I saw a youtube video about Botham's brother, Brandt, and how he forgave Amber and hugged her [https://www.cnn.com/2019/10/02/us/botham-jean-brother-amber-guyger-hug/index.html].
I have a problem with him doing it. And that's my biggest problem of all. That I have any issues of him forgiving.
You see, even when we have to forgive, we forgive as a monolith.
I have a brother. I dislike him greatly. He saddled me with my parents when they both had strokes and was more concerned about his life than helping us out. I hate him. And I would never forgive his killer so quickly and so publicly as Brandt did. Thinking about it, I can't say I'll never forgive. But it would take a lot. A-fucking-lot.
And honestly, Brandt is spiritual and he might find strength in doing this. He might even think this is what Botham wanted him to do. and while I can't wrap my head around it, I as an individual can make peace with it.
But my issue is this. Almost every perceived action of a few in the black community echoes within all of us to non-blacks. We all play basketball because of the popular perception. We all are thugs because they have seen people wear some clothing and assumed that those people were thugs. We all love Orange soda because... you know, I just realized I don't know why people think that. Doesn't everyone who drinks soda like orange soda?
Anyway, that's what's killing me. Because this very public and very controversial trial, everyone is looking for some type of hallmark or rubric to understand and figure out how we're going to proceed next as a society with these race relations. I'm afraid that people will look at Brandt's forgiveness and expect it over and over again. Because this will happen again. More 'mistakes'. More 'horrible tragedies'.
As it is, there's little understanding on why black people take to the streets to protest unjust police shootings. There are people in this world who legitimately don't get why Blacks get so upset that another unarmed or nonthreatening black man (usually) was shot down. Some people honestly think blacks make a big deal about these constant shootings. Now, we have Brandt's example and I can just feel people ready to run to it the second the next shooting comes up and while we're mobilizing a protest, someone on some right-wing show will tell them to calm down and handle it like Brandt.
And this is what Vexes me about his actions. As an individual human being, I am humbled and in awe of someone doing something like that. As a black man, I realize we're never individuals. And I can see this action being used against us. And I hate that I have to think in 4d chess anytime there's a black person in media doing anything. And I super hate that I have to judge someone's healing process because I know it will have ramifications for all of us.