Bayonetta 2 Review - A Witch In Time

[Hades]

1. The game takes the SquareEnix Fashion Approach and dials it up to 11. Jim himself mentions the headless angel that talks out of a baby's face on his sword, but he doesn't bat an eye at how ridiculous that is, how the game is nothing but spikes and wings and halos and baby-faces but apparently he's okay with that and the ludicrous plot and the bizarre combat system for Bayonetta while he tears SquareEnix a new one for literally the same problem. Once Bayonetta hits her action sequences, the whole thing turns into a spinning dervish of random colors on top of environments that are spinning in orbit around more spinning. Kaleidoscopes have more to focus on than Bayonetta's games.

2. Bayonetta isn't sexy. Sorry, she's not. A better animator could have made her more graceful, but instead she struts back and forth with this stiff, robotic, "I'm wearing platform shoes that are way too big for me and I don't want to trip" gait, juts her body parts out at weird angles like she's working a kink out of her back, and usually ends it with an awkward standing-squat that looks like she's trying to use a bidet while riding a horse. This is like Gina Davis trying to be sexy and its so freakin' upsetting because you know she's trying her best but she's just failing so hard. Oh but she wears skin-tight clothes so I guess that's fine. And she gets naked repeatedly because her clothes are also her hair and her hair has to transform into other things like weapons and belts and zippers and more hair and FUCK'S SAKE JIM YOU JUST DID A JIMQUISITION ON WHY THIS KIND OF NONSENSE IS SO FUCKING STUPID!

I think this is a clear case of ''context is everything''.

The Final fantasy XIII series took itself 10000% seriously which makes the main characters walking around in numerous belts and other weird clothing, along with bizarre looking monsters much harder to swallow then Bayonetta which is a series that openly revels in the absurdity it presents.

Bayonetta knows its setting is over the top and absolutely absurd and its proud of it while XIII probably considered itself a very serious matter.

 

[DrOswald]

When you know how to play spectacle fighters it's generally quite easy to follow the action. So I guess the answer to this is git gud?

"Git gud" is a poor argument. There is no challenge to Bayonetta, it's all button mashing and QTE's. You don't need skill, just patience. The rest is flashing lights and nonsense to make an otherwise boring combat experience less obvious. And you fell for it, because you call this a "spectacle fighter" when it's just another beat-'em-up with pretensions of epicness. It's like you're playing tennis, and every time you hit the ball, a firework goes off in your face and a naked woman runs across the field for a split second.

I don't need to adjust myself to someone else's inability to design proper action. You don't force yourself to sit through The Dark Knight Rises and its poorly edited fight scenes when you can go watch Captain America: The Winter Soldier and its beautifully choreographed and professionally filmed action.

Just out of curiosity, if Bayonetta 2 is Dark Knight Rises, what is Winter Soldier?

 

[Callate]

Long and short:

Edge magazine gave this a 10.

...Edge magazine doesn't give 10s.

I'm getting a Wii-U at the end of the year, and I'm buying this.

 

[V4Viewtiful]

Pre-order the limited edition with the first one, I got a Wii You when I heard the realse slot for SSB4. Played the demo, though I sucked I did have fun.

 

[Kinitawowi]

My Wii U arrived on Thursday. CeX will apparently give me £129 in store credit for it.

Yes, I sucked it up and bought a Wii U just for this game. No, I am not particularly proud of that.

Long and short:

Edge magazine gave this a 10.

...Edge magazine doesn't give 10s.

They gave the first one a 10 as well. Hopefully this isn't going to be like them giving Super Mario Galaxy 2 a 10 it scarcely deserved...

 

[Olas]

It looks like it could be fun, but to be honest, I find the idea of "endless crotch shots" and "horny pandering" a little off-putting to say the least. Is Jim overplaying those elements or is the game really like that? The answer could determine whether I finally buy a WiiU.

 

[Jimothy Sterling]

It looks like it could be fun, but to be honest, I find the idea of "endless crotch shots" and "horny pandering" a little off-putting to say the least. Is Jim overplaying those elements or is the game really like that? The answer could determine whether I finally buy a WiiU.

You can't overplay anything Bayonetta does. It's a tribute to gaudy overindulgence. That's part of its strength.

 

[KazeAizen]

My Wii U arrived on Thursday. CeX will apparently give me £129 in store credit for it.

Yes, I sucked it up and bought a Wii U just for this game. No, I am not particularly proud of that.

Long and short:

Edge magazine gave this a 10.

...Edge magazine doesn't give 10s.

They gave the first one a 10 as well. Hopefully this isn't going to be like them giving Super Mario Galaxy 2 a 10 it scarcely deserved...

Now you can get Hyrule Warriors as well. Don't worry. The library for the Wii U is in good shape now and will be in phenomenal shape once Super Smash hits two months from now and Splatoon and Mario Maker hit.

 

[Aaron Sylvester]

I get that without Nintendo this game wouldn't exist, but it's still a damn shame it's exclusive to Wii U. I'm happy Wii U owners finally got thrown a decent 3rd party title, good for them. Also at least Platinum got to make the sequel.

But still...too bad it couldn't be on a decent platform. Shame on Sony for not backing the developer, who the fuck turns down a Bayonetta sequel?

Oh well, at least a Wii U emulator on PC will come around eventually so all hope isn't lost.

 

[marioandsonic]

Good review, Jim. I may pick this up next week or so as something for the Wii U to hold my attention with until SSB4 comes out.

I'm also glad that, unlike another website (which I won't say here), you didn't take points off of it just because of the over-the-top sexuality. Seriously, that would be really fucking stupid.

 

[PunkRex]

There's nothing on the Wii-U they said, get a XBone/PS4 instead they said, NOW WHO'S LAUGHING!? I'LL GIVE YOU A CLUE!!!

 

[V4Viewtiful]

It looks like it could be fun, but to be honest, I find the idea of "endless crotch shots" and "horny pandering" a little off-putting to say the least. Is Jim overplaying those elements or is the game really like that? The answer could determine whether I finally buy a WiiU.

You can't overplay anything Bayonetta does. It's a tribute to gaudy overindulgence. That's part of its strength.

exactly, you have to go into this like those old 80s action movies. it's silly absurd and a bit/lot juvenile but it doesn't stop the action being fun and engaging. And some memorable characters here and there.

 

[Mangue Surfer]

who the fuck turns down a Bayonetta sequel?

Everybody. I totally can see Microsoft giving it a pass because is too japanese or Activision because they think chicks are icky, but Sony and Nanco Bandai?!
I think it's because dmc sell poorly.

On the flip side, I'm happy that Ubisoft passed it. #30fpsmyass

 

[Kinitawowi]

Now you can get Hyrule Warriors as well. Don't worry. The library for the Wii U is in good shape now and will be in phenomenal shape once Super Smash hits two months from now and Splatoon and Mario Maker hit.

Four don't cares, I'm afraid. I haven't liked a Mario or Zelda since the SNES days [/lawn], and SSB is a resounding "meh".

 

[DaViller]

I don't need to adjust myself to someone else's inability to design proper action. You don't force yourself to sit through The Dark Knight Rises and its poorly edited fight scenes when you can go watch Captain America: The Winter Soldier and its beautifully choreographed and professionally filmed action.

Ok man I can totally get someone not liking bayonetta. It´s like with darksouls, for some it´s the first coming of christ (because there was no christ before dark souls and if there ever was, dark souls backstabbed him right on the spot), for others it´s glitchy and unnessecarily hard. But don´t ever mention captain "I´m lame" america anywhere near the glory, the magnificence, the amazingness, that is bayonetta.

 

[008Zulu_v1legacy]

I really want this game, but it isn't available in Australia yet.

 

[softclocks]

People actually find Bayonetta attractive?

I mean, she doesn't even look human...

I don't need to adjust myself to someone else's inability to design proper action. You don't force yourself to sit through The Dark Knight Rises and its poorly edited fight scenes when you can go watch Captain America: The Winter Soldier and its beautifully choreographed and professionally filmed action.

Can't stop laughing at this.

Someone recommended CA for the action scenes.

 

[vagabondwillsmile]

Snip

Don't believe me?

Fans of hack n slash games go for the easy kills first run through, but the real meat and potatoes of Bayonetta comes from the depth in combat behind the red flashing buttons you think veterans of the character action genre are "falling for".
And button mashing in a Platinum game? Have you actually played one, because that's a one way ticket to a terrible k/d ratio.

This music. It is awesome. I do so want this game.

One thing about the review. I don't know how everybody else feels, but I really think this review (and pretty much all others) needs to have game footage. Jim may be the best review writer in the business, but words can only go so far in describing an entry into such a visual medium. I just think there is so much more illustration and impact of what he says when there is video as evidence of it. Of course, there is Youtube. But that footage isn't catered to the description in the review. Instead, it's catered to needs of whomever else posted it. If I'm not mistaken, Jim did mention he prefers written reviews and reserving video for his fun extra stuff on Youtube. I can respect that. But there is certainly an argument to be made for how much more practical and impactful a review becomes to the audience with video to support the praise or criticism or whatever other information is provided.

 

[Seneschal]

I assume Jimbo is directing some of his digs at the kerfuffle in Polygon's comment section. It's really regrettable that such a discussion even needs to take place.

Personally, I find Bayonetta "outrageous enough to get a pass" as well, but I've seen a lot of defensive comments making her to be a misunderstood feminist character by design. That, to me, just seems disingenuous - Hideki Kamiya never really hid how he felt about her.

And, really, the lurid camera is making it really hard to envision Bayo as some sort of comedic, drag-queen-fabulous sex-avenger, and not just a sleazy porn-prop.

 

[drednoahl]

Since this game is going to cost me a lot of money (due to having to buy the damn console and probably a controller too) I've actually read some reviews (because I had pretty much given up on reviews and reviewers since ME3.) You haven't answered all my questions, but you only missed one* and (I doubt you'd have had the time to find the answer,) and that counts for a fucking lot when some of the reviews I've read haven't told me anything I don't already know.

I was a little worried at first (and had to duckduckgo Rob Liefeld) when you brought up sexuality, but I should have known you'd review the actual game rather than dock points for feeling uncomfortable around an alphette (as in alpha female.) I was uncomfortable with a lot of the overt stuff in the first Bayonetta but I think it was there by design as another hurdle between me and mastery of the game; a guilty pleasure and a neat trick for the devs to pull off. If I'm right though then Bayonetta needs Julian Clary as a playable character because that would be like the biggest hurdle I'd ever face as a gamer (camp men make me really uncomfortable - I don't care about the gay bit.)

Cheers Jim.

*The question I was thinking of by the way was: is the ultimate reward for Bayonetta 2 not to play as Bayonetta as it was with the first game?