A Fanboy's Guide to Fanboying

[Dectilon]

I find it funny that Spider Jerusalem of all people is too naive to catch on

I noticed you didn't have a counter-point for #3, but I can't really think of what a good counter-point might be so let's just say it covers both bases. I think the problem with this entire argument is that it's usually not the same people making contrary arguments to defend their game. People tend to latch onto one side or the other, even if both can be applied.

Take for instance the idea that a person who hates rock probably shouldn't review a rock concert. It only makes sense to try for an unbiased review. On the other hand the problem with fans is that they will label a reviewer as "a hater" and claim they never liked/understood the genre in the first place.

I've never quite understood why people respond to reviews with a review of the reviewer rather than with their own thoughts on the product/event.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Snip

THEN WHAT ARE WE ALLOWED TO JUDGE IT BY? THE BO-

Oh, I see what you did there.

 

[Georgie_Leech]

Bravo sir, it's been a while since I read good sarcasm.

 

[Fensfield]

I had this weird, long, semi-argue-y post kicking about, but.. now I just can't shake the question:

Who reviews the reviewer?

 

[Saltyk]

At first, I thought this was serious.
Thought it was a little crazy, but serious. Lol

So, you can't judge a game!

Got it!

I am now safe from fanboys.

Right?

What did you say about my absolute favorite game of all time Final Metal Halo: A Link to the Sequel 26, that just came out on the Sontendosoft PSBox 4-720ii? I'll have you know you're a hack! You've obviously never played it and shouldn't be allowed to say bad things about it! And just because people mysteriously come back to life after being killed by marauding Darth Teddy Space Marines with absolutely no explanation, doesn't make it bad writing. You're just too thick skulled to understand the subtleties of the experience. And just because it you have to evade every enemy in the game, because you start with a toothpick and they all have 10,000,000 Hp, does not mean the game is bad. Nor is the multiplayer broken when you start with a slingshot and everyone else has BFG 9000's. You obviously just suck at multiplayer! Practice you noob!

No one is safe from the fan boys. Not even the fanboys of games that I just made up.

 

[008Zulu_v1legacy]

Let's keep a running count of how many people completely miss the satire.

The count is at: 1

I also picked up on the thinly veiled contempt (for fanboys).

 

[Azure-Supernova]

Can I get a certificate saying I completed this course? I figure it'll look good on my CV. I can then brag about being a certified Fanboy! For the scientifically inclined:

Spoiler: Fanboy Anatomy

 

[Prophetic Heresy]

I've actually seen all of these while I was on Metacritic this morning. I was looking up reviews for MMetroid.

 

[SilverUchiha]

I feel like a lot of these contradict some of the stuff that Yahtzee does when he reviews a game. Anyone else notice that by chance?

 

[Amyler]

*Still giggling*

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

So, you can't judge a game!

Got it!

I am now safe from fanboys.

Right?

Not at all.


Think of a game series you like... Now think of your favourite title from that series. Got it? Good. There are fans of this very same series who will consider you a monster and a mental aberration for liking that particular title instead of another one from the same series, ready to vomit out paragraphs detailing why you are both wrong and EVIL and probably a poser who came late to the series or an old timer who refuses to accept the new directions of the series. You're worse to them than people who don't like the series at all, like some parasitic worm attached to their favourite thing... unless their favourite thing is a parasitic worm in which case feel free to supply your own metaphor.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

I think this explains it all. Hilarious shit.

Which is why I posted it on the second comment

 

[i64ever]

Let's keep a running count of how many people completely miss the satire.

The count is at: 1

I'm sure the count will end up being way more than one. The true punchline of this piece will be the fanboys that respond to congratulate you because "somebody finally got it right"

 

[chozo_hybrid]

My sarcasm detector is going off the charts!

 

[Dev Null]

Bah! TLDNR.

The secret to proper fanboyism is none of those things: it is incandescent incoherent rage. Period. This not about showing the idiot that his/her opinion is wrong, this is about showing the Interwebs that the idiot is worthy of eternal horrific torture for daring to have an opinion at all. This is best accomplished through carefully misspelled words and typographical errors - research shows that the average forum reader spends more time reading these posts, and is thus obviously paying more attention to them - and through the prolific reference to sex, which kindles interest by association with the unknown, and rage... again, mostly by reminding the reader that they have, in fact, never had any. It also helps to maintain almost toxicly high levels of self-loathing while writing the post; childs play for the true fanboy. But those are merely ways of expressing the rage in text; its the rage itself that is important. Logic of any flavor need not apply, much the less rules.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

I think this explains it all. Hilarious shit.

Which is why I posted it on the second comment

Seriously, didn't notice man. Sorry if you feel ripped. =3

Not at all. Just goes to show great minds think alike.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Let's keep a running count of how many people completely miss the satire.

The count is at: 1

I was wondering whether or not you were serious until about the second page. Good job, sir!