Zero Punctuation: The Orange Box
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
i love yahtzee's reviews... but i simply think that in his desire to praise a 'thinking man's shooter' -and thus prove he is himself a thinking man- he overlooked many of the massive flaws in the orange box.
the first 3 games in the compilation are old... really old, and while i admit to being stunned by half life 2 3 years ago, it was a bore for me this time around... the hyper linear gameplay which was once forgiven in half life 2 years later is so incredibly annoying and obvious that it makes bioshock look like a free roaming game.
where bioshock stuffs the player in an leaking underwater tomb where the player has a good explanation for the boundaries of the world in which they exist, half life ep 2 takes place in the middle of a massive forest, which immediately makes the player wonder why they hell they can't walk off into the hills and do whatever the fuck they want.
If you pick an open setting like the wilderness, you'd better let the player navigate it like a free roaming wilderness, if not, just keep the player stuck in a mine shaft for hours on end, which hl ep 2 does quite frequently.
the second the player is exposed to a massive environment which they are artificially banned from exploring, it immediately destroys the immersion the developers were trying to foster, and it only makes the poor graphics and redundant puzzles more tedious.
the only notable editions that episode 1 and 2 bring to the half-life cannon are teamwork with alex and the mini striders, which weren't memorable enough to remember their names, unlike say, the brumak in gears of war which you didn't even get to fight...
or better yet, unlike the striders, which astounded me in half life 2.
Alex can't die. she's invulnerable, and the plot continues the trend of 'alex will not die, ever'. it's obvious that she's valve's baby, and immersion is again destroyed when alex refuses to die even after being attacked by 20 enemies at once.
it's nearly impossible to become attached to alex despite her stupid jokes and well choreographed animations because she can't ever be killed.
episode 1 and 2 are boring disappointments, i'd much rather be playing half life 3 than a couple of stale expansions to half life 2, which was once a mind blowing game - 3 years ago.
Team fortress 2 is very pretty, sporting a pixar-esque art style that really makes it feel unique, but didn't hold me very long... again, i found myself being dragged back to counterstrike source...
you may notice a reoccurring theme here... it's that the source engine is old and stale, and half life 2, packaged with hl2 deathmatch and cs:source are better than the orange box's compilation in every single imaginable way. what was once invigorating has become stale, with one exception.
Portal. portal is about 3 hours long if you want to complete the bonus maps, but the amazing feeling of being able to manipulate space and solid objects is incredibly invigorating...
like half life 2's gravity gun, the portal gun is the biggest innovation of the orange box...
The disembodied, homicidal Voice that condescendingly guides the player is fantastic...
I'd give the orange box 8/10... playing through episodes 1 and 2 was a bore, and tf2 was more fun to look at than play... so really i'm paying 50$ (on pc) for a 3 hour long game of portals...
the first 3 games in the compilation are old... really old, and while i admit to being stunned by half life 2 3 years ago, it was a bore for me this time around... the hyper linear gameplay which was once forgiven in half life 2 years later is so incredibly annoying and obvious that it makes bioshock look like a free roaming game.
where bioshock stuffs the player in an leaking underwater tomb where the player has a good explanation for the boundaries of the world in which they exist, half life ep 2 takes place in the middle of a massive forest, which immediately makes the player wonder why they hell they can't walk off into the hills and do whatever the fuck they want.
If you pick an open setting like the wilderness, you'd better let the player navigate it like a free roaming wilderness, if not, just keep the player stuck in a mine shaft for hours on end, which hl ep 2 does quite frequently.
the second the player is exposed to a massive environment which they are artificially banned from exploring, it immediately destroys the immersion the developers were trying to foster, and it only makes the poor graphics and redundant puzzles more tedious.
the only notable editions that episode 1 and 2 bring to the half-life cannon are teamwork with alex and the mini striders, which weren't memorable enough to remember their names, unlike say, the brumak in gears of war which you didn't even get to fight...
or better yet, unlike the striders, which astounded me in half life 2.
Alex can't die. she's invulnerable, and the plot continues the trend of 'alex will not die, ever'. it's obvious that she's valve's baby, and immersion is again destroyed when alex refuses to die even after being attacked by 20 enemies at once.
it's nearly impossible to become attached to alex despite her stupid jokes and well choreographed animations because she can't ever be killed.
episode 1 and 2 are boring disappointments, i'd much rather be playing half life 3 than a couple of stale expansions to half life 2, which was once a mind blowing game - 3 years ago.
Team fortress 2 is very pretty, sporting a pixar-esque art style that really makes it feel unique, but didn't hold me very long... again, i found myself being dragged back to counterstrike source...
you may notice a reoccurring theme here... it's that the source engine is old and stale, and half life 2, packaged with hl2 deathmatch and cs:source are better than the orange box's compilation in every single imaginable way. what was once invigorating has become stale, with one exception.
Portal. portal is about 3 hours long if you want to complete the bonus maps, but the amazing feeling of being able to manipulate space and solid objects is incredibly invigorating...
like half life 2's gravity gun, the portal gun is the biggest innovation of the orange box...
The disembodied, homicidal Voice that condescendingly guides the player is fantastic...
I'd give the orange box 8/10... playing through episodes 1 and 2 was a bore, and tf2 was more fun to look at than play... so really i'm paying 50$ (on pc) for a 3 hour long game of portals...
Wait, so you say the source engine is stale yet you go back to a game which runs on said stale engine?
No, they publish all versions, but Valve retains IP ownership. EA is brokering a third party to do the PS3 port. Valve handled the PC and 360 versions themselves.Scypemonk said:
Apparently not a good selling game (because big sales = shit). Though given that Half life itself (which isn't shit based on what he said) was one of the biggest selling games ever, his theory seems somewhat amateur. Anyhows I wouldn't waste your time arguing with him. Play TF2 instead it's much more rewarding.hunterm16a2 said:
Look, as much as I love Half-Life 2, there's no way I would get angry at you for calling it stupid; even my own brother gets bored with it easily. It's calling everyone HERE stupid that gets you a punch in the mouth. Just be careful with who you're offending next time. (mods: I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but generally it's warning first, punishment afterwards)newage_lightbulb3 said:
Will do!Kadayi said:Apparently not a good selling game (because big sales = shit). Though given that Half life itself (which isn't shit based on what he said) was one of the biggest selling games ever, his theory seems somewhat amateur. Anyhows I wouldn't waste your time arguing with him. Play TF2 instead it's much more rewarding.hunterm16a2 said:
Noted.Katana314 said:
**Edit: To expound.
I would agree that a layered approach to forum moderation is optimal. However, these ZP threads have been attracting new users more quickly than ... something stinky attracts buzzing insects. That is to say very quickly. And thickly.
Someone entering the forum with a low or non-existent post count who immediately acts like an ass isn't likely to self moderate - or listen to reason. (Or take a hint, apparently.) It may seem to the outside observer that banning such an individual is a bit harsh, or arbitrary, but it's not. Believe me, I've seen it far too many times to have any illusions about how such incidents will play out.
However, this note isn't for them. They can continue to post at forums where such behavior is expected or encouraged. We will not miss them. This note is for those of you who've been good forum citizens and attempted remain aware of the preferred tone of these forums. To you folks, I say: thank you. You'll find that your efforts will not be ignored should you run afoul of our expectations.
It is also possible for a banning to be lifted. There are even some among you who have been re-instated. In these cases, humility, contrition and reason will carry you far further than mocking scorn, I assure you. It's just not in anyone's best interests to abuse the guys holding the keys to the monkey cage. There's simply no margin in it - for anyone. Not even for me. Monday mornings are miserable enough without having to swing the ban hammer.
/mod.
That's a fair question, and the answer is: blatant trolling will earn you a warning or banning depending on the circumstances and the moderators' discretion.TheDarkArchon said:
Everyone has a bad day, and we try not to hold that against folks who've otherwise been good forum citizens. But, as I said above, when someone comes here with the express purpose of being a jerk, it's not worth arguing with them about it.
Excellent work, newage_lightbulb. The Aperture Science Laboratory reminds you that troll hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign#######CCCHHHHHHHHHKKKKKKKKKK baked, and then there will be cake.
"These mediocre conformist products are just fodder for the dump sheeple! Im so special that im way above having fun with that!" would sound alot less dumb if he could just accept that other people can have different tastes without being "stupid". Yet, alas lightbulb has pretty much shown us his attitude so i dont think a warning would really have done much good.
Wheeee! T-~48h
It does kind of sadden me to see the basic trolls being washed ashore by Yathzees reviews, but i guess theres a downside to everything. Then again its not exactly unexpected and its pretty much the reason forum moderation&the banhammer exist in the first place.
Wheeee! T-~48h
Its hard to have fun with a limited and unpolished product when its sold on more than being mindless fun, this is why Halo 3 can be more fun than Bioshock at least we know 1 is mindless fun the other tries to be to many things to to many people.Snap07 said:
And now, we re-instate the game debate.ZippyDSMlee said:
As for the lightbulb, it is extinguished and forgotten...
I'm assuming Bioshock is the mindless fun?
uh i cant agree on bioshock being to complex or to unpolished though sometimes i enjoy casual mindless stuff but also complex games are fun to alot of people id rather say that simple game concepts are more limiting to some gamers so i dont quite see ur point i rather think it depends more on taste alsoZippyDSMlee said:
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Seriously now, do we really want to continue the Halo3 vs Bioshock,Casual vs Hardcore Gaming, Console vs PC automated-thread-inflation? Ive never ever seen any of it actually lead anywhere. One might as well settle the old Windows vs Linux debate in here...