Apple Patents New "Anti-Sexting" Technology

[Kitteh]

Nooooo!!! Now what will i drunkenly text women I am attracted to?

 

[Cuppa Tetleys]

Fuck. That.

Too far.

The resistance starts here, WHO'S WITH ME?

I AM!!! Apple is trying to regulate society so that we're all under watch and being 'good boys and girls', but I say NO!!

 

[Olikunmissile]

Fuck. That.

Too far.

The resistance starts here, WHO'S WITH ME?

Does the "resistance" involve opening a text-ing based sex line? I'm in, if that's the case.

... I'll be honest you've put the most thought into it so far. So yes, that is now officially what we are going to do. Bunch of dudes... Sexting each other, out of protest... Kinda reminds me of that South Park ep where people from the future come back in time looking for jobs so all the men have a massive gay orgy to stop the future from happening...

Maybe... We could just set fire to apple HQ instead?

 

[Nieroshai]

Next the phones will be waiting to hear the words sex, dick, or vagina and shut off. Can we have more Big Brother please?

 

[lostzombies.com]

Yes so instead of sending texts about having sex/drugs, the kids will just go and actually have sex/drugs.

Censorship has never and will never worked. People experiment when they want to and nothing, NOTHING will stop them. Especially some stupid apple gimmick.

 

[George Palmer]

APPLE RAGE!!! lol...no but seriously. Its not saying that Apple is going to keep you from doing what you want with your phone. What its saying is that its giving parents the ability to keep you from doing what you want with your phone.

In the meanwhile your going to have to get used to saying G-rated filth like "I wanna fill your whoohaa with goof juice". (see patton oswalt for more g-rated filth lol)

 

[Le_Lisra]

Dear Parents,

when you need something like this YOU FAILED.

Love,

Lis

 

[SwimmingRock]

Hey, I cant wait to marklar your marklar with my marklar all marklar long, then get onto all four marklars and marklar the marklar with my marklar marklar...


something like that I'd imagine?

Is it wrong that my first thought was "You can't use 'marklar' as an adjective"?

I do believe this is my first encounter with a "fictional grammar nazi". I tip my hat to you, sir. Truly well played and nicely caught.

OT: This seems like an idiotic money scheme to me. The only parents who will buy this are overly concerned prudes who don't realize that either their child will find a workaround themselves or one of their friends will know one. Failing that, the internet will have a 'solution' the day this censor program hits anyway. Futile and pointless, but they'll still get money from the poor saps who don't grasp that it's futile and pointless.

 

[Black Rabt]

For a really, really good time, switch to Verizon.

 

[The Bum]

We are Apple. Clean up your messages and surrender your rights. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.

That was my borg refernce danm it!

Seriously what is this the spanish inqustion?

And censorship is stupid keeping somthing from someone will only make them want it more, like say someone lived and worked in a tiny hut with not connections to others and was fine with it. But the moment you put them in solitary confinment they'll be banging on the walls screaming to be let out.

 

[TPiddy]

How about you stop buying your kids fucking iPhones???? I mean, I can understand not wanting fake dicks in Lego because Lego is targeted at a young audience. Who in their right mind gives a 12 year old an iPhone? Rich douchebags who don't have time to parent. That's who. And besides, if the kids a more appropriate age for a fully functional cell phone like an iPhone, say 16, then they are just about adults and should be allowed to sext if they want to.

 

[robandall]

All those that remember predictive texting will still be able to fall back on dualing people's aunts.

 

[PissOffRoth]

Fuck. That.

Too far.

The resistance starts here, WHO'S WITH ME?

You have my rifle, brother.

 

[Asehujiko]

Fucking hell, it's only a few dirty messages; does that really require forking out for a patent?

Not if said patent can be abused in order to attack any other spamfilter.

 

[Decagonapus]

Apple, let me tell you about euphemisms...
Horny teenagers are far too creative and this product sounds far too stupid to work. And it does nothin' about pictures... That's... useless.

Also this kind of censorship is going to lead to a horrible evolution of the english language...
...No point trying to stop them and we shouldn't anyway. We should teach them to be responsible.

It's the parent's responsibility, and that's the point. This crap lets them feel like they are parenting when they're not, they're just relying on a crutch, and simply shielding their kids without educating them.

And so it continues. The moral guardians and the PR planners doing what they must for the sake of appearances and the youth not giving a shit and doing what they like in a slightly different way.

Apple - Now your just being silly. (no surprise though, you've always been about appearances)
Parents - You poor blind moronic consumers, take some responsibility and stop buying smart phones for your 12 yr old kids. Then go ahead and teach them how to properly treat members of the opposite sex.

 

[BlackStar42]

So they're trying to stop teenagers screwing? Have they tried to turn the tide back yet, or is that further down the to-do list?

Fuck. That.

Too far.

The resistance starts here, WHO'S WITH ME?

You have my rifle, brother.

AND MY AXE! Wait. Don't have an axe. Scratch that. You have my guitar! Their ears can only take so much pain!

 

[Stonerfrog]

Fuck. That.

Too far.

The resistance starts here, WHO'S WITH ME?

Me!

 

[Steve Butts]

Seriously though, this is a ridiculous invasion of privacy.

How is it an invasion of privacy for a parent or employer paying for a service to restrict the use of it for certain content by third parties? The outrage displayed over this issue is ridiculous.

If you want to get angry at anything, at least start with the way corporations are collecting and monitoring information about our usage and purchase habits, not with tools that help customers hold others accountable for the way they use services they don't pay for.