Zero Punctuation: Uncharted: Drake's Fortune

[Wyatt]

im not arguing for or against anyone. im just tossing out my opinions. take what you will from them.

if you want a specific opinion of you ES or you dreamer ill say this.

ES comes off as Jane Fonda, with a faint but noticable air of looking down at any women that doesnt behave they way you think they should. they either must act a certian way or they shouldnt act a certian way all based on how you view the world and a womans place in it.

dreamer on the other hand comes across as knowing what she wants and doesnt give a fly rats ass what anyone thinks about it.

your comments ES of

To be frank, I have absolutely no interest in watching my own gender publicly throw themselves at the feet of a man, making shrewd sexual advances, and simultaneously get clobbered by the male population on how we look like whores.

and

i just think that girls publicly gushing over men in a forum that's predominantly male-oriented is a poor decision, that's all. While I understand the (admittedly girlish) intent behind it, others may not. In this very thread there are already feelings of exasperation about females squealing over how Yahtzee looks instead of focusing on the content of his review. Creating a thread about this will only perpetuate the response.

are something id expect a burn your bra feminazi to announce. a perfectly innocent comment by dreamer about yahtzees looks seems to have ccalled down your wrath and cause (well not an outright attack) you to jump all over dreamers statments and turn an otherwise innocent and normal remark into some kind of crusade where the only right and proper womens views are those that YOU propose.

as i said, you would have women like dreamer trade one 'master' (men) for another, women like you.

now dont get the wrong idea here im not attacking you ..... exactly, im just pointing out that there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to be a woman and be equil to a man. you seem to think otherwise when you say that women who comment on mens looks are treated as whores (something i cant agree with at all and appears to be just your opinion). or that even commenting on a mans looks is automaticaly concidered 'gushing' wich is a derogatory statment in itself, she neednt wate to be called a whore your allready calling her a gushing empty headed girl wich is no better than whore it seems to me, either way YOU are by your own words refusing her the first step in equality and that is the ability to make up ones own mind without having to consult ANYONES opinions about a given subject.

she clearly sees this, and i cant help but admire how shes dealt with the issue with her responces. she didnt burn her bra, or call you names, shes basicaly blowing you off. i on the other hand like to point out when people are hypocrits so im not.

men calling her a whore is no worse, than you calling her an empty headed giggle machine, both imply that who she ACTUALY is or what she ACTUALY thinks isnt 'right' and shes only allowed to offer an opinion as long as its acceptable to YOUR views on how women should or shouldnt act.

and no your right you never actualy wrote the word 'should' anyplace, but its there in glowing neon letters if you choose to see it just the same.

Wow, was that necessary? I find it hard to believe you honestly consider me a 'tard', so who are you catering to with that statement?

*hangs head in shame*

im sorry pink, id never call YOU a tard.

it must have sliped out of my subconscious mind. the part of my mind that says anyone who would spend $600 on a console when a PC of the same price range can do the same thing and a million things more MUST be retarded.

that plus my arrogent PC gaming master race genes kicked into over drive. just ignore that remark and chalk it up to an over abundance of zeal to smite the console tar........ erm people?

 

[DreamerM]

Hey guys? I made the thread.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.55103

Go me.

So lets all move on, sing happy songs, and go back to discussing IMPORTANT stuff, like Console vs. PC gamers.

I hate PC gamers. They've all got such swankier machines then I do. You gotta be a millionaire even to afford the rig to play any of the decent games.

Wow, inflamatory and devisive, huh? Don't you wanna shout me down? C'mon, you know you wanna.

 

[pinkgothic]

[...] and chalk it up to an over abundance of zeal to smite the console tar........ erm people?

) *hands you an extra bottle of smite for use at your leisure*

 

[Thisusernameisjustanotherwasteofspace]

Somebody said that a PC "is for working". Tell that to the many many companies making gaming gear for the PC, before they lose their jobs... I'm sure ATI and nVidia will be thankful for such advice.

Huh? I'm assuming you mean me, since I'm the only one the mentioned something of the sort (that I can see - please accept my apologies if I'm missing something). However, you grossly misread what I said. I didn't say the PC is working, I said *I* use the PC for working (I'm a computer scientist), and I don't like playing games on it for that reason. It's a purely personal decision.

Unlike some people here, I have no interest in making broad, sweeping statements about any sort of medium. I was simply pointing out that the reverse broad, sweeping statement - that console gamers must somehow be utter idiots per definition, as is being implied repeatedly - isn't in any way given.

I actually don't think that console gamers are idiots. I would probably buy a console if I had the extra money. But if left with the choice to have a PC or a next-gen console, I would go for the PC. I'm just saying that anybody who thinks that a console is superior to the PC is an idiot.

That is not the fault of the PC as a platform,

No, of course it isn't. However, it ruins the platform for me, personally, because I don't want to deal with it. Consoles simply don't have that issue. They have other issues (as you and Wyatt have been pointing out), but those in turn just don't bother me.

So you judge one platform based on something that isn't its personal flaw, but you ignore issues of another platform despite them being because of the nature of the platform? I'm sorry for the direct flame, but you do realise how stupid that sounds? I little more objective way of thinking wouldn't kill you...

Then again, I have no intention proving that to any of you any further, since you have shown that I was right when saying you all live in denial.

I hope you're joking.

No.

 

[pinkgothic]

I'm just saying that anybody who thinks that a console is superior to the PC is an idiot.

Well, if with 'superior', you mean 'technically superior', then I'd have to agree (with the typical exceptions to the rule, but they prove the rule).

So you judge one platform based on something that isn't its personal flaw, but you ignore issues of another platform despite them being because of the nature of the platform? I'm sorry for the direct flame, but you do realise how stupid that sounds? I little more objective way of thinking wouldn't kill you...

I don't ignore the issues of other platforms. They are simply not issues (for me). In other words, in my subjective world, consoles don't have issues. The PC doesn't have issues (as a platform), either, but developers have been able to fuck up with Quick Time usage on it (as you put it - whether this is their fault or not is really a different debate, but let's just take that as granted for now), and it's where I work, and it's thus contaminated with 'serious', meaning it's just not as comfortable environment to play on.

(I didn't take that as a flame, by the way.)

Honestly, it depends on what you're aiming for. In my case, the sort of games I play are few and far between, and about half of them, by some freak chance, are console-only, which just adds to my personal gain in the matter. ("Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath", "Okami", "Kula World" (though the Playstation 1 can be reliably emulated by now, 'course, even on fairly lame PCs), as the three that immediately come to mind.)

I can acknowledge that the PC is the better choice for a lot of people - it is. I'm just not one of them.

Where exactly do you want me to add more objectivity?

No.

In that case, I'd like to reveal to you a pivotal truth of debates, in honest hope it may help you on your way: insulting people does not tend to make them listen to your actual discussion points. With the exception of a handful of people (to which I may or may not belong - but aspire to), you might as well save your breath... you merely anger them, you won't get your point across, and so everyone loses.

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

As someone who plays on consoles and has an IQ of 136, I find the term "consoletard" quite amusing. I can see how MMORPG's work better on PCs *FFXI online on the 360=crap* and RTS's work better on PC's as well. However, automatically saying that every game has to be dumbed down in order to go onto consoles seems a bit elitist to me. Can you imagine playing Smash Bros. on a keyboard? Or Guitar Hero? Maybe consoles are more geared towards casual gamers,
but that does not mean that every game on a console is a relatively casual game, as compared to the godliness that is every single PC game.

 

[ZippyDSMlee]

As someone who plays on consoles and has an IQ of 136, I find the term "consoletard" quite amusing. I can see how MMORPG's work better on PCs *FFXI online on the 360=crap* and RTS's work better on PC's as well. However, automatically saying that every game has to be dumbed down in order to go onto consoles seems a bit elitist to me. Can you imagine playing Smash Bros. on a keyboard? Or Guitar Hero? Maybe consoles are more geared towards casual gamers,
but that does not mean that every game on a console is a relatively casual game, as compared to the godliness that is every single PC game.

I look at it from a quality standpoint PC games can be in general better built, while console games focus on mass market and streamlined oversimplifications to sale products, this mind set has degraded PC quality some.

One of the reasons why PC games tend to be more polished is because they don't not have as many cooks and head chefs arguing over direction and release dates.


A solid in quality game is kinda a crap shoot now adays its still reasonable to say consoles lean in the cash in low quality direction but even with that said Capcom has surprised me these last few years choosing to build more solid products for the main title line up than going with the cash in route they are famous for crating using for so long, I can;t wait till them make a new Mega man game thats a cross between lost planet and DMC with alil metroid prime tossed in for good effort, frankly polishing MML's gameplay system would be great as well the last few MMX games have been crap yet they still beat that series with the cheap stick.

Konami only really has MSG they have kinda let everything else go..I wish they would put more effort into Castlvina the design team just can't do it right in 3D they need to relook at it and redo how they build a 3D castlvina.

So its really it comes down to what the publishers let the devs finish I blame 2K for BS begin broken on the PC and both the dev and the pub for the game being oversimplified.

There are 2 things I would like to see the console game industry do 1 full control over the control I want to be able to plug a KB and mouse into a console and play any game with it with any button customization I want the same for a pad I want full control over where the buttons go and how sensitive the analog sticks are and I am willing to pay 90$ for the KB and mouse set they could sale and overcharge for like they do with controllers I am hip to their game but they are not selling what I want to buy!

Another thing is cheating I love my SP cheats because most games have STUPID gameplay mechanics that either make the game annoying or imposable to play this to can be done via so many ways from buying game cheats online for a buck to have a streaming cheat server that process's cheats and blocks the ones that damage the integrity of the unit,os,onlinestore,MP server and mod/homebrew running code.
Via a subscription you request cheats and if you are skilled enough get the 25$ code editor kit and hash code these codes will be slightly monitored once you have made the code that has the desired effect you can submit it for final processing and have it with your handle/name put with the rest of the codes for that game, any codes that are malicious to the integrity of the service will be weeded out and this can lead to controlled and healthy game tweaking(cheating) online where its in a controlled environment meant not to let people god mode but change gameplay mechanics to add life to a game online.

I would be fine with spending a buck a game or 2$ a month or 30 a year for cheating to make most games worth a play through..

There is a gold mine waiting there for the right person to pitch the right plan to the big 3.

 

[Sephlock]

At 2:16 what does the cover of the book say?

And while we're at it, at 3:30 is there text on the envelope? I'm straining my eyes here!

 

[bartos]

lol nice, whats next?

 

[Wyatt]

In that case, I'd like to reveal to you a pivotal truth of debates, in honest hope it may help you on your way: insulting people does not tend to make them listen to your actual discussion points. With the exception of a handful of people (to which I may or may not belong - but aspire to), you might as well save your breath... you merely anger them, you won't get your point across, and so everyone loses.

close Pink but not close enough, THEE pivotal truth of debates isnt to change the mind of the 'enemy' its to help those on the side lines whome havent yet formed an opinion to form that opinion in agreement with what you are saying.

a debate needs at a minimum, 3 things, those being 2 (or possably more) 'sides' to a given topic and the third being a neutral croud that can be talked too. the GOAL of the debate is to sway the croud not to change the minds of your opponants. after all if someone chooses to make a stand their mind is generaly allready made up. my mind is made up about console's , so is yours, so is pretty much anyone else here whos got anything to actualy say about the subject, the 'debate' is for all the unwashed masses and ranks of the PC gaming master race whome havent commited to one side or another yet to get well infomed and at times funny conversation about the subject.

MY goal in debate is to get some of those console tards that dont know they are tards yet because they havent been educated to try PC gaming and relize that their dull misserable lives can become shining examples of intelligence and good breeding by choosing a PC over the peons consoles. my goal is NOT to convince hardened sinners that sloping through the mud of life tugging their flop and flail WII-mote behind them is a bad idea. some people just like living in the muck.

*takes a bow*

thank you and goodnight

 

[Thisusernameisjustanotherwasteofspace]

In that case, I'd like to reveal to you a pivotal truth of debates, in honest hope it may help you on your way: insulting people does not tend to make them listen to your actual discussion points. With the exception of a handful of people (to which I may or may not belong - but aspire to), you might as well save your breath... you merely anger them, you won't get your point across, and so everyone loses.

close Pink but not close enough, THEE pivotal truth of debates isnt to change the mind of the 'enemy' its to help those on the side lines whome havent yet formed an opinion to form that opinion in agreement with what you are saying.

a debate needs at a minimum, 3 things, those being 2 (or possably more) 'sides' to a given topic and the third being a neutral croud that can be talked too. the GOAL of the debate is to sway the croud not to change the minds of your opponants. after all if someone chooses to make a stand their mind is generaly allready made up. my mind is made up about console's , so is yours, so is pretty much anyone else here whos got anything to actualy say about the subject, the 'debate' is for all the unwashed masses and ranks of the PC gaming master race whome havent commited to one side or another yet to get well infomed and at times funny conversation about the subject.

MY goal in debate is to get some of those console tards that dont know they are tards yet because they havent been educated to try PC gaming and relize that their dull misserable lives can become shining examples of intelligence and good breeding by choosing a PC over the peons consoles. my goal is NOT to convince hardened sinners that sloping through the mud of life tugging their flop and flail WII-mote behind them is a bad idea. some people just like living in the muck.

*takes a bow*

thank you and goodnight

*Applauds*

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

At 2:16 what does the cover of the book say?

And while we're at it, at 3:30 is there text on the envelope? I'm straining my eyes here!

The book cover says "Sun Tzi" referring to the author of "The Art of War" and the envelope has no clear words on it.

 

[Mstrswrd]

As always, great review, and very, very true. I played it, but now that he pointed the whole racism thing out, I cant stop laughing every time I pop the game back into the damn PS3.

 

[Alphavillain]

Ooh, He. Is. So. Yummy. WTF is this? I thought video gamers were sexually repressed fifteen year olds (well, actually I'm quite a bit older than that, but the sexually repressed bit still holds ). And instead we get all these girly commenst on Yahtzee's not altogether butt-ugly charms. Anyhoo, Uncharted seems a bit generic to me.

 

[DontHate]

Heh! Nice review yahtzee. Everyone has told me uncharted was this great game, but when I played it it was nothing extraordinary.

 

[Nettacki]

Indeed, Uncharted IS a great game, but still I enjoyed the review. I can especially relate to the part about enemies shooting and hitting you from 900 yards away.

DontHate, I'm curious. What exactly did you expect from this game that made you think that way? I played it, simply expecting a great, engaging gaming experience and got what I asked for. How about you?

 

[Colodomoko]

Million Dollar Question to Everyone: How much money do you spend on videogames? $_$

 

[Alphavillain]

Million Dollar Question to Everyone: How much money do you spend on videogames? $_$

Too much. Just say that the million dollar bit of the question is not too far off. Buying Japanese games can be expensive, because you can't trade them in for new ones.

 

[Mausenheimmer]

I saw a bit of the game played, and I see what he means. I'm not too worried that it didn't push the envelope because not every game needs to. He's being a bit hypocritical, through the fact that he absolutely loved COD4, which revolutionized...what, exactly?

You could say Uncharted basically improved on all the games included in that mashup diagram; it added more free movement to Gears of War, it put better combat in Prince of Persia, and it ran far better than Far Cry.

CoD 4 revolutionized a franchise which was pigeon-holed in the tired World War 2 genre, has a class based multiplayer, and actually brought a lot of interesting guns to the table.

 

[Lord_Ascendant]

IT IS THE FACE OF GOD, BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ALL POWERFUL YAHTZEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Other than that, great review. It iS ripping off Indiana Jones............a ton.