Zero Punctuation: Splatterhouse

[Fullmetal99012]

Who is Lee Drummand?

 

[Fullmetal99012]

I really don't like this sort of game. There are just far too many of them. Its dull. congrats for not mentioning GOW though...

The GOW mentio is so subtle. He says Wad Of Gore Twice.

"In classic wad of gore fashion, you can grab weakened enemies to do finishing moves,"

Flip Wad of gore around a bit and what do you get.......

God of war --- With a spare (e)

 

[Thespian]

"And put your dick in all kinds of magical things. Sometimes I like going to hospitals for terminally ill children and just rubbing it in."

~Zero Punctuation, 2010

Out of context quoting shall be your downfall, Croshaw.

 

[Misho-]

"Sometimes I like going to hospitals for terminally ill children and just rubbing it in"... this and " Desert Bus for Hope"... All in the same site

 

[MiloBMofo]

I haven't played the previous installments so apart from a few BIG HUGE MAJOR DEVELOPMENT flaws i enjoy this game

1; loading times
2; repetative 'splatter kills' either head pop head stretch or torso rip or arm rip
3; lame anti climatic end boss fight
4; those glowing blue licker esq things (the worst concieved enemy for a while !)

YATHZEE how could you not mention the loading screens and those glowie blue guys ??!

my fave bits of this game where the impaling sections a bit tricky at first (the high mounted spikes) but the anal probe seats where a good move )

give the game a chance you might like it

now on to enslaved finally

 

[thefrizzlefry]

Dammit.. I wanted this one, if only because it's the only game smart enough to get cool thrash/crossover/death metal bands like Municipal Waste and The Accused on the soundtrack.
SERIOUSLY, ROCK BAND. I. WANT. MUNI WASTE.

 

[samaugsch]

That's just his schtick, man. I mean, hey, he poked at MY buttons with his whole "YMCA" thing, but I still recognize comedy for what it is, no matter how dark. And besides, he probably doesn't read the forums anyway.

And about the whole R18+ thing, I think the way to make the industry actually listen is to hit them where it hurts: their pockets. People need to spread the word about calling bullshit when they see one, and I salute everybody in the Escapist and other gaming-centric websites like it for being on the forefront of doing as such. If we could get just enough people to shout "AWW HELL NO!" whenever the industry decided to be stupid, I think this beloved medium of ours could grow up to encompass some very interesting potentials.

Wishful thinking, yes, but maybe just for now. I mean, after all, whoever thought that a niche market that was started by a yellow blob eating pellets and ghosts could transform into multi-national, multi-million dollars industry as it is today, right?

I know that's his style, but... *sigh* I do miss the times when he wasn't trying too hard to be funny, when he didn't pay attention to the forums complaining en masse when he wasn't being funny. He's a goddamn game critic, he's not a comedian! I know he's funny, but I do like humour and intelligent criticism to be balanced appropriately, and the scales are tipping in the favour of the former.

That's a good plan- I do agree with you- but we have the die-hard fans that will follow Final Fantasy, Star Wars, Metal Gear Solid, Pokemon, Mario and the like to the ends of the Earth. Mind you, Mario is still good, but the fans won't admit that the franchises that they loved since birth are stagnating. I've tried arguing that Final Fantasy XIII sucks, but no-one listens to me.

He's not a comedian? Funny. I always assumed he was. >_>

 

[lt.overkill]

Never have I ever watched an episode of Zero Punctuation that has mentioned food so bloody much.
NOW I HUNGERRR

 

[Vohn_exel]

"Bugged up the but" was one of the funniest things I've heard you say in a while, lol. My friend and I were just getting around to talking about this game a few nights ago because he had played the old ones, and I hadn't.

 

[TheDarkestDerp]

While I agree with much of yahtzee's review, I still plunked down the cash for Splatterhouse. I didn't expect it to be a great game by any stretch of the word and it turned out about how I expected. Not really bad, but not really great either.

Admittedly, much of why I wanted it was for the nostalgia, fond memories of days gone by on Genesis gaming away. Being able to unlock the original three and re-live some of that nostalgia made up for much of the issues with the game itself.

 

[timmytom1]

Dammit.. I wanted this one, if only because it's the only game smart enough to get cool thrash/crossover/death metal bands like Municipal Waste and The Accused on the soundtrack.
SERIOUSLY, ROCK BAND. I. WANT. MUNI WASTE.

Me too. Wrong Answer and Art of Partying would fucking rule

 

[Chibz]

Nobody has given a good (or even passable) score to this game... I think it was a poor year for Namco

Actually...

Fangoria: 3.5/4
Dread Central: 4.5/5
Micah C of Blistered Thumbs: 7/10
Hooked Gamers: 7.8/10
Game Vortex: 80/100
Gaming Nexus: B (Letter grades, lol)
The Gamers Temple: 80/100
Playstation Universe: 7.5/10.

No "at least passable" scores? Gotta remember, that since Splatterhouse isn't really a huge name series (Like Shovelware of Duty or Halo) it has to *Shudder* succeed based solely on its own merits.

 

[Misho-]

Nobody has given a good (or even passable) score to this game... I think it was a poor year for Namco

Actually...

Fangoria: 3.5/4
Dread Central: 4.5/5
Micah C of Blistered Thumbs: 7/10
Hooked Gamers: 7.8/10
Game Vortex: 80/100
Gaming Nexus: B (Letter grades, lol)
The Gamers Temple: 80/100
Playstation Universe: 7.5/10.

No "at least passable" scores? Gotta remember, that since Splatterhouse isn't really a huge name series (Like Shovelware of Duty or Halo) it has to *Shudder* succeed based solely on its own merits.

I actually have to thank you... Not by your implied sarcasm but ratter for opening my spectrum of reviewers out there. I used to only check sites like IGN, Gamespot, Gametrailers (who haven't done a review properly), Escapist, 1up, Game Informer and such... I will give those others a try
Thank you stranger

 

[Chibz]

I actually have to thank you... Not by your implied sarcasm but ratter for opening my spectrum of reviewers out there. I used to only check sites like IGN, Gamespot, Gametrailers (who haven't done a review properly), Escapist, 1up, Game Informer and such... I will give those others a try
Thank you stranger

But... I wasn't being sarcastic. Being a huge name release has many advantages for most games. For example, most sites that do reviews are likely paid big bucks to advertise the game. And they won't allow a "negative" review to be posted, in case it angers the client. IE: Why Gamespot has zero credibility.

The other major advantage is reviewers not wanting to give a negative score for fear of backlash from fans of the series. IE: Being cowardly.

 

[zarix2311]

well... looks like it's time to play portal again.

 

[Nazulu]

Exactly what I've been saying for ages, they should write the start and end then screw up in the middle instead.

 

[ChaosStep]

You've let me down this time Yatz!
If there's anything this game wins an award for it would be blatantly ripping off Lovecraft and no one noticing.

"Henry" West re-animating bodies?
He even says "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" to fucking call on the monsters.
Not to mention the whole last level is plastered with Cthulhu statues.

 

[xdiesp]

Call me crazy, but I found it more violent when the Shadow of the Colossus guy stabbed the things, than when this super Jason Voorehees rips people apart.

Jason is a ludicrous monster among monsters, that's like his daytime job. They expect no less, that's their contract. Instead the SOTC guy was harming stuff that looked like docile animals, which didn't understand why you were beating them... that was just mean.