A question to women

[Lurklen]

I think it's like any distinguishing feature, a glance is fine even repeated glances are fine as long as they are subtle but stareing is rude. If I had a huge nose or a unibrow or a scar on my face it would be rude to stare but I couldn't blame people for being distracted.

And breasts are just distracting man, woman, straight, lesbian doesn't matter, you see a large pair of breasts it's distracting they stand out it's kind of one of their main jobs. You are going to get caught looking just be as polite as possible, apologize accept it's somewhat awkward and move on.

There was this one dude while I was working in customer service he was asking for help and my eyes just kept drifting up to his forehead. He had this huge black unibrow and it was so distracting I was having trouble helping him, I really couldn't help myself I didn't want to stare but it was almost uncontrollable. That was tough, I felt like such an ass.

 

[Zoe Castillo]

--

 

[BoogieManFL]

Big knockers get attention from both genders. I've seen well endowed girls get eyeballed pretty good by girls many times. A girls who are into girls don't seen any different about them than guys. My brother worked with a lesbian who would sometimes say to him later things to the effect of "Did you see the rack on that one?!"

Big or small, guys check your pair out all the time girls, I promise you that. Most guys are nice enough to at least be discreet about it and look when they know they won't been seen doing so or do it quickly. To do so very obviously for an extended amount of time is rude though for sure. But we do it because we're genetically inclined to do so, so don't blame us for a quick glance.

To a point it's completely valid to say if the girl is wearing something that essentially puts them on display they should expect it, but to be decent.. Use moderation. I once got excessively eye raped by two gay guys at a theme park once and it gave me real perspective what it must be like for women to have guys rudely stare at them. Flattering at first, but after a certain point it's uncomfortable.

 

[BabyRaptor]

Oh, they know. And, if they complain, they're bullshit.

You chose
To expose

Careful with that logic there, bro. Yeah,

They chose
to expose,

But I have two points of order here. First:

Rhyming your points
makes you a douche

and second

If you're fucking creepy about it
you should feel lucky if she ONLY complains.

Thank you. Just because I chose to wear something revealing doesn't mean people have permission to be pigs about it. Look, but have some decency.

That said, yeah. I usually notice. But I'm another of those women who are "blessed" with a large chest...Pretty much whatever I wear is going to look like I'm trying for attention.

 

[LiberalSquirrel]

I notice when random people look at my chest, and I certainly notice if I'm distracting my male friends. It's gotten to be a running joke with a few: any lapse in conversation will be blamed on "being distracted by the boobs/bouncing/insert alternate synonym here."

I find it a bit flattering, to be honest. As long as it's a glance and not a prolonged lewd stare (which I have also been the recipient of), I'm fine with it (but the prolonged stares are just creepy and uncomfortable). I do double-take glances at cute, well-built guys. No reason I should be offended by the same idea with flipped genders.

 

[PrototypeC]

There is a difference between glancing and staring. I was reading an article in Psychology Today that said that women may be building up a psychological resistance to sexual harassment that isn't immediately threatening. I wasn't sure how to feel about that.

A lot of people have "weird" styles and they don't do it just to get attention, they do it because it looks nice to them. Women exposing cleavage are the same way, for the most part. I think most of them like to see themselves in the mirror and feel good or feel the approval of their peers. Most of my female friends say that they dress the way they do for other women more than men. I agree that it's weird when women dress incredibly provocatively and then complain when people stare, but often it's because they really don't want the approval of men nearly as much as they want to feel good about themselves; it's just that our sexual dynamic makes women feel best when they think men would be attracted to them.

This is what I hear, over and over. Sometimes a woman wants to be desired by men, sometimes they don't; but they want to feel good about what they wear, and how they look. It's not (usually) a conscious effort to attract YOU (yes you, reading this right now)!

 

[tirsden]

I'm 6'3", weigh in at about 160lbs (actually having issues keeping weight on but that's a whole other can of worms), and used to way 210-220. Guess which part of me didn't change much with all the weight loss? Yeah. I can wear the most boring t-shirt on earth with a typical not-exposing-anything-at-all collar, and I *will* get looks. It's the creepy ones that bug me, I've had guys look at me with "yum yum" kinda expressions and that's beyond rude. They don't know me, and shouldn't even begin to think they can give me what I want or that they would ever get anything other than the look they're giving me right at that moment.

Add to it this: the average guy walking down the street doesn't know that nature pretty much goofed and gave me the wrong gender. That adds a whole other layer of frustration over guys checking out my chest, even though I am attracted to men (and women somewhat, but again, I'm the wrong gender physically, so that confuses things). Oh, and I do wear dark glasses when outside at any time other than night (and sometimes even then) due to light sensitivity... so in theory I'd catch more than my fair share of guys looking since they can't tell where I'm looking, but for the most part I tone people out due to my own brain's social wiring issues. ^^;;

/essay

 

[AmayaOnnaOtaku]

Another member of the "gifted" club, even if I went baggy sweatshirt or sweater, they are still going to be there. I know guys will look, its instinct, but don't be creepy about it

 

[kidwithxboxlive]

Oh, they know. And, if they complain, they're bullshit.

You chose
To expose

this. I know girls that are friends of mine saying things like 'OMG! Did you see that? he was looking at my tits! what a weirdo!'

At which point i say 'well if its like that, why do you show your tits like that in public?' Yeah, they don't respond to that very often...

 

[])rStrangelove]

When i see a girl exposing them on purpose i make a habbit of not paying attention at all.

 

[axlryder]

Oh, they know. And, if they complain, they're bullshit.

You chose
To expose

Careful with that logic there, bro. Yeah,

They chose
to expose,

But I have two points of order here. First:

Rhyming your points
makes you a douche

and second

If you're fucking creepy about it
you should feel lucky if she ONLY complains.

Thank you. Just because I chose to wear something revealing doesn't mean people have permission to be pigs about it. Look, but have some decency.

That said, yeah. I usually notice. But I'm another of those women who are "blessed" with a large chest...Pretty much whatever I wear is going to look like I'm trying for attention.

lol, "permission". You gave them permission the moment you intentionally showed off cleavage, why else would you have worn such a shirt? I mean if someone is staring because I decided to unzip my fly at work, I'd think it would be my responsibility to zip my fly up before I could be justified in getting mad at them for staring. Regardless, people can look wherever they want. I actually try to avoid looking at woman's breasts altogether, as I don't like the idea of my thoughts being controlled by hormonal impulses (plus it usually dehumanizes the object of one's lust). That being said, you seriously have no place to be complaining if you're wearing a shirt that says "STARE AT US!" (figuratively of course). I could understand if that shirt served some practical purpose beyond grabbing the attention of wandering eyes, but it doesn't.

Now, if a guy is just staring because he has zero self control and you're pretty well covered up, I say rail into that dude. I'd be pretty mad if a girl couldn't take her eyes off of my erogenous zone for no reason other than because I was apparently "well equipped".

 

[Yassen]

Funny story, I was talking to my uncles boyfriend when I was visiting the UK, he's in his early 20's. Anyway, a new and really attractive girl joins their business. Over lunch he has a conversation with her. Goes well, they chat for about 30 minutes before she asks him if he was gay. He asked how did she know and she answered it's because he hasn't glanced at her breasts once.

So yeah, most girls tend to notice if you're staring.

 

[BabyRaptor]

I am sorry but the man has a point. I don't walk around with my nuts hanging out of my zipper, then have the balls to get mad if somebody stared. I think the answer is simple, keep them covered if it bothers you, don't call people a douch.

Invalid comparison, but that's beside the point.

I never said don't look. I said don't be a dick about it. It's perfectly reasonable to expect some decency, and if you think I should just put up with it because I chose to wear a certain outfit, you're either trying to excuse yourself or you have some issues you need to work out.

Second, as has been pointed out several times, keeping them covered doesn't keep people from staring.

Third, I'll cal whomever I wish a douche when they act like one. If you don't like it, don't act like one.

 

[BabyRaptor]

lol, "permission". You gave them permission the moment you intentionally showed off cleavage, why else would you have worn such a shirt? I mean if someone is staring because I decided to unzip my fly at work, I'd think it would be my responsibility to zip my fly up before I could be justified in getting mad at them for staring. Regardless, people can look wherever they want. I actually try to avoid looking at woman's breasts altogether, as I don't like the idea of my thoughts being controlled by hormonal impulses (plus it usually dehumanizes the object of one's lust). That being said, you seriously have no place to be complaining if you're wearing a shirt that says "STARE AT US!" (figuratively of course). I could understand if that shirt served some practical purpose beyond grabbing the attention of wandering eyes, but it doesn't.

Now, if a guy is just staring because he has zero self control and you're pretty well covered up, I say rail into that dude. I'd be pretty mad if a girl couldn't take her eyes off of my erogenous zone for no reason other than because I was apparently "well equipped".

Nothing ever gives someone permission to be an asshole. Seriously, reading comprehension, kids...I said don't be a pig. I never said don't look.

 

[saucecode]

Its certainly noticable, i usually dont really care, unless they're like, staring for a loooong time.

 

[axlryder]

lol, "permission". You gave them permission the moment you intentionally showed off cleavage, why else would you have worn such a shirt? I mean if someone is staring because I decided to unzip my fly at work, I'd think it would be my responsibility to zip my fly up before I could be justified in getting mad at them for staring. Regardless, people can look wherever they want. I actually try to avoid looking at woman's breasts altogether, as I don't like the idea of my thoughts being controlled by hormonal impulses (plus it usually dehumanizes the object of one's lust). That being said, you seriously have no place to be complaining if you're wearing a shirt that says "STARE AT US!" (figuratively of course). I could understand if that shirt served some practical purpose beyond grabbing the attention of wandering eyes, but it doesn't.

Now, if a guy is just staring because he has zero self control and you're pretty well covered up, I say rail into that dude. I'd be pretty mad if a girl couldn't take her eyes off of my erogenous zone for no reason other than because I was apparently "well equipped".

Nothing ever gives someone permission to be an asshole. Seriously, reading comprehension, kids...I said don't be a pig. I never said don't look.

Oh how foolish of me, using the topic of the thread as context for your statement. Since you know, the qualifications for being a pig are so clear and concise. *rolls eyes* Same goes for being creepy, for that matter. After all, unless you're talking or crudely gesturing to a woman, there's not a whole lot of "pigish" behavior one can easily display beyond obvious gazes (which I don't think deserve to be chastised according to my previously outlined scenarios). In other words, you should probably not use such a vaguely defined and malleable term as "pig" when referring to specific actions or behavior that are not the one outlined in the main topic of conversation.