What are you struggling to get on with? what difficulties are you facing? you only mention the cause not the effect
Any pointers on how to get on in life after a difficult breakup?
- Thread starter Hamish Durie
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I was going to say sweet sweeet revenge but then this beauty caught my eye. The greatest drink known to man.wooty said:When I broke up with my ex, this was the answer.
Shortly followed by the girl who was serving me them all night.
[http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/99/18061816638228007491412.jpg/]
Best advice I could give for getting over a break up is get on with your life. Do things you find fun put some more time into your hobbies, spend time with friends, try not to spend too much time by yourself feeling sorry for yourself. Generally live your life and have fun. The hurt will go in its own time.
1. Have you spoken with her about it -- and really listened to her? I know your feelings are hurt, and you feel betrayed, but maybe you should talk through whether she was intending to betray you. She might just be bisexual, and maybe she didn't feel comfortable telling you, so she kept it on the sly.Hamish Durie said:
2. Try not to only focus on how your feelings were hurt. That's going to seal the doom of many future relationships if you do. Behavior is communication, so you should also try to get to the bottom of what that behavior really means. HINT: It's not always the answer you feel is the most obvious.
3. If you don't plan to salvage the relationship, it's time to move on. The best way to move on is to just move on. Cut ties, get into some new hobbies with some new friends, avoid rebound relationships. Eventually, you'll realize that life intends to go on, and so will you.
Godwin's law by post four. Nice.SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
OT: I suppose I could use some advice like this. A while ago my own relationship went into the shitter. I feel better at times, but it seems to resurface every now and then.
What I can personally say from what I'm currently experiencing is do not, under any circumstances, pay any attention to her facebook posts.
Normally I'd recommend deleting her on everything, drinking a metric fuck-tonne, and forcibly taking an interest in other girls until you forget about it. (By making sure you at least take note of fit ones I mean, I'm not advocating being... y'know, forceful.)
But then this is a less normal situation, and I'm not sure I could willingly delete two girls going at it from my mind. They revoke your man-license for that kind of thing.
But then this is a less normal situation, and I'm not sure I could willingly delete two girls going at it from my mind. They revoke your man-license for that kind of thing.
Just found it mildly amusing is all.SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
As for the Facebook thing, I know I shouldn't, and that it'll only hurt me. I guess it's just because I'm at a place in my life where one night stands would be relatively simple, but there aren't any immediate people I could really relate to, which sucks because a good relationship is what I really want right now, and is what I thought I had with my ex. All in all, I guess I just want to avoid that nasty surprise of one day walking into the college hub to see her kissing another guy. I want to deal with that nasty little shock in my own privacy, but what it leads to is worse in the long run. I guess the more self involved part of me wants some sign that she's unhappy without me. I'm not doing it anymore aside from one brief relapse the other day. It's just brutal that my first attempt in over a year at a relationship ended with being drunkenly cheated on. I guess it makes me go back over all that happened and obsess over little instances where I might have acted differently. There is no other psychological torture that comes close, I can fucking tell you.
As a friend and former mentor of mine always said, "it's easier to solve other people's problems than your own", so I guess I'll just put all my social efforts into helping people for the time being.
Honestly dude, just keep on keeping on is the best thing to do. It sounds like you've broken up and you're still around to tell the tale, so it doesn't sound too terrible. Like people have said, learn to enjoy flying solo for a while and just take it easy on the dating scene for a bit. Last thing ya need is to jump right into another crappy relationship just because it's there and you're feeling down.
Just give it some time and you'll be feeling better about it. Time cures (almost) all wounds. Or so I've been told.
Just give it some time and you'll be feeling better about it. Time cures (almost) all wounds. Or so I've been told.
You hate to see "an otherwise stable relationship" break up over one of the partners completely betraying the other person's trust by sleeping with another person?! The hell is wrong with you? When your partner cheats on you, that immediately ceases to be a stable relationship. Any sense of trust is gone; this person has betrayed you.Heronblade said:
But hey, you stay in such a relationship if you want to. Have fun being a doormat for your partner while you wait for a "repeating pattern of deception" to emerge. How many times do you have to be cheated on for that to occur? 2? 3? 5? 10? Fuck that nonsense, cheat once and it's over.
The only unreasonable thing here is your claim that being cheated on isn't a good reason to end a relationship.Heronblade said:
And I pity those that feel its okay for their partner to treat them like a doormat. You fail to realize that the "fear and suspicion of infidelity" only occurs after they cheat once because now you can no longer trust them. Leaving the cheating piece of trash eliminates living in fear and suspicion of them cheating on you again and frees you up to find someone else who isn't a total douchebag. But hey, once again, have fun being some person's doormat while you try to fix "stable" relationships that aren't stable anymore.Heronblade said:
Kronenbourg? The guy's just had his heart broken and you suggest a Pale Lager? That's like applying a band aid to stop the bleeding on a severed artery!wooty said:When I broke up with my ex, this was the answer.
Shortly followed by the girl who was serving me them all night.
[http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/99/18061816638228007491412.jpg/]
No, at times like this, a man needs a drink that make the world a better place.
It's even Single Malt!
Just take every day one step at a time and overtime you will learn to fight it. Trust me it always takes a lot of time though.
You should focus on doing your favorite hobbies even if you don't want to at the moment. Also spend a lot of money on stupid stuff will make you feel better.
Also avoid the rebound as mentioned and don't do anything stupid.
You should focus on doing your favorite hobbies even if you don't want to at the moment. Also spend a lot of money on stupid stuff will make you feel better.
Also avoid the rebound as mentioned and don't do anything stupid.
It was just a visual aid, first pic I came across.Desworks said:Kronenbourg? The guy's just had his heart broken and you suggest a Pale Lager? That's like applying a band aid to stop the bleeding on a severed artery!wooty said:When I broke up with my ex, this was the answer.
Shortly followed by the girl who was serving me them all night.
[http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/99/18061816638228007491412.jpg/]
Anway, whats wrong with the Kron? Its the beer of kings and the easily pleased
If the issues that led to her to cheating have not been resolved that chances of her cheating again are extremely high.Heronblade said:
Also Hamish will probably struggle to trust her again. Without trust a relationship is pointless. I would only advise people to keep at their relationships if:
- The cheater is disgusted with what they did.
- The cheater is willing to work on resolving their underlying issues.
- The cheater is willing to apologise everyone who got caught up in their shitstorm.
- The cheated is able to accept the apology.
- The cheated is able to rebuild trust.
Otherwise its pointless. Its usually pointless.
Tits.
Now that I have your attention, pretending to be gay is an obvious way of breaking up without feeling bad. She probably didn't want to hurt you and therefore tried to make you be the one to break up, and asked a friend of yours.
It attenuates the situation - compared to cheating you with another man.
Now that I have your attention, pretending to be gay is an obvious way of breaking up without feeling bad. She probably didn't want to hurt you and therefore tried to make you be the one to break up, and asked a friend of yours.
It attenuates the situation - compared to cheating you with another man.
Have sex with her brother (if she has one) and take pictures. Then, email her the pictures, throw them in her mailbox, paste her house full of them. Then, after 2 weeks or so, ask how she likes it. Ooh, to make it even better, secretly infect that female lover of hers with an STD, and say that it came from your ex.
...I'm pretty bad at this kind of advice, aren't I?
...I'm pretty bad at this kind of advice, aren't I?
Can kind of relate. Ex did the same thing. Did not walk in on her, but she told me about it. She did not tell me who, but it was easy to figure out who she was giving it to. That other woman's boyfriend, however, did not know.
We did not break up though. She found someone that was at her intelligence level and chose him over me.
Anyway, the best thing to do is give yourself time. It's not going to be easy to get over, but eventually you will get past this.
We did not break up though. She found someone that was at her intelligence level and chose him over me.
Anyway, the best thing to do is give yourself time. It's not going to be easy to get over, but eventually you will get past this.