100 Things learnt from video games
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1. You cannot die, because you are the main character (this rule applies to every human on the world).
2. If you can choose dialogue and the game doesn't have a karma system, then it doesn't matter what options you choose, the conversation'll get to the same conclusion.
3. You can always jump thrice the amount that an athlete in real-life could (double this if in third-person).
4. You can't and will never get to the one you're chasing.
2. If you can choose dialogue and the game doesn't have a karma system, then it doesn't matter what options you choose, the conversation'll get to the same conclusion.
3. You can always jump thrice the amount that an athlete in real-life could (double this if in third-person).
4. You can't and will never get to the one you're chasing.
1. If it's shinny it must be important.
2.Only things that cause flouting text to appear in your vision may be picked up. If there might be a puzzle around, then you must pick it up, no matter how mundane or stupid it might be.
3.You can only pick up 9 or 99 or 999 of any object.
4.Thousands and thousands of bullets weight nothing but a leather duster weighs 3 pounds.
5.Looking at your watch makes you invisible.
6.Death is just a minor annoyance unless the other team is wins while dead.
7.Bullets do little physical damage but a close range attack, especially from behind can kill you.
8.A butterfly knife is more deadly then dozens of minigun rounds to the chest.
9.The red ones go faster.
10.There are many doors but only the important ones open.
11.You can do a double jump by ignoring the laws of physics and jumping again in the air.
12.Everything comes in a treasure chest even if its hundreds of mile below the earth in a completely unexplored cave or within the bowls of a monster.
13.Dozens of shots to the body are okay but a shot to the head will kill.
14.When someone dies his limbs suddenly become incredibly unstable and fly off for no reason. Also, a shot to the head will cause your skull and brain to explode.
16.DO... A... BARRLEROLL!
17.The more ridiculously elaborate and ornamental a sword is, the more damage it does.
18.Once you pick up a heal pack it will instantly mends broken bones, remove bullets and cause tissue to instantly regenerate, without you even having to open it but it will then vanish into thin air.
19.Ammo is randomly spread around the battle field for some reason and once taken it will pop back into existence in the spot spot some time latter.
20.No matter how many henchmen you kill, there is always more.
21.Batman can beat anyone.
22.All your base are belong to us.
23.For some reason you will never pick up useless junk, only things that are important for combat or can be used to solve a puzzle.
24.Skeletons can survive a nuke that utterly destroyed the house it was in.
25.Even though you seem to have lost your memory and can no longer speak since the beginning of your adventure, none of your close personal friends and parents will notice.
26.Welcome to die!
27.A bright glowing arrow will magically guide you to the next important location that you need to be at.
28.Even though the world is about to be destroyed by a mystically evil, there is always time for a sidequest.
29.Old ladies have basements full of mice.
30.If it looks different, kill it.
31.Shooting rockets at your feet is an effective way to jump higher.
32.The boss is hidden in a castle that can only be reached after visiting the four corners of the earth and and space to collect mystically mcguffins of power.
33.Every henchmen is weak and easily killed but the one that looks slightly different is a super powerful one.
34.Physicists make the best saviors of humanity
35.Once a gun enters your hands it instantly becomes several times more powerful and effective.
36.During a cutscene you become paralyzed and cannot the evil guy from slowly summoning a mystically evil to destroy the world.
37.The world is made of long linear corridors, so don't worry about getting lo9st in an unknown enemy base.
38.If the world is not a series of linear corridors, then you will have some kind of map that slowly builds an image of the world as you explo9re, even though you're not drawing it.
39.Eating food and sleeping heals all wounds including cuts, bullet wounds, broken bones, burn injuries, cracked ribs, and occasionally death for your friends.
40.Your princess is in another castle.
41.Time stops while talking someone or looking at your things.
42. If you're from Japan, when fighting enemies they will conveniently line up in front of you on the opposite side of the battle field and will wait as you pick a move and attack so long as you extend them the same courtesy.
43.The best weapon can only be collected at right before the final battle.
44.Cardboard cutouts masks are the best disguises.
45.Guns that manipulate gravity are fun and deadly.
46.The cake is a lie... but it is delicious and moist.
47.Weak monsters live around your home village and the strong monsters live far away by the evil villain's lair, and a slow gradient exist between you and him.
48. Townsfolk that are terrorized by weak monsters near your home will bizarrely be survive just fine miles away in a town surround by more deadly monsters.
49.Health potions are red, Magic potions are blue, and green potions are poison... or another magic potion.
50. Metal shields are indestructible even if hit by mystically evil magic, lava boulders, or lighting. They also will never show any battle marks.
51. You will never have blood on your sword.
52. An indicator in the lower portion of your visions somehow tells you exactly how much damage you can take before you keel over instantly.
53.As long as you have at least one HP, you show no physically signs of injury or trauma but will die the instant you hit zero.
54.There's a zombie on your lawn.
55.Taking out a full clip of ammo and replacing it with a new clip will will preserve any remaining bullets in the old clip.
56. No matter who you are or where, every graveyard has zombies.
57.There is always a way to move forward, no matter how bad the situation looks.
58.Since your the hero of the land, you may break into people's homes and rummage through their things and they won't mind and will in fact give you information about the area.
59.Every legend that you hear is true... always.
60.No Zombie Is Safe From Chicago Ted!
61.Everyone in the entire world uses the same from of money even men made of living rock or villages lost within the earth for a thousand years or locked within a time rift.
62.After the nuclear Apocalypse, if you owned a bottling company, then your thrifty rich.
63.If you're an assassin, even though you never change your outfit, which clear stand out from the outfits of everyone else, guards wills till fail to recognize you even after killing a number of high profile targets in the area.
64.Despite the fact that you may explore the entire world, you will only see a couple dozen villages and no more then a few hundred people.
65.Supersoldiers are a good way of winning a war but unfortunately always escape and begin to kill their creators.
66.SPY SAPPIN MY SENTRY!
67.So long as you kill someone while nobody is looking, none will be suspicius about you standing over a man's corpse.
68. Crouching makes you sneak better.
69. A blow from the back of the head makes a guard pass out but one from the front is ineffective.
70. never choose to specialize in swimming.
71. When kidnapped you will instantly black out and be awakened by a fellow prisoner or your captor yelling at you.
72.Even though someone just contacted you on a radio in your ear and you are speaking loudly into it, nearby guards will politely pretend not to hear you and will still be unaware of your whereabouts.
73. Micro communicators have 5 bars even in underground nuclear missile chambers... on the moon.
74. There were tons of monsters around in medieval times but they were all killed by grinding adventurers shortly after.
75. If a door leads outside or to another area, it will always be closed, no matter if you just came through it.
76. Occasionally you will temporarily see strange visions and advise as you go thorough doors.
77. Even in the face of imminent destruction, shop keeper still charge you to buy the stuff you need to save the Earth.
78. Iron boot are only heavy while you wear them.
79. Wearing blue makes you immune to drowning.
80. Mushrooms give you superpowers.
81. Anyone who you are sent to protect will instantly become suicidal the moment you meet them and will run ahead straight into enemy fire rather then hiding behind you or in a safe spot.
82. You cannot look down and see your feet.
83. Space marines are fond of the using the terms "1337", "hax" and "n00b".
84. One man can easily kill the entire enemy army and take out their main base, even though nobody has ever thought of doing that before.
85. Enemies will attack you in small groups out of courtesy and the enemy will never decide to attack you with a hundred soldier at once.
86. Boss monsters are petty and rather then working together to whoop you by having a dozen attack at once, they will isolate themselves so you can slowly pick them off.
87. Nazis are evil, kill them without any regard for who they are or the family they might have.
88. Even though a wall may appear to be crumbling, even if you hit it will a missile it will move in the slightest bit, unless it is marked as breakable.
89. Cars do not have doors, they simple teleport you inside.
90. A gun that shoots a stream of brightly colors light can heal your allies.
91. Spike traps are an instant death dispute the fact that you can survive dozens of bullets and physical attacks otherwise.
92. Space marines always have heavy armor and are usually bald.
93. Large stationary objects cannot be moved no matter how much you push on them, throw grenades near them, or hit them.
94. You do not leave foot prints and the ground cannot be moved, even by missiles or explosions.
95. Named weapons are always batter then generic weapons.
96. Using the vents are the most efficient strategy for stealth, nobody ever checks them and there are never any fans, grates, or other obstacles in them to block your path.
97.People will not talk to you even if you stare at them for hours, but the moment you wish to talk to them, they suddenly clam up and begin to strike a conversation.
98. Nobody will recognize you as the hero of the land, no matter how many enemies you kill or how many evil plans you stop on your quest.
99. Killing lots of weak enemies somehow makes you stronger against more powerful enemies.
100. You can carry dozens of weapons, tons of ammo, and a number of various other assorted junk on your person and yet not have it be visible in any way.
101. Gamers love lists, but sometimes get board and read just the first few and last few items.
[/longest post ever]
2.Only things that cause flouting text to appear in your vision may be picked up. If there might be a puzzle around, then you must pick it up, no matter how mundane or stupid it might be.
3.You can only pick up 9 or 99 or 999 of any object.
4.Thousands and thousands of bullets weight nothing but a leather duster weighs 3 pounds.
5.Looking at your watch makes you invisible.
6.Death is just a minor annoyance unless the other team is wins while dead.
7.Bullets do little physical damage but a close range attack, especially from behind can kill you.
8.A butterfly knife is more deadly then dozens of minigun rounds to the chest.
9.The red ones go faster.
10.There are many doors but only the important ones open.
11.You can do a double jump by ignoring the laws of physics and jumping again in the air.
12.Everything comes in a treasure chest even if its hundreds of mile below the earth in a completely unexplored cave or within the bowls of a monster.
13.Dozens of shots to the body are okay but a shot to the head will kill.
14.When someone dies his limbs suddenly become incredibly unstable and fly off for no reason. Also, a shot to the head will cause your skull and brain to explode.
16.DO... A... BARRLEROLL!
17.The more ridiculously elaborate and ornamental a sword is, the more damage it does.
18.Once you pick up a heal pack it will instantly mends broken bones, remove bullets and cause tissue to instantly regenerate, without you even having to open it but it will then vanish into thin air.
19.Ammo is randomly spread around the battle field for some reason and once taken it will pop back into existence in the spot spot some time latter.
20.No matter how many henchmen you kill, there is always more.
21.Batman can beat anyone.
22.All your base are belong to us.
23.For some reason you will never pick up useless junk, only things that are important for combat or can be used to solve a puzzle.
24.Skeletons can survive a nuke that utterly destroyed the house it was in.
25.Even though you seem to have lost your memory and can no longer speak since the beginning of your adventure, none of your close personal friends and parents will notice.
26.Welcome to die!
27.A bright glowing arrow will magically guide you to the next important location that you need to be at.
28.Even though the world is about to be destroyed by a mystically evil, there is always time for a sidequest.
29.Old ladies have basements full of mice.
30.If it looks different, kill it.
31.Shooting rockets at your feet is an effective way to jump higher.
32.The boss is hidden in a castle that can only be reached after visiting the four corners of the earth and and space to collect mystically mcguffins of power.
33.Every henchmen is weak and easily killed but the one that looks slightly different is a super powerful one.
34.Physicists make the best saviors of humanity
35.Once a gun enters your hands it instantly becomes several times more powerful and effective.
36.During a cutscene you become paralyzed and cannot the evil guy from slowly summoning a mystically evil to destroy the world.
37.The world is made of long linear corridors, so don't worry about getting lo9st in an unknown enemy base.
38.If the world is not a series of linear corridors, then you will have some kind of map that slowly builds an image of the world as you explo9re, even though you're not drawing it.
39.Eating food and sleeping heals all wounds including cuts, bullet wounds, broken bones, burn injuries, cracked ribs, and occasionally death for your friends.
40.Your princess is in another castle.
41.Time stops while talking someone or looking at your things.
42. If you're from Japan, when fighting enemies they will conveniently line up in front of you on the opposite side of the battle field and will wait as you pick a move and attack so long as you extend them the same courtesy.
43.The best weapon can only be collected at right before the final battle.
44.Cardboard cutouts masks are the best disguises.
45.Guns that manipulate gravity are fun and deadly.
46.The cake is a lie... but it is delicious and moist.
47.Weak monsters live around your home village and the strong monsters live far away by the evil villain's lair, and a slow gradient exist between you and him.
48. Townsfolk that are terrorized by weak monsters near your home will bizarrely be survive just fine miles away in a town surround by more deadly monsters.
49.Health potions are red, Magic potions are blue, and green potions are poison... or another magic potion.
50. Metal shields are indestructible even if hit by mystically evil magic, lava boulders, or lighting. They also will never show any battle marks.
51. You will never have blood on your sword.
52. An indicator in the lower portion of your visions somehow tells you exactly how much damage you can take before you keel over instantly.
53.As long as you have at least one HP, you show no physically signs of injury or trauma but will die the instant you hit zero.
54.There's a zombie on your lawn.
55.Taking out a full clip of ammo and replacing it with a new clip will will preserve any remaining bullets in the old clip.
56. No matter who you are or where, every graveyard has zombies.
57.There is always a way to move forward, no matter how bad the situation looks.
58.Since your the hero of the land, you may break into people's homes and rummage through their things and they won't mind and will in fact give you information about the area.
59.Every legend that you hear is true... always.
60.No Zombie Is Safe From Chicago Ted!
61.Everyone in the entire world uses the same from of money even men made of living rock or villages lost within the earth for a thousand years or locked within a time rift.
62.After the nuclear Apocalypse, if you owned a bottling company, then your thrifty rich.
63.If you're an assassin, even though you never change your outfit, which clear stand out from the outfits of everyone else, guards wills till fail to recognize you even after killing a number of high profile targets in the area.
64.Despite the fact that you may explore the entire world, you will only see a couple dozen villages and no more then a few hundred people.
65.Supersoldiers are a good way of winning a war but unfortunately always escape and begin to kill their creators.
66.SPY SAPPIN MY SENTRY!
67.So long as you kill someone while nobody is looking, none will be suspicius about you standing over a man's corpse.
68. Crouching makes you sneak better.
69. A blow from the back of the head makes a guard pass out but one from the front is ineffective.
70. never choose to specialize in swimming.
71. When kidnapped you will instantly black out and be awakened by a fellow prisoner or your captor yelling at you.
72.Even though someone just contacted you on a radio in your ear and you are speaking loudly into it, nearby guards will politely pretend not to hear you and will still be unaware of your whereabouts.
73. Micro communicators have 5 bars even in underground nuclear missile chambers... on the moon.
74. There were tons of monsters around in medieval times but they were all killed by grinding adventurers shortly after.
75. If a door leads outside or to another area, it will always be closed, no matter if you just came through it.
76. Occasionally you will temporarily see strange visions and advise as you go thorough doors.
77. Even in the face of imminent destruction, shop keeper still charge you to buy the stuff you need to save the Earth.
78. Iron boot are only heavy while you wear them.
79. Wearing blue makes you immune to drowning.
80. Mushrooms give you superpowers.
81. Anyone who you are sent to protect will instantly become suicidal the moment you meet them and will run ahead straight into enemy fire rather then hiding behind you or in a safe spot.
82. You cannot look down and see your feet.
83. Space marines are fond of the using the terms "1337", "hax" and "n00b".
84. One man can easily kill the entire enemy army and take out their main base, even though nobody has ever thought of doing that before.
85. Enemies will attack you in small groups out of courtesy and the enemy will never decide to attack you with a hundred soldier at once.
86. Boss monsters are petty and rather then working together to whoop you by having a dozen attack at once, they will isolate themselves so you can slowly pick them off.
87. Nazis are evil, kill them without any regard for who they are or the family they might have.
88. Even though a wall may appear to be crumbling, even if you hit it will a missile it will move in the slightest bit, unless it is marked as breakable.
89. Cars do not have doors, they simple teleport you inside.
90. A gun that shoots a stream of brightly colors light can heal your allies.
91. Spike traps are an instant death dispute the fact that you can survive dozens of bullets and physical attacks otherwise.
92. Space marines always have heavy armor and are usually bald.
93. Large stationary objects cannot be moved no matter how much you push on them, throw grenades near them, or hit them.
94. You do not leave foot prints and the ground cannot be moved, even by missiles or explosions.
95. Named weapons are always batter then generic weapons.
96. Using the vents are the most efficient strategy for stealth, nobody ever checks them and there are never any fans, grates, or other obstacles in them to block your path.
97.People will not talk to you even if you stare at them for hours, but the moment you wish to talk to them, they suddenly clam up and begin to strike a conversation.
98. Nobody will recognize you as the hero of the land, no matter how many enemies you kill or how many evil plans you stop on your quest.
99. Killing lots of weak enemies somehow makes you stronger against more powerful enemies.
100. You can carry dozens of weapons, tons of ammo, and a number of various other assorted junk on your person and yet not have it be visible in any way.
101. Gamers love lists, but sometimes get board and read just the first few and last few items.
[/longest post ever]
You can survive direct hits from tanks, be on the verge of death. As long as you grab a first aid kit, in seconds, your perfectly good to go like it never happened.
Grenades will not make you fly away, you will only topple over yourself. (only in CoD4 i guess)
The badass moustached man DOES NOT DIE. Ever.
Smash pots for rupees.
In the future, people will be able to shoot hornets from their hands.
Batman eats punks like these for breakfast. Without milk.
The cake is a lie. The spy is a liar. Is the spy a caker?
The badass moustached man DOES NOT DIE. Ever.
Smash pots for rupees.
In the future, people will be able to shoot hornets from their hands.
Batman eats punks like these for breakfast. Without milk.
The cake is a lie. The spy is a liar. Is the spy a caker?
Giant colorful balls should be avoided at all costs - Katamari series
The cake isn't a lie - X-men Origins Wolverine
Pistols hurt as much as guns with giant blades when they smack you - Halo series
No one but you can fight worth crap - Oblivion
Everyone loves to jump in front of you during fights - Oblivion
Drinking toilet water makes your bones regrow - Fallout 3
The cake isn't a lie - X-men Origins Wolverine
Pistols hurt as much as guns with giant blades when they smack you - Halo series
No one but you can fight worth crap - Oblivion
Everyone loves to jump in front of you during fights - Oblivion
Drinking toilet water makes your bones regrow - Fallout 3
The ONLY important substance in the human body is blood. If you are injured, blood is knocked out of you, reducing your overall health. Fortunately by the same token the only thing necessary to recover from harm is more blood, either in the form of handy medical kits or by using the body's natural blood recovery method, crouching.
Anyone in an advisory position to someone possessed of political authority is evil and manipulative. There are no exceptions. Even if someone gained their job because they genuinely wanted to help their people, simply being an adviser will make them evil.
If you are in a vehicle you are completely immune to harm.
Food located in random crates, trash cans, etc is perfectly safe to eat and highly nutritious.
Ammunition can be found practically anywhere, just randomly scattered around. Even if someone does not own a gun, there's a good chance some ammo can be found around their home or workplace. After spare pens and pencils, loose ammo is the most common miscellaneous object one can find.
The average human being can jump upwards of twice their own height from a dead standstill.
Unless you own a set of lockpicks or the appropriate key, a door is one of the most sturdy structures ever made.
Similarly, even if you are the most accomplished lockpicker of all time some locks simply cannot be picked or bypassed in any way other than by the key that opens them.
All members of law enforcement suffer from cripplingly severe ADHD. If you are able to evade them for even half a minute they will get distracted and wander off to go talk about pokemans or ride bikes.
Improvised weapons are pure fantasy. Can't be done.
Barrels are only allowed to contain one substance: highly explosive fuel, and the danger a barrel presents is directly proportionate to its redness. In fact if you painted an empty barrel red, it would be able to explode.
Anyone in an advisory position to someone possessed of political authority is evil and manipulative. There are no exceptions. Even if someone gained their job because they genuinely wanted to help their people, simply being an adviser will make them evil.
If you are in a vehicle you are completely immune to harm.
Food located in random crates, trash cans, etc is perfectly safe to eat and highly nutritious.
Ammunition can be found practically anywhere, just randomly scattered around. Even if someone does not own a gun, there's a good chance some ammo can be found around their home or workplace. After spare pens and pencils, loose ammo is the most common miscellaneous object one can find.
The average human being can jump upwards of twice their own height from a dead standstill.
Unless you own a set of lockpicks or the appropriate key, a door is one of the most sturdy structures ever made.
Similarly, even if you are the most accomplished lockpicker of all time some locks simply cannot be picked or bypassed in any way other than by the key that opens them.
All members of law enforcement suffer from cripplingly severe ADHD. If you are able to evade them for even half a minute they will get distracted and wander off to go talk about pokemans or ride bikes.
Improvised weapons are pure fantasy. Can't be done.
Barrels are only allowed to contain one substance: highly explosive fuel, and the danger a barrel presents is directly proportionate to its redness. In fact if you painted an empty barrel red, it would be able to explode.
They maming cake references again? Marvellous, I need bones.Xero Scythe said:
OT: That red barrels will ALWAYS blow up.
And that no-one actually cares about the cake anymore.
