Zero Punctuation: Split Second: Velocity

OceanRunner

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Mar 18, 2009
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Any game that tries a T.V style presentation is doing it wrong, and need reminding that they're working on a game. Plus a racing game needs as many tracks as can be fit without compromising the gameplay. Also, if the game involves power-ups they shouldn't punish a player for doing well, like the Blue Turtle Shell in Mario Kart.
 

TheYellowCellPhone

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Sep 26, 2009
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Holy shit, no one got probation/suspension on a ZP video. This is a new record.

Other than that, nice review, and I'm disappointed in myself for laughing at the pregnant women joke.
 

Something Amyss

Aswyng and Amyss
Dec 3, 2008
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I actually passed my driving test because the guy administering it thought he was going to die and didn't want to do it again.

The review actually seemed to cover my experience with the demo. I was wondering if there was anything more, and even taking ZP with a grain of salt, it appears not.
 

wooty

Vi Britannia
Aug 1, 2009
4,252
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I played Michael Bay racing at a friends house, it was ok but personally it has nothing on the Burnout series. Essentially, its been done before.
 

Therumancer

Citation Needed
Nov 28, 2007
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I think Yahtzee missed commenting on the obvious, or perhaps avoided it. The reason why they have so few tracks is probably not because Micky Mouse lacks talent as a gay S&M dominator and his legion of computer programmers/boy toys were as a result not working hoping he'd punish them better (or whatever sick thing Yahtzee was implying), but simply because Mickey realizes he can sell additional courses to the players, especially ones from this demographic, as DLC. Will you pay $5 for them to recycle art elements and let you drive down the same track in reverse? Will you pay $15 for three new courses? Well if "you" are the target audience for this game, like most "shooter" players the answer to this is probably "yes".

I'm pretty sure as Mickey has a bunch of well oiled, whip mark covered computer programmers resting in a form of contented fear in the cages he keeps in the dungeon under the Magic Kingdom Castle (in hopes Minnie won't find out), having produced plenty of maps that are simply being held back until Scrooge Mcduck tells Mickey that his analysis of the market dictates that it's the ideal time for a release.

Also you can now thank Yahtzee for scarring me for life, the image of a whip wielding Mickey (or at least a guy with mouse ears) lashing a computer programmer will cause me never to view him the same way again. The pain... oh god the psychological pain...
 

Onyx Oblivion

Borderlands Addict. Again.
Sep 9, 2008
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You know...you can DODGE those things...

And you have to time your explosions. Yahtzee here just seems to randomly hit the button when the big icon pops up.

Christ, if I sucked as hard as Yahtzee at the game, I'd hate it, too.
 

OuendanCyrus

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Jun 16, 2010
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I know what he means when he said he likes to play racing games, but not good at them, same as me XD

Didn't know which game to buy from this and Blur though.
 

jthm

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Jun 28, 2008
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Don't worry about touching the game making you a prick yahtzee. You're already a prick, but you're a prick with an accent and a reasonable approach to critiquing games. It is why you have a much beloved show after all.
 

Siege_TF

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May 9, 2010
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Therumancer said:
until Scrooge Mcduck tells Mickey that his analysis of the market dictates that it's the ideal time for a release.
Scrooge actually employed someome for stuff like market analysis, money counting, and other number crunching stuff when he's not in his robocop-on-a-unicycle armor. Scrooge himself was an adventurer until the end (if you count the EU ending as canon in the NA Disney franchise).
 

Smokescreen

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Dec 6, 2007
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The one oversight of the review was that the player has the ability to change the tracks via powerups causing things to explode.

So saying that there aren't any track variations is a little bit misleading; it's just that you have to earn those variants. That said; I'm only about 3 Seasons in and it's a solid enough game for what it is but I have started to notice a repetition in tracks and began to wonder about that....
 

Aura Guardian

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Apr 23, 2008
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TheYellowCellPhone said:
Holy shit, no one got probation/suspension on a ZP video. This is a new record.

Other than that, nice review, and I'm disappointed in myself for laughing at the pregnant women joke.
If only it were true. Sadly...
ForensicYOYO said:
What the hell! Probation? all I did was post the number1 to save my spot so I could come back after I watched it and edit my message. Was that so wrong? O and I got 7 days for it!?! what a load of crap.
OT: I liked your review as usual.
 

Jack Bz

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Jul 16, 2010
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Man, I really think this is your funniest in a while. The electric wheelchair camera analogy is probably my favourite one you've done.
 

SimGrave

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Jan 7, 2010
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Well I get the point that the game structure is weak, but it never got in the way of appreciating it. I watch and enjoy every Emmerich, Bruckheimer and even Bay movies and I'm proud of it. My point is I like being blasted with big explosions. So I could say that I fit in the testosterone cave man category. If you are like me, then give Split "stroke" Second a chance.
 

ninjajoeman

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Mar 13, 2009
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ForensicYOYO said:
What the hell! Probation? all I did was post the number1 to save my spot so I could come back after I watched it and edit my message. Was that so wrong? O and I got 7 days for it!?! what a load of crap.
OT: I liked your review as usual.
your kind makes me sick. well those that think its ok to go FIRST HEY LOOK AT ME IM ON TOP OF ALL YOUR POSTS.
 

Kif

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Jun 2, 2009
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I bought it after it got good write ups from proper critics. It's not bad, I did find myself playing it purely to complete it after the stages got stale.