Zero Punctuation: Split Second: Velocity

[teh_Canape]

oh yahtzee, you dont disappoint

however, in case it was the pc version you were reviewing, you forgot something kinda important, the return of SplitScreen multiplayer on pc gaming


however, I find it to be real fun, especially blowing the car in front of me into shit right in the finish line so I get first ^.^

 

[Orcus The Ultimate]

Split Second: Velocity

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Split/Second: Velocity

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I Absolutely agree in almost everything, might i suggest you to try playing Blur...XD

it is fun, has some basic troglodyte strategy, but that's it.

 

[8-Bit Grin]

Haven't I already heard this review somewhere...?
*grumble* In every game magazine known to exist *grumble*
Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't reviews supposed to... you know, review and rate?
Perhaps I'm looking at this all the wrong way.
Zero Punctuation is a parody critic, so I should expect the same reviews with a sarcastic and off color twist.
Sometimes I feel it would be even better if Yahtzee brought up points not generally discussed though.
Particularly annoying pieces of gameplay that most reviews cast a blind eye towards.

 

[googleback]

Dear Yahtzee,

WOULD YOU KINDLY call Jerry Bruckheimer and explain to him that i've already seen The Sorcerers Apprentice and found it a moderatley pleasurable distraction from an otherwise uneventful afternoon.

that is all.

 

[halbarad]

"Yes, Life was tough in Thatcher's Britain"

This caught me by surprise and made me cough up the water I was drinking. Nearly made me choke but well worth if for the laugh!

 

[RobfromtheGulag]

Having this and Blink come out in the same month was too much for my prehistoric inclinations to ignore, and I picked Split/Second up. I convinced myself I was getting better at drifting, but finally threw the game away at season 6 after having again been inexplicably beaten by a truck a full lap ahead of me. When I drive that same truck the acceleration curve from 0-60mph was something like 14 seconds, so I don't know how he did it.

 

[RTR]

Sweet review, Yahtzee

 

[xGreenmanx]

this was brilliant. some of your points were absolutely spot on.

 

[Nazulu]

The whole random unavoidable obstacles thing and repetitive race tracks is what made Mario Kart Wii more annoying than fun. Great review Yahtzee, Split/Second can be thrown on the large pile of the other crappy quality games.

 

[Misterian]

You made made my new favorite review, Yahtzee.

And it's convinced me not to get Split Second, Might get the same appeal of it watching a youtube playthrough.

 

[Pescetarian]

Secret World Government is a reference to "Yahtzee Takes On The World", a webcomic which he made from 2000-2002, before ZP. I actually like it better than his current work because he did a lot of surreal humor on a topic that is completely different from gaming: taking over the world, with the help of an alien, his Borg guardian angel, an anime chick and a guy who's half himself and half himself from a parallel universe.

 

[merman]

You know, I still can't make up my mind which to get out of Split;:Sec'ond/Veloc~ity or Blur, and this review didn't help. That's not Yahtzee's fault, more my own view/taste in games.

 

[Greenshoes]

Have you ever tried watching zero punctuation when just coming home from a drunken binge, it seems like Yahzee talks even faster and is even funnier, strange huh?

 

[Brainst0rm]

It's always more fun when Yahtzee obliterates a game that I don't care about at all. SMG2 was painful.

 

[Shawn112]

All racing games are nothing more than point-click adventures for people with attention deficit disorder.

i.e. pointless and boring.

 

[Waif]

Great episode ^~^! Though I do wonder what the target audience was for this game o~O!

 

[Thurmer]

fetus joke... not cool or funny just disgusting

 

[romxxii]

not as much vitriol as I expected, and the dead baby comedy kinda falls flat. C'mon Yahtzee, you can do better!

 

[pika west]

Am I the only one that noticed that he used a 2nd generation Mazda Miata in rainbow colors has his race car graphic? What's going on there...

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

This is the best review he's done in a while. Acerbic and on the money.