Zero Punctuation: Valkyria Chronicles

Autocracy

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Feb 25, 2009
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HotTubTony said:
hey republicans all=dick cheney.

Often, opinions expressed in humor reflect what the speaker really thinks, or in this case, has been told what to think by sensationalist easy-to-listen-to media. Media that expresses its personal bias as common knowledge (an effective way to convince people of things). Here's a news flash: big media is all owned by big companies! Survival of that company's product (aka the news) depends on them being right, hence, expressing the management's personal speculations as general fact. This makes for seemingly credible information, and therefore tons and tons of money for said management. For someone who claims to have a clear perspective, he can sure dismiss half of an entire country very easily (adding to the sensationalism and ignorance).

And I know he doesnt care, nor would I care to convince anybody of anything (God forbid). Its funny to be dismissive. It really is.

PS Dick Cheney is a crazy mamma jamma

Rant over.
What a pointless and irrelevant rant. But I have to applaud you in admitting that it was and going through it anyway. Although you suffer from your own accusations or at least I think you do. You say he's generalizing republicans, right? Well, you're generalizing people like him and the media as a whole. That altogether isn't a great way of doing it but whatever.

It's weird that one little side joke is growing into something serious. Well, whatever.

I hope the rest of the review you had fun with.
 

z121231211

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Jun 24, 2008
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If you're going to bash JRPGs then find something new about them to bash about instead of things we already know. I hope you're reviews don't start having a second opening where you repeat why you absolutely hate JRPGs.
 

TerranReaper

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Mar 28, 2009
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Good review, although I must say, Valkyria Chronicles isn't that bad of a game. But then again, a review is mainly someone else's opinions. Also, why did Yahtzee not make fun of one of the character's boobs? Or did he not get that far?
 

OuroborosChoked

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Aug 20, 2008
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Is it even worth mentioning anymore when Yahtzee gets it wrong? I mean, does he even play the games he reviews anymore?

Yeah, there's no auto-save... but you can save between turns AND between moves. If there WAS auto-save, he'd be bitching that all his progress was over-written when he made a bad move.

Yeah, Welkin looks naiive, but he's competent, compassionate, and friendly... and not the least androgynous. Alicia isn't angry. Isara doesn't crave Welkin cock, either; they're just brother and sister. Were we even playing the same game?

Yeah, your opponents can shoot at you during your moving phase... and you can do the same to them. What's the point of even mentioning this? It's not part of the game that's broken in any way. It's entirely fair... though unrealistic. But since when has Yahtzee called for realism in games? This is a extremely hypocritical, Yahtzee...

I'm pretty sure you CAN skip cutscenes, but I'm not exactly sure, as I actually gave a damn about the story... I didn't just write it off. Oh, and you don't have to go back to the menu after EVERY cutscene: many of them link together. And, once you finish the game, you can replay all of the battles as much as you want.

All of this gives me the impression that Yahtzee didn't even finish the fucking game... again. It was probably too hard for him... like Bionic Commando was. There is no other game reviewer out there gets as much attention and as little gaming talent as Yahtzee and no other reviewer that I've seen bases his entire reviews off of his prejudices. This is just sloppy and unentertaining.

Oh, and you can also crouch in trenches... not just behind sandbags. Yeah, he didn't get very far.
 

CuddlyCombine

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Sep 12, 2007
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Tharticus said:
Another amusing episode. This was a jRPG, I wonder why Mr. Croshaw wants to review one?
I think the Escapist assigns him games to review. Or maybe he's being conscious in reviewing varied material.
 

gamegod25

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Jul 10, 2008
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I don't mind doing micro management if it's streamlined and intuitive, but I might still give it a rent if/when I get a PS3.
 

kboman

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Mar 13, 2008
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Whoa, really frothing at the mouth this week! Good review, very funny with some solid visual gags (loved the out of control spreadsheet one).
 

Obeliskos

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Jul 10, 2008
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Oh Yahtzee. If the infinite power of Christ is going to make you play a JRPG, can the infinite power of Christ at least make you play a good JRPG, like Persona 4?

The first and probably last JRPG review by ZP and it's THIS. /cheesewithyourwhine
 

HotTubTony

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May 13, 2009
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oh yeah i know its totally pointless. who can know whats really right anyways? i get impulsive with my forum-behavior sometimes
 

Glerken

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Dec 18, 2008
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Hm.
I liked it.
But it feels like something in the past few Zero Punctuations has been missing.

I'm not quite sure why that is... I guess I've just gotten too used to Yahtzee's style of humor.
 

Snipingkid

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Apr 17, 2009
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Wow, he actually reviewed a game I played and beat!
I liked how everyone had his or her own personality. Most of his complaints here seem to be from nitpicking too much. I do agree that the game needs autosave though. Not during the missions though, but the save button needs to be more obvious (it's hidden in the options menu).
 

MasterTroll

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Feb 20, 2009
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Autocracy said:
Who are you trying to convince? Who? Why? Honestly, the effort isn't worth it. Especially if you don't understand a key element. Taste. It's a matter of taste. What do you like? You like Valkyria Chronicles? Good. Keep liking it. Yahtzee doesn't. Move on.

You'll find that people have different tastes. Some people like chocolate, some people like Vanilla. Some people like Halo, some people like Half-Life. You can't just tell them they are wrong because you liked/hated the thing. They have every right to like whatever they want.
The problem here isn't taste, it is that Yahtzee outright exagerates the bad aspects of games to the point it sounds like he barely played the game at all. While it does enhance comedic effect and rage, and I am always amused by it, he is still not really the best person to use as a barometer for game quality. What people are complaining about is those who after seeing a Yahtzee review decide that it is the end all be all of opinions. People might miss out on a game they like because they take these reviews as srs bsns which they are most certainly not.
 

smokeraven

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Aug 22, 2008
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I love this game and this review was pure gold, the only real issue I have with it is that he said there wasn't an Autosave feature, there was, it doesn't help that it's a pain in the ass to find, but there is a mid-battle save system