A Poly relationship

[peruvianskys]

People can do whatever they want, but if I'm honest, I'd have to say that all the polyamorous people I've met have almost solely been immature college freshmen who are self-consciously trying to flout traditional sexual norms. I have yet to come across, either in real life or online, a mature and well-adjusted person who has identified as a poly; I have, however, encountered many obnoxious faux-libertines who are not nearly as revolutionary as they think they are.

 

[Something Amyss]

I think I could do it with the right people. I doubt that's ever going to come up, though, so it's completely theoretical.

I read that as Pony Relationship and was about to comment on how that might be unhealthy. Your avatar didn't help.

fluttershy seems like a tender lover. >.>

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

No, they're not....Yet. I'm trying, though.

**confused**

Wait, so they're both have sex with you, but not with one another? And - checks profile to make sure - yup, you're female. Are both of them male and straight? That's the only reason I could think of to exclude themselves like that.

 

[el_kabong]

I couldn't do a multi-person relationship. Being a straight man, I wouldn't really get anything out of another guy in the relationship. I already have plenty of male friends. The only real benefit is that I wouldn't have to devote full time to my girlfriend. However, if I don't want to spend time with my girlfriend, they quickly become not my girlfriend (I'm pretty quick about pulling the break-up rip-cord).

As for another woman, also a no-go. It's fun to fantasize about, but think of it this way: if the relationship were a democracy, you'd be giving majority to a different demographic (one with desires often counter to my own). What movie do we want to see? What should we do for a vacation? How should we spend money? These are all questions that come up somewhere in a relationship. I have a hard enough time getting the things I want out of a relationship when it's a 50/50 split. I can't even force a stale-mate anymore. The only hope is if one of the women shared much of the same ideas/desires/interests as me. However, this will also tank the group relationship because it's only a matter of time before I'll just want to cut the dead weight (non-interesting girlfriend) from the party train.

Either way, I don't see it working for me.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Well, it's actually a pretty long distance relationship, I'm not opposed to the idea of a threesome but the other boyfriend is not a fan of the idea so he probably wouldn't plan a vacation for one.
Also the girlfriend part of the equation would be far more interested in just sitting aside and watching me bend him over.

As someone who has been in that situation and done that - yeah, that can be fun. Enjoy the show before the main event. Fun times.

 

[BabyRaptor]

No, they're not....Yet. I'm trying, though.

**confused**

Wait, so they're both have sex with you, but not with one another? And - checks profile to make sure - yup, you're female. Are both of them male and straight? That's the only reason I could think of to exclude themselves like that.

I'm Bi. Radoh could go either way based on whatever would amuse him at the time. The other one is decidedly straight, but would probably humor it just for me if I begged enough.

Edit: And yes, he's male too.

 

[bladester1]

As a guy, I know I could never do it. One of the girls, cause there is no way in hell I'm sharing my girl with another guy, would be come my favorite and get much more attention than the other. And I don't want to die. See CSI reference. Also, it didn't work very well for Jacob waaaaaaaaaay back in the day, so I don't see it working well today. Jealousy and all that.

 

[Radoh]

Well, it's actually a pretty long distance relationship, I'm not opposed to the idea of a threesome but the other boyfriend is not a fan of the idea so he probably wouldn't plan a vacation for one.
Also the girlfriend part of the equation would be far more interested in just sitting aside and watching me bend him over.

As someone who has been in that situation and done that - yeah, that can be fun. Enjoy the show before the main event. Fun times.

I'm decidedly unsurprised by the fact that you've been in such a situation before, I'd ask what you haven't done but I'm afraid you'd go into great details about very fetished things.

 

[bauke67]

The idea doesn't sound that bad, but if it were any kind of serious relationship, I don't think it'd work out. If it does for you, that's great, though.

 

[chadachada123]

I have no problem with others doing it, and think that marriage should also extend to multiple-party relationships.

That said, it'd be really tough to convince me to not be monogamous. It would just "feel" weird to me.

 

[Sonic Doctor]

I have recently entered a poly relationship with another girl and a boy, and while I'm quite happy, I am curious: would anyone else ever consider doing the same? Entering a 3 way relationship?7

Why or Why not? What are your views on it?

Captcha: It's Super Delicious.
Yes...yes it is <3

Meh, only in my dreams, but then again I'm rather religious, so no. Though I'd never be able to get with more than one girl, let alone one(at least so it seems).

Now the real reason I quoted you is because I wanted to ask about captcha, since I've never had to encounter it.

The captcha that the Escapist uses, does it just randomly create a phrase like that to put in?

The reason I ask, because at times it feels like people purposely say captcha put up a certain phrase, when in reality it didn't put such a thing up. Plus, there are times when people captchas relate two well with what they are talking about.

The other reason is that is now the second time I've seen somebody put that captcha randomly spit out "It's Super Delicious".

 

[Zen Toombs]

Think of it this way. You know those things you like? Now there's two of them.

It doesn't work that way for most people

Unless we're talking about just casual sex, which as far as I've understood it we're not

We aren't. But Yopaz said that he didn't understand the appeal, and I was trying to provide an ultra-simplified explanation of why some people find poly relationships appealing.

And I wasn't just talking about sexy things. I was also talking about "two shoulders to cry on when bad stuff happens" and the like.

 

[Terminal Blue]

OT: Also... so you and the other guy aren't lovers too? I thought that's how Poly worked - everyone had sex with everyone. If it that wasn't the case, I thought it wasn't Poly, but Open.

The line between an open relationship and a poly relationship is pretty complicated, but no.. not everyone has to fuck for it to count as poly. In fact, for most people in that lifestyle it's not really so much about the fucking as the ability to have multiple loving relationships at the same time. Hence "polyamory", many loves.

Generally, in an open relationship, I think you have two people who are involved or married and who just sleep with other people from time to time. So they're physically promiscuous but emotionally monogamous in some way. Although poly relationships can be hierarchical, I think it's generally not quite so rigid.

I am curious: would anyone else ever consider doing the same? Entering a 3 way relationship?7

I've never done a full three way relationship. My partner and I have never really gone for people the other has been interested in, and we feel kind of icky about collectively propositioning someone. But we have had relationships with other people, and I guess it's only by chance (and bad decisions) that our relationship has ended up being the only one which lasted.

I tend to be hesitant about calling myself poly because.. well.. I find the term too romantic, but that's just my feeling. Other people often call my relationship poly, and I don't have a problem with using the word to explain what I do.

Good luck, anyway, it's not an easy thing to do in our society, but it's rewarding. Even if you reach the point of saying "I can't do this", which there's no shame in, you'll undoubtedly learn a lot about yourself and about what makes a relationship work along the way.

 

[Reaper195]

I don't see a problem with it. Well...I can see room for potential problems, but asssuming all three of you have consented to the relationship, and talked about boundries, respect and some other word I can't remember...there is no reason why a poly relationship can't work.

 

[Brutal Peanut]

All-in-all, I'd prefer to stay monogamous, but I'd hope I could at least speak to my Husband about it at-length if the situation were to arise for either of us. At least come to some sort of understanding or even a compromise about how both relationships would coincide, or if we even really thought it through. However, either of us finding time for another person in our lives seems unlikely. Things are busy and having to handle one relationship on top of another, especially a new one that needs time to be nurtured and grow (and can be described as essentially 'needy'), seems like more trouble than it's worth; let alone finding that another person to begin with.

As for other people, I don't tend to care what consenting adults do with each other in their own bedrooms. I'd just hope that they aren't arrogant and have a smug sense of superiority when they speak to me and act like my relationship is less loving and important that theirs. Basically, if they are 'cool' with me, I am 'cool' with them. Ya' know? YA' KNOW!? Alright.

 

[Silver Fox]

I would certainly try it if the opportunity arose, I mean, why limit the love to just one person when you can spread it around to more than that?

 

[Charli]

I think everyone's kinda thought about it before... Never really done it myself though. Seems like an interesting lifestyle, and I'm really not the jealous type. Then again I'm not really the ATTENTIVE type either so I kinda fail at the start line.

Relationships whether 2, 3 or more people take effort and I tend to find that people just won't give me alone time space without getting offended or thinking I'm being cold or inattentive to them, so I find it easier just to be by myself.

 

[Mikeyfell]

I was in one of those. My best friend married a bi-sexual girl so when ever she wants a man, or more accurately something with a penis, I'm the lucky winner.

But they moved to France and when your boodycall is an intercontinental plane flight away you come up with a more efficient solution.

A poly relationship is the only type I'd consider from this point on because I've tried Mono relationships and well, they all suck. Straight women, no offense to any straight women, but they're all horrible horrible people. Every last one of them, no offense. But if I was going to get involved with another straight girl I'd want another guy around so it'd take twice as long for her to drop her two faced manipulation techniques. Or at least throw her off guard while she figures out a 4 faced manipulation technique. And again no offense

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

I'm Bi. Radoh could go either way based on whatever would amuse him at the time. The other one is decidedly straight, but would probably humor it just for me if I begged enough.
Edit: And yes, he's male too.

**blinks**

Wait, did I already know that you two were together? I mean, if so I clearly forgot, but do you know if I was previously aware of this?

I ask because, up til now I thought I was having a conversation about two different poly relationships rather than one poly relationship from two different members of said relationship.

Which, by the way - fuck yeah! ^^ Congrats to both of you - I'm always psyched when two people I know online get together.

 

[TallestGargoyle]

I couldn't imagine having a threesome with another girl and a boyfriend cause if she so much as kissed him I'd rip her to shreds.

If she kissed him? Peh. You aint got nothing on my girlfriend. If another girl so much as FLIRTS with me, then my girlfriend will first call her very unlady-like things[footnote]Including, but not limited too: ****, Slut, *****, etc.[/footnote], then will beat her. On my end, same thing. If another dude starts hitting on her, I will deck him and make sure he leaves with a limp.

OT: Just in case I didnt spell it out well enough above: No, No, No, No. Oh yes, did I mention HELL NO! If thats what you want to do, fine, but I will NEVER do that. Period.

To be fair, from the sounds of things, you two are perfect for each other. And I hope others don't succumb to your misguided wrath.