Apologize on behalf of your country
- Thread starter OldAccount
- Start date
I am truthfully sorry for my country's nature of wanting to be the best at everything, that we let the smallest little shit get to our heads, and how the public is filled with dumb f*ck's who worship fox news. I am EXTREMELY sorry for the last thing, in fact.
World, I am sorry that America is so much awesomer then any of your countries. I am sorry that every day, all of you have to live in the shadow of our greatness. Please forgive us for how great we are, and I hope that someday y'all can be half as great as us.
/irony
Nah, but really. I do want to apologize to the English for stealing everything good they've ever done, and twisting into something... Not as good.
/irony
Nah, but really. I do want to apologize to the English for stealing everything good they've ever done, and twisting into something... Not as good.
On behalf of America, I'd like to apologize for the movie North, one of the most culturally insensitive kids films I've ever had the horror of watching.
On behalf of America, specific to countries.
To Canada and Russia: Sorry for Alaska and the monster in our political system from it, If it were up to me I'd let you two annex it, especially since it's full of oil and we're teasing you by not even trying to drill it.
To all socialist/communist states: I'm sorry we try to say we're better than you and go out of our way to be mean to you, you're government works for you and ours for us, or at least capitalism used to love us but I think it changed it's mind in recent years.
To Britain: Sorry for taking credit in wars that we couldn't have won without you. Also thanks for the good bands that you sent to us (ei, the beatles, pink floyd, rolling stones, etc. there's a lot of them and they were all awesome). Also sorry for not speaking your language correctly.
To the world, but mostly Samoa: Sorry for our disgusting fast food that we've poisoned ourselves and everyone else with, although I always appreciate that as long as we have mcdonalds I could hit rock bottom and still be able to get a square meal for a dollar.
To the world, but mostly Australia: Sorry for our tourists.
To a number of developing nations: Sorry for messing up everything by funding civil wars, especially if it was just to use you for resources or to beat on some communists, sorry for conflict diamonds in Africa, sorry we won't leave the Middle East. really sorry for everything.
To Russia and others who still consider yourselves Soviets: Sorry we still fantasize about being heroes in wars against you.
To Muslims across the world: Sorry we're so ignorant and prejudiced to your religion; 911 hurt but that doesn't justify "burn a koran day"
To gays across the world: Sorry for a number of things, but most recently taking so long to repeal don't ask don't tell
To Europe in general, but mostly France, England, Ireland, Germany, and Russia: Sorry for our horrible jokes about you.
To Mexico and the rest of Latin America: Sorry if we let those who've immigrated here down with that whole "American dream" ideal that no longer exists, and sorry for the prejudice and our immigration policies.
To China: Sorry for being hypocrits by hating on your government and talking about how underpaid sweatshop workers make everything at walmart but still buying your stuff.
To North Korea (not that you can read this unless you've escaped): Well really just to the government, but sorry in advance for how bad we're gonna fuck you up and sorry to everyone for not having done so already.
To Japan: Sorry for stereotypes, although I still find it sad that you're taking over our pop culture, I miss good American animated cartoons...
To Everyone everywhere ever: Sorry for our arrogance and truly awful TV.
To any aliens: Sorry for the conspiracies about you and the fact that we like to fill space with radio gargles just so you'll hear us, although I'll never apologize for the show invader zim, which as far as I'm concerned is the greatest show in existence.
I think that's most of it. Jeeze we're messed up.
To Canada and Russia: Sorry for Alaska and the monster in our political system from it, If it were up to me I'd let you two annex it, especially since it's full of oil and we're teasing you by not even trying to drill it.
To all socialist/communist states: I'm sorry we try to say we're better than you and go out of our way to be mean to you, you're government works for you and ours for us, or at least capitalism used to love us but I think it changed it's mind in recent years.
To Britain: Sorry for taking credit in wars that we couldn't have won without you. Also thanks for the good bands that you sent to us (ei, the beatles, pink floyd, rolling stones, etc. there's a lot of them and they were all awesome). Also sorry for not speaking your language correctly.
To the world, but mostly Samoa: Sorry for our disgusting fast food that we've poisoned ourselves and everyone else with, although I always appreciate that as long as we have mcdonalds I could hit rock bottom and still be able to get a square meal for a dollar.
To the world, but mostly Australia: Sorry for our tourists.
To a number of developing nations: Sorry for messing up everything by funding civil wars, especially if it was just to use you for resources or to beat on some communists, sorry for conflict diamonds in Africa, sorry we won't leave the Middle East. really sorry for everything.
To Russia and others who still consider yourselves Soviets: Sorry we still fantasize about being heroes in wars against you.
To Muslims across the world: Sorry we're so ignorant and prejudiced to your religion; 911 hurt but that doesn't justify "burn a koran day"
To gays across the world: Sorry for a number of things, but most recently taking so long to repeal don't ask don't tell
To Europe in general, but mostly France, England, Ireland, Germany, and Russia: Sorry for our horrible jokes about you.
To Mexico and the rest of Latin America: Sorry if we let those who've immigrated here down with that whole "American dream" ideal that no longer exists, and sorry for the prejudice and our immigration policies.
To China: Sorry for being hypocrits by hating on your government and talking about how underpaid sweatshop workers make everything at walmart but still buying your stuff.
To North Korea (not that you can read this unless you've escaped): Well really just to the government, but sorry in advance for how bad we're gonna fuck you up and sorry to everyone for not having done so already.
To Japan: Sorry for stereotypes, although I still find it sad that you're taking over our pop culture, I miss good American animated cartoons...
To Everyone everywhere ever: Sorry for our arrogance and truly awful TV.
To any aliens: Sorry for the conspiracies about you and the fact that we like to fill space with radio gargles just so you'll hear us, although I'll never apologize for the show invader zim, which as far as I'm concerned is the greatest show in existence.
I think that's most of it. Jeeze we're messed up.
On behalf of America I apologies for our huge fehcking ego that we use to shield the public from our massive hypocritism throughout history. And I also apologies to the French I don't know why we make so much fun of you guys were basically biting the hand that feeds us when we talk smack about you guys.
I'm from the USA.
Sorry for always being so apologetic about being American. That's starting to become almost as annoying as being the loud, fat, stupid stereotype that we are apologizing for.
Wait.. Damnit
Sorry for always being so apologetic about being American. That's starting to become almost as annoying as being the loud, fat, stupid stereotype that we are apologizing for.
Wait.. Damnit
We are verrry sorry for not kirring alr American warmongers and scuttring cockroaches. We wish our nukes were better so we can kirr more inferior peopre for the great reader.
---North Korea
---North Korea
Oh my.. Where to start?
Sorry about Justin Bieber.. (last name is probably spelled wrong.. Oh well)
Also sorry for being a country who cannot keep to themselves and have to constantly be involved in other's businesses.
And Bush.. Palin.. And our giant super sized ego.
Sorry about Justin Bieber.. (last name is probably spelled wrong.. Oh well)
Also sorry for being a country who cannot keep to themselves and have to constantly be involved in other's businesses.
And Bush.. Palin.. And our giant super sized ego.
No amount of apologies makes up for Beiber... least not until the next abomination rears its hideously bright and cheerful face.SAT4NSLILHELPER said:
OT: I, on behalf of America, apologize for the existence of America. My ancestors fought hard to keep those bastard settlers off this land or at least keep a fair share of land for themselves. But we suffered at the hands of some very early versions of germ-warfare and were faced with technology our people were not ready for. If it were up to me, I'd be taking the land back as we speak. Unfortunately, I don't have the legal authority to do that until my doomsday device is finished. So... I apologize on behalf of the Native American people for not defending America better from it's horrid European invaders back in the before-time of the long-long-ago AND I apologize for not having that doomsday device finished yet. But the last one isn't my fault since I need a chemical that doesn't yet exist to make it work. Darn the luck.
Uhh well I doubt that compares with Bulgaria which didn't deport any of its Jews the entire war despite the fact that it would've been overrun by the Nazi's.RaZor921 said:
Mr.Mattress said:
To be fair, Britain was still the biggest nation on Earth IIRC, at least they still had India and all their former colonies joined as well and Russia was preparing for the war in the 1930's. While they went through great sacrifice it was their own fault i.e. poor generals, that's why Russia lost so many men and Britain kept getting stuck. Britain was as least able to shine in Africa but it already controlled most of it anyway and it was very easy to move troops from the Commonwealth nations into Africa. America on the other hand while it didn't do all the work in the European theatre it did all the work in the Pacific theater, Britain was too far away to make a difference leaving Australia to do it, Russia was concentrating on the European front and didn't join in until Japan had already lost to take some territories. America on the other hand did most of the fighting in the Pacific theater and had amazing generals that tended to leave the British ones in the dust like Patton (i.e. Montegomery asks Patton for his arty to cross the Rhine and without it Patton still crosses the Rhine faster then Montegomery) not to mention how bad they were before, their numerous failed landings in France and the failed ones in Norway (which came as a punch in the face to Churchhill as he just repeated Gallipoli again).
In short America performed better then Russia or Britain and I'd say it and Germany were the nations that performed best in the war as Germany repeatedly humiliated the Allies in everything, from technology to conquests.
In short America performed better then Russia or Britain and I'd say it and Germany were the nations that performed best in the war as Germany repeatedly humiliated the Allies in everything, from technology to conquests.
