Zero Punctuation: Splatterhouse

Electrogecko

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Apr 15, 2010
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Games like this are about 15x more immature than any Mario game ever made.
rezaDN1992 said:
I hope he will do Donkey Kong next week. But he seemed more possitive about this game then some other reviewers. And I Am looking forward to his next award giving episode.
I'm sure his DKCR review will consist almost entirely of ripping on the mandatory motion controls. That and how the game is relatively similar to those of 15 years ago. I'd much rather see him review Kirby, because even though I enjoyed DK more, I literally can't think of a single legitimate criticism for Kirby. He can say that it's too fluffy and colorful and it's the least challenging game of all time, but these gripes point to the fact that the game is intended for children, and if he dismisses the game for that reason, he'll just look like a huge turd.
 

k-ossuburb

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Jul 31, 2009
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Copy and paste the script used in this ZP and replace the word Splatterhouse with Duke Nukem: Forever and I don't think you'll be able to notice much difference when the real DN:F review comes around.
 

Kittenmauler

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Aug 19, 2009
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Heraklitus said:
That was one of his worst ones. One too many REALLY tasteless, not very funny jokes.
100% disagree, I found that one funnier than anything he's done in months.
 

DTWolfwood

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Oct 20, 2009
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4:14 RoFL She'll remember you alright, not sure about love you more after. (less she into to that, in which case you have yourself a keeper)
 

CopperBoom

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Nov 11, 2009
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As funny as this was, I still think I might want to go through it once, not sure if it is a buy and if I bought it, it would be at no more than $20 in a few weeks'.

That silent final boss death slide card was endlessly amusing to me.
 

Neferius

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Sep 1, 2010
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Have Game-Studios seriously run out of Ideas, or is there really nothing better coming out this Christmas :(
I mean SERIOUSLY, all Yahtzee could find to do for his weekly tonsil-exercises was this? A remake of an Arcade game!?
We all know how usually turn-out :-/

This barely covers my weekly dose for sardonic British humor, and I NEED MY FIX!!! *foams*
 

Swifteye

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Apr 15, 2010
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comet5002 said:
I wish he'd stop reviewing all the currently coming out big titles and review some of the more obscure ones.

I had already seen previews for Splatterhouse and already decided that it looked like crap. I didn't need his review to reinforce that.

How about reviewing some lesser known titles so I can see if I'd rather buy those, eh?
Come back during the summer the does some lesser known game reviews during the dry season otherwise I believe the mission statement is to review new titles.
 

DBlack

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Jul 16, 2009
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Hmm is it just me or are his reviews becoming really predictable? Splatter house was really gory? Holy crap! come on man review something differant, something unexpected, something... strange.
 

rezaDN1992

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Jan 27, 2010
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Electrogecko said:
Games like this are about 15x more immature than any Mario game ever made.
rezaDN1992 said:
I hope he will do Donkey Kong next week. But he seemed more possitive about this game then some other reviewers. And I Am looking forward to his next award giving episode.
I'm sure his DKCR review will consist almost entirely of ripping on the mandatory motion controls. That and how the game is relatively similar to those of 15 years ago. I'd much rather see him review Kirby, because even though I enjoyed DK more, I literally can't think of a single legitimate criticism for Kirby. He can say that it's too fluffy and colorful and it's the least challenging game of all time, but these gripes point to the fact that the game is intended for children, and if he dismisses the game for that reason, he'll just look like a huge turd.
HE can't review Kirby. That game comes in Australia at Februari. I don't know why. But even the new legend of zelda comes earlier in europa than Kirby.
 

Brawndo

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Jun 29, 2010
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HankMan said:
I didn't mind the mic Yahtzee.
What I did mind was you reviewing a game I couldn't care less about!
I'm sure he'll take the personal preferences of anonymous screennames into consideration for his next video
 

ZippyDSMlee

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Sep 1, 2007
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Its still better than Fist of the north star and as far as brawlers go its the best one this or last year.
 

ramboondiea

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Oct 11, 2010
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screw you yahtzee haha
to be honest i fair like the game, it was a fun couple of hours of mindless fun, its the best i can expect from a game like this, im surprised he didnt mention the fact that the screen was difficult to see when killing loads, im also surprised at the lack of menstruation jokes
 

geldonyetich

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Aug 2, 2006
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I liked the "this bores mighty Caesar" aside.

When I first saw this I thought perhaps he was going to do a classic gaming review of the original Splatterhouse in a retrospective, "this is a good game," manner, like he did Psychonauts. Nope, apparently this was a remake of a game he never particularly liked.
 

JaymesFogarty

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Aug 19, 2009
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Splatterhouse never really appealed to me, and Yahtzee aptly summed up why. The entire point of the game, (violence and nudity to the extreme) feel a little too, "me too!" In other words, it's the little kid in year 5 who paints his face red and stabs classmates to glean whatever delicious attention he can.
 

De Ronneman

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Dec 30, 2009
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When I saw what game you were going to review, I giggled in anticipation. I was not let down and smirked at the Roman empire reference and Beethoven bossfights^^
 

JUMBO PALACE

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Jun 22, 2020
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Personally, I had a lot of fun with this game. Yes it has some glaring flaws, but overall I thought it was a fun experience, and I didn't notice any bugs in my game (360 version)
 

JPArbiter

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Oct 14, 2010
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came so close to "it's like 'God of War' but..."

still, the mere fact that this is a brawler that actually involves brawling and not using weapons at the end of 10 foot long chains makes this a buy.

thanks Uncle Chris for the gift card! Happy Hanukkah!