An Ideal Apocalypse

[Vern]

My perfect apocalypse would be an (un)intentionally fired nuclear ICBM at Moscow. The Russians start firing nukes back, the British, French, and Israelis start firing nuclear missiles toward Russia, China jumps the gun and starts firing them at the US and India, who then fire them at China and Pakistan. All of the other countries in the world who haven't joined in slowly die from a nuclear winter. Meanwhile Kim Jong-Il thinks "Damn, I was supposed to start this."
All living things sizzle and pop inside a radioactive fireball. I am rather scared to think that Russia might at this point may be able to put a warhead on the scale of the Czar Bomba on an ICBM.

Still, the all-out nuclear holocaust would be more exciting than the more probable anti-biotic resistant disease apocalpyse.

 

[InsertWittyName]

Ideal apocolypse? Northen part of the world dies and i get a bj till the end of time.

 

[Dooblet]

before

fighting through the zombie apocalypse with an old war veteran, a biker dude, an office worker, and a collage girl.

hmmmmm this seems oddly familiar, i wonder... nope, haven't seen this one

 

[Lord Thodin]

I strike the world back into the dark ages and introduce the Plauge back into society effectively killing 5/8ths of the worlds population. Now i finally get to wear armor, and use swords.

 

[Jaranja]

I am elected emperor of the world. I am liked for a long time but suddenly, paranoia creeps in and i think that the moon wants to take over my planet! So i launch all the nukes at the moon; it explodes; shards of broken moon fall to the Earth; everyone dies except me. I escape in a spaceship and land on Mars. I create a big crystal structure that looks like the inside of a clock and curse about how dickish the late population of Earth were to me.

Ofcourse, i'd take hookers with me too!

 

[LongAndShort]

The USA, EU, China and Russia finally push each other too far and wipe each other out in a nuclear holocaust leaving us in the Southern Hemisphere (and maybe Canada) going "shit...." Nuclear winter would last a month but then it'd clear up and we'd have to start rebuilding.

 

[banthesun]

My perfect apocalypse would be an (un)intentionally fired nuclear ICBM at Moscow. The Russians start firing nukes back, the British, French, and Israelis start firing nuclear missiles toward Russia, China jumps the gun and starts firing them at the US and India, who then fire them at China and Pakistan. All of the other countries in the world who haven't joined in slowly die from a nuclear winter. Meanwhile Kim Jong-Il thinks "Damn, I was supposed to start this."
All living things sizzle and pop inside a radioactive fireball. I am rather scared to think that Russia might at this point may be able to put a warhead on the scale of the Czar Bomba on an ICBM.

Still, the all-out nuclear holocaust would be more exciting than the more probable anti-biotic resistant disease apocalpyse.

You have a zombie avatar! Why don't they feature at all in this post?

 

[Vern]

My perfect apocalypse would be an (un)intentionally fired nuclear ICBM at Moscow. The Russians start firing nukes back, the British, French, and Israelis start firing nuclear missiles toward Russia, China jumps the gun and starts firing them at the US and India, who then fire them at China and Pakistan. All of the other countries in the world who haven't joined in slowly die from a nuclear winter. Meanwhile Kim Jong-Il thinks "Damn, I was supposed to start this."
All living things sizzle and pop inside a radioactive fireball. I am rather scared to think that Russia might at this point may be able to put a warhead on the scale of the Czar Bomba on an ICBM.

Still, the all-out nuclear holocaust would be more exciting than the more probable anti-biotic resistant disease apocalpyse.

You have a zombie avatar! Why don't they feature at all in this post?

Fine Papa Legba is riding on the missiles and he turns all those killed by it into zombies.

The zombies didn't fall into the post because it was a realistic apocalypse setting. Although a zombie uprising would be awesome I don't think it would be bad enough to constitute an apocalypse. Anyone isolated on say an island wouldn't be affected, and if you had a fortified position where you could keep zombies out you wouldn't be affected, unless it ends up being an air-borne contagion. A nuclear winter, no real way you can escape that, unless you have a 30 year water and food supply and can stand not going crazy for the duration.

Alpaca-lips-wow!

 

[Emilin_Rose]

retard populaion outnumbers the intelligent population. The government decides to create soldiers out of them by removing any way for them to form strong emotional attachment to anyone. They then go around killing anything that moves, including the government itself.

Once their done the survivors will all be retard soldiers, thus beginning the slow decline of man in a reverse-evolutionary state until they all turn back into slime.

It seems fitting somehow, for man to end how it began.

 

[Hexenwolf]

All the stupid people die from spontaneous combustion.

 

[Washboard]

I've said it before and I'll say it again...

A planetary avalanche of beautiful women and scotch.

or, in another twist, death of all the other men in the world and water turning into wine? oh, and chocolate earth...mmmm

 

[notsosavagemessiah]

Simple, humanity manages to stave off it's instinct to kill one another long enough for this statement to occur, "this just in, stocks are up, unemployment is down, and the UN has just declared global peace forever". All of course would be true. Then the sun explodes and kills us because we took so goddamned long to get along that we really should've been exploring space by then, but we didn't, and the sun punishes us for it.

 

[WIUtomato]

Whatever it ends up as, I rather wish it would hurry up and get on with it already...

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

radioactive french fries, they're glowtastic!

 

[HentMas]

a gene that makes rabbits inmortal!!!

seriously,with the rappid spread of that species we would be breathing rabbit in 5 days

 

[HentMas]

Simple, humanity manages to stave off it's instinct to kill one another long enough for this statement to occur, "this just in, stocks are up, unemployment is down, and the UN has just declared global peace forever". All of course would be true. Then the sun explodes and kills us because we took so goddamned long to get along that we really should've been exploring space by then, but we didn't, and the sun punishes us for it.

you have being listening to 3 dog too much lately havent you??

 

[Mr. Retro]

My perfect apocalypse would happen some time distant into the future. (It's for a book I am writing)
Alright, so humanity is actually doing pretty well. We've managed to perfect cryogenics, and now it's mandatory. Bunches and bunches of people are placed in towers after their death, kept in storage for later in case of a population crisis. We've also mastered sentient AI, who are actually treated as equals due to a movement much earlier on.

Then, through no fault of our own, a meteor strikes earth, incinerating the atmosphere and killing all organic life on Earth. That means only a few robots are left to rebuild, and to tend to the cryo pods. Not all of the robots are sentient, especially the ones tending our dead, but the ones made to advance technology definitely are. For hundreds of years the robots go on with their existance, finding ways to maintain themselves. A group of robots suggest turning off all the power in the cryo-towers, and using it for their people, while other suggest finding a new home for the humans.

As time goes on, a robot discovers a way to transfer a majority of the humans to a new planet, since they're all cryoed anyway, it won't matter how long it takes to get to the new planets. So the robots load the humans onto the ships, and start taking off. Unfortunately, a few of the robots don't want humans to come back, and attack a few of the ships, destroying them. In retaliation, several nuclear bombs are fired onto Earth, releasing EMPs and whiping out the circuit boards of all the rebellious robots while leaving the loyalists to venture off with their human cargo, deep into space. Earth is once again free of any intelligence, a barren rock soon to become like Mars. Still, humanity has the chance to live on when they come across a distant planet, and then humanity restarts it's existance. Of course, the problems faced by people trying to work together seperated by dozens of generations arise, but things generally look up for us.

 

[Happy Toki Toki]

A race of super sexy horny alien women who rape all people to death?

 

[CNKFan]

Fallout style apocalypse

 

[LogicNProportion]

Twilight getting a second shot at the silver screen...wait, what? OH SHI-

TIS JUST THE BEGINNING! But seriously? Apparently, there's a theory by a bunch of scientists I read in my newspaper a couple months ago that it seems that there is a tear in space not too far away that is akin to a black hole that relates to the division of zero. I shit you not. I'll look for it later.