At the end he sounded like that woman from Absolutely Fabulous when she's fighting with her daughter.
Zero Punctuation: The Witcher
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
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The game dose have story but the gameplay is....sad and the menus cumbersome its a bastard child of biowares CRPGS, I would rather pause and plan out my actions the hack and slash nature of it could have been great if they went with a control scheme more like Revenants...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revenant_(game)
bad gameplay design makes bad games.....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revenant_(game)
bad gameplay design makes bad games.....
Btw...
I finally found a LEGIT Article that criticizes The Witcher. It also talks about the story too, so maybe you might find it interesting.
http://www.gamedaily.com/games/the-witcher/pc/game-reviews/review/3106/1830/
It's hard to care about the story or any of the characters. Even though the game graphics generate some pretty good looking characters, they all lack facial expressions, and most don't even use hand gestures. With that said, characters rattle off lines while staring blankly into space, like statues with moving mouths. This game even has the silly role-playing convention where players can walk into any house and poke through the cupboards, cabinets and chests to take anything they please without repercussions. Then toss in the side story about non-human races like Dwarves and Elves forming guerilla squads against humans, and the narrative becomes almost impossible to take seriously, especially since the humans nicknamed these groups "squirrels."
I finally found a LEGIT Article that criticizes The Witcher. It also talks about the story too, so maybe you might find it interesting.
http://www.gamedaily.com/games/the-witcher/pc/game-reviews/review/3106/1830/
It's hard to care about the story or any of the characters. Even though the game graphics generate some pretty good looking characters, they all lack facial expressions, and most don't even use hand gestures. With that said, characters rattle off lines while staring blankly into space, like statues with moving mouths. This game even has the silly role-playing convention where players can walk into any house and poke through the cupboards, cabinets and chests to take anything they please without repercussions. Then toss in the side story about non-human races like Dwarves and Elves forming guerilla squads against humans, and the narrative becomes almost impossible to take seriously, especially since the humans nicknamed these groups "squirrels."
And kotor and other Crpgs have them?SilentScope001 said:
Bollocks....... the witcher has a interesting world a nice plot and ok charatcers the story/dialog got thrown through the dishwasher one to many times...the game play seems unfinished as dose the menu system.
All in all its the Crpg version of bioshock high theme/art low gameplay/ game design.
I haven't played The Witcher, and I might give it a try even despite Yahtzee's objections because I've heard that once you get past the confusing interface it actually grants you some REAL moral choices, rather than just presenting you with saint-or-Skeletor either-or options over and over again. But in spite of that, this review touched on a couple of things that I've been griping about for years:
1. Entertainment that pretends to me "mature" just because it has a lot of swearing and PG-13 sexual situations. Look at the late-night fratboy cartoons (criticizing Family Guy on the internet, even on a board that prides itself on having some semblance of intelligence, is a one-way ticket to flameville, but I hate it, so fuck you, I'll criticize it) that call themselves "for mature audiences" just because they have a lot of ugly characters with grating voices yammering about bodily functions. Why do things get rated "mature" by having some of the most immature material imaginable?
2. PC users' superiority complex. I've tried to stay out of the flame wars on here between the consoletards and the PC Master Race, but boy did I ever laugh when Yahtzee went on the tirade about "typically designed to be as complex and unintuitive as possible so that those dirty console-playing peasants don't ruin it for the glorious PC-gaming master race." (note that I am a PC gamer as well as a console gamer, so this isn't a "nyah nyah u PC snobs suck" so much as it's a "don't take our preferences so fucking seriously all the damn time")
3. And, indirectly, the lot of you who start yammering about how Yahtzee "isn't a real reviewer" and "isn't funny anymore" whenever he bashes a game you don't want him to bash.
1. Entertainment that pretends to me "mature" just because it has a lot of swearing and PG-13 sexual situations. Look at the late-night fratboy cartoons (criticizing Family Guy on the internet, even on a board that prides itself on having some semblance of intelligence, is a one-way ticket to flameville, but I hate it, so fuck you, I'll criticize it) that call themselves "for mature audiences" just because they have a lot of ugly characters with grating voices yammering about bodily functions. Why do things get rated "mature" by having some of the most immature material imaginable?
2. PC users' superiority complex. I've tried to stay out of the flame wars on here between the consoletards and the PC Master Race, but boy did I ever laugh when Yahtzee went on the tirade about "typically designed to be as complex and unintuitive as possible so that those dirty console-playing peasants don't ruin it for the glorious PC-gaming master race." (note that I am a PC gamer as well as a console gamer, so this isn't a "nyah nyah u PC snobs suck" so much as it's a "don't take our preferences so fucking seriously all the damn time")
3. And, indirectly, the lot of you who start yammering about how Yahtzee "isn't a real reviewer" and "isn't funny anymore" whenever he bashes a game you don't want him to bash.
My sentiments exactly. He says he states his opinion, and I believe it. He said some things were fun, even if the emphasis was somewhat more on the bad things, and he even gave Crysis a fair recommendation, so it isn't all mudslinging, right?Sylocat said:3. And, indirectly, the lot of you who start yammering about how Yahtzee "isn't a real reviewer" and "isn't funny anymore" whenever he bashes a game you don't want him to bash.
I don't think the great stallion is interested in bestiality games staring dumb blonde's...altho......Rodge said:
My main 2 complaints about the gameSylocat said:I haven't played The Witcher, and I might give it a try even despite Yahtzee's objections because I've heard that once you get past the confusing interface it actually grants you some REAL moral choices, rather than just presenting you with saint-or-Skeletor either-or options over and over again. But in spite of that, this review touched on a couple of things that I've been griping about for years:
1. Entertainment that pretends to me "mature" just because it has a lot of swearing and PG-13 sexual situations. Look at the late-night fratboy cartoons (criticizing Family Guy on the internet, even on a board that prides itself on having some semblance of intelligence, is a one-way ticket to flameville, but I hate it, so fuck you, I'll criticize it) that call themselves "for mature audiences" just because they have a lot of ugly characters with grating voices yammering about bodily functions. Why do things get rated "mature" by having some of the most immature material imaginable?
2. PC users' superiority complex. I've tried to stay out of the flame wars on here between the consoletards and the PC Master Race, but boy did I ever laugh when Yahtzee went on the tirade about "typically designed to be as complex and unintuitive as possible so that those dirty console-playing peasants don't ruin it for the glorious PC-gaming master race." (note that I am a PC gamer as well as a console gamer, so this isn't a "nyah nyah u PC snobs suck" so much as it's a "don't take our preferences so fucking seriously all the damn time")
3. And, indirectly, the lot of you who start yammering about how Yahtzee "isn't a real reviewer" and "isn't funny anymore" whenever he bashes a game you don't want him to bash.
1.it tries not to be a point and click action RPG and fails, dodging is cute until you realize it serves no real purpose other then..."hey this is moving from KOTO to a diablo clone wat to do let strow in dodge and remove most of the pause command system lulz"
2.Menu system and even combat is needlessly cumbersome and out of the box you cannot rebind the keys/commands right because of bugs.
Past all that the english dialog is annoying sometimes...I got to the point to drop the polish voice tracks in it and leave the wonky english subtitle in, the experience improves, is like moving from a poorly dubbed anime game to a import that sounds a hell of a lot better even if you have to learn to play it since you can't read it..only this you can read....
One could say this is like a game version of the the brotherhood of the wolf the myth and sex factors make it a worthwhile film same for the witcher more or less, theres enough in it to make it worth while if you can get over the kneeing in the groin parts.
the review also had me laughing, pretty much like like every yatzee so far, whether i played the reviewed game or not. but this one I found a bit too harsh. lots of stuff he critizes is true, yeah, the researching, the point-click-combat (that actually had me frustrated for half an hour till I got the yist of it, then it was cake). but it didn't bother me as much. the combat was actually pretty nice, different styles for different enemies/situation, like Kotor. Alchemy could be more intuitive, as well as the researching bit, but well, nobody's perfect. I got through it and I really enjoyed the game, even more than the Kotor or NWN series. The only game that got close in atmosphere was Gothic 1&2.
I thought Yathzee reviews were supposed to be 'intelligent'. That is what the ads say and private advertisements are always right and the state is always wrong.
First it was the potty humour and unnecessary sexual jokes. Now Yahtzee is dissin' on tha Witcha because it is apparently not easy and intuitive to use - which translates to 'I want instant gratification and I want it now'.
I believed the Escapist was about games as art, or at least something more than dumb mindless entertainment. But apparently for the loudest voice of the Escapist an RPG is considered bad if the interface is not watered down for console controllers with two buttons, 'Kill everything ninja style' and 'Kill everything manga style'.
I am sure Yathzee thinks the paragon of modern RPGs is God of War because it has the coolest moves. At least in God of War, you do not have to make that annoying and overly difficult choice between strong, fast and group attacks that totally draws you right out of the game. You do not even have to run around between NPCs who all seem to take this monster-pwning thing way too seriously, almost like they were a character in a role-playing setting.
I have not played The Witcher because it is not my kind of game, but with reviews like that, who needs EA?
First it was the potty humour and unnecessary sexual jokes. Now Yahtzee is dissin' on tha Witcha because it is apparently not easy and intuitive to use - which translates to 'I want instant gratification and I want it now'.
I believed the Escapist was about games as art, or at least something more than dumb mindless entertainment. But apparently for the loudest voice of the Escapist an RPG is considered bad if the interface is not watered down for console controllers with two buttons, 'Kill everything ninja style' and 'Kill everything manga style'.
I am sure Yathzee thinks the paragon of modern RPGs is God of War because it has the coolest moves. At least in God of War, you do not have to make that annoying and overly difficult choice between strong, fast and group attacks that totally draws you right out of the game. You do not even have to run around between NPCs who all seem to take this monster-pwning thing way too seriously, almost like they were a character in a role-playing setting.
I have not played The Witcher because it is not my kind of game, but with reviews like that, who needs EA?
I think Yahtzee's point about the gameplay was that it feels like work, which I believe he states verbatim in the review. Not that it didn't give him instant gratification but that you play a game to...well...PLAY a game. When the controls and interface become so bogged down the game ceases to be fun and begins to be frustrating. There is value in simplicity.
yes, there is, and The Witcher isn't as "intuitive" or effortless as it could be - but nowadays a lot of games ain't. And if I have to push through that pain-phase to be rewarded with a great gaming experience - so be it. But well, guess opinions differ on that. Yatzee called it First Impression so I guess it's ok, as long as it's not supposed to be a in-depth review of the game.
Good points. And I think it should also be taken into consideration that these reviews are supposed to be negative and funny. I'm sure there were good points of the game but that just isn't going to send me rollin' on the floor. I mean...what do you expect from a fellow who ranked Adventures of Dizzy as the greatest game ever.