Zero Punctuation: The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings

[KillahMate]

I really fail to see why it's considered unprofessional to review a game on a system that is not high end. If you personally know that you have a better computer, you can feel free to disregard the performance analysis.

It's not 'performance analysis'. He is unable to play the game and doesn't even know it. That thing where he complains that the character dodges slowly? It's because his system is ancient and the framerate is probably approaching single digits. THAT is why you play games on adequate computers. NOT so you can validate your manhood, but because then they WORK.

At least he discloses what system he was playing it on, so that intelligent people can go 'Hmm, he was only playing it on a presumably low-end laptop. I might get better performance out of it on my rig.'

'Played it on a laptop' doesn't mean anything. For fuck's sake, I've seen Alienware laptop monsters that can eat my rig with a teaspoon. My mom has a laptop that can just about run Duke Nukem - the one from 1996. WHAT laptop did you play it on, pray tell? Since Yahtzee is not a moron, he obviously just didn't care - which is pretty lame from a guy who plays games for a living.

(BTW, I vividly recall him playing Crysis 1 on his computer and enjoying the graphics very much. That laptop would have run Witcher 2 just fine. Did he lose it in a cupboard?)

The idea that only people with high end computers should be allowed to review games is so ridiculous it's like PC eugenics.

...Okay? I guess? Next I suppose you'll campaign that sports commentators do their work from the cheap seats, because giving them an excellent view of the match is 'elitist'.

 

[dantoddd]

also...if your expecting yahtzee to praise the witchter...what planet are you on? (not you obviously)

the planet where games like red dead redemption,just cause 2 & portal 2 exist.

you obviously didnt see his reveiw of the first one

this hard core-old school RPG, its just not his thing

i don't know what you qute mean by hardcore but in yahtzee's review of stalker he praised the game for being unforgiving. and i found stalker far more challenging than TW2.

 

[ROBOcity123]

He was really trying for this one, I still can hear his smug droll in the back of my mind...Someone pointed out that he missed the strong points and only focused on the weak ones. I think Yahtzee is more suited to the AAA gamer(polished all the way to the bank),and may never enjoy something truly innovative. I welcome The Witcher as a step in the right direction for PC RPG games.

 

[Vault101]

also...if your expecting yahtzee to praise the witchter...what planet are you on? (not you obviously)

the planet where games like red dead redemption,just cause 2 & portal 2 exist.

you obviously didnt see his reveiw of the first one

this hard core-old school RPG, its just not his thing

i don't know what you qute mean by hardcore but in yahtzee's review of stalker he praised the game for being unforgiving. and i found stalker far more challenging than TW2.

hardcore RPG as in the complexity, the numbers the leveling the skills all that old school RPG stuff, some people love that stuff, others dont see the apeal, which is part of the reason I said witcher is a love it/hate it game, because as far as RPG's go in that sense Id call it hardcore

stalker on the ohter hand is a hardcore shooter..a FPS which I think is more yahtzee;s cup of tea

 

[ROBOcity123]

Some people talk about the "Dark" aspects of the game. They are not simple quirks or niches, the game is quite graphic and intense with it's violence and blood thirst no other RPG can contend with it (that I have seen). I wouldn't recommend it for little kids and I wouldn't raise an eyebrow if a little kid played Dragon Age that's the difference here for me anyway.

 

[dantoddd]

also...if your expecting yahtzee to praise the witchter...what planet are you on? (not you obviously)

the planet where games like red dead redemption,just cause 2 & portal 2 exist.

you obviously didnt see his reveiw of the first one

this hard core-old school RPG, its just not his thing

i don't know what you qute mean by hardcore but in yahtzee's review of stalker he praised the game for being unforgiving. and i found stalker far more challenging than TW2.

hardcore RPG as in the complexity, the numbers the leveling the skills all that old school RPG stuff, some people love that stuff, others dont see the apeal, which is part of the reason I said witcher is a love it/hate it game, because as far as RPG's go in that sense Id call it hardcore

stalker on the ohter hand is a hardcore shooter..a FPS which I think is more yahtzee;s cup of tea

The witcher 2 isn't complex, it may be complicated, it's an action RPG. For example the level mechanic is pretty basic. DA:O is a complex game, well sort of. yahtzee enjoyed that.

And i would say STALKER is some between RPG & shooter.

 

[Vault101]

also...if your expecting yahtzee to praise the witchter...what planet are you on? (not you obviously)

the planet where games like red dead redemption,just cause 2 & portal 2 exist.

you obviously didnt see his reveiw of the first one

this hard core-old school RPG, its just not his thing

i don't know what you qute mean by hardcore but in yahtzee's review of stalker he praised the game for being unforgiving. and i found stalker far more challenging than TW2.

hardcore RPG as in the complexity, the numbers the leveling the skills all that old school RPG stuff, some people love that stuff, others dont see the apeal, which is part of the reason I said witcher is a love it/hate it game, because as far as RPG's go in that sense Id call it hardcore

stalker on the ohter hand is a hardcore shooter..a FPS which I think is more yahtzee;s cup of tea

The witcher 2 isn't complex, it may be complicated, it's an action RPG. For example the level mechanic is pretty basic. DA:O is a complex game, well sort of. yahtzee enjoyed that.

And i would say STALKER is some between RPG & shooter.

he enjoyed DA:O? well I didnt know that

anyway there;s one complaint Ive heard about witcher2 is that you have no Idea how to do comabt..or somthing

anhow it doesnt matter if yahtzee hats a game

and its much more complex than your averaage consolized game

anyway each to their own

 

[KillahMate]

Someone pointed out that he missed the strong points and only focused on the weak ones.

No, but he missed even the weak ones. That's the thing. The game he is talking about has no relation to reality.

 

[Ch@Z]

I still don't get why is called the Witcher.

It's like the word womanizer. The protagonist, Geralt, has sex with a lot of witches.

 

[Shamanic Rhythm]

I really fail to see why it's considered unprofessional to review a game on a system that is not high end. If you personally know that you have a better computer, you can feel free to disregard the performance analysis.

It's not 'performance analysis'. He is unable to play the game and doesn't even know it. That thing where he complains that the character dodges slowly? It's because his system is ancient and the framerate is probably approaching single digits. THAT is why you play games on adequate computers. NOT so you can validate your manhood, but because then they WORK.

At least he discloses what system he was playing it on, so that intelligent people can go 'Hmm, he was only playing it on a presumably low-end laptop. I might get better performance out of it on my rig.'

'Played it on a laptop' doesn't mean anything. For fuck's sake, I've seen Alienware laptop monsters that can eat my rig with a teaspoon. My mom has a laptop that can just about run Duke Nukem - the one from 1996. WHAT laptop did you play it on, pray tell? Since Yahtzee is not a moron, he obviously just didn't care - which is pretty lame from a guy who plays games for a living.

(BTW, I vividly recall him playing Crysis 1 on his computer and enjoying the graphics very much. That laptop would have run Witcher 2 just fine. Did he lose it in a cupboard?)

The idea that only people with high end computers should be allowed to review games is so ridiculous it's like PC eugenics.

...Okay? I guess? Next I suppose you'll campaign that sports commentators do their work from the cheap seats, because giving them an excellent view of the match is 'elitist'.

The point about the dodging is true, but you can chalk that up the the usual ZP exaggeration for comedic effect. If you think that a) it's worth getting seriously worked up about, and b) that alone is enough to stop people from buying the game, I suggest you lighten up.

Also, that's a ridiculous analogy to make about sports commentators. A football game is a static event watched by observers and relayed through commentary: a video game is something in which the audience actually takes part. They're not even vaguely comparable. The reason I will defend his right to review the game on a low-end system is that I have been screwed over before by companies that advertise games will run on my system, when they in fact do not (I'm looking at you, Funcom, and also Firaxis lately...) If all the reviewers are only using supercomputers, then poor scrubs like myself will just have to buy the game and hope it runs - and possibly waste money doing so, if it turns out that the minimum specs are a blatant lie.

 

[Fayth18]

I still don't get why is called the Witcher.

It's like the word womanizer. The protagonist, Geralt, has sex with a lot of witches.

I hope you are joking, because that isn't it at all.

 

[Ch@Z]

I still don't get why is called the Witcher.

It's like the word womanizer. The protagonist, Geralt, has sex with a lot of witches.

I hope you are joking, because that isn't it at all.

o rly?

 

[Kahunaburger]

also...if your expecting yahtzee to praise the witchter...what planet are you on? (not you obviously)

the planet where games like red dead redemption,just cause 2 & portal 2 exist.

you obviously didnt see his reveiw of the first one

this hard core-old school RPG, its just not his thing

i don't know what you qute mean by hardcore but in yahtzee's review of stalker he praised the game for being unforgiving. and i found stalker far more challenging than TW2.

hardcore RPG as in the complexity, the numbers the leveling the skills all that old school RPG stuff, some people love that stuff, others dont see the apeal, which is part of the reason I said witcher is a love it/hate it game, because as far as RPG's go in that sense Id call it hardcore

stalker on the ohter hand is a hardcore shooter..a FPS which I think is more yahtzee;s cup of tea

The witcher 2 isn't complex, it may be complicated, it's an action RPG. For example the level mechanic is pretty basic. DA:O is a complex game, well sort of. yahtzee enjoyed that.

And i would say STALKER is some between RPG & shooter.

Yeah, I'd describe (in comparison to Dragon Age) Witcher as simpler but tactically deeper. There are a lot fewer options, but those options tend to open up more tactical options than in Dragon Age. IMO, the emphasis in DA:O is more about optimizing your party, and if you do that there aren't as many tactical choices in each individual fight as in TW2.

 

[Jyggalag]

Yatzee has no patience and no taste for quality RPGs. Because like most non-committed adult gamers he needs to be fed with a spoon otherwise he won't find his arms or legs in a game.
The Witcher 2 is unquestionably the best RPG game in many years, at least since Baldur's Gate 2, but its also a hardcore RPG. You need to come prepared for a challenge, if you do you'll find it immensely rewarding and intellectually stimulating.

 

[Mudkipith]

I'm primarly a PC gamer and still found this review pretty funny; but the rampant anti-PC thing you've probably started isn't really worth it.

 

[Kahunaburger]

Yatzee has no patience and no taste for quality RPGs. Because like most non-committed adult gamers he needs to be fed with a spoon otherwise he won't find his arms or legs in a game.

I don't think that's quite fair - he personally doesn't like RPGs, but comprehends that many other people do. He basically ended this review with the same caveat he included in his The World Ends With You review: it's entirely possible the things he didn't like about it might be selling points for other people.

 

[rsvp42]

I'm primarly a PC gamer and still found this review pretty funny; but the rampant anti-PC thing you've probably started isn't really worth it.

But it's nice that he calls us out on it. It's easy to maintain a smug sense of superiority without really looking critically at the issue. PC elitists are right about some things, wrong about others. Or sometimes they're right for all the wrong reasons.

 

[KillahMate]

The point about the dodging is true, but you can chalk that up the the usual ZP exaggeration for comedic effect. If you think that a) it's worth getting seriously worked up about, and b) that alone is enough to stop people from buying the game, I suggest you lighten up.

I'm getting no more worked up about it than Yahtzee did But you'll note he has problems playing throughout the review - combat, button responses. It's all the same problem. It's a big part of why he thought the game doesn't work (if he indeed thought that, and didn't just make it up for comedic effect). As for b), of course not. I was just pointing out that he wasn't... telling the whole truth, to put it kindly. The PC gamers will know better, and the console gamers don't care anyway (as evident from this thread).

Also, that's a ridiculous analogy to make about sports commentators. A football game is a static event watched by observers and relayed through commentary: a video game is something in which the audience actually takes part. They're not even vaguely comparable. The reason I will defend his right to review the game on a low-end system is that I have been screwed over before by companies that advertise games will run on my system, when they in fact do not (I'm looking at you, Funcom, and also Firaxis lately...) If all the reviewers are only using supercomputers, then poor scrubs like myself will just have to buy the game and hope it runs - and possibly waste money doing so, if it turns out that the minimum specs are a blatant lie.

I'm sorry about your bad experiences with minimum specs - that's certainly happened to most of us at some point or another. But I think my point stands: a commentator's job (on radio especially) is to give us a feel for the match. The more and better he sees, the better impression he'll give to the listeners. If we become interested in the team, we'll maybe buy cheap seats for the next game (to stretch the metaphor a little bit), or even expensive seats, but we needed that insightful impression to know what to expect. If you see what I mean.

(As for min specs, really the only reliable thing is checking the forums for other people's experiences.)

 

[KillahMate]

I'm primarly a PC gamer and still found this review pretty funny; but the rampant anti-PC thing you've probably started isn't really worth it.

But it's nice that he calls us out on it. It's easy to maintain a smug sense of superiority without really looking critically at the issue. PC elitists are right about some things, wrong about others. Or sometimes they're right for all the wrong reasons.

But if he challenges PC elitists with a review that's factually wrong then they'll just become more entrenched and less likely to listen ("You see, Yahtzee's just making things up! We're not wrong, they're just all against us!"). If you want to force unwilling people to listen your argument must be flawless, not this Swiss cheese thing he's put out.

 

[cefm]

RPG's are supposed to be complex in plot and character development. Adding complexity to the combat, inventory, or crafting systems is just stupid and annoys the player. I play RPG's to get immersed in a story, not to be buried in awful menus.