Zero Punctuation: The Witcher
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
Recommended Videos
It's not surprising. Either you like the Witcher or you hate it I guess. Since our beloved Charismatic Stallion hated the game all who loved it whined about it. Like with Halo (although Yahtzee did not really hate Halo 3 as much as the Witcher)SomeBlackGuy said:
Although, being a RPG lover, I do like The Witcher somewhat (like not love...) I perfectly understand Yahtzee feeling regarding this game. It's a fair game if you are an RPG freak (like me) but I am not surprised if some people hate it guts.
I actually went out and bought The Witcher after seeing this review. Yahtzee unintentionally made it sound so fun I could tell I'd love it. And I really did LOL at "THIS IS A MUMORPUGUH!" Love the Yahtzee-avatar's eyes when he realises that.
I wonder why he puts himself through so many RPGs when he doesn't like them (well okay he said he hates J-RPGs, and The Witcher is western, but he seems to play J-RPGs too. Anyway I'm not criticising, he can play what he wants and I might not have heard of The Witcher if it wasn't for this review. And he's funnier when saying negative things anyway.
BTW the combat is harder than he makes out. You have to repeatedly click on the enemies getting the timing right to build up combos and you'll need potions, and blade-coating oils and such. It feels like Fable - but hard. Fable was far too easy.
Can't wait to see the next review.
I wonder why he puts himself through so many RPGs when he doesn't like them (well okay he said he hates J-RPGs, and The Witcher is western, but he seems to play J-RPGs too. Anyway I'm not criticising, he can play what he wants and I might not have heard of The Witcher if it wasn't for this review. And he's funnier when saying negative things anyway.
BTW the combat is harder than he makes out. You have to repeatedly click on the enemies getting the timing right to build up combos and you'll need potions, and blade-coating oils and such. It feels like Fable - but hard. Fable was far too easy.
Can't wait to see the next review.
In defence of Yahtzee: I think he did play the game, and isn't just writing out of personal hate of a genre. Sure, he was wrong about the combat a bit, but I'm sure that he simply couldn't fit the complex mechanics of timing-based combat with how fast he was going. As for The Witcher, I haven't seen it myself, but it sure does seem interesting: a mutant named Geralt of Rivia (not from Rivia) who fights monsters and is on a quest to remember his identity seems interesting. Plus, it's based off of a novel series. Anyway, about the review (first impression). I think you may have taken a wrong turn, since from what I can recall, none of the main quests involve researching, decapitation, or giving body parts to stationary NPCs. In fact, the primary side quests and main quests lie more along the lines of unclear moral decisions (picked this up from a friend) and not strictly about killing. So, if you only count the very minor quests, it is a MUHMORPUGER
I usually love Yahtzee's reviews, even if he bashes games I like, it's funny and seems competent. Was a bit shocked about the Witcher review, but we were over that.
I really hope he'll review The Witcher Enhanced Edition, the re-release in May.
The devs fixed many of the aspects Yathzee critized (fighting, alchemy, inventory system, ...), also the loading times will be dramatically reduced afaik.
This edition will also be available for the same price as the normal version and be available for download as a sort of huge patch (including all stuff like map of the world, soundtrack cd etc.) for free! for all the players who already have TW - which is imho a really great move by the delevopers.
I really hope he'll review The Witcher Enhanced Edition, the re-release in May.
The devs fixed many of the aspects Yathzee critized (fighting, alchemy, inventory system, ...), also the loading times will be dramatically reduced afaik.
This edition will also be available for the same price as the normal version and be available for download as a sort of huge patch (including all stuff like map of the world, soundtrack cd etc.) for free! for all the players who already have TW - which is imho a really great move by the delevopers.
umm i need help , witch one was it were he said" i will take ttwo of my own vertebreen bend over and gnaw on my ass"
I shit you not, I have a T-shirt that has those exact words...
it was the most mind blowing birthday present of my LIFE!
it was the most mind blowing birthday present of my LIFE!
The intro sequence theater addition at the end is one of the funniest things I've ever seen, ever. My brother and I have been frequently quoting practically every line from it for the last month or so, so I suppose a thumbs up is the least I can do.
Great job.
Great job.
I liked the Witcher, but have to concede it has it's issues. It is so hot and cold; the good bits are really great, and the bad bits just make you want to gnaw your own face off. Even when I disagree with Yahtzee (which isn't very often), he is still entertaining.
i really tried to like Witcher, but all those women flinging themselves at him really put me off. I mean really. Really. Probably it's fine if you're a guy and all, but i suspect they didn't really want women to buy this game. "Pretty fly for a white guy" is about right. Sucks being a minority. Once i got into the City and poked about a bit, i gave up. Thumbs-down game. Too many nekkid women, and this particular woman isn't impressed by that. And no woman in her right mind would behave like these chicks do. I wanna say "Grow up!" but what's the point. Yay yahtzee, for seeing the mysogynist for what he is.
JaseMorris is right, hot and cold is a good way to describe it. Unfortunately i found it mostly cold.
JaseMorris is right, hot and cold is a good way to describe it. Unfortunately i found it mostly cold.
Speakin' of 'the devil'
Yahtzee. You know I love Your 'ignorant' (sometimes) revirews and I laugh my ass off most of the time (yes... even watchin' assassin's fuckin' creed) and if you didn't know, than you know now... The thing is i laughed at the (so fuckin' called) "Witcher" review until I did't finnish the game myself (PL and ENG) version...
Now i have lost most of my 'faith' because I'm not sure if you do the reviews yourself or you just read the fuckin' reviews on fucking British websited and then you just take all of the shitty stuff from the web and create your own review + 'some (british) sense of humour'
In my opinion 'Witcher' is exactly a game you can compare to a dog's shit but 'Wiedzmin' is something much different. This game's screenplay is mostly written by Andrzej Sapkowski - guy whose balls would be dry of licking if J.D. Tolkien was still alive and his novels are the most magnificent fantasy stories ever told.
The other thing is that 'Witcher is not' Oblivion + Sex cuz this game is totally somethig new and something very important for polish nation (yes I had to mention that) as polish have not released any 'good game' in ages (actually since 1410 - when we kicked germans' asses at Grunwald).
Returning to what I've written at the beginning... In UK this game didn't get more then 68% but in US it was called 'the game of the year'. Why? I dont fuckin' know but most of british people would say: "Americans are fuckin' not educated, stupid ignorants..." (hmmm... exactly the same way as I think about British... hmm... never mind)... 'Tits' problem is exactly the same... As A. Sapkowski had only vision of polish women he made them all the way they should look... Most of polish girls have nice, 'boing-like' soft titties... ;] (That's why I am so proud of my wife)...
Ok at the end... [I don't want to write any more as I am drunk as shit] I find Your 'Witcher's' review somehow correct but supported by most of british magazines' opinion, but 'Wiedzmin' is totally different game and story... It is exactly 97/100 mark
Good night and good luck
P.S. If You want to write shit on this forum about this post... Don't even bother... I only visit this site every wednesday to check Yahtzee's new reviews... ;]
Yahtzee. You know I love Your 'ignorant' (sometimes) revirews and I laugh my ass off most of the time (yes... even watchin' assassin's fuckin' creed) and if you didn't know, than you know now... The thing is i laughed at the (so fuckin' called) "Witcher" review until I did't finnish the game myself (PL and ENG) version...
Now i have lost most of my 'faith' because I'm not sure if you do the reviews yourself or you just read the fuckin' reviews on fucking British websited and then you just take all of the shitty stuff from the web and create your own review + 'some (british) sense of humour'
In my opinion 'Witcher' is exactly a game you can compare to a dog's shit but 'Wiedzmin' is something much different. This game's screenplay is mostly written by Andrzej Sapkowski - guy whose balls would be dry of licking if J.D. Tolkien was still alive and his novels are the most magnificent fantasy stories ever told.
The other thing is that 'Witcher is not' Oblivion + Sex cuz this game is totally somethig new and something very important for polish nation (yes I had to mention that) as polish have not released any 'good game' in ages (actually since 1410 - when we kicked germans' asses at Grunwald).
Returning to what I've written at the beginning... In UK this game didn't get more then 68% but in US it was called 'the game of the year'. Why? I dont fuckin' know but most of british people would say: "Americans are fuckin' not educated, stupid ignorants..." (hmmm... exactly the same way as I think about British... hmm... never mind)... 'Tits' problem is exactly the same... As A. Sapkowski had only vision of polish women he made them all the way they should look... Most of polish girls have nice, 'boing-like' soft titties... ;] (That's why I am so proud of my wife)...
Ok at the end... [I don't want to write any more as I am drunk as shit] I find Your 'Witcher's' review somehow correct but supported by most of british magazines' opinion, but 'Wiedzmin' is totally different game and story... It is exactly 97/100 mark
Good night and good luck
P.S. If You want to write shit on this forum about this post... Don't even bother... I only visit this site every wednesday to check Yahtzee's new reviews... ;]
sorry son (joke)
what kinda detergent do you use for your gimp, mine keeps complaining that he's chaffing >_<
very funny video ^-^
what kinda detergent do you use for your gimp, mine keeps complaining that he's chaffing >_<
very funny video ^-^
Well reading 10 pages of coments i can draw the obvious conclusion. Console gamers are actualy RETARDED Yangtzee included(i actualy don't care how you spell your fucking name).
You constantly complain about how games these days are clones of some other clones than were cloned for cloning's sake 100 years ago. You ***** about repetitive gameplay. And you bash The Witcher because you have the atention span of a retarded monkey and failed to notice the game has some of the most original quests in existence. The gathering quests whitch you ***** about are OPTIONAL. You can actualy ignore them. Really. No joke.
If The Witcher was to complex for you to get maybe you should try some other games. Like bashing your head agaist a fucking wall untill the wall falls. If you actualy took the fucking time to actualy learn the game you would of enjoined a game that sets new standards for RPG's. You hated the fact Fable was a load of shit Peter Molieux fed us.
Everything CD Projeckt promised is in the game. Of course you were to busy jerking off to actualy play the game and realise that. Cd Projeckt is right now the only developer that hasn't fucked or tried to fuck us up our asses.
No bother. Keep playing crap and miss good games because you would actualy have to pay atention to something for more than 10 seconds you fucking pot smoking brainless fucks!!!
That includes you Yangtzzeeezz!
P.S. I really enjoy your reviews. They are funny however brainless and pretentious you might be.
You constantly complain about how games these days are clones of some other clones than were cloned for cloning's sake 100 years ago. You ***** about repetitive gameplay. And you bash The Witcher because you have the atention span of a retarded monkey and failed to notice the game has some of the most original quests in existence. The gathering quests whitch you ***** about are OPTIONAL. You can actualy ignore them. Really. No joke.
If The Witcher was to complex for you to get maybe you should try some other games. Like bashing your head agaist a fucking wall untill the wall falls. If you actualy took the fucking time to actualy learn the game you would of enjoined a game that sets new standards for RPG's. You hated the fact Fable was a load of shit Peter Molieux fed us.
Everything CD Projeckt promised is in the game. Of course you were to busy jerking off to actualy play the game and realise that. Cd Projeckt is right now the only developer that hasn't fucked or tried to fuck us up our asses.
No bother. Keep playing crap and miss good games because you would actualy have to pay atention to something for more than 10 seconds you fucking pot smoking brainless fucks!!!
That includes you Yangtzzeeezz!
P.S. I really enjoy your reviews. They are funny however brainless and pretentious you might be.
Wow, what a shitty, stupid, egotistical, shallow, bitter and ignorant review. Wow, what a lame ass, he gets hard ripping on smart original RPG games. Must be because he is so insecure with his own uber nerdom. Too bad, really, his lose. The Witcher EE is an awesome game and so are a lot of other cRPGs. What a loser, and the British arrogance thing is so tired, get over it. Lame upon lame upon more nerd lameness. Enjoy loser. Look I can be an ass too, oh, now I'm so cool... what a waste.
*sighs*
Just because it's smart and original doesn't make it good. And how about you refute his actual comments or refer to parts of the game that make it fun.
Why?
Prove that it's an awesome game. And to prove that you must prove the game does not have one click combat.
because he doesn't enjoy sucky games.