Zero Punctuation: Tomb Raider: Underworld

[Omega87]

EDIT: Are you kidding me up there with that copy-pasted text wall?

You have something you desperately want people to read, and yet you say nothing. You perched like a sniper waiting for the video to be released so you could soapbox in the first few posts on a site that is full of peple who enjoy the videos. The worst part is, you think it's worth reading, and that you're brillant! Thanks for your comments, but next time I want that kind of counter-opinion in my house I'll just invite a Jehova's witness in for coffee.

Oh my god, most definately qouted for truth. 100% agree.

I'd just like to point out the obvious here. It's a comments page, not a praise page. NewClassic's rant is as valid as your opinion, just more eloquent. And I agree with him. Yahtzee might still be funny, but I'd prefer to hear a little about the actual game.
Edit. Ninja'd. Bugger. With exactly the same comment though, so great minds and all that

So you would rather I reposted my entire rant in which essencially I say the same thing as this fellow here? Or just use the qoute button? If I just wanted to praise him i'd mention how pretty his eyes were, or how much his hairstyle rocks. Instead I just wanted to point out the truth and validity of his previous statement.

 

[balkster]

you need 2 review call of duty world at war, would love to see your opinion on it!

 

[crimped]

fucking spot on! I hate the whole damn tomb raider series.

 

[nought_0]

Just for the record:

NEVER, NEVER EVER Come home from work, smoke a herbal cigarette and then watch this review in the dark with the sound tunred off.
The bong with footballs for boobs is specially bad for the old polly paranoia.

It's pretty good with the sound on, though.
I'm as red blooded as the next male, but the first time I saw Laura Croft I nearly died laughing: HANDSTANDS!!!

 

[antipunt]

Just for the record:

NEVER, NEVER EVER Come home from work, smoke a herbal cigarette and then watch this review in the dark with the sound tunred off.
The bong with footballs for boobs is specially bad for the old polly paranoia.

It's pretty good with the sound on, though.
I'm as red blooded as the next male, but the first time I saw Laura Croft I nearly died laughing: HANDSTANDS!!!

epic lulz

 

[Metalrocks]

I adore Yahtzee, but this "review" disappointed me greatly. It was not a review so much as it was one long breast and ass joke. I don't think he played the game very far, certainly not far enough to know that there weren't any boss fights.

I mean, his complaint that "we all know what the gameplay is" could be said about *any* sequel this year, yet these games got skewered for specific gameplay issues, not generically washed with the "it's Tomb Raider; let's all hate on it" brush.

I was actually looking forward to this review. After Yahtzee's extreme restraint in pulling out the breast jokes in his Soul Caliber 4 review (despite being accosted with breasts five times the size of Lara's and far more uncovered,) I had hope that perhaps he might avoid trite and overused comments regarding the franchise and treat the game as a *game* and not as a standup routine worthy of an off-strip, side-room Vegas comic. Clearly my hope was misplaced.

i agree with you there. it has it's funny moments like with the spiders and with lara's face. when he was talking about her mother, i think he din't came that far. he should have played legend too.
but well, he has his point of view, we have ours. i still think that underworld is a good game to play. as i said before, there are far more worser games out there then tomb raider.

for exsample the C&C series. they are for me always the same. GDI vs. NOD. so every new C&C game is bad.

 

[SuperUberBob]

First good ZP review in 4-6 weeks now.

 

[Low Frost]

Bristol. I think the one amply endowed woman whose name escapse me is from there.
And I disagree with the statement, "Anything more than a handful is a waste."
I disagree strongly.

 

[Galletea]

So you would rather I reposted my entire rant in which essencially I say the same thing as this fellow here? Or just use the qoute button? If I just wanted to praise him i'd mention how pretty his eyes were, or how much his hairstyle rocks. Instead I just wanted to point out the truth and validity of his previous statement.

I think you misunderstood. I was talking about your vehement agreement that a rant about ZP shouldn't be here. It is a comments page and he felt like making a comment about what he disliked about ZP. He had every right to do so, just as you have the right to say "ZOMFG Totally agree" or something to that effect. If you don't like it ignore it. This is not a ZP website, that's only a part of it.

 

[Meagen]

Not changing the gameplay can be seen as "stagnating", but if you like how the game plays in the first place, you're going to call it "not fucking with something that works". Personally I find first-person cameras horribly disorienting and not at all conductive to jumping puzzles, but I'm not going to call the Half-Life series stagnating just because the games aren't changed to cater to my taste.

Yeah, yeah, I know, "anyone who buys this is obviously only attracted to the boobies because there is no way anyone can have a different taste in games than me" makes for a better joke.

 

[Worm4Life]

Doesn't it feel like he's up and taking the same complaints to different games?

 

[Siris]

It was a great episode, but I would have liked to see one of those features at the end of the episode where you overdub a scene or make an amussing montage

 

[Ultimateslayer]

I have to agree with the ones that say that the actual "reviewing" has been cut down.
But on the other hand ZP is as funny as ever and I will still guess the whole week what game he is going to rip apart next wednesday.

 

[themule89]

Nice video Yahtzee but there are two things I don't understand
You say that you can't identify yourself to the character because she's bad, but I thought that you liked bad characters who have no respect for their kind.
What do you have against French people? It's the second time to refer to them in a contemptuous manner. They do have war heroes, should I provide you with a list? Give me a list of Australian heroes and lets see who wins.

 

[thurauh1]

Apparently, none at you have been to these forums for Tomb Raider:

http://www.tombraiderforums.com/showthread.php?t=144406

30 people, including the OP in the above thread were let go by Eidos. TR Underworld did only sell 1,5 million units, not the expected or projected 2,0 million units. The OP in the above thread has answered many questions from the fans willingly, answered why there wasn't enough time to make the glitches ho away and why the backstory changed - and certain things were not as developed for Mature audience that they could have been. The Marketing Guys at Eidos insisted on a Teenage rating. Apparently, these guys didn't get the memo about the evage gamer bow being 35 years old and the women now make up ½ the gaming market...

Eidos have also released a press release about making the franchise more 'female friendly' (whatever that means?) and hinting that the franchise might be going 'noir' like Batman begins.

 

[Powerman88]

Grats on still being the only funny contributor to this site. Good job ZP

 

[FNGLHR]

Okay, that does it. I was GOING to keep watching this series and give you a chance, one more chance. But you know what, you fucked it up. You know why Yahtzee, this:

"The main reason its hard to sympathize with her is because she's well... evil"

I'm not going to debate whether or not she is. Thats not the point of this. I just recall that the game you "sorta" named "Game of the Year" was Saints Row 2 and you called it better then GTA IV. I already found that little load ridiculous in and of itself. Mostly because I thought you liked games with good story as well as gameplay. Your Psychonauts review and Orange Box reviews seemed to show that. However the fact you just decided that GTA IV was inferior to its carbon copy piece of crap is more then ridiculous in and of its self. Saints Row 2, a game with NO real story or engaging plot.

I could let that go honestly, thats not so bad. You have different tastes, everyone does. But after this... I'm beginning to wonder if you're being honest or you're just making shit up to see how many pissed off fan boys you can get on the boards.

You don't sympathize with Croft because she's apparently evil for stealing artifacts and killing those in her way, fair enough. Saints Row 2's main character... hmmm... lets see. Murder, robbery, mindless violence, cop killing, keeping a city from getting rid of its deplorable crime infestation, no real stated motive other then being a bad ass, uses an innocent cocktail waitress as a sheild to save himself from getting shot up by a bunch of thugs and in the end reveals he did it all because he's an all around in general asshole who just likes killing people for fun.

The main character of Saints Row 2 isn't "Some guy who just wants to have fun" he's EVIL! He's a bad guy, a petty gangbanging thug, a villain himself who kills without discrimination! And yet you find it easier to sympathize with him then Lara Croft. Calling him "Just a guy who wants to have fun." A gross understatement sir. Better yet you sympathize more with him then a Slavic Immigrant who is in general a nice guy all around, wants to help his friends and family, escape his past and avenge the deaths of his friends from a terrible war.

This review has shown me what you are Yahtzee, all you care about is getting enough jerkish fan boys to scream at you. It doesn't matter how much you honestly like a game as long as it pisses someone off you've accomplished your objective.

Thats why you picked Saints Row 2 for your "Sorta but not really Game of the Year Award" above far superior games. To be frank, no I didn't want you to pick GTA IV. Any game besides Saints Row 2 though was far more deserving. You just picked it because you knew it would piss people off and thats what you wanted.

Well you've pissed me off, but not in the way you probably wanted. You've betrayed my trust sir. Even if you prefered Saints Row 2 to GTA IV, I guess I would've been okay with that in the end. The fact is though, you just said those things because you knew people would get on your case for it. Why? Because there is no way that if you honestly think Lara Croft is unsympathetic for being a happy killjoy artifact stealing hussy that you in turn think that the psychopathic murderering main character of Saints Row 2 is in anyway sympathetic either.

I can no longer trust you as a reviewer. You're no longer in it for being honest, you're just in it to piss people off now. For shame.

 

[Metalrocks]

Okay, that does it. I was GOING to keep watching this series and give you a chance, one more chance. But you know what, you fucked it up. You know why Yahtzee, this:

"The main reason its hard to sympathize with her is because she's well... evil"

I'm not going to debate whether or not she is. Thats not the point of this. I just recall that the game you "sorta" named "Game of the Year" was Saints Row 2 and you called it better then GTA IV. I already found that little load ridiculous in and of itself. Mostly because I thought you liked games with good story as well as gameplay. Your Psychonauts review and Orange Box reviews seemed to show that. However the fact you just decided that GTA IV was inferior to its carbon copy piece of crap is more then ridiculous in and of its self. Saints Row 2, a game with NO real story or engaging plot.

I could let that go honestly, thats not so bad. You have different tastes, everyone does. But after this... I'm beginning to wonder if you're being honest or you're just making shit up to see how many pissed off fan boys you can get on the boards.

You don't sympathize with Croft because she's apparently evil for stealing artifacts and killing those in her way, fair enough. Saints Row 2's main character... hmmm... lets see. Murder, robbery, mindless violence, cop killing, keeping a city from getting rid of its deplorable crime infestation, no real stated motive other then being a bad ass, uses an innocent cocktail waitress as a sheild to save himself from getting shot up by a bunch of thugs and in the end reveals he did it all because he's an all around in general asshole who just likes killing people for fun.

The main character of Saints Row 2 isn't "Some guy who just wants to have fun" he's EVIL! He's a bad guy, a petty gangbanging thug, a villain himself who kills without discrimination! And yet you find it easier to sympathize with him then Lara Croft. Calling him "Just a guy who wants to have fun." A gross understatement sir. Better yet you sympathize more with him then a Slavic Immigrant who is in general a nice guy all around, wants to help his friends and family, escape his past and avenge the deaths of his friends from a terrible war.

This review has shown me what you are Yahtzee, all you care about is getting enough jerkish fan boys to scream at you. It doesn't matter how much you honestly like a game as long as it pisses someone off you've accomplished your objective.

Thats why you picked Saints Row 2 for your "Sorta but not really Game of the Year Award" above far superior games. To be frank, no I didn't want you to pick GTA IV. Any game besides Saints Row 2 though was far more deserving. You just picked it because you knew it would piss people off and thats what you wanted.

Well you've pissed me off, but not in the way you probably wanted. You've betrayed my trust sir. Even if you prefered Saints Row 2 to GTA IV, I guess I would've been okay with that in the end. The fact is though, you just said those things because you knew people would get on your case for it. Why? Because there is no way that if you honestly think Lara Croft is unsympathetic for being a happy killjoy artifact stealing hussy that you in turn think that the psychopathic murderering main character of Saints Row 2 is in anyway sympathetic either.

I can no longer trust you as a reviewer. You're no longer in it for being honest, you're just in it to piss people off now. For shame.

i don't think he cares really about it. plus you repeated your self alot that he wants to piss fans off.
the only thing i agree is, that it was not a review. there are good things in this game and he din't said anything about it at all. every one is seeing things different, that's true. i think that resident evil 4 is a bad game all over but fans still find it damn good.

 

[AfricanSwallow]

Nice to have an episode this week, as opposed to a clip mash-up.


But really... someone needs to step up and say it...

That 'Unskippable' they tag on to the end of every clip is awful.
I mean it's bad.
It's not funny, and that kid's voice is really starting to annoy me when I have to hear it again and again if I try to watch a few older clips.
If I ever hear "Land? On a helipad?" in actual real life conversation I'll probably kill whoever says it.

Come contract time something needs to be signed to keep that crap from getting tagged onto the videos.... or at least change it a halfway decent and entertaining series.
I know ZP increased traffic around 300%, but it's like they decided to balance out the funniest thing on The Escapist with the worst thing on the Escapist, and that's a shame.




AfricanSwallow