Zero Punctuation: The Orange Box
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
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Ya a poor teen adventure where the robot stars play 2nd fiddle to the dumb fleshy cast is never a good thing....tiw said:
I tried hard to give it a chance.....I watched it twice at home that frist week...and like many films its been gutted and remade for the 12-2X sect of sheeple to sell twice too and not...anyone with a brain.....
Its rather disrtubing when a fun and simple comic flick like Hellboy is dissed and posh trash like Xmen or blade or what not is drooled over.....*sigh*
Hellboy was indeed fun, I just thought it felt a little meatless overall. But then, without an entire arc, all comic books, and many times their movies, feel a little lacking.
Crash was indeed awesome and certainly a step up from current Hollywood. Transformers was good as a popcorn movie, if you sit there and let it entertain you without worrying why the SecDef doesn't actually seem to know what a shortwave radio is or how it works, then it's all right.
I get the distinct feeling that lightbulb didn't play all the way, or any of the way for that matter, through puzzle nineteen. Before that, yes the puzzles were pretty easy and the humor, while funny, didn't really have any gravitas to it. Post that, well it really is awesome. Of course there are probably much harder puzzle games out there, in fact I know there are being an Interactive Fiction player, and better story lines, none of this changes the fact that Portal is fun, has a good storyline that is exactly what it's meant to be, a short side story, and the puzzles are engaging while still allowing some of us who aren't rubix cube experts to get through the whole story. I've also heard the advanced mode is all that and a bag of chips in terms of puzzle complexity, but haven't really tried them.
Crash was indeed awesome and certainly a step up from current Hollywood. Transformers was good as a popcorn movie, if you sit there and let it entertain you without worrying why the SecDef doesn't actually seem to know what a shortwave radio is or how it works, then it's all right.
I get the distinct feeling that lightbulb didn't play all the way, or any of the way for that matter, through puzzle nineteen. Before that, yes the puzzles were pretty easy and the humor, while funny, didn't really have any gravitas to it. Post that, well it really is awesome. Of course there are probably much harder puzzle games out there, in fact I know there are being an Interactive Fiction player, and better story lines, none of this changes the fact that Portal is fun, has a good storyline that is exactly what it's meant to be, a short side story, and the puzzles are engaging while still allowing some of us who aren't rubix cube experts to get through the whole story. I've also heard the advanced mode is all that and a bag of chips in terms of puzzle complexity, but haven't really tried them.
That movie actually made me feel horrible for not having read the comics first. I'm slowly collecting the graphic novels (and by slowly I mean I've only had one for months now...). I don't know if it's the style of the story or what, but for some reason Hellboy is one of my favorite movies. Maybe it's not so much in the plot as much as it is the character.
I'm actually looking forward to the game being made based on Hellboy. Ron Perlman I believe even plans on doing the voice acting.
...yeah, that was a bit pointless, but...yeah...
Hellboy is how they should do a comic flick swagger and fun drop the seedy posh and trendiness get to the core of the world the fiction and the charatcers, hell Punisher(04) is better than most of the most recent marvel flicks Ghost rider and emo spidy 3 are a joke I am afraid to see sliver suffer...at least the next batman and super man wont be as bad....
Gtfo. Get off my internets! No seriously though we're rubber and you're glue. Boing fwip!newage_lightbulb said:
About Portal, if you didn't find it challenging play the advanced/challenge maps. I thought the single player was easy myself. Also, I don't see how you didn't like the humor, maybe you have a defective humorchip? You ROBOT!!! You much have no emotion, I cried when I had to kill my only friend, companion cube.
As for Ep 2, there were only 333 green bugs, and you didn't have to kill them all, only if you want an achievement. How can you criticize a game like Half Life 2 without playing the whole thing?? You didn't even see the G-Man scene! And the word for what you're describing is linear. HL2 games in general make you go in a line, with some exceptions. Deal with it.
Sorry if that was a rambling response, but yeah: get of my INTERNETS!!
Great work. Thanks for the transcript.
When I meet gamers, people like the Half-Life series, but they don't *really* understand how great it really is. Now I know I am not alone. Those folks at Valve put EA to shame.
What an excellent review. Every review that puts us farther away from Peggle is a good review.
You the man, Yahtzee.
When I meet gamers, people like the Half-Life series, but they don't *really* understand how great it really is. Now I know I am not alone. Those folks at Valve put EA to shame.
What an excellent review. Every review that puts us farther away from Peggle is a good review.
You the man, Yahtzee.
Definitely a funny "review" although as a Half-Life fan, I was disappointed that it was too positive. The whole reason I watch zero punctuation is to listen to my favourite games get humourously slated whether I agree with the criticism or not.
Yes you can say the game is good (and I agree it is very good) but the lack of criticism after HL2:E2 did leave me "short changed" in a way.
Yes you can say the game is good (and I agree it is very good) but the lack of criticism after HL2:E2 did leave me "short changed" in a way.
Valve have set up a deal that ensures they (and the developer) get more of the cut from the sale than someone else normally would with EA, but yeah, it's still gallons of irony.
Crash was a pathetic excuse for a movie, if that's the best hollywood can come up with these days ( meaning let's curse and point at superficial racial issues constantly and pretend they're shocking ) then it only inforces the fact mainstream movies suck these days.SaraPh said:
Bad movies aside, thanks for the review again escapist. I've googled hl2 review, the headlines on ign and several other sites containing the words "awesome, epic and 9/10" I quickly turned to you guys as usual for a more realistic review. I'm sad to hear TF2 only has 3 maps, all with a mining theme. Stuff like that you often don't see in reviews. I will problably buy ep2 anyway because I'd like to see what happens to the story. Yet I know I'll regret it the moment I finish it, when expecting the same puzzles, liniear gameplay and shitty combine infantry AI.
My question, should I wait a bit knowing this or do portal and tf2 justify my purchase? Ep1 was a ripoff pricewise for the content it provided, I'm done giving valve money over and over for overly hyped games now.
i love yahtzee's reviews... but i simply think that in his desire to praise a 'thinking man's shooter' -and thus prove he is himself a thinking man- he overlooked many of the massive flaws in the orange box.
the first 3 games in the compilation are old... really old, and while i admit to being stunned by half life 2 3 years ago, it was a bore for me this time around... the hyper linear gameplay which was once forgiven in half life 2 years later is so incredibly annoying and obvious that it makes bioshock look like a free roaming game.
where bioshock stuffs the player in an leaking underwater tomb where the player has a good explanation for the boundaries of the world in which they exist, half life ep 2 takes place in the middle of a massive forest, which immediately makes the player wonder why they hell they can't walk off into the hills and do whatever the fuck they want.
If you pick an open setting like the wilderness, you'd better let the player navigate it like a free roaming wilderness, if not, just keep the player stuck in a mine shaft for hours on end, which hl ep 2 does quite frequently.
the second the player is exposed to a massive environment which they are artificially banned from exploring, it immediately destroys the immersion the developers were trying to foster, and it only makes the poor graphics and redundant puzzles more tedious.
the only notable editions that episode 1 and 2 bring to the half-life cannon are teamwork with alex and the mini striders, which weren't memorable enough to remember their names, unlike say, the brumak in gears of war which you didn't even get to fight...
or better yet, unlike the striders, which astounded me in half life 2.
Alex can't die. she's invulnerable, and the plot continues the trend of 'alex will not die, ever'. it's obvious that she's valve's baby, and immersion is again destroyed when alex refuses to die even after being attacked by 20 enemies at once.
it's nearly impossible to become attached to alex despite her stupid jokes and well choreographed animations because she can't ever be killed.
episode 1 and 2 are boring disappointments, i'd much rather be playing half life 3 than a couple of stale expansions to half life 2, which was once a mind blowing game - 3 years ago.
Team fortress 2 is very pretty, sporting a pixar-esque art style that really makes it feel unique, but didn't hold me very long... again, i found myself being dragged back to counterstrike source...
you may notice a reoccurring theme here... it's that the source engine is old and stale, and half life 2, packaged with hl2 deathmatch and cs:source are better than the orange box's compilation in every single imaginable way. what was once invigorating has become stale, with one exception.
Portal. portal is about 3 hours long if you want to complete the bonus maps, but the amazing feeling of being able to manipulate space and solid objects is incredibly invigorating...
like half life 2's gravity gun, the portal gun is the biggest innovation of the orange box...
The disembodied, homicidal Voice that condescendingly guides the player is fantastic...
I'd give the orange box 8/10... playing through episodes 1 and 2 was a bore, and tf2 was more fun to look at than play... so really i'm paying 50$ (on pc) for a 3 hour long game of portals...
the first 3 games in the compilation are old... really old, and while i admit to being stunned by half life 2 3 years ago, it was a bore for me this time around... the hyper linear gameplay which was once forgiven in half life 2 years later is so incredibly annoying and obvious that it makes bioshock look like a free roaming game.
where bioshock stuffs the player in an leaking underwater tomb where the player has a good explanation for the boundaries of the world in which they exist, half life ep 2 takes place in the middle of a massive forest, which immediately makes the player wonder why they hell they can't walk off into the hills and do whatever the fuck they want.
If you pick an open setting like the wilderness, you'd better let the player navigate it like a free roaming wilderness, if not, just keep the player stuck in a mine shaft for hours on end, which hl ep 2 does quite frequently.
the second the player is exposed to a massive environment which they are artificially banned from exploring, it immediately destroys the immersion the developers were trying to foster, and it only makes the poor graphics and redundant puzzles more tedious.
the only notable editions that episode 1 and 2 bring to the half-life cannon are teamwork with alex and the mini striders, which weren't memorable enough to remember their names, unlike say, the brumak in gears of war which you didn't even get to fight...
or better yet, unlike the striders, which astounded me in half life 2.
Alex can't die. she's invulnerable, and the plot continues the trend of 'alex will not die, ever'. it's obvious that she's valve's baby, and immersion is again destroyed when alex refuses to die even after being attacked by 20 enemies at once.
it's nearly impossible to become attached to alex despite her stupid jokes and well choreographed animations because she can't ever be killed.
episode 1 and 2 are boring disappointments, i'd much rather be playing half life 3 than a couple of stale expansions to half life 2, which was once a mind blowing game - 3 years ago.
Team fortress 2 is very pretty, sporting a pixar-esque art style that really makes it feel unique, but didn't hold me very long... again, i found myself being dragged back to counterstrike source...
you may notice a reoccurring theme here... it's that the source engine is old and stale, and half life 2, packaged with hl2 deathmatch and cs:source are better than the orange box's compilation in every single imaginable way. what was once invigorating has become stale, with one exception.
Portal. portal is about 3 hours long if you want to complete the bonus maps, but the amazing feeling of being able to manipulate space and solid objects is incredibly invigorating...
like half life 2's gravity gun, the portal gun is the biggest innovation of the orange box...
The disembodied, homicidal Voice that condescendingly guides the player is fantastic...
I'd give the orange box 8/10... playing through episodes 1 and 2 was a bore, and tf2 was more fun to look at than play... so really i'm paying 50$ (on pc) for a 3 hour long game of portals...
Wait, so you say the source engine is stale yet you go back to a game which runs on said stale engine?
No, they publish all versions, but Valve retains IP ownership. EA is brokering a third party to do the PS3 port. Valve handled the PC and 360 versions themselves.Scypemonk said: