Zero Punctuation: Two Worlds II

PopcornAvenger

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Jul 15, 2008
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Mystery as to why in the hell they thought it merited a sequel. TW was a huge, festering turd and a criminal waste of money. Horrible, horrible game. It was educational, though, at least for me - it taught me to never, ever, again, make impulse game buys. Or at least promise myself that :p

I suppose the company has invested too much in their engine or development time, and felt a second whack at this excrement-filled pinata might result in a few nuggets of gold. Or enough money to plague the world (or worlds) with yet another drink coaster, Two Worlds III!

Odd you called it a "Western RPG" - I tend to equate most of those with quality, like many of Bioware's titles. I suppose it is, when compared to JRPG's and the like. Just doesn't sound right. Maybe ERPG would be a better fit, and warning.

What, it sold well? Where, in Germany? Oh, the shame of having contributed to the emergence of a second title.

Yes, still po'd over buying it (TW 1) . [/RANT]
 

rickicker

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Oct 26, 2010
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Soooo...basically...you hated western RPG because despite of the epic scale of what the diddly hoo haa is going on, there is no sense of flow in the storyline, and yet you also hated JRPG because despite of the flow of storyline, everything is skittles and unicorns and singing dancing babies with googly eyes and hair that Don King would go green with envy.

Oh Yahtzee, you poor, poor bastard. Don't worry, a sandbox game worthy of your glee would come along soon enough. >:3
 

VladimirSirin

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Jul 8, 2010
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I'm enjoying it so far (on the Xbox, for the record).

The game itself seems not to take itself seriously at all....while it would be nice to have a more coherent plot, the side quests make it all worth it. From murdering someone's aunt so you can sell off her closet full of medicines, to delivering a severed head to a necromancer, to fighting a host of absurd opponents in gladiatorial combat....it's just goofy and fun.

The magic system is good, but you only really get the ability to do anything worthwhile when you level up talented tongue, wisdom, get a bunch of +x willpower modifiers on your equipment, and can actually use a decent staff in the element of your choice. But there is nothing more rewarding than launching five homing poison bolts from an arch necro staff on a settlement full of varn.
 

Fitzcaraldo

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Feb 2, 2011
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Another pleasingly scathing review. while I enjoyed his Mindjack one more, it was still as hilarious.

OT: I was looking in my fridge last week and guess what I found: A jar of BRANSTON PICKLE! When I saw it, I just stood there, shocked for ten seconds.
 

teebeeohh

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Jun 17, 2009
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it's funny how the covers symbolizing western rpgs are all from bethesda(and 2 worlds 2). does nobody else do rpgs these days
 

swenson

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Sep 5, 2009
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You should review Magicka! I haven't played more than the beginning of the demo, but it looks entertaining. At the very least, it's non-dark fantasy in which you can light things on fire all over the place.
Aeshi said:
Was kinda hoping it'd be Bulletstorm but oh well.

Calibanbutcher said:
WTF, Yatzhee reads Cracked.com articles?
My world is shaking.
Where does he mention/reference Cracked?
At the very end, in the credits. The funny thing is that I did read that Cracked article too...
 

znix

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Apr 9, 2009
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Here's to seeing Dragon Age 2 getting a new one ripped in an upcoming ep.
hee-hee, nothing like a troll with an audience :)
 

spartan1077

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Aug 24, 2010
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Amazing review like alway, couldn't stop giggling. Also, I'm glad you read cracked :D That made my day.
 

masticina

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Jan 19, 2011
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The player in two worlds II, yeah.. I love that! Oh sure your father has been lost and there are nasties about. Oh right yeah I might look into it *yawn*

So good! It gives that game something special :)

But well mmm a bit middle of road still daring to go that path in this time. At least it is out before Skyrim hit the market!
 

TraderJimmy

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Apr 17, 2010
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daxterx2005 said:
you'd think with subtitle syndrome being everywhere the game wouldnt be called
"two worlds II" but instead "Two Worlds: *insert something hipster here*"
Woah. You win the grand prize for most ridiculously stretched definition of hipster of all time.

I thought the word had already lost all meaning and value, but you just went and sucked the last little dregs of life out of it right there.
 

lenneth

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Aug 17, 2008
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Complaining about Fantasy games being too dark and brooding. wonder what he thinks of Magicka
 

QtheMuse

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May 23, 2010
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I enjoy this game and the story and its a nice interlude while waiting for skyrim. And it does has a unique story, i never have played a game where orcs rescue you. Ever.
 

mlsq42

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Sep 19, 2009
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rickicker said:
Soooo...basically...you hated western RPG because despite of the epic scale of what the diddly hoo haa is going on, there is no sense of flow in the storyline, and yet you also hated JRPG because despite of the flow of storyline, everything is skittles and unicorns and singing dancing babies with googly eyes and hair that Don King would go green with envy.

Oh Yahtzee, you poor, poor bastard. Don't worry, a sandbox game worthy of your glee would come along soon enough. >:3
This was my question too. What exactly is a good balance? All side quests have to do directly with the main quest? Then they aren't exactly side quests...
 

hansari

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May 31, 2009
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Jandau said:
First of all, Yahtzee, dearest...ridicule the game for its flaws, but don't ridicule it for your inability to read the manual or PAY ATTENTION DURING THE TUTORIAL (which explains the concept).

That being said, the game is poop.....

But don't bash on it for not letting you switch equipment, because it does.
This is the reason I can't pay much heed to what Yahtzee says anymore. Maybe its the fact that he's juggling too much work to put the same effort into ZP he put in before. Maybe his reviews have always been this flawed and I only started noticing when he started commenting on games I too had played.

What once was edutainment is now entertainment. Shame so many fans have not made that distinction and still jump behind what he says.
 

ZingFreelancer

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Jan 4, 2011
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Here I was browsing available games on steam when I come over this:

Dino D-day
The year is 1942. Adolf Hitler has succeeded in resurrecting dinosaurs. The reptilian horde has trampled Europe and the Mediterranean. Can nothing stop the Nazi?s dinosaur army?

If that isnt the most wicked sick WW2 twist ever, I dont know what is.
 

daxterx2005

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Dec 19, 2009
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TraderJimmy said:
daxterx2005 said:
you'd think with subtitle syndrome being everywhere the game wouldnt be called
"two worlds II" but instead "Two Worlds: *insert something hipster here*"
Woah. You win the grand prize for most ridiculously stretched definition of hipster of all time.

I thought the word had already lost all meaning and value, but you just went and sucked the last little dregs of life out of it right there.

Cool Story Bro