Zombie battle plan

[DigitalShinigami]

I justify the many hours i spend playing Left 4 Dead as practice for the real zombie apocalypse to make it feel less like procrastination ^_^;;

seriously though i have a friend who has that "Zombie survival guide" book, that in all seriousness, discusses how to survive a zombie attack. whats most hilarious about it is that it's not meant to be funny at all! XD

You do realise that's a pretty tongue-in-cheek, not to say outright work of comedy, right? And that it's usually classified as humour, even by Max himself? That he classifies himself as a humour writer? No, no, of course you don't know that. How could you?

Oh, and by the way, everyone knows what it is, you don't have to explain it, it's not some obscure gem.

It is? oh well I never actually read the thing myself, only skimmed sections, mostly assumed it was serious by the tone my friend had while describing methods of zombie decapitation and the various effectiveness thereof. I mean it's not like I perform detailed research of every book that comes up in passing conversation, just seemed like a mildly humorous anecdote.

 

[SoulCaliburFan]

Call Chuck Norris. Seriously

 

[Souplex]

Hole up in Brooklyn Naval yard. the place is literally a costal fortress and zombies aren't known for their ability to swim. I then watch and laugh as a swarm of rats, pidgeons and flys devour the zombies where they stand. I love New York.

 

[WolfThomas]

My dream home is pretty much zombie safe.

I'm thinking a two story rectangular Mexican style house with an inner courtyard. A foundation of concrete about a metre high, then windows at about waist height so approximately 2m above ground. The windows would have thick wooden shutters.
A thick wooden gate to enter the courtyard (big enough for a car) with a smaller door built into it.
Underground water tank or even cistern, solar panels on the roof, water from air generator and perhaps a greenhouse on the second story.

I'd have a 4x4 with hydrogen fuel cells that I can recharge via solar panels.

Now all I need is the money to afford it.

Living in rural Australia I could get a largish piece of land (5acres) about 5min out of town.

A downside of living in Australia (only in this scenario really) is the strict gun control, so I'd only really have bolt action rifles and double barreled shotguns.

Living in Australia, I figure (unless it originates here) we'd have plenty of time to prepare if the infection actually makes it here. If its a quick infection ala 28days it would be really hard to carry it here. A long incubation infection time could be countered with insane quarantining, shooting down any plan that enter our airspace and sinking any ship that approaches.

 

[Ares Tyr]

Read the Zombie Survival Guide. While I may have an edge up on the average man being military-trained, I'd say you'd be okay going by the ol' Max Brooks plan.

 

[Berethond]

My plan would be to head for my local mountains bringing a crapload of food and supplies, as well as a few friends. There's a rock formation that is close to a mesa, but narrower and taller, with a single staircase built all the way from the bottom to the top. It's got a ranger watch station on top. Get the supplies up, and disable the staircase when we're all up. Oh, I forgot to mention the climbing gear, gotta have climbing gear.

 

[Atvomat_Nikonov]

http://hacks.mit.edu/Hacks/by_year/2008/zombie_chainsaws/

That is all that is needed other than the spas 12 and 357 magnum

Actually, your best bet for weaponry is a Trench Spike [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trench_spike](Melee weapon), an M1 Carbine [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M1_carbine](Primary Weapon) and an FN 5ive-7even [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FN_five_seven](Secondary Weapon). The Carbine and the 5ive-7even have light ammunition, so alot could be carried and the trench spike is very compact and useful melee weapon for when the time arises.

 

[Jamash]

I think I'd rather go with a Mel Brooks plan than a Max Brooks plan.

I mean the books are well written and entertaining, but actually how well researched are they? In one chapter he talks about different types of armour, what to wear and what not to wear, he even talks about plate armour, but not once does he mention motorcycle leathers, which would be an obvious choice for me.

I wouldn't follow his book to the letter, but rather improvise using my instincts and other, proper survival books (like ones not found in the 'Fiction' section of a book shop).

Anyway my plan, which had in my head for many, many years, since first watching Night of the Comet as a kid, would be to get a car and drive to the town's Police station, break in and get some weapons, maybe some guns if I can unlock them, get in a Police riot van, maybe get some more guns and a heavier armoured vehicle from the local army barracks (if I'm staying on the mainland).

I live in the UK though so guns would be harder to come by & I have no training in them whatsoever, so they'd probably be more dangerous to me than useful.

Actually, since I live on the North West coast of England & have a boat here, the 1st think I'd do is make for my boat and sail to the Isle of Man, which should be easier to survive on than mainland Britain.
Then I'd improvise the rest of my plan and wing it, and probably die too, in a really lame, non Zombie related way, like from contracting Tetanus or breaking my leg and getting Gangrene.

 

[Bored Tomatoe]

Me and my friend have this all planned out. Wal-Mart. Since it has just about everything you could possible need, food, clothes, guns and ammo, etc. And ours is next to a Home Depot so we can build obstacles or fortifications or whatever we need to. And it's near a Gamestop.

I had the same plan walmart wise, but my brother argues that home depot is the better option...He obviously didn't think that food would be an issue....

 

[Bored Tomatoe]

Read the Zombie Survival Guide. While I may have an edge up on the average man being military-trained, I'd say you'd be okay going by the ol' Max Brooks plan.

Good to see you back Ares.

 

[Ares Tyr]

Read the Zombie Survival Guide. While I may have an edge up on the average man being military-trained, I'd say you'd be okay going by the ol' Max Brooks plan.

Good to see you back Ares.

Good to be back.

And back on Jamash. My plan is so detailed at complex, and requires so many "Well, what exactly are we talkin' about here? Level 1? 2?" questions that I can't be bothered to write it down. It'd be its own book really.

This is a question I've given an immense amount of thought to. And unfortunately, being that I'm in the military, my first step would be "How do I avoid being in that first meatshield the military sends when they discover the zombie threat". After that, it's all fair game.

 

[Bored Tomatoe]

Read the Zombie Survival Guide. While I may have an edge up on the average man being military-trained, I'd say you'd be okay going by the ol' Max Brooks plan.

Good to see you back Ares.

Good to be back.

And back on Jamash. My plan is so detailed at complex, and requires so many "Well, what exactly are we talkin' about here? Level 1? 2?" questions that I can't be bothered to write it down. It'd be its own book really.

This is a question I've given an immense amount of thought to. And unfortunately, being that I'm in the military, my first step would be "How to I avoid being in that first meatshield the military sends when they discover the zombie threat". After that, it's all fair game.

Mine involves Golf Clubs.....

 

[Conqueror Kenny]

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=CbnxcMtkf0M
I'm with these guys. They seem to have it down.

 

[Mray3460]

Two Plans, in order of preference:

Plan A: If I can see the outbreak spreading, skip town. I have a couple of relatives who own a huge ranch out in the middle of nowhere that they use as a hunting reserve (Few people, lots of weapons).

Plan B: If the outbreak is sudden (or the city is quarantined before I can get out), go to my old high school, enter the fallout shelter under the main building (left over from the late cold war [dead serious]), seal myself inside, and subsist off of the water purification plant, geothermal power, and military ration packs meant to last over sixty years that were originally meant to feed well over 200 people for six months. Listen to the radio in the shelter for updates, and wait out the outbreak.

 

[Silver]

i think a more worthy question is DURING the zombie infection and the internet is the only way left to communicate ( no one who's phone number you know survived the initial break out ) would there still be TROLLS, NOOBS and SPAM ?

Of course.

"HALP HALP HALP HALP, HOW DO I SHOT ZOMBIE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

"First!"

"Sorry for the late reply, you take the gun and pull the trigger."

"Brains..."

"Aww, too late."

"fucking n00b, cant even kill single zombie lol"

 

[DrHobo]

1.Go to local church

2.enlist priest

3.melt faces