -- but it's pretty close.

Oh, and hello community! =)
 

Something Amyss

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Dec 3, 2008
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Tonimata said:
Nice review, but is there really a point in reviewin games other people in The Escapist have already reviewed?

I suppose Yahtzee's hatred of repetition had been crushed under the heel of corporative needs.
ZP isn't really a review, no matter what people call it. It's more a humourous op-ed from a Brit in a sweet hat who makes a lot of gay and shit jokes.

Sort of unsurprising this game is terrible, though. I saw Giant Bomb's gameplay deal, and I couldn't hep but think "Wow, this will get old in three minutes."

Mr. Croshaw must have a much longer attention span than me.
 

Lordmurdalot

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Dec 11, 2010
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meh i quite enjoyed it, but im probaly biased as i loved the originals.

funny review as always yahtzee keep em coming