Zombie battle plan

[ianuam]

Lots of Resi evil a few years back, remember; headshots only people. Apart from that i actually made a mental note of remote routes to seaports etc. I don't stockpiles, that would be silly. I do, however, keep a month's worth of emergency supplies in case of something possible happening, like attack taking out supply chains, electricity.

 

[sabotstarr]

find my friends uncle and go to the naval base in seal beach, then fly his Apache helicopter to Alaska after picking up Texans that have lots of ammo. then eat polar bears until the infected starve

 

[Silver]

I justify the many hours i spend playing Left 4 Dead as practice for the real zombie apocalypse to make it feel less like procrastination ^_^;;

seriously though i have a friend who has that "Zombie survival guide" book, that in all seriousness, discusses how to survive a zombie attack. whats most hilarious about it is that it's not meant to be funny at all! XD

You do realise that's a pretty tongue-in-cheek, not to say outright work of comedy, right? And that it's usually classified as humour, even by Max himself? That he classifies himself as a humour writer? No, no, of course you don't know that. How could you?

Oh, and by the way, everyone knows what it is, you don't have to explain it, it's not some obscure gem.


Anyway, since the topic says zombie BATTLE plan, my plan consists of several different units of zombies, organised after colour of their shirts. I don't really want to give them too detailed instructions, since they seem to wander aimlessly a lot. I'll have the redshirts at the front as cannon fodder, I'll put greenshirts after that to pick up the leftovers. Orange is the left flank circling around and attacking the enemy in the rear.

Wait, that's not what you meant? Then don't write that as the topic.

 

[steve141761]

Yes I have one, NO YOU CAN'T HEAR IT...

 

[LewsTherin]

pifff...I have a fully-vorpal, sentient, Holy Avenger +16 that shoots 30-dice lightning. I don't need a plan.

 

[Aumichan]

I have a crowbar and dehydrated food in my basement for just such an occasion. :3 good times my friend.

 

[fedpayne]

I'm not going to a supermarket, I'm going to IKEA. Generally just outside the cities, so no need to worry about mass overcrowding. They have food and hardware, enough to make weapons and barricades out of. Furthermore, in the two IKEAs that I've been to at least, are raised up a level off the ground - supported on pillars. They have one easily blockable stairway, and a lift. Easy to hold off. Plus, there was a kind of gallery down on the car park, so if there are infected milling around down there I can fashion traps and weapons and have fun. Or, if the water goes off, I can toss my waste down there. Then just sleep in a nice comfy IKEA bed, and wait for the infected to starve/decay/get killed by the army.

 

[curlycrouton]

Right ok you need to learn how to use the search button. Sorry to be rude but there are literally millions of these threads...

Indeed there are.

 

[Elurindel]

I should show you this, I think. [http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=zFLtUxncZcU]

EDIT:btw, I go with Grif on this one.

This. Freshly frozen corpsicles make much less intimidating prospects for zombies. Plus a slower rate of infection.
Plus, just get hold of everything useful, food, guns, electric generator, fortifications, PC...

 

[Zykon TheLich]

They keep on coming, they just won't die, can nothing stop the relentless march of the zombie threads?

 

[Rusty Bucket]

I'd kill myself. Are you seriously saying that if zombies were walking around trying to eat people, you'd get a shotgun and a cricket bat and go 'kick some ass'? No, you wouldn't. You would break down into a pathetic, sobbing mess when you realise that everything you ever liked has gone to hell.

 

[Zykon TheLich]

Well if the mods stickied one and threatened a banning if people made others. That might do the job.

It needs done be done. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

 

[imperialwar]

i think a more worthy question is DURING the zombie infection and the internet is the only way left to communicate ( no one who's phone number you know survived the initial break out ) would there still be TROLLS, NOOBS and SPAM ?

 

[Dangerious P. Cats]

Get friends, get canned goods, get cars, drive to an isolated area, live off cans, drive back, zombies will have rotted by then and it will all be over.

 

[Sycker]

I have a cricket bat in my room and a packet of HobNobs.

I need nothing else.

 

[Baonec]

i think a more worthy question is DURING the zombie infection and the internet is the only way left to communicate ( no one who's phone number you know survived the initial break out ) would there still be TROLLS, NOOBS and SPAM ?

More than ever for all the mods would be dead or taking out some pent up aggression on the undead masses.

 

[Lord_Ascendant]

My friends and I invented the Zombie Master Escape Plan. See I live on the coast, thus we can grab a boat big enough for us, plus lots of food, water and weapons. If thats gone, we start moving overland in an armored "Zmbie Crushinator" car armed to the teeth with shovel launching weapons. Thats right, shovels lauching weapon. Why? Because shovels are the bane of all zombies. If the Zombie Crushinator is stolen or incapacitated, we take our trusty shotguns and try to move overland on fooot towards Canada, where a friend will meet us with a cold insulated Zomie Crushinator and take us up into the frozen wastes of ALaska. I'll meet Grif there.

 

[Sycker]

My friends and I invented the Zombie Master Escape Plan. See I live on the coast, thus we can grab a boat big enough for us, plus lots of food, water and weapons. If thats gone, we start moving overland in an armored "Zmbie Crushinator" car armed to the teeth with shovel launching weapons. Thats right, shovels lauching weapon. Why? Because shovels are the bane of all zombies. If the Zombie Crushinator is stolen or incapacitated, we take our trusty shotguns and try to move overland on fooot towards Canada, where a friend will meet us with a cold insulated Zomie Crushinator and take us up into the frozen wastes of ALaska. I'll meet Grif there.

Zombie Crushinator = Killdozer?

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Killdozer

 

[willer357]

http://hacks.mit.edu/Hacks/by_year/2008/zombie_chainsaws/

That is all that is needed other than the spas 12 and 357 magnum

 

[Lord_Ascendant]

My friends and I invented the Zombie Master Escape Plan. See I live on the coast, thus we can grab a boat big enough for us, plus lots of food, water and weapons. If thats gone, we start moving overland in an armored "Zmbie Crushinator" car armed to the teeth with shovel launching weapons. Thats right, shovels lauching weapon. Why? Because shovels are the bane of all zombies. If the Zombie Crushinator is stolen or incapacitated, we take our trusty shotguns and try to move overland on fooot towards Canada, where a friend will meet us with a cold insulated Zomie Crushinator and take us up into the frozen wastes of ALaska. I'll meet Grif there.

Zombie Crushinator = Killdozer?

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Killdozer

it's basically an SUV we outfitted with a Ballista that shoots shovels. and theres a few portholes for shotguns. it's got 2 inch thick steel reiforcing on it. it looks, seriously, like a tank. we made 2 of them. we hide one in the forest and the other is my firend Alyssa's. if we loose ours, we cna grab hers when we reach Canada.