A Senior Dating an 8th Grader

[Dukenstein]

Okay some people have this argument, "Hey. my parents are 5-10 years apart and they are just fine", but what they fail to realize is that at that age, the difference between a 18 year old and a 14 year old is huuuge. I mean, a 16 year old and a 17 year old are completely different, they even act different depending on grades. As you grow older, it becomes much more of a free for all. Around age 25 it stops mattering what the age difference is.

 

[Shepard's Shadow]

I think it's weird. It probably won't last long.

 

[Gudrests]

Is 8th grade freshmen year? Its been a while, I don't remember.

Anyway, if its a healthy relationship then its fine by me.

No thats 1 before freshman.....girl isnt in Highschool yet...not cool..kinda weird

 

[Torrasque]

Seeing the title of this thread, I thought "what the fuck? Someone that is 65+ is dating someone that is in 8th grade?!?!" but after reading the OP, I realized it was just the fact that for some stupid reason, you Americans can't say "10th grade is 10th grade, 11th grade is 11th grade, and 12th grade is 11th grade". To be honest, I'm surprised you haven't thought up some retarded title for every single fucking grade yet.

My rage aside, I think its retarded for anyone who is <19 to date anyone who is any age. People at that age are too immature to enter a relationship for the correct mature reasons, and they almost always end poorly. Yes there are people who meet the person of their dreams in highschool, and go on to marry them, but still, those are extremely rare.
Needless to say, I think this person that is IN GRADE TWELVE, dating this person who is IN GRADE EIGHT, is stupid.

 

[godofslack]

Also this is bordering on Pedophilia tell your friend to back off if he doesn't want to be labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life

Bordering on? That's stone-cold, obvious paedophilia, and deeply disturbing at that.

It's most certainly not. That's nowhere near pedophilia, that's only slightly below average. There is a massive difference between a full fledged adult and a legal adult being interested in someone in grade 8. It's very important to mention this ISN'T a sexual relationship, that would most certainly be wrong, this is a relationship that exists purely in thought, and as a rule, anything that exists only in thought can not be amoral.

 

[Zyst]

It's fine in my opinion. Emotionally they are at about the same age, just saying it's wrong because of how long they've been on the world is stupid.

 

[SweEscaspist]

To be honest, I don't really care, as long as they haven't had "6" yet. Then it would be reaaaaaaallyy akward.....

No, but if they like each other let them spend some time "together" over the Xbox Live thingie you are talking about. Just keep them away from the bed, she is still to young, let her hit her legal age first, if the guy can wait that long that is.

EDIT- Had a similar relationship once over the internet but that relationship died out so to speak. Be back in 6 months...yeah right.

 

[Jewrean]

They haven't seen each other in person. Ever. Therefore they are not dating. Problem solved.

+1

No discussion needed.

Although that creepiness Mathematical formula could use more discussion. It is quite awesome.

It's fine in my opinion. Emotionally they are at about the same age, just saying it's wrong because of how long they've been on the world is stupid.

Unless it's illegal. If he was a tad older it could be considered statutory rape. Erm... I mean providing sex was involved. Clearly there is none.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

If it isn't illegal for them to have sex now, it will be when he turns 18. So just a heads up that he better keep out of her pants unless he wants to risk doing time. It doesn't even matter if it's consensual, either.

 

[JourneyMan88]

If you'll permit me to paraphrase:

...they have never seen each other in real life. Not even once....they ARE dating.

My reply then is "No, they are NOT". And you have nothing to worry about until someone actually makes the 2 1/2 hour drive and something physical happens. Then it's WTF were you thinking for the senior.

 

[Smertnik]

This is a non-issue. I really don't get all the arguments.
I had a 15-year old girlfriend when I was 19 and guess what? No one friggin' cared - none of our relatives, none of our friends. And why? Because it doesn't matter. Basing the acceptance of a relationship on a magical formula or on some kind of an age limit is just silly.
Maybe it's an American thing. *shrug*

 

[justnotcricket]

Though I don't like to belittle any emotional connection between two people, if they've never actually met, I'm not sure it really counts as dating. I mean, at least you know they aren't actually having physical sex, and no-one's going to jail!

My take on this would be let it continue - you're the person who knows your friend - is he a perv? If not, then let them enjoy their relationship - it will last if it lasts.

 

[Valksy]

I think that not only is he rather pathetic for looking to a child for emotional attachment but he needs to be very careful of what he does/says. Honestly, I'm not in the mood to rummage through statute at the moment, but he needs to keep the term "grooming" in mind, which can be an offence in and of itself.

 

[The Hairminator]

Though I don't like to belittle any emotional connection between two people, if they've never actually met, I'm not sure it really counts as dating. I mean, at least you know they aren't actually having physical sex, and no-one's going to jail!

My take on this would be let it continue - you're the person who knows your friend - is he a perv? If not, then let them enjoy their relationship - it will last if it lasts.

This. In most of the world no one would have raised their eyebrows.

My main concern is the sillyness of the relationship. If they only live 2,5 hours from each others they should meet up pronto- or more likely just give it up since they both seem rather childish to me.

 

[webzu]

18/2 = 9+7 = 16 > 14
Too young, get out.

basicly that, always fun to see that rule online

 

[artanis_neravar]

Also this is bordering on Pedophilia tell your friend to back off if he doesn't want to be labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life

Bordering on? That's stone-cold, obvious paedophilia, and deeply disturbing at that.

It's most certainly not. That's nowhere near pedophilia, that's only slightly below average. There is a massive difference between a full fledged adult and a legal adult being interested in someone in grade 8. It's very important to mention this ISN'T a sexual relationship, that would most certainly be wrong, this is a relationship that exists purely in thought, and as a rule, anything that exists only in thought can not be amoral.

Actually a 13 year old and an 18 year old is pedophilia, if they have any kind of sexual contact at all.

 

[Slash Dementia]

I'd be hypocritical if I disapproved of this because I, myself, am in a relationship where I'm five years older than my girlfriend and things are long distance. I have complete respect for her and won't try to be with her (actually see her) until she's eighteen. But, my relationship is only because I've known her for almost 7 years now (through her brother) and she's a great friend that I unwillingly fell for, and the other way around. But if I had only known her for a short while, none of this would have happened. And this is where I am a bit weirded out but your cousin and friend. I don't know how mature either of the two are, but maybe just talk to your friend and ask him a few questions, let him know if you have a problem with this or anything at all.

 

[binvjoh]

I thought you meant someone elderly with "senior".

Now that would have been massively creepy, this is just a bit strange.

 

[AbstractStream]

The age difference is kind of huge since they are still in [middle/high]school. Seeing as how she isn't at the age of consent yet, it could get kind of weird. Hopefully nothing happens that may cause a problem.

 

[Dastardly]

To make a long story short, my cousin is dating my friend. Now let me add a few details. My friend is 18 years of age and a senior in high school, my cousin is in 8th grade, they have been dating for 2 months, and they have never seen each other in real life. Not even once. They live 2.5 hours away from each other and they met each other via a Xbox live party hosted by yours truly. I don't have much of an opinion on this but I do constantly tease them about the situation.

So members of the Escapist, I want to know how you feel about relationships between high school seniors and 8th graders. Or other similar relationships.

EDIT: To make this clear, they ARE dating. They just met each other via xbox live and now they are in a long distance relationship. And they Skype each other everyday. Whether they do this naked or not I do not know.

Be aware that this can go from "technically legal" to "very illegal" very quickly.

The difference between age 14 and age 18 is enormous. One is getting ready to go to high school. One is getting ready for the real world. One can't stay out past 9 (or whatever), while the other can drive anywhere. One is a child, while the other is legally an adult.

Now, later in life? The difference between 21 and 25 is mathematically the same, but it's not nearly as dramatic as the four years separating these two. And the inevitable break-up? He won't just be making a girl sad. He'll be pissing off her parents, too, who have to deal with all the fallout. And that could mean they come at him via the cops.

If your friend knows what's good for him, he'll wake up and run for the hills. He's playing a dangerous game.