253: Physician, Gank Thyself

[Nightfalke]

I've been there. Done that. Got the hell out.

It was worst for me during the MC/BWL days of WoW Classic. 40 man raids, going for all hours of the night. Almost destroyed my marriage.

I love the collaberative experience that is raiding. I love getting a group of friends together to tackle a problem that one of us couldn't solve on our own. I love having my role and performing it to the best of my ability and taking down the bosses together. I love being depended on.

But when it took time away from my family and my home life...it had to end, and I'm not sorry I left when I did.

 

[Uncompetative]

An insightful and well-articulated piece.

This makes me think of the Skinner box:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skinner_box

 

[Wolfram23]

Really great article!

I quit WoW about 13 or 14 months ago. I had been playing since release which accounts for - what, 5 years? I don't even know. In that time I had only taken maybe 3 breaks for a couple months before a new patch or expansion sucked me back in. I wasn't completely unreasonable in it but I certainly spent far too much time in WoW. Still, I wasn't quite failing university... but my grades weren't good, either.

Now that I've quit, I feel like I have a much more interesting life. I have a great gf and I see friends more and just generally get out more. I still game quite a bit - I even just bought a brand new PC and I have a PS3 - but the great thing about non mmo, non competitive games is you don't feel like you're missing out on something if you quit. Your "friends" won't be getting some uber leet gear and leaving you in the dust (and in envy). I have become mildly addicted to MW2 and BC2 multiplayer for short periods - a few weeks each. Similar reasons to an mmo, that is, you level up and get better gear for more pwnage. But you don't make friends so it's still a fairly personal experience and also you don't miss out if you don't play for a few days.

When I played WoW, in the entire 5 (or so) years, I never joined a raiding guild because I didn't want to have that amount of commitment and dedication, requiring a raid schedule. Even so, I did a boat load of instances and heroics and pvp, and finally in the BC expansion tried a little raiding in Kara and once I did Gruuls. Come WotLK and raiding was very accessible, so I was spending my weekends PuGing 10 and 25 man raids. Got pretty pimped out on 2 characters. Luckily tho, I got a bit bored at the lack of progression available to me and quit. Decided not to go back and quite happy about that, although I still, to this day, occasionally think how fun it could be to reactivate my account and drive my mechano hog around one more time =/

 

[Plinglebob]

Thank you Escapist for publishing this article. I suffer from WoW addiction and this article really shows why.

My tale. Bit long so spoilered.

Spoiler

As a bit of background, I've always been a bit of a social outcast and because of both my parents and bad school experiences, I've always had difficulty talking and interacting with people which means I rarely leave the house. I also suffer from depression which means a lot of the time I'm not very nice to be around.

I first got into World of Warcraft shortly after the release of Zel Gurub and because I like helping people I decided to play a priest. Shortly after starting, I joined a small RP guild and even though I didn't talk much, it was nice to see other people talking and because I was a priest, it was nice to feel needed and useful in various quests and instances. Once I hit 60, I started to get a bit bored with the game so left the guild and I probably would have quit if it wasn't for the fact I was standing by Ironforge bank one evening when I was whispered by another Priest asking if I'd like to go Raiding. In Raiding, I had finally found my place in the world. It was everything I was missing in my life. I was finally somewhere where I felt wanted and helpful and because it was a fairly casual guild, it was really social and fun. Also, because the interaction wasn't face to face, I felt able to talk and interactwith the other guild members.

During this first period, which lasted up to around 1/2 way through Burning Crusades lifetime, I took various breaks when guild politics got a bit annoying, but the signs of addiction were there. I was spending more and more of my time online lurking in the guild channels while questing or just sitting in Shattrath with WoW in a window while doing other things. I eventually left after arguing with the Guild Leader in one of the guild channels after they had gone on a 10 man raid after I had asked them 1 hour before to hold it so I could join as it had gear I needed and they were complaining I wasn't geared enough.

I ended up un-employed and after about 6 months, Wrath was released. Like a lot of addictions, you forget the downsides of your habit or you think you can keep it under control and I saw it as a replacement for the social interactions I used to get at work. I loaded up my old priest and eventually settled in with a group of regular players and levelled with from around level 75. The joy came back. I remembered why I loved playing this game and the group I was with were people from a mix of guilds who had met doing instances. I started spending more and more time online, always making sure I was available if someone needed a healer and it got to the point wher I would log in soon after I woke up and would stay online until 2am doing instances, 1uesting and chatting. It was after we formed a guild of our own and hit Naxx10 that I hit rock bottom. As a group we were always short of healers which meant in Raids we were often running them with just 2 healers which is a lot of stress and work and as time went on, I found I was getting more and more stressed to the point where twice I had to abandon a raid because I was shaking. However, I still kept going because I needed that feeling of being useful and helpful.

3 events in a week eventually led me to quitting and un-installing.

The first was I was continually arguing with the raid leader about the boss order. For reasons I've never been able to figure out, he decided to always do the 4 horseman fight as the last thing in the evening. For those that don't know, this is normally done with 3 healers healing 3 seperate groups. However, because of our lack of healers and the guild used to my healing abilities (sorry to boast a little, but I'm GOOD!) we ran it so I had to heal through a lot of damage very quickly. This was hard and stressful and the last thing I wanted to do at 10:30pm. However, he refused to change it.
The second was our first time as a guild getting to Kel'Thuzad. We decided to take a 5 min break and as I got up, I managed to run over my heel with my chair, which ripped a large chunk out the back and it started to bleed heavily. Instead of doing the sensible thing and quitting for the night, I just got a bowl, stuck my foot in it and kept raiding.
The third was I told the guild I couldn't heal for a while because of the stress and so went Shadow. However, because of a lack of healers on the server, raid kept being called because of the numbers and they started to ask me to go back to healing. I quit without saying anything and uninstalled.

I'm not proud of how I acted and looking back I can see how badly it effected me. However, even after all this, I'm still tempted to go back occasionally because, as always, I forget how bad things can get.

MMO addiction fill 2 needs for people. The first, like all addictions, is that it provides a way to escape from your life and forget about your problems. The second is unique to MMOs and that is it fills the need people have to be with others. Humans are by nature social animals and so for people like myself who have difficulty being with people in real life, it fills an instinctual need. This is them compounded by the fact that its easy to kid yourself into believing it isn't a problem because you end up believing the interaction you have is a good enough substitute to being in the same room as other people.

 

[Sayvara]

I find this article to be everything from heartwarming and informative, to sensationalist and silly.

It's heartwarming and informative because it speaks of why the phrase "It's just a game" is so utterly misguided and clueless. No it's not just a game, and it's not just a game. It's a team sport. It's a sense of achievemnt. It's mind-jogging. It's social networking. It's socializing. It's immersive and it's fun. So it's more than the game... and the game is not to be taken lightly.

Not understanding that is what I believe is the root cause of nine out of ten conflicts when it comes to gaming and using the computer. Relatives and parents do not understand this aspect. They think that the "game" can be halted at any time, without prior warning. That is about as silly as walking out to a football player in the middle of practice and say "We're leaving for gramps, now".

The article is good because it explains why this kind of behaviour by the non-gaming part is an even bigger source of conflict than the game itself. Planning ahead... like saying "Oi, dinner in 15 mins, allright?" instead of going with the disaster "It's dinner NOW! Let go or I'll friggin' cut the cable". The latter is doomed to fail.



The article sensationalist and silly because it speaks of "addiction" as it we were talking drugs or gamling addiction. Yes it is true that some people use games as escapism in an a manner that speaks of a problem. But seriously, how often is it the game's fault, and not just a symptom of problems that exist elsewhere in life? If someone sits on his/her room watchign TV 6 hours per day, do we speak of "TV-addiction", or do we start looking at why?

The silliness is that just because gaming can be associated with problems the game is assumed to the source of the problem, when it in most cases is a symptom of a problem.

/S - 36 years old - gamer since 1984 - parent of two kids - Rogue lvl 80 - married - spouse has Hunter lvl 80.

 

[Gantoris13]

Fantastic artical, It's nice to see someone actually give it a try to see what the deal is about instead of just standing on the outside judging those that partake. It is very easy to get drawn into those type of games, the quick reward for effort that often doesn't exist in real life is a huge draw.

Personally I'm one of the people that went through a period of addiction to them with ultima online, then starwars galaxies. During college I would skip classes to play and avoid everyone in my life. It takes a strong mind to be able to balance out the game and real life, especially when real life isn't going so well.
Currently I feel that I have found a balance, I play LOTRO a few times a week for only an hour or two at a time and avoid raiding. I often go a week or two without playing at all. It has turned into a nice distraction instead of a need, much like any other game. It also helps that LOTRO has a lifetime account option, that way I don't feel that I need to play all the time to get a good value for the money I spent.

 

[Kwatsu]

Fascinating read. We need someone like Kline to speak out when the next WOW ADDICTION ATE MY HAMSTER article goes the rounds.

 

[Sodoff]

interesting read. Scary at first,

Ive played WoW myself , I occaisonally log in to play a few hours. But Ive never been in a raiding party, and thats because Ive seen how my friends chooses to stay home friday/saturday night to raid.
And that creeps me out.
Im not trying to mock or patronize anyone that chooses a night of WoW over a night of drinking or chilling with your mates (though it may sound like it, if anyone takes offense I apoligize in advance)

But for me, my social life has always been extremely important, sure Ive been in very social guilds, Ive had a great time with people who'se avatars I dont even remember now. But reality will always be more awesome than Azeroth to me.

 

[Crunchy English]

Nice to hear so many people quitting WoW and getting healthy. I mean, that's not to say that WoW is a disease in and of itself, just that its nice to see that so many people have the common sense to play in moderation or not at all.

I have to say, I've never experienced what Mr. Kline and Greg seem to have got out of WoW my brief 3 or 4 month exploration of Azeroth left me bored with solo play, frustrated by group play and weary of nearly every mechanic. I'm a lazy, lazy person, and every part of WoW felt like work to me. Getting addicted to work is not something I'm likely to do in the near future.

When you here stories like this one though, especially Greg's nervous breakdown, it makes me wonder what possible draw a game like this one could have? I mean, even if there was only a one in a million chance of that happening to you, would you really pay a month subscription fee to just "try" grinding mobs?

The average gamer might have to work out a priority-based life problem like this:
There's a 50% chance that if I get too hooked on "Game A" I'll stay up late and be tired during work tomorrow. There might also be a 25% chance I'll be so tired that I have to call in sick, causing me minor, but not insignificant, financial harm. Additionally, there's a 10% chance that even with all that extra play, I won't have finished the game and I'll have to do this tomorrow night. Is that worth getting the magic sword/ beautiful princess/ awesome headshot?

The average WoW gamer apparently has to do all of that PLUS:
There is a 5% chance I alienate every human being I know and ruin my marriage/family/friendships.
There is a .05 % chance that I go crazy and end up committed into a mental hospital.

 

[rembrandtqeinstein]

best line from the article

Some life problems cannot be solved easily or at all - escaping them for a few hours may be the best we can do.

We aren't living in puritanical bullshit world. We don't need to suffer in this life for the promise of joy in the next one. Not being able to handle both real life and WoW (or most other "addictions") is a time management problem. If your life sucks and WoW is the only thing keeping you from going on a shotgun rampage at the Kwik-E-Mart then by all means play as much as you want. South Park "Bloody Mary" episode had the best take on "addictions". If you spend your life avoiding the thing you are addicted to then it controls your life just as badly as when you were participating in the activity.

Raiding has gotten MUCH better since the days of BWL/MC. Fewer people needed, shorter raids/instances, more forgiving timers, etc etc etc. And that was just in BC, I heard that all the raids in Lich King were puggable much to the chagrin of the 'hardcore' no lifers.

Being the manager of your own life isn't fun. But it is occasionally somewhat satisfying. Problem is that most kids aren't taught how to manage their time, just run from one scheduled activity to another. And most adults either don't (want to) think about it or try to be part of a whole time management cult and burn out after a few weeks of writing org charts for themselves.

If WoW or other "harmful" activities are important to you then don't let anyone else say you can't take part in them. Your life is YOUR LIFE and anyone who thinks they have the right to judge you can go fuck themselves. But at the same time acknowledge that other things in your life are important as well and the key is balancing and timing everything that is important. Some day we will all die but until then we have a lot of time, it is pretty easy to get in everything if we lay out all the pieces and figure out how to fit them together.

 

[2fish]

I am glad the guy at least took the time to enter the WoW world to see why/how people become addicted. But it is all about priorities, I know that if I play games all the time and screw up school I will have to live with my parents forever *cue scary music* so I find balance with my three major hobbies (gaming/internet, books, and Warhammer) so that I can relax and have fun without completely removing myself from the real world.

Personally I can be a very social person, but I can also be very anti-social due to several factors, meds, mood, amount of shit I have to deal with, ect. These opposite approaches allow me to be a gamer and a live a real life without ever having to worry about becoming too addicted to a game.

I do wish though that learning worked like RPG's and that I could see my stats rise as I did things.


-2fish

 

[GoodApprentice]

I've been playing WOW now for about half a year. Actually, checking my account, I see that it's been a little over four years. I disagree with people who say that WOW will consume your life and disconnect you from society. I play the game to escape the annoyances of everyday life such as the war in Iraq and the daily actions of President Bush. Also, I think it's healthy to be able to release your inner child. Michael Jackson is basically just a child at heart who is successfully living his dreams and still managing to raise a family. Lastly, I don't worry about the health risks of my gaming because many famous athletes like Tiger Woods are gamers, and he is a role-model for millions of kids around the world. In no way do I feel that my six months, I mean four years, playing WOW has disconnected me from society!

 

[VitusPrime]

Very interesting Article...scary also, has made me think oddly enough about my wow habits...problem also is, it kinda hints its a good game too...scary

 

[Don't Poke My Bobcat]

I can more than relate to a couple of the sentiments within this article, but also have a contrasting view.

My upbringing was less than favourable. For the first 14 years of my life, I feared my home and the events that had, could and would unfold within those four walls.

At ten years old I stood upon a bridge, ready to jump when my mother drove round the corner and caught me. For one day I was granted grace, and in that one day I discovered video games.

Video games slowly became my refuge, more so games of the RPG genre. The idea of the underdog rising up against his once mighty oppressors was delicious, and made real life events a lot more manageable.

Whenever I was subjected to the torment of reality I would think back to the endeavours of my avatars - of Link felling Ganon, of Ash capturing Mewtwo. They in turn, became my saviours and helped me survive what I otherwise wouldn't have.

At 14, I was able to "divorce" my mother and subsequently moved in with my father and was finally safe. My addiction to the game world didn't disapate however and through the years it became the staple of my "self-medication", a means to combat the mental damage that lingered despite the physical pain being all but gone.

At another of my lowest points, when depression seeped through even into my periods of escape, I discovered Final Fantasy XI.

This became my existence, I would awake at high noon and return to sleep close to 17 hours later. This persisted for a year - on the first day I met an American Mum of two and we immediately became friends. She was how a mum supposed to be, and in turn became part of my rise to the person I am today.

My faith in females was re-established, and I turn began to trust people again. Being part of a Linkshell was essentially being part of a family and the unity that spilled from it was devoured hungrily by myself. My class? Paladin - the cornerstone of a succesful party.

To cut this tale short, it is very easy to see games and more so online games as life destroyers. However in my case, I wouldn't be here today without them.

 

[Super Jamz]

I wonder if anything like this will happen to me once Guild Wars 2 is out.

Actually probably not, i always lone wolved MMOs anyway.

 

[Clemenstation]

Like some of these other guys have said, it's nice to see some firsthand experience (and, dare I say, empathy) from a mental health professional. Too often these 'experts' form opinions based on conjecture and hearsay and mass media misinterpretation, which is usually more insulting than helpful to players.

Which is why I shan't comment further on MMOs, since I don't play them. But I hear they are the devil!

 

[boholikeu]

I'd be interested to see someone actually tackling the fact that these games, to those 'addicted' by them are seen as -better- than reality, rather than skirting around this conclusion. Only by confronting that fact, rather than avoiding it, can we perhaps improve our real world so these games no longer have the hold they do, rather than simply going 'online bad, real world good'.

I agree.

The fact that most non-gamers, when trying to help in cases of gaming addiction, react by opposing "online" and "real" worlds, actually forces "addicted" people to chose one side, instead of balancing both. Admitedly, it IS hard as hell to find the will not to let go of reality and embark on the virtual journey.
WoW and its siblings have a knack for making you feel good, making you crave for more and more...

Totally agree with both these posts.

Although I did like how the article didn't fall into the typical "these games are made to be addictive and they have no redeeming qualities" position that you see with these stories. WoW can be addicting, but it doesn't have to be. The people that become addicted to WoW aren't innocent victims that were corrupted by a horrible game. They made a choice to participate in the game rather than real life, and more often than not it's because they could get something from the game that they were lacking in real life (socialization, a sense of achievement, etc). Rather than damning the game I think it's much more valuable to help these individuals work out their real life problems so they no longer feel the *need* to play for anything other than simple recreation.

 

[preybird]

Great article,just need a few more like you to write the paper on "The truth of gaming".

 

[DaOysterboy]

Great article. Thanks. I've never played an MMO and never plan to, but the time I've lost playing other games and just surfing the internet (confession: I'm at work right now) have been substantial and impacted what I should probably be using that time for instead. I've played games like Medieval 2: Total War where the "one more turn" or "one more city" or "I'll just cue up my unit production for next turn" mentality has made me go in nearly an hour or two after I usually leave for work. (Grad student. I don't really have a set schedule and it's not a very good thing for me. I go in later than I should and come home late to try and compensate.) Now I should get back to work... Simulations won't run themselves.