Am I overreacting?

[llew]

I don't see any problems with that. It is just a bloody game, I played Postal 2 at that age. If the parents feel that he can deal with the content of the game then there is no problem.

Yeah GTA:V and Portal 2 are two VERY different games, comparing them in terms of content is like comparing bread and milk for texture.
OT: no you did not over-react, if it was me i would have told her exactly what was in the game to make my point as to why i didnt think he should play it. I dont let my 11 year-old sister play games older than 16, i think she is mature enough to handle the 18 stuff but its not the point, the content is often far more in-your-face in an 18 game than a lower age-rating

 

[Gailim]

I don't see any problems with that. It is just a bloody game, I played Postal 2 at that age. If the parents feel that he can deal with the content of the game then there is no problem.

Yeah GTA:V and Portal 2 are two VERY different games, comparing them in terms of content is like comparing bread and milk for texture.
OT: no you did not over-react, if it was me i would have told her exactly what was in the game to make my point as to why i didnt think he should play it. I dont let my 11 year-old sister play games older than 16, i think she is mature enough to handle the 18 stuff but its not the point, the content is often far more in-your-face in an 18 game than a lower age-rating

He said Postal 2 not Portal 2

though I also read it as "Portal 2" at first

 

[Ragsnstitches]

Show your sister what her son will be playing if she won't listen to you. Sit her down and play a few segments with her. Don't lecture her about parenting when you yourself are not a parent, but as concerned uncle who KNOWS what is in those kind of games, she should at least hear you out.

If she doesn't, there is nothing you can do.

So no, I don't think you are overreacting. It probably won't do your nephew any lasting harm, but it's not exactly something they should be so negligently exposed to either. How he interprets the game is not something you can predict.

 

[Meinos Kaen]

No, you didn't over-react. The game is rated the age it is for a reason. True, today children are exposed to that kind of stuff much more easily -like, CSI playing in prime time when children are still up- but that's not a reason to not try and limit their exposition to that kind of thing. Also, since that there are still many idiots that jump on the 'Videogames brainwash kids' bandwagon like it's still the early nineties, better be safe than sorry.

And yes, there may also be the freak chance that the kid may be a closet psycho. After the 13 yo that raped his 8 yo sister after watching porn for the first time, nothing surprises me anymore.

 

[Adeptus Aspartem]

I think you're overreacting. Ratings are pretty bogus and people should trust children a little bit more. Our gamer generation grew up with Quake, Counter Strike and Die Hard + Terminator on the movie side.
Basically every kid i knew during the age of 7-15 new both films nearly by heart and every qoute.

Everyone knew those were just games + movies not reality. But nowadays the whole "videogame" blaming even shows it's sign within the community. Every parent should know best what's for their kids and what they can/can't watch. And even if they don't: You're nor anyone else is a better judge, because you neither know the parents, the kid or the situation they're in.
Also i repeat: Those ratings always were and will always be totaly ridiculous.
Specially in the US, where nipples are more dangerous than bullets.

Don't get me wrong: It was right to issue your concern, but that's about it. If the mother tells you it's ok, you've got to deal with it. Unless you completly distrust you sister so much, but that's a whole other can of worms i'm not going to touch.

PS: Someone mentioned something aline: "Social care should be alarmed because tities". If you seriously think that an 11-year old boy with a smartphone has never googled for porn, then you're living on another planet.
Hell, even when i was that old that stuff was around already a-plenty, also there was always that one guy who had a nudy-mag.

Stop underestimating children that much.

 

[tabristhegreat]

I remember when I first got into gaming back when I was in primary school maybe 8 or 9 my mother sat down next to me and made sure i asked what i had to do in the game and made sure i understood that it was not real/i shouldn't go around jumping on peoples heads to kill them

granted, that was back in the 90's where enemies didn't so much look like people as much as pixel squares....i spose therein lies the difference. I think you were right to warn her about some of the content being perhaps a bit too much for a kid his age but honestly as long as his mother takes the time to explain the difference between real life and a game i don't think it'll cause too much harm

 

[Risingblade]

Tell her it's the same as buying him a rated R movie. If she thinks her kid can handle it then fine that's her problem now, not yours.

 

[Robert Marrs]

Its her kid but I would have the same reaction. I don't even let my little brothers in the same room when I am playing the game. 11 is to young for some of that stuff even if you discount all the violence.

 

[freaper]

I remember being 11 and absolutely wanting to see the third (?) Jurassic Park movie because my friends had all seen it. So my parents rented it for me, I sat down in front of the tv, got to one of the first scenes where a park attendee gets dragged into the raptor cage and slowly ripped apart. That shut me up good. I did not finish that movie until years later.

So I guess, let the kid experience the game and learn his lessons from there? I personally would never let my kids play a game that's two-three "categories" higher.

 

[Saltyk]

You know this reminds me of a recent stop at Gamestop.

I stopped to put a little money down on my Infamous preorder (I loved every Infamous game and I am NOT missing this one) and there was a woman with her seven year old son who was looking for a game for him. Now, the employees were all trying to help her find a game that they felt would be appropriate for such a young child who owns a PS3 and 360, and I tried to help as well. It was perfectly obvious she didn't know what was in the games, but made it clear she wanted to avoid anything with too much shooting people. It was quite annoying as there were several cases where I wanted to recommend a great game, but realized it might be something that she wouldn't want him playing, and the employees seemed to share that sentiment. At the end of the day, we did find some things for her son, and I would say it was a good experience for all involved.

I bring it up because sometimes you do need to help people who really don't know what they are buying. I've seen a woman with her young child buy Dante's Inferno. And what really got me was her looking at the back and objecting to the word "Hell", but buying it anyway. This woman's kid was young, she was obviously going to object to the game's content, but still bought it, probably due to the fact that she didn't even bother to read the ESRB description. It was maddening, and I commented to the clerk that she was going to be returning that game before long and he agreed.

In case you're wondering, it's because I saw that woman buy Dante's Inferno that I do get involved with people buying games for their kids. Because I don't want someone to buy a game from a position of ignorance and then get mad at the game or store, when it's their own fault.

Did you overreact? Nah, I don't think so. You informed your sister of what was in the game. At this point, it's all on her. If she finds the content objectionable, she can't complain that she didn't know. At the end of the day, it's her child and her decision on what she buys for him. And she probably knows her son better than you, so she probably knows what he can and can't handle. Hopefully. I wouldn't allow a kid to play GTAV, but I don't think he'll go steal cars and beat up prostitutes. At least, not because of GTAV.

 

[otakon17]

That game I think is a bit much for him just from hearing about the situation in general. However, we don't know your nephew so we don't know how mature he is at that age. Honestly it's a bit much to swallow that the game might not have a negative impact on his personality. No, you're concerned for the wellbeing of your nephew and that's not overreacting.

 

[Ieyke]

*snip*

Yeeeaaa....That's irresponsible parenting.

 

[New Frontiersman]

You're not overreacting, children that young shouldn't be playing games that like that. It sets a poor model for behavior and can have a negative impact on them psychologically. The media a person is exposed to a a child can have a big impact on how they think about the world growing up and affect future behavior.

Even discounting the violence, Grand Theft Auto often espouses negative racial and gender stereotypes, harmful views on sex and sexuality among other things. It's fine for adults who can see where the game embellishes reality but even if they know it's not real, this sort of stuff can really have an influence on kids.

Those age ratings are there for a reason.

 

[Savagezion]

I don't see any problems with that. It is just a bloody game, I played Postal 2 at that age.

Yes, the I smoke 100 cigarettes a day and I'm still fine argument. Not a very convincing point. It would be possible for Social care to just get involved because of the sexual/nudity content the game contains as it's considered inappropriate believe it or not.

The good ol' "lets take a part of his post out to misrepresent his point".

What kids can handle at what age differs. And parents should know what their kids can deal with. If the parents assume he can deal with the graphic content of GTA 5 I see no problem.

I agree with that sentiment for sure. However, if your 11 year old kid can handle torturing people and making strippers shake that ass, I really don't see that as a credit to how good of a parent you are in today's world. Want to sit down and watch "Straw Dogs" with your 11 year old? It's "cool" it has a rape scene. As the OP pointed out they are letting him play it because "all my friends are doing it". They want to be "cool/hip" parents", not prudes. It's the whole if your friends jump off a bridge mentality. In the adult world we call it mob mentality. Yay for exercising that in your child. What a great parent.

There is no way I would let anyone's 11 year old play GTA 4 or V if its my decision. GTA1 through Vice City, maybe. 14 is my age limit for M rated games. If you are in high school M rating is fair game. Not because it is "cool" but because you are about to see how fucked up the adult world is anyways. And in high school you have a mentality where "I have it all planned out, roughly". I may as well let you play stuff and start talking about it with you. Pretty soon, you will be making all your own decisions anyways. However, then I am not a "cool adult" because I am ruining (ERMERGERD!) GTA 5 or whatever M game is big for you when your friends love it. My opinion will probably fall on deaf ears to them. So my opinion gets less weight to fight against mob mentality anyways.

Parents should know what their kids can deal with but usually the decision is made by what the parent can deal with. Can they deal with being a "hypocrit" and not letting their kid do things you wanted to do as a kid? Perhaps because now that they are older they can see why it can be a bad thing. If I walked in on my kid at 11 talking like the 11 year olds do on CoD, I would be very tempted to pop him in his mouth and leave the mic on so everyone can listen to him cry like the 11 year old he is. I would humiliate my child for his own good. Kids think that is mean, but kids don't understand social interaction the way adults do. They speak a whole other language born out of ignorance - which isn't their fault, none of us was born with a handbook to life and society. My kid is not going to talk to society like a hipster idiot. That's part of my job as a parent as both he and society benefit from that rule. That's what parents are for. We are the guidebook and it can be a thankless job. God help you if your parents are ignorant. God help the parent if the kid sees them as ignorant anyways. It's all about getting through to them.

 

[lunavixen]

I don't think you're overreacting at all, you voiced your (rather valid) concerns to your sister calmly and rationally, even though she spurrned your advice. About the only thing I can think of is to sit her down and show her some of the more objectionable scenes and ask her if that's what she wants her son to be playing, otherwise, there isn't really a lot you can do without alienating your sister, and by extension, your nephew.

 

[Savagezion]

I don't think you're overreacting at all, you voiced your (rather valid) concerns to your sister calmly and rationally, even though she spurrned your advice. About the only thing I can think of is to sit her down and show her some of the more objectionable scenes and ask her if that's what she wants her son to be playing, otherwise, there isn't really a lot you can do without alienating your sister, and by extension, your nephew.

Yep, although the sister could have some decent counter points as to why her child specifically should be ok. That's the advantage to being the actual parent. Whatever the sister decides, you are going to have to run along side it and support that decision (she is the parent) to not be alienated from it.

 

[SomeBrianDude]

It all comes down to the parent, and the child. I hate using myself as an example in these situations, since my own experience is essentially meaningless when considering how other people will react, but I was allowed to watch/play 18-rated material. My mother trusted my siblings and I to able to process what we were seeing, and she was usually looking over our shoulder (not literally. She did her homework and made sure there was nothing she didn't want us to see in films/games). The only thing I can remember her not letting me watch was "A Clockwork Orange". She never refused to let us play a game.

I realise I'm not actually answering the question. You're right to be concerned. You know your sister and nephew, the fact you're concerned is probably a sign that he shouldn't be playing GTA quite yet. I would talk to him about it as he's playing. Like, have him describe it as though you've never played it. Talking about it with someone who won't just mirror his "IT'S PURE CLASS" attitude to the game will hopefully get him to think about the game, and what he's doing in it, a little more. It might help him contextualise what's going on a little better.

EDIT: Forgot to say, but you sound like good aunt.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

No, I would say you're not overreacting. I would react much the same way. The thing is though all you can do is express your concerns to your sister and if she chooses not to act on them then there's not much you can do about it.

 

[azurine]

No, that is the perfect response you are feeling. Grand Theft Auto V contains content unsuitable for younger audiences and has been rated M for Mature, which the ESRB itself describes as "Content that is generally suitable for ages 17 and up. May contain intense violence, blood and gore, sexual content and/or strong language."

So no, your reaction is perfectly healthy, and it's good that you are concerned your nephew might be experiencing something he isn't supposed to.

And I'm going to go out on a limb and guess the age of his friends as between 10-12, then say "his friends probably shouldn't be playing the game either".