Zero Punctuation: The Witcher

[Atech66]

Game is excellent.. 22+ years of gaming behind that statement I feel I can say it.
Not much excited me in a very long time in regards to the RPG world. Seen it all
This was refreshing and so well made, the story line was captivating and the game play and graphics were very well done.
I don't need to spend a week on a learning curve, as a good game should be.
My hats off to to the team.
Core i7 Quad
3 Gigs DDR3 tri
MSI X58 Platinum Mobo SLI / X-fire supported
SATA 2
And I am only running a single Gefrce 9500 GT 1Gig 16X PCI card right now.
seems to run flawlessly.

 

[ssgt splatter]

whoa Yhatzee you uh..got a little carried away there at 3:08 huh

 

[HoverWhale]

Sorry to retread a thread that seems it should be dead (and sorry about that genuinely unintentional rhyme there), but does anyone know what the music at the start of the Intro Sequence Theatre is called (the bit at the introduction, before the actual scene starts)? It's been annoying me ever since I heard it a few hours ago and I can't find its name anywhere.

 

[PayNSprayBandit]

Sorry to retread a thread that seems it should be dead (and sorry about that genuinely unintentional rhyme there), but does anyone know what the music at the start of the Intro Sequence Theatre is called (the bit at the introduction, before the actual scene starts)? It's been annoying me ever since I heard it a few hours ago and I can't find its name anywhere.

Alfred Hitchcock's Theme Song

 

[savandicus]

Sorry to retread a thread that seems it should be dead (and sorry about that genuinely unintentional rhyme there), but does anyone know what the music at the start of the Intro Sequence Theatre is called (the bit at the introduction, before the actual scene starts)? It's been annoying me ever since I heard it a few hours ago and I can't find its name anywhere.

The offspring - Pretty fly for a white guy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6-LD2ZDH60 (Its an AMV, but its the song)

 

[HoverWhale]

Sorry to retread a thread that seems it should be dead (and sorry about that genuinely unintentional rhyme there), but does anyone know what the music at the start of the Intro Sequence Theatre is called (the bit at the introduction, before the actual scene starts)? It's been annoying me ever since I heard it a few hours ago and I can't find its name anywhere.

Alfred Hitchcock's Theme Song

Wow that was quick! Ultimate thanks!

 

[Kiranode]

bloody frikkin hilarious!!! I actually own the game and was wondering why I haven't been playing it more.. Till a friend showed me this. absolutely the truth! (and it brightend my very very gloomy day a lot)

 

[Kanazuchi]

Sorry to retread a thread that seems it should be dead (and sorry about that genuinely unintentional rhyme there), but does anyone know what the music at the start of the Intro Sequence Theatre is called (the bit at the introduction, before the actual scene starts)? It's been annoying me ever since I heard it a few hours ago and I can't find its name anywhere.

Alfred Hitchcock's Theme Song

Or more accurately, Charles Gounod's "Funeral March of a Marionette". But yeah, most people know it as the Hitchcock theme.

 

[J.E.T.]

my +69 staff of penetration...ROFL!

 

[Tyrannowalefish_Rex]

Wow, what a shitty, stupid, egotistical, shallow, bitter and ignorant review.

*sighs*

*sighs*

The Witcher EE is an awesome game and so are a lot of other cRPGs

Prove that it's an awesome game. And to prove that you must prove the game does not have one click combat.

Prove that it's not an awsome game. And to prove that you have to prove that you're not just Yahtzee's cocksucker for everything he ever said.

For your information: there are tactics for different enemies, different styles of fighting for different situations and enemies, magic, alchemy and you have to click in a certain rhythm to deal maximum damage.

There are also such things as characters, plots, creativity that count, apart from combat.

 

[The Jackyl]

Holy christ, that Painkiller short had me crying.

 

[OnionMaster]

At the risk of having half a dozen fanboys shove my comments up my arse, I'm going to venture out and say that The Witcher is a really really ridiculously hateful game, but it does suck you in (oh, it pains me to say that).
I finished the Witcher, but somehow felt that all the hours I spent doing so were a waste of life. The story and RPG-element is quite alright, but it takes soooo long to do ANYTHING, the combat is unmentionably horrible and I hate the fact that you can't walk over an inch-high stone, or walk up the side of the bottom step of a staircase, or even over a broken toothpick. Lack of any kind of pacing make this game an endlessly grinding, completely unrewarding, run-around-picking-your-nose-and-waiting RPG which anyone with a grain of common sense would do best to avoid.
Oh, and Yahtzee forgot to mention that the "moral choice" element was developed by a team of rabid bush-babies.

 

[Tyrannowalefish_Rex]

Lack of any kind of pacing make this game an endlessly grinding, completely unrewarding, run-around-picking-your-nose-and-waiting RPG which anyone with a grain of common sense would do best to avoid.

That probably applies to the endless swamp areas. They were horribly dull, yes. But I think there are very few games that don't feature some sort of monotonous labyrinth, swamp, zombie-infestion area. It's ok, when there are good characters and nice little stories to go along with it.

Oh, and Yahtzee forgot to mention that the "moral choice" element was developed by a team of rabid bush-babies.

Sorry, that seems beside the point to me. In the game there are mostly "lesser evils" than real good and bad. Perhaps you don't like it, because you like the cheerier sort, or whatever, but that's not real criticism.

The game may not be a masterpiece and it's often rather awkward, but in some ways it's a convincing effort of a "mature" RPG.

 

[DSteer]

"do you know what this is....!"

lol i cant imagine that sketch being any better xD

 

[Sethzard]

This is still the best review, and the Painkiller bit has still not got old.

 

[Sentient6]

The Painkiller bit... HOW do you come up with it? Seriously, HOW? How do you watch the Painkiller intro and think of THAT??? Yahtzee is FUCKING BRILLIANT!!! Not just "brilliant" or "VERY brilliant", but FUCKING BRILLIANT.

 

[Cyberjester]

Funny review of the game as always, but really.. This game was as hard to play as Fable. I'd actually call it a built-for-console game, simplistic, easy, quick. I didn't read the manual, but found it not only easy to pick up, but quite fun. Strong, fast and group were extremely easy to figure out. Strong for highly armored targets, fast for weaker targets (which is actually my fav, works on all) and group for when you're surrounded and want to damage them all at the same time. Signs were nice and simple like Fable's magic system. Although again, I only used Aard and Igni (not sure of spelling) combined with the Fast system and I haven't had problems yet.

The game includes some nice tutorials on potion making. Hell, the entire first section is practically a tutorial. There wasn't much travelling to speak of, combat was simple and fun, the graphics were reasonable.

*shrugs* It generally takes me all of half a second to get bored, but I like this game.

 

[Marksman18v]

20 minutes...outside...pufferfish...

That made my hair stand up and almost got me to vomit.

Congratz, it's pretty hard to do that

 

[Marksman18v]

Wow, what a shitty, stupid, egotistical, shallow, bitter and ignorant review. Wow, what a lame ass, he gets hard ripping on smart original RPG games. Must be because he is so insecure with his own uber nerdom. Too bad, really, his lose. The Witcher EE is an awesome game and so are a lot of other cRPGs. What a loser, and the British arrogance thing is so tired, get over it. Lame upon lame upon more nerd lameness. Enjoy loser. Look I can be an ass too, oh, now I'm so cool... what a waste.

You are kidding me right?

I found this game so incredibly boring that I actually put on a DVD, to kill the boredom of the game.

When game haves me enjoy myself in a different way while still playing, that is a far from a good sign.

Needless to say I microwaved the disk.