Zero Punctuation: Tomb Raider: Underworld

[acebrainbuster]

lura croft sucks in general no matter what sure i was amazed and astonished the first game and i never really cared about the boob factor the ***** needs to die every possible death shes given to he enemys and get aped or something at least that would be a funny ass joke

 

[DannyDeparted]

hehe good review, Whats wrong with Top Gear though?!?!

 

[sniper0501]

I'm a big Zero Punctuation fan and this wasn't Yahtzees worst video but apparently everyone who disliked it wished to voice that opinion and i'm fine with that it's just the fact people who like it have to disagree with the people who don't.....It's your opinion and people shouldn't judge you because of it.

 

[antipunt]

This review is gonna piss of a lot of TR fans lol

but it's so true. Lara's boobs are like giant pink elephant boobs flaoting around in everyone's mind

 

[Lyiat]

Methinks Yahtzee should make another Critics video

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

This review is gonna piss of a lot of TR fans lol

but it's so true. Lara's boobs are like giant pink elephant boobs flaoting around in everyone's mind

I didn't know there were any Tomb Raider fans devout enough to be annoyed at someone saying the series sucked. Most Tomb Raider fans are like the saner Sonic fans, they acknowledge that the series is basically dead and play the new games purely for the sake of brand loyalty and nostalgia.

 

[BlueInkAlchemist]

Let's not forget that this is from a man who, as a young Internet gutter-snipe, told us Why It Would Kick Arse To Be Lara Croft [http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/essays/lara.htm].

 

[VMerken]

I agree. Lara is evil. The sort who's first problem solving technique is blazing the guns. She does it with such glee and enthusiasm, it's touching really.

The thing which is bothering me the most, however, is the actual Underworld game. Or rather, what it continues to be. Crystal Dynamics has pretty much taken away what I held most dear in the TR series (the sense of exploration, vast non-linear locales) and is continuing to do so with a vehemence similar to the one which eventually got Eidos to hit an immovable, infinitely big brick wall.

Graphically, there are some very pretty things in there and to be honest, some of them blew me away with the creativity behind them. Music's also still there - a Crystal Dynamics staple I don't want them to shy away from. But, that's not enough to be what once was Tomb Raider. You were supposed to be this archaeologist Indiana Jones wannabe who fought and explored her way through enormous scenery, alone. Tons of stuff could get you killed: the creatures, the traps, miscalculated jumps, etc. Action and consequence.

Now, you're parkouring along a linear path, with the background elements you need to "use" brightly coloured so that there's no mistake as to where you have to go. You've become immortal, since checkpointing and continuing is overly generous - not to mention fully restores Lara's health. Why are there still "medkits", even? Oh yeah, as with the treasures and relics which are strewn along the road: to give some sort of "impression" that there are items in this game.

Also, you're no longer alone, apparently. Apparently, Lara needs someone "at home" to talk to from time to time. And boy, what deep, interesting characters and dialogues they are. Absolutely unforgettable and a serious boon to Lara's quest, helping her out in every possible way. For me however, they help kill the sense of solitude, they help kill the game.

So yeah, I agree with this opinion piece.

I wonder if Crystal Dynamics will ever rediscover what made the originals work so well. Come on - don't get all Bethesda Game Studios on us.

 

[-Rykan-]

Ahem, excusé moi! I've just done an undergraduate degree in archaeology, with a dissertation on Archaeology in the Media, and I did in fact point out,

"The common view of the action hero archaeologist is actually a bad one. It may sell tickets and increase viewing figures, but the representations are usually distorted, and could encourage looting and general detrimental behavior. Indiana Jones is incredibly popular, but far from the perfect example of an archaeologist ... and Lara Croft ... These are the popular representations. Fortunately the representations on television are starting to balance this out. The documentaries and series are showing an ever increasingly more accurate view of archaeology ..." blah, blah, boring archaeology stuff.

So don't worry, the field has been notified


Also, I have more than a handful, I don't mean to be wasteful

 

[Sir_Chumley_Warner]

I guess it's kind of predictable Yahtzee would devolve into one big cavalcade of breast & bottom jokes...

...Thus Tomb Raider always has a special place in my heart.

I completely agree, this review lacked the finesse of his usual reviews and a new take on it would have been refreshing and has a lot of potential to be funny. Still, you can't win 'em all eh? I decided not to quote the whole thing though so as not to clog up the page.

 

[Omega87]

EDIT: Are you kidding me up there with that copy-pasted text wall?

You have something you desperately want people to read, and yet you say nothing. You perched like a sniper waiting for the video to be released so you could soapbox in the first few posts on a site that is full of peple who enjoy the videos. The worst part is, you think it's worth reading, and that you're brillant! Thanks for your comments, but next time I want that kind of counter-opinion in my house I'll just invite a Jehova's witness in for coffee.

Oh my god, most definately qouted for truth. 100% agree.

I'd just like to point out the obvious here. It's a comments page, not a praise page. NewClassic's rant is as valid as your opinion, just more eloquent. And I agree with him. Yahtzee might still be funny, but I'd prefer to hear a little about the actual game.
Edit. Ninja'd. Bugger. With exactly the same comment though, so great minds and all that

So you would rather I reposted my entire rant in which essencially I say the same thing as this fellow here? Or just use the qoute button? If I just wanted to praise him i'd mention how pretty his eyes were, or how much his hairstyle rocks. Instead I just wanted to point out the truth and validity of his previous statement.

 

[balkster]

you need 2 review call of duty world at war, would love to see your opinion on it!

 

[crimped]

fucking spot on! I hate the whole damn tomb raider series.

 

[nought_0]

Just for the record:

NEVER, NEVER EVER Come home from work, smoke a herbal cigarette and then watch this review in the dark with the sound tunred off.
The bong with footballs for boobs is specially bad for the old polly paranoia.

It's pretty good with the sound on, though.
I'm as red blooded as the next male, but the first time I saw Laura Croft I nearly died laughing: HANDSTANDS!!!

 

[antipunt]

Just for the record:

NEVER, NEVER EVER Come home from work, smoke a herbal cigarette and then watch this review in the dark with the sound tunred off.
The bong with footballs for boobs is specially bad for the old polly paranoia.

It's pretty good with the sound on, though.
I'm as red blooded as the next male, but the first time I saw Laura Croft I nearly died laughing: HANDSTANDS!!!

epic lulz

 

[Metalrocks]

I adore Yahtzee, but this "review" disappointed me greatly. It was not a review so much as it was one long breast and ass joke. I don't think he played the game very far, certainly not far enough to know that there weren't any boss fights.

I mean, his complaint that "we all know what the gameplay is" could be said about *any* sequel this year, yet these games got skewered for specific gameplay issues, not generically washed with the "it's Tomb Raider; let's all hate on it" brush.

I was actually looking forward to this review. After Yahtzee's extreme restraint in pulling out the breast jokes in his Soul Caliber 4 review (despite being accosted with breasts five times the size of Lara's and far more uncovered,) I had hope that perhaps he might avoid trite and overused comments regarding the franchise and treat the game as a *game* and not as a standup routine worthy of an off-strip, side-room Vegas comic. Clearly my hope was misplaced.

i agree with you there. it has it's funny moments like with the spiders and with lara's face. when he was talking about her mother, i think he din't came that far. he should have played legend too.
but well, he has his point of view, we have ours. i still think that underworld is a good game to play. as i said before, there are far more worser games out there then tomb raider.

for exsample the C&C series. they are for me always the same. GDI vs. NOD. so every new C&C game is bad.

 

[SuperUberBob]

First good ZP review in 4-6 weeks now.

 

[Low Frost]

Bristol. I think the one amply endowed woman whose name escapse me is from there.
And I disagree with the statement, "Anything more than a handful is a waste."
I disagree strongly.

 

[Galletea]

So you would rather I reposted my entire rant in which essencially I say the same thing as this fellow here? Or just use the qoute button? If I just wanted to praise him i'd mention how pretty his eyes were, or how much his hairstyle rocks. Instead I just wanted to point out the truth and validity of his previous statement.

I think you misunderstood. I was talking about your vehement agreement that a rant about ZP shouldn't be here. It is a comments page and he felt like making a comment about what he disliked about ZP. He had every right to do so, just as you have the right to say "ZOMFG Totally agree" or something to that effect. If you don't like it ignore it. This is not a ZP website, that's only a part of it.

 

[Meagen]

Not changing the gameplay can be seen as "stagnating", but if you like how the game plays in the first place, you're going to call it "not fucking with something that works". Personally I find first-person cameras horribly disorienting and not at all conductive to jumping puzzles, but I'm not going to call the Half-Life series stagnating just because the games aren't changed to cater to my taste.

Yeah, yeah, I know, "anyone who buys this is obviously only attracted to the boobies because there is no way anyone can have a different taste in games than me" makes for a better joke.