Alien asks you to prove humanity is worth saving

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Nuke_em_05

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2009
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I always ponder at this scenario. Why are they asking?

Obviously it is implied that this alien race holds the future of humanity, but how?

Is it that the aliens are going to kill us if we can't convince them not to? What is the alternative? What motivation would they have? If they gain nothing from our doom, why take the time? If they gain something from our doom (resources, I assume), what is it, and why don't we offer it freely so our demise will be unnecessary? Clearly, if they have a reason to kill us, and have already elected to do so, what could we offer of redeeming value anyway? Not in that we have no value, but clearly they want something so bad as to wipe out a whole species anyway, regardless of the "value" of that species.

Is the situation, then, that there is an imminent outside threat; like the sun going super nova or an asteroid, or a third party of aliens out to destroy us? And this otherwise neutral alien race wants justification for going out of their way to save us? Obviously if they know enough of our plight to ask the question, they know about as much of us as they're ever going to care about. Furthermore, if we had anything of value to compensate them with at this point, we'd find ourselves in my first scenario.

How would we determine what was deserving of merit to this aliens? If they aren't like us in any discernible fashion, nothing in our context would make sense to them anyway. If they are like us, they probably already have the things that we think are "special".

In short: if they're going to kill you, they're going to kill you. If they aren't going to help you, they aren't going to help you. If you have something worth them helping you, they might find it easier to kill you for it (or corpse-loot). The odds are, however, that you have nothing of value to them.

So, I guess the answer is, we're hosed.
 

malmodir

New member
Jul 12, 2010
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Not really a difficult question. I'd say: "Humanity isn't worth saving at all. Get rid of it if it pleases you."
 

Croaker42

New member
Feb 5, 2009
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Have it listen to a little Purple Haze.

But in all practicality they would not be swayed so this. >>

Just point out how freaking hard it has been for us to exterminate ourselves. Then ask if they though they could do any better.

Or. I would point out how awesome of a forced labor force we would make. Yeah I know I would not make any friends saying that. But honestly that would give us time to learn and adapt to new tech, overthrow our oppressors and then begin our zerg like expansion throughout the universe.
 

Jazzeki

New member
Jun 29, 2011
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i think i'd simply ask that if humanity is to die.... could i at least be alowed to be the guy firing the gun.... please?
 

Nurb

Cynical bastard
Dec 9, 2008
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"We haven't forced a member of another sentient species to defend their entire people in order to save themselves from genocide."

Defense rests.
 

mega48man

New member
Mar 12, 2009
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damn, i was gonna say bacon weaves but that was the first damn post, tu che.

plan B; go watch episodes 51, 52, and 53 of Justice league when the thanigarians try to blow up earth. on top of the billions of people living on this miracle of a rock that we don't seem to appreciate enough, batman will fuck up any alien that trys to fuck with his planet (with the help of the league of course)

oh i'm sorry Marvel fans, for alien invasions see Kang
 

Bluance

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Mar 25, 2011
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We excel at self-destruction. We also excel at taking everyone else with us. The real question is are we really worth the loses you will be taking?
 

Brandon237

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Mar 10, 2010
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ChildofGallifrey said:
As of right now? I'd probably show them the immense and immediate support the community showed for Allison from EC. $70 grand in 3 days for a perfect stranger shows that there is good in humanity.
Hell, this would be an awesome example, and charity and conservation for the purpose of it. And the god old: Who are they to judge? If they are decent enough to genuinely consider, they should hopefully listen to that. And any creativity that amuses them.
 

Dan Steele

New member
Jul 30, 2010
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I will pick out humanity's best and you can annihilate the rest.

wow I'm a poet and and I didnt even know it
 

A Shadows Age

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Mar 30, 2011
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I would just start laughing, then laugh some more and finally... show the alien a hentai website, followed by German porn and top off the tour with the tale of human history a bonfire and some drinks ! Then while the earth is being destroyed, spam and overload their nav computers with 4chan and more porn! Laughing all the way, hohoho !
 

Blaster395

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Dec 13, 2009
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A Shadows Age said:
I would just start laughing, then laugh some more and finally... show the alien a hentai website, followed by German porn and top off the tour with the tale of human history a bonfire and some drinks ! Then while the earth is destroyed, spam and overload their nav computers with more porn! Laughing all the way, hohoho !
What if they like the porn?
 

Icehearted

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Jul 14, 2009
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Greetings, oh alien visitors. Well, you want to know if my race is worth saving? Since I have no idea what your moral code is based on, or by what criteria this will be decided, how about I just come completely clean and suggest you visit the chan boards. Have a peek into what unfiltered raw human thinking really is.

Go ahead... I'll wait here while you look. Oh! Be sure to pay especially close attention to /b/, they're pretty much the apex of our species thanks to anonymity and no filters whatsoever.
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So, how will we be going then. Disintegration?
 

Ghengis John

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Dec 16, 2007
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AbundantRedundancy said:
I'd ask, "Who the fuck are you to judge?"
An excellent response. If some species thinks they're in a position to judge though well we're in trouble. They already consider themselves our superiors. What can you say to sway someone who thinks himself to be better than you are? Not a lot.

Araksardet said:
Depends on the alien psychology.

(1) We're not worth the ammunition.
(2) All species in the universe like humans as sex partners, right? Hey, we're open, we even like tentacles!
(3) We can dance! Dance, monkeys, dance! See how laughable we are?
(4) Saving us is spitting in the face of Death, which is the nature and glory of Life.
(5) We'd make great additions to your zoos, where your children can throw peanuts at us.

Honestly, no alien species considering destroying us would be swayed by Shakespeare or Beethoven or Confucius, or anything else "great" we've done or produced - let alone "Humans have the capacity to luuurve!". Best to try to appeal to their base natures, whatever those might be.
Trying to find out what they respect or want and offering that seems to be the best idea. In the very least we can make servants and foot soldiers for their glorious campaigns.